Where the Waves Kiss the Shore

Chapter 1

Kasia Wojcik balanced the three plates as she quickly crossed the Waterside Hotel’s otherwise empty dining room. As she reached the small but rowdy group at the table facing the harbor, she said, “Now, three full Irish. One with extra white pudding.”

“That’s mine,” piped up the most disheveled looking of the three young men, which was no mean feat. They were on the third morning of their long weekend on the island, and they’d been maximizing the profits of the Emerald Bar down the road for most of their stay. It had been good news for Seán, the bar manager, but she’d be glad to see the back of them on the midday ferry. Until then, they were customers, and she would do what she could to make them feel welcome.

“Is there anything else you need? Any other sauces?”

The white pudding lover emptied half the bottle of brown sauce onto his plate then smirked up at her. “I think we’ve got what we need, thanks. Why don’t you sit down and have a chat?”

She’d been relieved each morning when they’d let her be, grunting over their food as they soaked up the alcohol from the night before. “I’m sorry. I’d love to, but it’s just me working today, and I need to finish up in the kitchen before you check out.”

She glanced at her watch. They’d pushed breakfast time as late as possible, and they’d need to be packed and out in an hour to make the lunchtime ferry. The last thing she needed was them hanging around until evening.

He shoved the empty chair opposite with his foot and scratched at his three-day stubble. “Ah, come on. You’ve hardly said a word to us all weekend. Tell us a bit about yourself.”

She ignored the unfairness of the comment. She’d been nothing but friendly the whole time. The boys had either been hung over, or in a rush to get out to the bar every time they’d crossed paths. But she needed those five-star reviews. She leaned on the back of the proffered chair and plastered on the best smile she could muster. “I’m Kasia, as I told you when you arrived. I’m the hotel manager. What else would you like to know?”

The oldest of the three turned to her. The whites of his eyes were pink in the sunlight. “We were wondering where you’re from.”

That was always the question. “I live here, all year round. This is my home.”

“Ah, you know what we mean. Before that. Where are you from originally?” White Pudding speared a sausage as if to punctuate the last word, then started to eat it whole.

“We’ve been having a sweepstake, like,” said Pink Eyes. “Alan thinks Romania, but he’s an idiot; Shane here has gone for Ukraine; and I’m sticking with Russia.”

The third and quietest member of the group had the decency to avoid eye contact, looking down at his plate with great concentration. Kasia’s head throbbed with the effort not to respond as she wanted. She pushed back from the chair and turned to the kitchen.

“Ah, go on, put us out of our misery. Tell us who’s won.”

“I told you; I’m Irish. Do you need to see my passport?” She tossed the words over her shoulder as she pushed the door to the kitchen.

Before the door swung shut, Kasia heard the quiet one say, “Leave it, Tom. You’re pissing her off.”

She sidestepped Fergus—the ginger cat she’d inadvertently inherited and who only appeared for food or at a perfect time to trip her up—and gripped the cold aluminum of the sink. The view out into the bay could always calm her. Fergus jumped on the counter and bumped his head to hers. She tried to keep him away from the kitchen surfaces, but now she was glad of the interaction.

There had been a time when the type of encounter with people like Tom and his friends would have brought her to tears, but she was long past that. Still, it weighed her down like a backpack pulling at her shoulders. She’d never really be local; she’d always be a “blow-in.” It was a benign enough phrase. She’d heard many worse in her years in London and Dublin, but it still labeled her as “other.” And that was what she yearned not to be.

Peggy, her old boss, had treated her as part of the family from the day she’d arrived. A sharp observer of people, she’d picked up early on Kasia’s interest in women and her unease with that part of herself. Peggy had made it clear Kasia was in an environment where she could be herself and be accepted. If only she could believe that. Peggy had passed away in the early summer, and she was alone once more.

I’ve so much work to do. I need to get a grip. All her seasonal staff had long since left, returning to school or college. She’d have to manage on her own until the Christmas break. She surveyed the kitchen. Once she finished clearing up after breakfast, she had three rooms to clean and a hotel to lock up before she caught the evening ferry over to the mainland. She could wait until the morning for her shopping trip, but a fun night out in a city bar was too attractive to turn down…as was the young woman who worked there. Last trip she’d gone out of her way to ask when Kasia would be back.

The turnover of tourists was down to a trickle now as they moved from autumn to winter, but she never liked to risk the chance of anyone on the island hearing of her activities, so she sought out discreet encounters farther from home. She would need to keep up her visits to the city, or it would be a long, cold, and lonely island winter.

As she reached on tiptoes for the last pack of muesli on the top shelf, Kasia’s muscles complained from the workout they’d had last night with Melissa, and the packet remained just out of reach. A hand appeared from behind her, grabbed the pack easily and passed it down to her.

“Not as tall as you like to think you are.”

The quiet but playful voice warmed her heart. She turned to see Joey, her favorite person on the island. Maybe her favorite anywhere. Thick brown hair stuck out from under a dark beanie, their bright blue eyes shining with humor.

“Joey, what are you doing here?”

She leaned in for a hug but Joey stepped back, indicating their stained work clothing.

“I just got off the boat. Stay away unless you want to smell of prawns.”

“I love prawns.” She wrapped Joey in her arms, ignoring the slight fishy scent when her nose came close to their waterproof coat. She knew it was a sensitive issue for Joey, who was fastidious about showering after work, but she enjoyed teasing them a little. “You smell delicious.”

Joey pulled away and laughed. “You’re a liar, but I love you anyway.”

Kasia wished she and Joey felt differently about each other. It would solve so many of her problems. But she preferred lovers full of confidence and sass. Joey was lovable and attractive in a strong, sweet kind of way, but they didn’t float Kasia’s boat. Besides, Joey was too close to home for her comfort, even if an attraction had been there. What she did have in her life was a loyal, caring best friend, something she would never take for granted. “I love you too, fish face. Now, what brings you to town on a Monday morning?”

“Same thing as you.” Joey grinned and picked up the cereal pack Kasia had placed in her basket, peering at the label. “Five-grain muesli with coconut flakes.”

She snatched her preferred breakfast back, laughing. “We both know that’s not true. I’ve seen your breakfast cereal choices. If it doesn’t turn the milk to chocolate, you’re not interested.”

“That’s the truth. I needed to see Doctor Scott, so I thought I’d pick up some supplies while I’m here. Save me coming back to town later in the week.” They picked up a basket full of snacks. “I’m about done in town if you want a ride. We’ve got lifeboat training tonight.”

Kasia didn’t need to be asked twice. She’d take a ride on Joey’s little fishing boat over the ferry any day. “I know, I’m dreading it. I just need to pick up cat food, then I’m ready when you are.”

“Grand. And you can update me on progress with the will on the way back.”

“You’d better make it a quick trip then, ’cause it won’t take long.”

Joey turned as they waited at the checkout. “It’ll get sorted, Kasia. You’re doing an amazing job with the Waterside. It’s not just ticking over; you’re getting better reviews than ever. Once the will has been read, there’ll be some clarity and whoever’s inherited the hotel will invest to modernize it.”

Kasia looked up from meticulously stacking her groceries. “I’m not so sure. Peggy was so desperate to find a way to bring Kevin home, I wouldn’t be surprised if the will gives them all an equal share. Her final attempt to reunite her three sons.”

“I hope you’re wrong.” Joey paused while they packed up the groceries and carried the bags down to the harbor. “That feud has been going on since their teens. I can’t see them ever working together.”

“That’s what I’m worried about. It would make the future so much more uncertain.”

As they got underway, Kasia moved to the bow of the boat and watched the familiar shape of the island grow larger. It was her home, and she had promised Peggy she would do her best for the hotel, but at the end of the day, she was just an employee, and there was only so much she could do.

“Keep your line.” Joey’s voice boomed over the howl of the wind.

After her long day, Kasia wished she was tucked up at home instead of out at sea in the dark. Boat handling drills weren’t something she enjoyed. She was confident on the radio and operating the winch, and any other job really. But most of the other lifeboat crew had far more maritime experience, so she was never called on to drive the boat. She’d been volunteering long enough now, though, she was expected to extend her skills to anything that was needed. Although they would never go out without an experienced helm, if something happened to Joey while they were out there, others needed to be able to take over.

She reversed the inshore lifeboat toward the carriage that lay in the shallows of the pebbly beach. She’d got the boat off the carriage and completed the exercise. Now she just needed it to get back in one piece, and they could all go home.

She completed the maneuver, sat through the debrief, and changed out of her protective kit on autopilot, only vaguely aware of her surroundings. She was exhausted after her disrupted sleep the night before, but it had been worth it for the sex. She had always had a need for sex, though it didn’t sit well with her discomfort about her orientation. While she loved being with women, a small voice was always telling her it was wrong. The voice sounded suspiciously like her grandmother’s, and even though she’d come to terms long ago with the abuse she’d received for who she was, she couldn’t ever quite silence it.

“Are you okay?”

Joey’s voice shook her from her reverie, and she turned as they made their way around the harbor toward the hotel. “Of course, why?”

“You’ve barely spoken since we got back. You don’t need to do this, you know.”

Joey knew Kasia well enough to see her fear. The drills were bad enough, but the real-life emergencies terrified her. Often in darkness, and almost always in high seas, the tiny boat would go out to save lives.

“I do, though. Everyone who’s fit enough is part of this crew, and if Aoife, with a young family at home, has to go out, I’m happy to take my turn.”

“Seán wanted to make a big thing of how well you did tonight, and you were oblivious.”

“Was I? I’m sorry. I was thinking about other things.” She dropped her shoulders. “I’m really tired.”

“I’m not sure your city adventures are the best thing to set you up for the week. You don’t always have to play as hard as you work.”

Kasia looked around quickly, but the other crew members were out of earshot.

Joey swung an arm around her. “But you’ve always been among the best at pulling yourself out of bed at three a.m. and being on the boat in ten minutes, so I guess tonight was good practice for that.”

“I feel guilty about Seán. I should’ve been more of a team player.” Their stroll ended at the lane to the hotel. “Are you going to the pub?”

Joey nodded. “Everyone’s going, so I’ll stay for a quick one.”

“Everyone except me.” She leaned into Joey. “I should join you.”

Joey pulled her tighter. “They all know the hours you work, Kasia. They understand.”

She rubbed at her face, guilt winning out over exhaustion. “One quick drink.” Voices floated on the night air before the lights of the Emerald Bar came into view. Kasia smiled at the laughter.

“Go and get your order in. Seán’s paying.” Jacky Keane, the lifeboat mechanic and tractor driver, had somehow managed to beat everyone else back to the pub and sat with his pint on a wooden table on the deck outside, swinging his booted legs as he puffed on his vape.

A couple of the older fishers were nearby, and they looked up and nodded to Kasia and Joey as they climbed the steps. She pushed open the door and was met with a wall of light and sound, a sharp contrast to the night outside. The bar was busy for a Monday night, and the lifeboat crew would only add to the crowd.

At the bar, Joey took their favorite stool at the far end. Seán rushed in and joined the young man behind the bar. When he wasn’t acting as lifeboat operations manager, his full-time job was manager of the Emerald Bar, the island’s only pub. He poured them both a drink before serving the rest of the crew. He was one of Kasia’s closest friends on Inishderry, and a fellow blow-in, if only from Dublin.

He passed out the drinks and then rang his bell to get the attention of the crew. The chatter died down, and everyone gave him their attention.

“Tonight was Kasia’s first time taking the boat on and off the trailer, and I’m so impressed with what a great job she did.” He turned to Kasia. “It’s as if you’ve been doing it for years.”

She smiled. “Thanks. I can’t say I love it, but it’s good to know I could handle the maneuver in an emergency.”

He raised his glass. “Well done.”

Everyone raised their drinks, and those closest to Kasia tapped glasses with her. She smiled until their attention moved on and then sighed. “That’s me done. Can I go now?” She finished the last of her drink and pulled on her jacket.

“I’ll come with you.” Joey slipped off their stool and followed her out. “Thanks for coming out. Seán appreciated it. And I like having you around.”

The fresh air wasn’t enough to revive her this time, and she wondered if she had the energy to walk the few hundred yards home. She gave Joey a quick hug. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

She trudged down the hill alone, barely lifting her feet high enough to avoid tripping. It was good that tomorrow was a quiet day. Once she’d finished the laundry and prepared for the following weekend’s visitors, she should have a bit of downtime. Ideally, she would do some walking and swimming, but the way she felt at the moment, she might just stay in bed with a book.

It was difficult to stay motivated. Since she’d found the will in a drawer and handed it over to Anthony, Peggy’s middle son who lived on the mainland, she’d heard nothing about her future or even if she would still have a job. But this was where she wanted to be, more than anywhere. So, until she heard anything different, she’d keep the hotel running as best she could, even if it felt hopeless some days.