40. The Firefly
W ooju has avoided death too many times. Like a firefly shining brightly with eternal life but with a broken wing, cursed to watch his loved ones die and unable to fly to their rescue.
Despite the hatred, emotional torture, and never-ending physical abuse he went through with the man he calls his brother, watching him die on the floor makes Wooju weep.
The wound Woohyun gave him has gone numb. It’s his heart that’s hurting now. Wooju doesn’t know how much blood he’s lost, or how long he’s been sobbing with his knees planted on the ground beside his brother’s bloody corpse, but it feels like an eternity.
Wooju’s body quakes as he replays some of his good memories with Woohyun: walking down the shore together and laughing, building sandcastles, catching fireflies.
Was it all just pretend?
Wooju stares down at his bloody hands.
Did I really do that?
He doesn’t notice the fire spreading from the stove to the counter and continuing over to the paper towel holder below the cabinets. But of course, that’s a lie.
How could he miss the fire?
The kitchen smells of danger and urgency, of smoke, chemicals, burnt eggs, weathering metal, and melting plastics.
Wooju simply doesn’t care if he burns, too.
With his muscles throbbing and his mouth going dry, Wooju reaches for his pocket and fumbles for his phone.
He dials Yunho’s number.
It doesn’t take long before he hears his best friend’s soft hello . Wooju bottles up his shaky breath to try and calm himself down.
“Yunnie,” he says gently, but his voice cracks as he inhales smoke—a lot of smoke.
Yunho emits a genuine laugh on the other line. “I haven’t heard you call me that in a long time,” he says.
Wooju’s mouth falls open, but instead of words, he lets out a tiny whimper and a cough.
He can’t even see clearly anymore, nor does he have the energy to stave off his blood loss. He feels so weak, so weak he could collapse in on himself, but he’s fighting. Because Yunho’s listening, waiting.
“Wooju, are you okay? Are you crying?” The panic in Yunho’s voice is crystal clear. “Are you in pain? If you’re in pain, there’s a call light at your bedside. Press the red button and someone will come to help you, okay? I’ll be there as soon as possible. I’m sorry I took so long, but Jihoon’s okay now. The traffic’s just crazy, but?—”
“Yunnie, I killed my brother,” Wooju cuts him off.
Yunho sounds taken aback. “What?”
“Noh Jaehee. He’s my brother, and I killed him.”
“Wooju, what are you talking about?”
“I killed him, Yunnie. I killed him. I’m a monster.”
“Wooju, that’s not funny.”
Just as Wooju’s cries become louder, a loud snap echoes in the room, followed by raging flames that drown out the human firefly’s whimpers.
“Wooju! Can you hear me?” Yunho’s shouting. He must have heard the noise. “Where are you?” Yunho’s voice trembles with hurt and disbelief. It’s as if he already knows what Wooju is going to say. “I told you we’ll figure it out together. Why didn’t you wait for me?”
“It has to be me,” Wooju starts again, covering his nose with his arm, “I have to do this myself, Yunnie.”
“No, you don’t,” Yunho says. “Just tell me where you are right now. If I’m going home, you’re going home with me.”
“I tried. I really tried.” Wooju sniffles. “After roaming through different timelines, I finally found a way to save you. I’m sorry it took me so long. I really am.”
“Wooju, please, just tell me where you are.”
“It’s always gonna be you before me and me after you. I’ll always choose you. You hear me?”
“I know. I know, but—” Yunho’s voice breaks.
“Remember what I told you before?” Wooju lowers his arm to his lap, allowing the growing smoke to waft into his nostrils. “If you ever miss me, just find me where fireflies dwell.” A faint smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. “I’ll be there. I promise.”
On the verge of losing consciousness, Wooju sees the antlered doe looking straight at him, unscathed and unfazed by the fury of fire encircling them both. Did the doe come to watch him burn, or did it come to take him away?
Wooju smiles, bracing himself for whatever awaits him. Eomma , thank you for carrying me this far. You can let go of me now. Please, let me go, he prays. Eventually, the doe releases him, and Wooju vanishes into the escalating blaze, just like a lone firefly consumed by flames.