When You Were Mine (Mistletoe and Silver Foxes #2)

Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

“You have got to see this,” she called.

Trevor hauled the last couple of bags from the elevator and joined her in the top-floor suite.

“Isn’t this incredible?” she asked.

He knew she meant the three-hundred-sixty-degree windows, the fluffy white comforter, and the rustic wood furniture, but he was captivated by her.

The way she smiled so unreservedly undid him. Because it meant she was no longer encumbered by anger and resentment.

It meant she truly forgave him.

And that threw the door open to the possibility she’d take him back.

“What do you think?” She gestured around the circular room.

He was distracted by a fierce need to reach for her, kiss her senseless, and tumble her onto the bed, but she wanted an answer, so he paid attention to his surroundings.

Maybe he’d expected a nautical theme for an oceanfront guesthouse because he was surprised to find a treehouse. A fabricated tree took up one corner of the room, and plate glass windows let in the night sky. The snow covering the skylight muffled sound and created a cozy sense of well-being in the middle of a raging storm. “It’s nice.”

“Wait, look inside.” She showed him the knot holes in the tree, all of them glowing with a buttery light.

Each held a different scene in a fairy’s life. “That’s cool. My grandkids would get a kick out of this.” In one, a fae with translucent wings wore an apron and held a rolling pin, flour dusted on her cheeks. In another, a family sat at a table sharing a big meal. A dog had a whole turkey in his mouth, and the dad chased him.

“Here.” The moment she relieved him of some of the bags, she got busy setting up a picnic on the café table. “Wow, she thought of everything.” She held up napkin-wrapped cutlery. “She even wrote little notes telling us what each dish is. This is smoked lamb.” She pulled more cartons out. “Peas, cabbage, and this is flatbread.” Unwrapping it, she showed him the lattice-work design of the round, thin bread. “It’s so pretty.”

Overcome with happiness, he could only nod. To be alone in this tiny space, to have her relaxed and warm and…sweet… It was almost more happiness than he could bear.

She continued pulling out food. “Pickled herring. Ginger cookies. And look. Christmas ale. I hope she gave us a bottle opener.” She rooted around the depths of an insulated bag. “Got it. I should seriously hire this woman. An hour ago, she found out we were stranded, and she pulled all this together. She’s amazing.”

He realized he was just standing there, watching her, and that kicked him into gear. He set their purchases on the bed.

“You ready to eat?” she asked.

“Sure.” He joined her at the table.

“I’m going to have a little of everything.” She bit into the flatbread. “Mm. This is great. Oh, look, there’s a note. It says, ‘This is leaf bread. It’s an Icelandic Christmas tradition.’ Here.” She handed him a piece. “Try it.”

He took a bite but barely tasted anything. Wind battered the windows and whisked the snow this way and that, and even though they were insulated and safe, the storm kept up a threatening roar outside the walls of their tower.

“Are you okay? You’re being awfully quiet.” She set down her fork. “Look at me so focused on myself and my plans, I didn’t even think about yours. Are you supposed to be with Darby and her family tomorrow night?”

“No, I’m good. I have nowhere to be. I’d planned on spending Christmas with my son, but the kids are sick. In fact, that’s what prompted my engagement.”

“I’m not connecting the dots.”

“Eh.” He waved a hand. “Long story.”

She sat back in her chair and folded her hands across her stomach. “You won’t believe this, but I’ve got absolutely nowhere to be for the foreseeable future.”

He laughed. “True, true. Okay, well, I told you I retired so I could be a better father and grandfather, but it’s not going as well as I’d hoped.”

“Why? What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know. Let’s just say I’m not sure of my place in the family.”

“You’re the grandfather. That pretty much makes you the Big Kahuna. The top dog.”

“Yeah, I don’t think it works like that. They’ve got four little girls, and it’s pure chaos at their house. I thought if I jumped right in—you know, babysat, changed diapers, made dinner—I’d become part of the family. But I’m not. I’m a guest who gets in the way.” He laughed like it was a joke.

But she nodded as if understanding where he was coming from. “You don’t know how well I can relate. I’m on the outside too. They’re immediate family, and I’m… not. Don’t get me wrong. I know they love me and want me around. It’s just that I’m the aunt, the sister—I’m not the core family.” She took a sip of beer. “Does your son not trust you yet?”

“I don’t think it’s him. Cole’s a great kid. Totally open and forgiving. I think it’s more about his wife.”

“How so?”

He hesitated. Did he really want to talk about this? He wasn’t going to look good.

“You know, you say you want to get back with me, but that’s never going to happen if you filter out what you tell me.” She watched him carefully. “If you’re not an open book, if you’re picking and choosing which stories to share, then I’m never going to fully trust you. I’m not stupid. You know that, right? I can tell when you’re not being transparent.”

“I don’t think you’re stupid at all. I think I’m going to make myself look like an ass by telling you what my daughter-in-law said about me. It’s embarrassing.”

“Oh, goodie.” She rubbed her hands together. “Trevor Montgomery’s not perfect. Give me all the details. Let’s go. Did you fart at the dinner table? Did you steal cake out of the hands of a baby? That’s it, right? You shoved that cake in your mouth while all four teary-eyed little girls sat there and watched?”

“Thank you for creating a safe space for me to share my vulnerabilities.”

She cracked up, flinging a piece of bread at him. “Oh, just say it. I’m sure it’s not as bad as you think.”

“Fine. But first, get that evil gleam out of your eyes.”

She blinked furiously several times. “Is it gone?”

“You’re enjoying this too much.” He held up his hands in surrender. “But, fine. A few months ago, I heard my daughter-in-law say she couldn’t handle one more person in the house.” He was surprised at the hurt it still delivered. “I’d just cleaned the kitchen after dinner, helped with bath time, and read stories to the older two. I felt good, you know? Like I was contributing. So, to find out I was an imposition. It…” His mind blanked as he searched for a word that wouldn’t make him sound pathetic. But then, she wanted the truth, so he gave it. “It hurt. So, I’ve backed off. It sucks, but I’m giving them their space. It’s a big adjustment, going from two to four kids, so I get it. Anyway, at the airport, when I was heading back to Calamity for Christmas, I got a text from my son telling me the kids were all sick.”

“And you took that as code for ‘Don’t come. We want to spend Christmas by ourselves, as a family?’”

His gaze cut to her. How did you know that?

“It’s no surprise you’d hear it that way.” She smiled. “Your parents were martyrs. They made you feel like an imposition your entire life.”

“I don’t know if it was that bad.” But even as he said it, he knew Elzy was right.

“Oh, come on. They paid the farmhands—which was the right thing to do—but at the expense of their own health and well-being. They lived and died by their principles.”

He couldn’t argue about that.

“Remember, I worked in the feedstore, so I heard all the gossip. And you were a big topic of conversation.”

“Me? Why?”

“Because you were this happy, confident boy who’d show up to school in jeans that didn’t fit. The soles of your shoes flapped. And they were all upset because there wasn’t a damn thing they could do to help.”

“Did anyone talk to my parents?”

“Oh yeah. For sure. The church ladies spent a lot of time trying to convince them of the damage they were doing to you.”

“I wouldn’t call it damage .” Although maybe it was time to stop defending their actions and see his parents for who they really were. Maybe that’s how the healing begins.

“Really? You were a growing boy, and they fed you nothing but tomatoes and bread for an entire summer. And when the community wanted to help, your parents wouldn’t let them. In fact, if you had new shoes, it would mean they were vain and self-focused. You were living proof that they were ‘good’ people.”

“You never told me this.”

“That’s because I’m only putting it together right now. But even as a kid, I can remember how it felt when I came over. Your dad was either outside working or in his office. When your mom asked if she could fix me a plate, she had this pained expression like she was dreading my answer.”

“What do you mean?”

“Her eyes begged me to say no. They were both exhausted and didn’t want to be bothered with anything outside of the farm, their chores, and the basics of life. My point is, I felt like just being in their house was an imposition.”

Something shifted inside him, a clearing that enabled him to see his past from a new perspective.

Yeah . Me, too .

“And I can’t even imagine what it was like for you,” she continued. “When they didn’t go to your football games, you got the message you didn’t matter. When they fed you tomatoes and bread, what else did you hear but you weren’t important? Forget that they didn’t read to you or buy you toys. Trevor, they didn’t meet your basic needs by feeding and clothing you.” She grew impassioned. “They neglected you. There’s just no other way to say it.”

“I think you’re right, but it was confusing. Because they painted a different picture.” It was like glancing into a mirror as you walked past, only to see a different image than what you expected. “They believed they were doing the righteous thing. Like you said, godly.”

His parents were hardworking people. They were honest, moral people.

They worked the land.

They went to church.

Did they smile much? No. There was no joking around in their house.

They never set down their hoes to come to his graduation.

But that was normal for farmers. Or so he’d been led to believe.

He just hadn’t seen it as neglect.

“You know, I don’t think I understood until just now that taking the job in Scotland was how you showed your love.”

His fork clattered on the table. “Are you serious? I said it at the time. I said, ‘I have to do this for us.’”

“I know, I know. But remember, I had an entirely different perspective.”

“Jesus, Elz. You knew how bad it was. My mom wouldn’t buy her medication because they had to pay the farmhands first.”

“I know. I just had a different understanding of love. How to show it.”

“I can’t tell you how many nights I’d wake up and check for the light under my door. It meant my dad was at the kitchen table again with his books and his pencil, trying to figure out what to do with the pennies in his bank account. In a good year, he had to pay off debt. He could never get ahead. Do you understand what I’m saying? My parents were never going to get ahead. They were going to stay in that cycle until they died.”

“I knew it wasn’t a great childhood, but I don’t think I understood how bad it was for you.”

“Of course you didn’t. Because I was happy when I was with you. I was fucking miserable when I was at home. And scared.”

“Scared?”

He shrugged. “The loneliness, the quiet… It wasn’t a good feeling.”

“That’s probably why our bond was so strong. Because I was lost and scared without my mom, and you were lost and scared in a house with parents who ignored you.”

Bullshit. “Our bond was strong because you’re in here, Elzy.” He smacked his chest. “You know it because you feel it too. You’re just scared to trust it. And that’s on me. I did that, but I will spend the rest of my life proving myself. I know what it’s like to live without you, and I’ll never make that mistake again.”

He saw the exact moment it happened. The softening in her eyes, the ease in her shoulders. She’d let down her guard.

And he was going to swoop the fuck in. “You want to know why I never dated anyone seriously? Because I never stopped waiting for you. I knew I’d find you again. I had to. Nothing else made sense. Have you ever lost anything so important you can’t stop looking? You toss the whole house, search the car… You just can’t let it go? It turns into this frantic feeling of loss?”

“Yes. I know exactly what that feels like.”

“That’s what I’ve lived with for thirty years.”

“I know.” She sounded resigned, like she hated to admit that she did too.

“But we did it, Elz.” His chair scraped back, and he stood up. “We made it back to each other.” He came closer, crouching at her side. “Tell me you feel this too.” He placed her hand over his thundering heart. “It’s not just me?”

“Yes, of course I do. How could I not?” She let it rest there for a moment before pulling it away. “But it’s different for me. I had to mourn you. I had to learn to live without you. I had to let go.”

“But we don’t have to do that anymore.”

“You were the boy who couldn’t be in the same room without touching me. When my mom died, you rode your bike to my house and sat with me. You were eight, Trevor. And how many times did I walk into my classroom and find a flower on my desk? A bag of M&M’s under my pillow? Remember when I was sick and missed a whole week of school? Trevor, you brought me popsicles the first day, a sketchbook and markers the second day, three DVDs the day after that… I mean, I went from that kind of absolute adoration to”—she snapped her fingers—“nothing. Just like that, you were gone. Can you imagine what that felt like?”

“No. I can’t.”

“So, what I’m saying is you left me. You spent the last thirty years regretting it. I spent it healing. I’m healed now, Trevor.”

Anguish threatened to grab hold and yank him under, but his determination wouldn’t let it. “That’s why it’ll work between us now. We’re both healed.”

She didn’t look too sure about that.

And that was fair. He still carried guilt where she and Cole were concerned. “Okay, fine. I’m not as far along as you are. But I’m working on it. Can I get credit for that?”

“Sure. Now, sit down and finish eating.”

“I’m still the guy who can’t be in the same room and not touch you,” he grumbled, but he did as she asked.

“Yeah, well, that’s one of the things I’ve missed the most.”

“Being touched?” It made him curious about her fiancé. What kind of relationship did they have?

“No. It’s more…” She waved her fork as she tried to find the words. “You know what I learned about being a mom?” Her eyes went wide. “Not that I’m a mom. I’m not. But being the oldest sister and aunt, I feel like I make the magic, but I don’t get to experience it. It’s hard to explain.”

“For the record, you’re a mom. Maybe not biologically, but in every other sense of the word.”

“Yeah, probably. But I just mean I’m the one who hosts the birthday parties and fills the stockings. I cook the big holiday meals.”

“Your sisters never host?”

“Not really. Well, the year I had surgery, Kelly hosted?—”

“Whoa, hang on. What kind of surgery?”

“Oh, it was just a cyst. It wasn’t a big deal. I’m just saying I’ve been a lot of things in my life. I’ve worn a lot of hats, but I haven’t been the main character in a relationship since the day you left.”

He couldn’t eat. Could barely keep himself seated. His need for this woman overwhelmed him. “You realize, in a parallel universe, we’re eating this dinner in bed, right?”

She stilled.

“You’re sitting on my lap, and I’m feeding you these potatoes because you like them more than I do, and you’re thinking you shouldn’t eat carbs, especially ones with salt and butter, and I’m telling you that your body is perfect, and I love your curves, and I like watching your ass jiggle while I fuck you from behind.”

“Well, that’s completely inappropriate.” Her features flushed, and she licked her bottom lip. “Go on.”

He picked his chair up and moved it right next to hers, placing his hands on her thighs. “You kiss me because you like knowing you can be completely yourself around me. You can chew with your mouth open and laugh so hard your face gets weird-looking?—”

“What do you mean by ‘weird-looking’?”

But he ignored her. “And you know I’ll see a woman who loves food and has a gusto for life that makes me want to get closer, to soak up all that passion and break through whatever membrane keeps our bodies and souls separated.”

She scraped her fingernails from his temples to the back of his head. “No one’s ever loved me the way you do.”

“That’s because we’re made for each other. In this life and every life, it’s always going to be Elzy and me. Wild Bill and Calamity Jane. Do you believe me?”

She searched his eyes, color surging into her cheeks. Confidence took hold. “Yes. I think I do.”

“Thank fuck.” He lowered his head onto her shoulder and held her as close as he could with two armrests in the way.

Her hands fisted in his hair. “Trevor?” she whispered.

“Yeah?” Need rode so high, he couldn’t look at her. Because if he saw even a hint of consent, he’d…

“I don’t want it to be a parallel life. I want it to be us. Now.”

Intention surged through him. He got up so fast the dishes rattled. Sliding his hands under her ass, he lifted her and carried her to the bed. Dumping her onto the mattress, he grinned at the way she laughed, so free and unencumbered. The humor faded as he gazed into the eyes he’d missed desperately. “You want to be with me?”

Biting her bottom lip, she squirmed beneath him and nodded.

“I don’t mean fucking. I’m asking you if you’re going to give us a second chance.” He held her gaze, letting her know how serious he was. Life or death, he had everything riding on her answer.

But she didn’t even hesitate. “Yes, Trevor.” She pulled him down on top of her sweet, sexy body. “But you have to promise you won’t hurt me again.”

“Elzy, I finally have you back. I won’t do anything to hurt us. You’re mine.” He kissed her cheek. “Mine.” And then, her other cheek. “Mine.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “I will dedicate my life to making you happy. I’ll treasure you and listen to you, love you and support you.” He couldn’t wait another moment to claim her mouth.

Once he fell into the soft, slick heat, desire yanked him under. A slow, delicious churn of arousal sent his nerves thrumming. He loved the way she responded to him, matching his need, his hunger.

Lowering his hips, he wedged his cock between her legs. Her scent, her hands in his hair, the press of her plump breasts against his chest, enflamed him. Sitting up, he peeled off her wool socks. Kissing the soles of her feet, he smoothed his hands up her thighs until he reached the waistband of her pants. After unbuttoning and unzipping them, he peeled them off her body, then went back for the scrap of hot pink lace that stretched across her hips. The damp patch on the gusset of her panties stirred him up, and he yanked them off, burying his face between her legs and licking the wet length of her.

She gasped, her ass rising off the mattress, and grabbed the back of his head to keep him close. He wasn’t going anywhere. He wanted her moans and the restless shift of her hips. And he fucking loved that gush of slickness when he licked just the right spot.

As his tongue flicked and circled the little nub, she rocked against his mouth, her fingers curling in his hair. Her sounds grew more frantic, and he loved it. Loved the way she let go and surrendered to pleasure.

He wanted this—her— them . Wanted it more than anything, and he couldn’t believe he had her back.

She reared up, tearing off her sweater and unclasping her bra. Pulling him up by his shoulders, she kissed him desperately, wildly. “I almost walked away from this. I almost let fear keep me from us.”

“I would never have given up. You have to know that. I’ll spend the rest of my life winning you back.”

“Get naked. I want all of you.”

She didn’t need to ask twice. With hungry eyes, she watched as he jumped off the bed and tossed aside his clothes. “I hate every second we lost.”

“It’s gone.” Or so he hoped. “It’s over.”

The moment he tossed his black boxer briefs aside, she reached for his hips and pulled him to her. Her warm hand fastened around his cock, and she licked around the head.

Sensation tore through him, and he squeezed his eyes shut. That hot tongue worked him all over, getting him wet, driving him wild, and then, when she sucked him into her mouth, it flicked and explored him from tip to base. Oh yeah. Fuck yeah . His hands clamped the back of her head, and his hips rocked. It took every ounce of restraint to control himself.

Pleasure spun through him, winding him up, and he needed more, harder. She must’ve sensed it because she grabbed his ass and pulled him hard up against her, taking his cock deep into her throat. He pumped, frantic now, but his climax was just out of reach. And he knew why.

He needed all of her, their bodies pressed together, her pussy clamped around him like a slick, wet fist. So, he pulled out, tipped her back onto the mattress, and straddled her. Cupping her breasts, he pushed them together and lowered his face into her cleavage.

Her feminine scent connected with his core. Lust spiked so hard it almost hurt. He sucked a nipple into his mouth and pinched the other while his cock rocked over her stomach.

“Need you,” she gasped. “Now.”

Stretching out over her, he lined up at her wet opening and sank into her tight, hot channel. “You feel so good.” When her legs wrapped around his hips and her hands clutched his ass, he drove into her. He loved the way she met his thrusts, loved the sexy sounds she made every time he slammed home.

But he was going to come too soon, so he pulled out and flipped her over. Hiking up her hips, he slammed back inside. The jiggle of her ass, the bounce of her tits, made him lose his mind. He reached for her, filling his palms with her breasts, holding them lightly enough to feel them shake.

When he pinched her nipples, a rush of desire spilled all over his cock, and he kept one hand on her breast while the other sought her clit.

And then, he drove into her again and again. He lost himself completely in sensation, desire, need. And when her head tipped back, when she cried out, when her hips swiveled and twisted as if she were trying to get him inside her as deeply as possible, he lost control.

He came in fiery waves, one climax following another. Stars exploded behind his eyelids, and he soared through a state of pure elation.

Elzy, Elzy, Elzy.

She’s back.

We’re together.

The revelation triggered another wave of orgasms, and his brain short-circuited. He practically blacked out.

Finally, when he settled down, he fell onto his side, dragging her limp body up against him. “Swear to God, Elzy. Nothing will ever come between us again.”