Where did you go? (Infatuated fae #3)

27. Mendax

27

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“Y ou were with her,” I accused.

Aurelius opened his bedroom door. I was already inside the cottage.

“Why are you in my room? Or my house for that matter?” he asked groggily. His lack of concern that I wasn’t about to kill him irked me. Had he no self-preservation?

I shoved in past him and nearly gagged on the smell of her, it was so strong coming off him.

You cannot kill him yet. His life is still tied to hers.

I glared at him. “Have some tea. You look like shit.” I handed him the stone cup.

He took the cup and let out a sigh. “I was with her. She had a tough time with her father and needed a friend. If you haven’t noticed, she doesn’t know how to deal with emotions and just gets angry. Look who I’m talking to,” he grumbled before taking a sip of tea.

“I already advised you once against touching her, did I not?” I asked.

He sat down on the bench at the foot of the bed. “How do you know I hugged her?” he challenged.

I took a big breath in before slowly letting it go. “Because the creature hasn’t given me a moment’s peace since I met her. Her body, her voice, even the scent of her is like blood to a leech with me. I can’t have enough of her, so my senses seek her out with a lupine whine of desperation. I know that you hugged her. A lot.”

“And? They moved her rooms to the gardens. I’ve told you, you have nothing to worry about. We are friends. Now go back?—”

“Believe me, I’m not worried…for me. You’re not her type.” I cut him off and walked to the door. “I hope they were goodbye hugs, because I’m going to kill you soon.”

He rolled his eyes. “You’re so sure that I’ll be the one to die today? I really hope you have something dramatic up your sleeve, because I hate to tell you, but the Fates have already chosen me.”

“It’s a good thing you promised me a favor then, huh? The time and place of my choosing? Remember you gave me your word on the mountain?” My eyes searched his. He was telling the truth. “When did you find this out?” I asked.

He looked to the ground, almost as though he felt badly about what he was telling me. “Late last night, and I’m not giving you that favor. The woman you hurt outside the Fates’ hall told me after I helped her. You really shouldn’t hurt innocent people.”

“You forget I don’t care about innocent people or others in general.” I moved to the door. “How’s your tea?”

“It’s good. You should do more nice things like this.” He took a large swig. “Mendax.” His tone was suddenly serious. “I don’t know what is going to happen today, so I want to say goodbye to you. I’d like to say I’m sorry for how this all has worked out, but I’m not.”

This was the trouble with Aurelius: he was a stereotypical Seelie through and through. It wasn’t in their nature to be mean or deceptive, unlike my people. But this particular Seelie had been raised by a queen who contradicted everything Seelie. Even though all signs pointed to the latter, I wouldn’t have blinked twice to find out that he wasn’t at all the flower-smelling, door-holding hero Caly thought he was.

The yellow-haired fae continued. “After getting to know you during this expedition, I still don’t like you. Sometimes I’m baffled that Cal, or anyone for that matter, could love you as much she seems to.” Two large vertical lines formed between his brows.

“If you aim to hurt my feelings, I’m afraid you will be disappointed.” I walked to the window and looked over to my cottage. “I am barren of any feelings aside from the creature whose stench you wear like a fucking cape.”

“You know, I believe that. I really don’t think you care about anything or anyone but her.” He rose from his chair and moved in front of me. “Then you will agree. Caly deserves happiness and someone who knows how to keep her safe. As a human, she is fragile and cursed with a short mortal life. Until I can find a way to give her all my powers, she needs someone with her who is going to give her the safest, happiest life possible. You want that for her too, right? Goodbye, Mendax.”

For our kind, he was still young, but he carried himself with a confidence I hadn’t ever thought appropriate until I saw how he fought me when he’d worried I had hurt Caly.

“If you think my time with Calypso is near its end, you are drastically underestimating the level of infatuation I endure of this woman. There is nothing I won’t do for her—nothing. Kill me a hundred times, and every time, I will return with more determination than before—for her. Let this be my goodbye to you, the hero of Seelie. Say fuck you to Aether in the Elysian Fields for me when you get there, would you?” I clapped his arm roughly and moved toward the door, stopping before I stepped out. “You were never really her friend if you can’t tell she is meant for me.”

The door slammed behind my back, rattling the hinges as I stormed out.

I needed to see her so fucking bad it hurt.

My boots paused at the path’s intersection in front of the cottages. I inhaled, pulling the crisp morning into my body. My eyes closed as I reached for a thread of her scent. Stars in fucking Tartarus , I was such a fool for her.

I rolled my neck slowly from one side to the other, feeling the cracks and pops as I stood on the path. My body felt better today, as much as it could without my powers. I didn’t feel like myself, but at least I didn’t feel like my body was going to give out on me every few minutes. I thought back on the last few weeks of this journey. Had I not been struggling to keep Caly healthy, I would have had more of my powers. Images flashed through my head like a memoillusion cube of Aurelius and Caly holding hands and laughing. He was always watching me.

For the first time, I believed that the Fates must be as grand and all-knowing as they were made out to be, because had I had more of my power, I’d have killed the golden fae before we’d even left Seelie to begin this endeavor, and then I’d have lost her.

The heavy tread of my boots ground into the soil as I sharply turned to the right and proceeded with silent footsteps.

Out of instinct, my hands flexed, reaching for their deadly blankets of smoke. My pace quickened when the muscles of my shoulders flexed and no wings came. No power at all. Nothing.

Caly feels like this every day, and look at what she has done , I told myself. You will be fine too. It was all worth it if it meant I could keep her—anything to keep her. That was the deal I had made.

My feet picked up speed, and eventually I left the path all together and was running through the groomed flower beds, kicking dirt and smashed blooms across the pristine landscape as I hurried to my destination, every step slightly more frantic than the last.

When I had approached the Fates earlier, I knew I had only two things in my possession to barter with: Caly and my powers. I would only die without the first, and the second didn’t matter without her…nothing did. Unsurprisingly, they weren’t interested in just my powers but my…unique skills.

Apparently Caly’s sister was some kind of anomaly within the Artemi community, and they urgently needed her to ascend. I didn’t know the details, and I didn’t care.

Aurelius hadn’t been the only one watching Caly and her father last night. I’d heard everything Zef had said about how Caly wearing the ashes of her sister and keeping the last drop of Adrianna’s powers were keeping her trapped in Tartarus.

My heart pounded. It felt like a song in my chest as the building came into view.

I had known the Fates would decide to kill me. No matter who it was, no one wanted a hybrid Smoke Slayer and Impeller out in the realm, especially not one like me. But I had a bargaining chip, so I offered it.

I was the only one who would go to Tartarus when I died.

As long as Caly remained alive and safe and stayed bonded to me, I would go to the fae underworld voluntarily, taking with me the last drop of her sister’s powers and the pendant with her soul. I would set Adrianna free from Tartarus so she could finally ascend like they apparently needed her to. And I would get to watch Caly from the pits of Tartarus as much as I wanted. They had agreed only after declaring that they were going to take away every one of her memories that involved me to prevent her from attempting to get to me. I would spend the remainder of my time as a liaison between the Fates and Kaohs, who I was already close with.

I needed to keep Caly in my life in whatever way I could.

I was going to slit Aurelius’s throat the second they broke the tie between the two of them, before they killed me. I wasn’t worried about Sunshine getting out of line with her while I was away. I knew she was as infatuated with me as I was with her. That was how I knew my hellhound would still figure everything out and come to me. I’d find a way. Whether she had a memory of me or not.

The things I did for fun turned most fae’s stomachs, so one only had to guess what I would do for the woman I was bonded to and in love with.

Realistically, I was vulnerable and weak without my powers, yet somehow, knowing I could still keep her, it only made me feel more lethal. I wasn’t a killer because I had my smoke; I was a killer because I enjoyed the feeling of taking someone’s life away from them. That would only be amplified now. Before Caly, my kills had been loose and haphazard. A taste of fun so I could enjoy the feeling of something . But with the hellhound bonded to me, I could feel everything she felt as if it were my own. It had opened up a cornucopia of feelings that I never could have otherwise experienced. When she laughed, I felt it in a way I’d never be capable of without our bond. It had become an addictive elixir in my veins that I would never give up. Even if I wasn’t going to be a part of her memory, she would still be in mine.

I quieted my steps, pausing behind a bush to watch the large glass winged doors of the main building. My body pressed into the shadows, and even though I had no power to lend to them, they welcomed me in their dark embrace like an old friend, hiding me from view as the minutes passed.

Obnoxious birds chirped over the faint harp music. Three female Ascended Artemi walked out the doors and into the garden. I could feel their power like a punch in the temple as they passed.

Without a sound, I walked in the door behind them before it shut. The soft melody of strings sank into the marble at my feet as I silently passed through the empty entryway. The steps wanted to creak under my weight, but they were wise enough not to as I took them two at a time. Hallways and doors appeared as far and as high as I could see. Voices sounded down the opposite hallway. I took a few steps until I could press myself behind a drapery hanging off a nearby window. I closed my eyes as the small group passed and let the feel of their power wash past me.

They were demigods—half fae and half god or goddess. Until now, I had been convinced my powers were nearly invincible. I knew that Smoke Slayers were among some of the most powerful fae ever created—at least until I felt Zef’s powers at the mountain. His were unlike anything I’d ever felt before in strength. Even here, in Moirai, the Fates were the only ones I’d felt top his powers. It was no wonder they took my deal to get Caly’s sister out of Tartarus if she was supposed to be even more powerful than Zef.

I let out a quiet breath and moved down the hallway to the left. I could feel his powers radiating down the fucking hallway. It was the first time I could remember being unnerved since I’d killed my father. That day had changed me forever. It made me callous and cold. My father had been my best friend. Having to bear the duty of taking his life to protect mine and my mother’s had been the day a switch shut off in me.

I didn’t want that switch to shut off in Caly. I didn’t want her to feel what I had felt. I was going to kill Zef for her so she never had to change. She could remain the perfect little hellhound that I loved.

I would do everything for her if she’d let me. Every hard thing she ever had to do again, I would do it for her for as long as she lived, because ironically, I wouldn’t be alive, and she wouldn’t know I existed.

My fingers gripped the brass knob and turned. I opened the door, ready to fight, but what I saw gave me pause.

The pungent smell of cut grass sat in my nose as I took in the lawn in front of a familiar dark house about twelve paces away from me. A falcon cried out overhead. My forehead creased as I saw a pale blue sky where a ceiling would have been. It was as if instead of stepping into a room, I had stepped outside in front of another house.

A dark house on Arcanus Lane.