17. Eli
17
ELI
I watched Cal walk behind Mendax. She was favoring her right leg, obviously in more pain than I had realized. She never was one to complain about things like that. I thought of my father and how strong he had been, what a good person he was. There was no way he would have been as close as he was to Zef if Zef wasn’t a good person. I knew it was foolish, especially after everything he had done, but I remembered Zef visiting with Father before he passed, and I knew Zef loved his family. I knew he loved Cal and Adrianna more than anything. He had to.
My mother had destroyed any chance Cal ever had at a loving, happy home life. Now that I couldn’t be the one to give that to her, I had to be the one to make sure it happened for her. If that meant Mendax stayed bonded to her, then that was a sacrifice I needed to make. After everything my mother did to her, I owed that to Cal. I needed to convince her not to kill her father too. I knew her well enough to know she had something in the works in her brain—a backup plan that didn’t involve help or actions from any of us. I supposed that was my family’s fault too; she never felt like she could fully trust or rely on anyone, not even me.
I took a breath and made one last effort before we reached whatever lay waiting for us at the end of this path. She just needed to see that he wasn’t as bad as she was making him out to be…I didn’t think.
I knew in my gut I should leave things alone and not meddle, but Cal could miss out on having a real relationship with her father because she didn’t bother to listen to his side. What if she didn’t get to have her father in her life because she had an itchy trigger finger…or, I guess in her case, an itchy throat-severing finger and lost the chance to get to know him forever all because she was impatient and murdery. “Cal, Zef is?—”
“An awful, horrible dead man walking?” she offered. Her quick response gave me a hunch that she had been thinking about him too.
My face puckered. “Awful? That’s arguable. He put you in the human realm to keep you safe. I know it’s not what you want to believe, but he cares deeply about you. I just know it.”
“What?” She flinched. “Are you out of your mind, Aurelius?”
Fuck, the dreaded full name.
“He doesn’t care about me at all. He put me in the human realm to keep me away. You think he would have purposefully stayed out of my life when I needed him so much because he cared deeply about me?”
“You know, this is just like you.” I shook my head. “You always think the worst of everyone. Not every person is horrible and deserves to die. People make mistakes, Cal. It doesn’t mean they should die for them. How will they ever get better and change if you won’t let them?”
“Why do you care so much?” Mendax asked, stopping in front of me.
“I don’t always think the worst of everyone, and you know what? You would be the same if you’d been through half the shit I have!” Cal yelled, stopping on the bricks.
“Oh really? I don’t understand half the shit you’ve been through? Like your friend murdering your mother? Or growing up with a mother who tried to leave you in a forest? Maybe your sister has been leading an entire army of Fallen fae—the same ones who have been trying to overthrow you and take over your castle because they have nowhere to go and blame you. Yeah, sorry to rain on your pity parade, but I have been through that!” I spun on my heels and took a few steps. This was not going how I had hoped, and who knew how much longer this road actually was?
“That’s what this is about?” she snapped, taking a few steps toward me. “You told me you understood. Saracen killed my mother and sister and put me through hell! You think your mother deserved to live? That she could have changed ?”
I knew I shouldn’t, but the hinges of my mouth were loose with sadness. “Cal, what do you think the families of all those hits you did for my mother would say if they were asked that about you? Do you think you deserve to live? I know for a fucking fact you killed innocent people. Somewhere in your mind, you think it makes it okay if you kill because they have wronged you, but you’re no better than them. You think they didn’t have a vendetta? You think none of them had families? Sons like me?”
“Watch your mouth,” Mendax growled at me.
Cal snapped her head around and shot him a look. She didn’t need a fucking guard dog.
Thistle let out a hellish-sounding snort and pushed against me, letting me know she had my back.
“I don’t give two shits what the families of the people I killed think or do, and do you know why?” she screamed. “Because the only people I care about are standing next to me right now or are dead! Don’t act like you know more about my father than I do, Aurelius, just because a hundred years ago, he was best friends with your father. Look at who your father chose to marry. His judgment of people, much like your own, is not without flaws.”
The sting of her words must have been written across my face.
“Yes,” I said softly. “What kind of an idiot gets the wool pulled over his eyes for twenty years thinking a girl is sweet and kind when she’s really a greedy, malicious, venomous monster filled with darkness who refuses to accept anyone could be a good person who simply made a mistake they regret.”
It was her turn to feel the sting of harsh words.
The two of us glared at each other with clenched jaws.
“If you two ever decide to stop wasting time, we can get this journey over with.” A few feet away, Mendax stood like a shadow, ready to evaporate into the dark landscape behind him.
Cal and I looked at each other again with mutual understanding. This was by no means the first time we had ever had a fight. That was another part of being so close to someone—you didn’t always have the same views, but you loved them anyway, even when you didn’t like them. This wasn’t the time for us to be fighting.
“You could have stayed…” I trailed off. “You might have been happy in the human realm.”
“Are you upset that I came back?” she snapped defensively.
“No, not at all. I just—I can’t help but feel like this is about to have a horrible ending for me,” I replied calmly.
“Mr. Positive, everyone,” Cal announced sarcastically.
What a wiseass. “If you succeed in your attempt to kill Zef, they will kill you, and if they force you to choose between Mendax or I, you will choose him—you should choose him—so sorry for my lack of positivity.”
“You don’t know what you are talking about. It won’t come to that, I promise. We will all get out alive,” she offered. “I know we will.”
“No, we won’t.”
Our gazes both shot to Mendax, ever the contrarian.
“I don’t think you realize what it will take to kill your father, Calypso. With the state you are in right now, he’d have to do it for you. What do you think is going to happen to us when you fail to kill him and instead only anger one of the most powerful Artemi that ever existed? I cannot protect you like this. There is nothing I can do to stop him if he goes for you, and I will likely die trying. None of us will leave Moirai alive if you attempt to kill Zef. It’s as simple as that. I don’t particularly care one way or the other, but Aurelius sure does seem set on living. I don’t think you should kill him either. Not yet.”
Mendax and I locked eyes. The large fae gave a slight nod in my direction.
How could Cal possibly not see how much people could change when she was in love with him?