Chapter 24
CHAPTER
24
One minute Sawyer felt like a god, with Mila staring at him with gratitude in her eyes, the next he lost his mind as she kissed him.
Correction, devoured him. Mila kissed like she did everything else in her life—with passion, gusto, no holds barred—and he couldn’t believe his luck.
Their mouths fused, a hungry, frantic moulding of lips and tongue that left him breathless and wanting more. A hell of a lot more.
Her fingers threaded through his hair, tugging his head closer, as she hooked a leg around his waist, and when she started writhing against him, he lost it. With a groan, he picked her up and backed up against the nearest wall, mindless with wanting her. He couldn’t see straight let alone think and it took a full five seconds to register he’d kicked the paint tray.
‘Put me down,’ Mila yelled, pummelling his shoulders with her fists, and he obliged, thankful the tray hadn’t been filled with paint and only held dregs.
Splatters covered the floor but not enough to do much damage and he squatted alongside Mila and grabbed a rag. ‘Got any turpentine lying around?’
‘Yeah, but don’t worry. Floating floorboards are going over this concrete so the paint will be hidden.’
Yet she continued to scrub at the paint spill like her life depended on it, unable to meet his eyes.
‘Hey, slow down.’ He placed his hand over hers, not surprised when she yanked it away.
She regretted the kiss.
Though calling what they’d just done a kiss was like calling a summer deluge a drop of rain.
‘Mila, look at me.’
After an eternity, she dragged her gaze away from the paint-splattered floor and looked at him. His breath caught at the depth of emotion in her wary gaze.
That kiss had affected her as much as it had him.
His heart still pounded so loud it reverberated in his ears, and he could barely think. But he knew he had to smooth this over; otherwise, she mightn’t want to go through with the deal. Not that she suspected he was behind it, but as the broker she’d have to see him again and if she felt too uncomfortable …
‘We got caught up in the moment, that’s all,’ he said, hating that he had to downplay what had been a phenomenal kiss—the kind of kiss to get him going in a way he hadn’t for a long time, if ever. ‘It’s okay.’
‘Okay,’ she echoed, still looking as shell-shocked as he felt. ‘I got swept up in gratitude.’ She made circles at her temple. ‘It sent me a little loopy. Won’t happen again.’
‘That’s a shame,’ he said, the blush staining her cheeks adorable.‘Because you can thank me like that any time.’
He expected her to fire back with a quip like she usually would, so her silence unnerved him more than if she’d kissed him again.
‘Want to stay for dinner? It’s nothing fancy, reheated lasagne, but it’s the least I can do.’
‘Sounds good,’ he said, happy to spend more time with her.
Being back in Ashe Ridge mightn’t be high on his list of all-time favourite activities, but reconnecting with Mila made him feel like he’d been missing out by staying away so long.
A few hours later, Sawyer sat opposite Mila, the flames low between them as the stars twinkled overhead. He’d travelled extensively for work, but no sky came close to the Wimmera, the stars dazzling on a clear night.
‘Sorry I don’t have marshmallows,’ she said, holding up her beer. ‘But at least I have these.’
‘Cheers.’ He raised his bottle. ‘Remember that time Will had the flu and your gran wouldn’t let him come outside and sit around the fire with us? He was a grump for a week.’
She laughed. ‘We had some good times around this fire pit.’
‘We did. Solving the world’s problems. Talking shit about kids at school.’
‘Speaking of kids at school, have you run into Shazza at the motel yet?’
He grimaced. ‘Yeah, this morning. Let’s just say she has a long memory.’
‘I swear I laughed so hard after you got caught with Simone at the motel, I had a stitch for hours.’ He didn’t understand the cunning glint in her eyes. ‘Though I have something to confess.’
‘I’m intrigued.’ He sipped at his beer, more content than he’d been in ages.
When was the last time he sat by a fire after a hearty meal, enjoying casual conversation with someone he liked being around, and taking time out to look at the stars? Too long, and he intended on making the most of his time in Ashe Ridge, with Mila, no matter how brief.
‘I was the one who tipped her off that you were in a room with Simone.’
Shock made him sit bolt upright. ‘No way. You dobbed on me? Why?’ But the moment he asked, he knew. ‘Because you had a crush on me?’
She winced and nodded. ‘Not my finest moment. But I was young and stupid and jealous as hell, so I called the motel asking to speak to you, saying you were in a room with Simone, knowing full well Shazza would go ballistic.’
‘You cramped my style,’ he said, feigning outrage, barely able to contain his laughter at the lengths she’d gone to. ‘Though I guess I should be flattered.’
‘Don’t get an inflated ego. Like I said, I was dumb back then.’
‘Smitten, more like it.’
And the feeling had been entirely mutual. Guess they both did a good job of hiding it.
‘That too.’ She laughed, and he joined in, thankful they’d moved past that kiss and managed to have an enjoyable evening.
It had been a tad awkward at first, but after she’d showered and they ate, they slipped into their old camaraderie. He’d been relieved, because if she freaked out over one kiss, what would Mila think if she knew how badly he wanted a repeat? And more?
Not that he had any intentions of having a fling with his best friend’s sister, but if he felt the pull between them so strongly after two days in town, how much harder would it be to keep his hands off her the longer he stayed?
That was the other thing. He’d be hanging around until the deal went through to acquire her land and she had the money in her bank. He couldn’t rush it, because it would raise her suspicions, so that meant he had to stick around. Who knew, maybe he could broker some other deals while he was in the area? He’d avoided the Wimmera because of its connection to his past, but the area was thriving, and he’d be a fool not to explore business opportunities while he was here.
‘We had some fun growing up.’ Mila tilted her head back and looked up at the sky. ‘It’s why I could never leave this place. Once my folks dumped me here, I fell in love with Hills Homestead because it signified home for me.’
Back then, Sawyer had been envious of Mila and Will. He would’ve loved to be raised by cool grandparents, not his deadbeat dad and browbeaten mum. Adelaide and Jack had given Mila and Will far more freedom than parents ever would’ve, and he’d loved being here, a welcome respite from his shoddy home life.
‘How often do you hear from your folks?’
‘Try never.’ She sat up straighter and swigged at her beer. ‘But I gave up caring a long time ago. I’m more pissed at Will moving all the way to London.’ She waved her arm around. ‘I’m so in debt with this place I can’t afford to fly over to visit, and he’s so busy at the hospital he never comes home.’
‘Yeah, that twenty-four-hour plane trip is a killer, which is why I’ve only been over there once.’
‘What’s London like?’
‘Eclectic. Busy. Cosmopolitan. Great to visit for a holiday, but I don’t think I’d like to live there.’
‘Why not?’
Because he needed his routines. Because the bustle of the place messed with his head. Because he needed structure and order in his life, not chaos, to function.
But he couldn’t tell her any of that, so he settled for, ‘It’s like Sydney. Glamorous to look at, fun to play with for a while, but after a few weeks you crave the peace of home.’
She nodded, thoughtful. ‘Yeah, I get that. I love my annual weekend in Sydney with Gran. The social stuff around the harbour is amazing, and Bondi has a distinct vibe, so we do a bunch of touristy stuff, but nothing beats coming back here.’
She sounded content with her life, and he wondered what it would be like to be so enraptured with a place you’d sacrifice your own happiness—namely, marrying someone you didn’t love—to save it.
‘I ran into your grandfather in town this morning. Did he have regrets moving away from the farm?’
Worry flickered in her eyes. ‘Did he say something?’
‘No, I just wondered. Hasn’t this place been in his family for generations? I just assumed it must’ve been hard for him to relinquish control.’
‘Not really. He made up his mind to move and that was that. He didn’t want to sell to me because of the debt I’d be in, but I convinced him, and he finally agreed. I thought he’d still spend a lot of time here, to be honest, but he doesn’t, apart from checking in with me occasionally. It’s like once he made a clean break he didn’t want to look back.’
‘Do you think your grandmother leaving him had anything to do with that? Wanting to forget?’
She shrugged. ‘Maybe, though he seemed determined to build the sandstone cottage and threw himself into it so wholeheartedly that I don’t think he missed the farm at all.’ She rolled her eyes.
‘Not that he’d tell me. No prizes for guessing where I get my independence from.’
He smiled, buoyed by the intimacy of their conversation. They’d been friends growing up but had never confided in each other about the deeper stuff. Lucky, because he had a lot to hide back then.
‘I think you get some of that from your gran too. Have you ever visited her besides catching up in Sydney?’
Mila shook her head. ‘Tally Bay sounds amazing and the pics I’ve seen from Gran and online are gorgeous. But I can’t afford to leave the farm for too long, so I’ve never made the trek to Northern New South Wales.’
‘How did she end up there?’
‘Honestly? I think she just drove until she didn’t feel like driving anymore. Plus there’s a thriving art community there and she loves to paint. Makes a living from it too. I’ve got three small canvases of hers I want to frame and hang in the cottages once they’re done.’
‘I don’t remember seeing her paint when I was around?’
‘That’s because she rarely did. I think she sketched a bit during the night and in the mornings before we got up, but I never saw her paint.’
‘I guess farm life is time-consuming.’
Mila nodded, lost in thought. ‘It is. And it’s not for everyone. I love it and it’s still tough, so imagine how hard it would be for someone who didn’t have their heart and soul invested.’
‘Is that why she left?’
‘I think so. Gramps isn’t the easiest person to live with because he rarely says more than two words on any subject, and Gran’s outgoing, so it must’ve been tough for her, stuck here as a farmer’s wife. She came from money too and left it all behind when she married Gramps.’
‘That’s romantic.’
‘Considering how they ended, not so much.’ The mouth he’d happily kiss again curved into a cheeky smile. ‘Which is why I think it’s great Gran’s staying in Gramps’s bungalow.’
Sawyer’s eyebrows rose. ‘How did that happen?’
‘She wanted to stay in the first farm-stay cottage, but it’s conveniently not ready, so I gave her a gentle nudge back to Gramps’s, where she happened to stay last night.’
‘Are you playing matchmaker? Because it might blow up in your face and then they’ll blame you.’
Mila pressed a hand to her heart, all wide-eyed innocence. ‘I can’t help it if my cottage isn’t ready, and Gran chooses to stay at Gramps’s place rather than the motel.’
He laughed and waggled his finger at her. ‘You’re playing with fire.’
‘I’d rather be playing with you,’ she whispered, so softly he thought he’d misheard.
Their gazes locked across the flickering flames and Sawyer knew he’d walk across hot coals for this woman.
She’d been the only person in his entire life who’d seen beneath his joker exterior, who’d given a damn about him. Even Cheraline, who set him on the correct path to manage his condition, had viewed him as something to fix. They may have been in a relationship, but she had a compulsion to rescue things—from cats to birds to kids—and he’d known deep down she saw him as another thing to save.
Mila had never done that. She’d been a staunch support when he needed it—and considering his home life, he’d needed it often—but she’d never judged or given unwanted advice. She’d listened and observed, and he’d been eternally grateful.
Which is why he could never hurt her, and that’s what indulging this attraction between them could do.
‘I thought we agreed that kiss was a spur-of-the-moment thing, not to be repeated,’ he said, wishing he could get a better read on her expression. But with the flames casting shadows on her face, he couldn’t tell if she was joking or not.
‘We did, but that doesn’t mean I can’t have a little fun at your expense.’
‘As I recall, you kissed me.’
‘Moot point,’ she said, with a coy smile that made him want to leap across the fire pit and drag her into his arms. ‘Logically, I know we should forget it, but let’s just say that kiss was something else and will probably keep me up tonight.’
He admired her honesty and it rammed home the fact that he wasn’t being completely honest with her. What would she think of his underhanded attempt at helping her? Will knew his sister better than anyone and he’d advised to keep Sawyer’s involvement on the lowdown. Sawyer agreed, but it wouldn’t hurt to test the waters, see what she said if he offered help.
Because that’s the only way he could see them starting something beyond friendship, if she knew the truth.
‘We’re close, yeah?’
She nodded.
‘And you trust me, yeah?’
‘Of course. I’d say you’re like another big brother to me, but that would be plain weird considering our lip-lock.’
‘Then what would you say if I offered to help you financially?’ He held up his hands, palms showing. ‘No strings. Just a loan. Or however you want to structure it—’
‘No.’ She shut down, her expression blank and her brows grooved in disapproval as she shook her head. ‘It’s lovely of you to offer, but I don’t want to mix business with pleasure.’
Before he could say anything, she continued. ‘And I’m not talking about pleasure in the sense I’d like to continue beyond that kiss.
I mean that we’re friends and when money enters a friendship, it never ends well.’
He agreed, but this was Mila, and it would be different for them.
And it irked that she’d been happy to marry Phil, her friend , with money a big part of their union.
‘But we’ve known each other a long time and there’d be ironclad contracts, not me slipping you an envelope of cash under a table.’
Her hard expression softened. ‘You’re sweet to offer, but my answer is no. You said you had a buyer interested in some of my land; I’d rather stick with that.’
Hell.
Now would be a good time to come clean, to tell her one of his companies would be acquiring her land, so to make the transaction easier they could cut out the middleman and deal directly with each other.
But Mila had closed off the moment he’d mentioned helping her and he knew that if he told her the entire truth now, she’d end up hating him and not getting the money she so desperately needed.
She yawned. ‘On that note, I’m going to call it a night. Let me know when you have confirmation from that buyer and we’ll get the ball rolling, okay?’
He nodded, the guilt at deceiving her sitting like a rock in his chest.
She stood and stretched, giving him a tantalising glimpse of stomach, and he wished he could bury his face there and wrap his arms around her.
But their relationship was muddy enough thanks to his quest to help her, and he needed to get the hell out of here before he did something foolish.
Like stay.