31. Caly
31
CALY
T he heavy crimson robes felt itchy and suffocating against my skin as I dropped my arms to my sides with a heave, accidentally pulling a few strands of hair out as they fell. I was trying to look somewhat presentable before we went to see the Fates, but it was a struggle. My hair felt long and stringy without having any conditioner, and my arms kept getting stuck in the large, bell-shaped sleeves of the robe and halting the progress of my braid.
I slammed my palms down on the washbasin in front of the looking glass in defeat. All I wanted was to braid my hair and not think about the fact that I was probably about to lose the love of my life. My fingers tangled in the knotted strands painfully, and I tightened my fist, ready for more.
My entire life had been calculated. There was nothing I wasn’t willing to do to get something done; it was second nature to me. So why then, in the most desperate hour of my life, was I unable to figure out what to do to ensure we all walked out of Moirai alive? This whole time, I had been trying to get to the Elysian Fields to apologize to Adrianna, and she wasn’t even there. I couldn’t count the number of hours I had spent trying to get where I was so I could kill my father, and now, all I wanted to do was ask him all the questions I’d never had any answers to. Everything I had thought about him had been a lie spun by my own hatred and need to place my anger for my sister’s death on someone. Hate and anger were so good at camouflaging vulnerable and weak sadness. I was alone, and I couldn’t afford to be vulnerable or weak, but now—now I didn’t feel alone anymore. I fought it at first, purely out of self-preservation, but the truth was I wanted a relationship with my father. I understood everything now, and I couldn’t bring myself to hate him after seeing how he’d been hurting too.
“Let me help you,” Mendax whispered from the doorway, startling me out of my tear-filled stare into the mirrored glass.
“How long have you been watching me?” I asked as I wiped my red nose on the giant hood of the robe.
Mendax moved behind me like a wraith and parted my hair down the middle with his pinky. He began to slowly comb through one side with his fingers. Tingles of pleasure tickled across my scalp, and I let my eyes fall closed—just for a second. His strong grip began to deftly pull and twist my hair into an impressively intricate braid.
“You know how to braid hair?” I asked, feeling like this was my final straw and that I may actually just be hallucinating all this after all.
His lips pulled up at one corner before twitching in concentration. I watched his every move through the mirror. He was somehow the most daring and horrifying man and the most surprisingly tender all at the same time. I supposed that was what happened though when your shell hardened—your insides softened even more with the protection.
“I frequently braid my stallion’s mane. Your unruly mess is no different,” he whispered with a twinkle in his eyes.
“Lovely,” I mumbled with a roll of my eyes. I had to hike up the robe as it slid off my shoulder for the thousandth time. As Mendax tied a scrap of fabric around the end of one braid and started another, I couldn’t help but notice how well his robes fit against his broad shoulders and long arms. It must be a trial outfit or something, because I had only seen the other men wearing robes like these. All the women I had seen, which, granted, were only a few, had more stylish dresses or robes than those of the men. Mendax looked like a god draped in the blood of his enemies in his scarlet robe. His long, black hair and pale eyes were strikingly beautiful against the vibrant red. He was stunning.
“Promise me you won’t leave me tonight,” my soft voice croaked.
“I promise,” he answered just as softly as he swept his fingers over the back of my neck. Goose bumps erupted across my flesh at the simple touch from him.
“Why are you lying to me? I know you saw the Fates,” I rasped as I watched him finish my last braid.
His harsh eyes caught mine in the mirror. “Because I’m a liar among other things.”
“Malum, there are other ways to get to Tartarus. You’re friends with Kaohs. Please don’t do anything stupid tonight,” I snapped. I could already feel through the bond he was settled on something. I could feel his fear and excitement. It was unnerving.
In one smooth motion, he spun me around and lifted me up onto the ledge of the washroom counter. I swam in the large robe, and it easily made room for his body between my thighs.
“I’m going to Tartarus tonight. The Fates have already accepted my deal.”
I felt the blood drain from my face. “What deal? No.”
“They will sever your tie with Aurelius tonight but kill me.” His palms tightened around my hips.
I couldn’t breathe. My entire world was falling apart, and I didn’t know how to stop it. “In exchange for what? You can’t. You don’t have to die. We will find another way. You are close with Kaohs.”
His throat bobbed, and I watched his Adam’s apple like it was a beacon. “In exchange for keeping the bond intact and you safe.” For the first time, I watched Mendax’s eyes grow glossy with unshed tears. “You won’t remember me after tonight. They are removing me from your memories, but the bond will be in place forever. I will never stop watching over you, even when you don’t know I exist.” He moved his palm over the front of my throat and, with a quick and sudden tug, pulled Adrianna’s pendant from my neck. “I can’t make you any promises, but I think in exchange for my services, I might be able to get Kaohs to return Adrianna to Seelie. You could finally get your time with her.”
“What?” I wanted to scream or cry, maybe both. The thought of getting to apologize to my sister finally was almost enough to silence my pleas—but not quite. I felt my face heat. “That’s it?” I snapped with all the venom I could infuse into my words. I was furious. “After all this, you’re just going to leave me too? You know, you are so full of shit! This entire, horrible journey, you have acted as if you would explode on Eli for so much as looking at me, just to turn around and forfeit yourself. Do you even care? Why pretend to hate Eli so much if you were just going to leave me with him?” I laughed. It was a laugh filled with venom and pain, absent of any humor.
Mendax leaned into me until my back was smashed against the mirror so hard, it fell from its place on the wall and off the counter, shattering into pieces on the floor beneath me. “Do—not—question—how—much—I—care,” he ground out through clenched teeth. I could tell he had snapped. He stepped away and slammed the door shut so hard it fell from the hinges with a crack. He turned back around with an evil smile that made him look absolutely unhinged. “And who said I was going to leave you with Eli?” He stormed back over to me, and the glass crunched under his feet.
My stomach lifted to my throat when he grabbed my face in his hands. I’d never seen him like this. He was completely unbridled. I didn’t know if he was going to say fuck it and kill me or fuck me. I wished I could say I wasn’t scared of him, but the truth was he terrified me. Knowing he could crush me at any moment but instead chose to cherish me was intoxicating.
“What is going to happen to Eli?” I asked, suddenly very afraid for my best friend.
“I’m obviously going to kill him before I go.” He smiled wide. “Now let’s go. It’s time.” He bent down and kissed my gaping mouth before lifting me up and moving me away from the glass, not setting me down until we were outside on the grass. “Caly.” His voice had softened. “I’ll always be with you through the bond. Don’t ever forget that.”
I gathered up the fabric that pooled on the ground and followed Mendax up the path to the main house, completely at a loss. How was I going to stop this?
I racked my brain in a dazed panic until we entered the main building. The air smelled luxurious with a clean hint of saffron and cedar. Every clack of the floor sounded louder, and I realized for the first time since we’d been there, I heard no harp music playing in the background.
I moved to Mendax’s side and squeezed his hand. No matter what ended up happening, I needed my last few moments with him to mean something more than anger. He stopped abruptly, and I tripped over the long robe. Mendax caught me and pulled me close. His face looked angry, and I wasn’t sure what to expect.
“ Please never forget me,” he whispered before he bent me slightly and kissed me softly, running his tongue over my bottom lip and sending sparks throughout my body. If he thought I could ever forget him, he had no clue how in love with him I was. He was unforgettable.
“About fucking time. Are you late for everything?”
Eli sounded furious. What had happened?
Before I could look at him, Mendax began a fit of laughter that sounded unlike anything I’d heard. My eyes widened in shock at the sight of him laughing that hard. I hadn’t even had a chance to look at Eli, but once I did, my laugh rivaled Mendax’s.
Tall, muscled, and tan Aurelius, prince of the Seelie realm, stood outside the velvet curtain with arms crossed…in a beautiful crimson ankle-length dress with a train that billowed out. The stretchy fabric looked as if it were about to pop at the seams as he seethed at us.
“I think that you are wearing my robes,” he said with a flushed face.
Well, I supposed that explained the size of the robe.
Mendax, laughing the entire time, blocked me from view as I swapped my robe with Eli’s dress in the hallway. We didn’t have time to go anywhere else to change, and Eli was so embarrassed, he was almost fully clothed before I had even stepped into the dress. Of course, this one fit me like a glove.
Mendax moved the velvet curtain aside, and we crossed the threshold—all together for the last time.