15. Ryker
Chapter fifteen
Ryker
Finley stares at me from inside the bathroom, and for a moment, I forget why I marched over here to begin with. Her eyes reflect how tired she is, and even I can see she looks a little sad—which I’ll assume is my doing—but I can’t stop myself from barking out, “Can we talk?”
Her shoulders straighten. “About what?”
I want to say, About Joey coming out of the bathroom moments ago—the bathroom you were also in , but I manage to pull in my green-eyed monster. “I—” I look around to make sure there’s nobody near us. Thankfully, there isn’t. “About us.”
Finley blinks then steps out of the bathroom with her arms crossed over her chest. “There is no us. You made that clear.”
I try not to flinch at her words, even though they’re true. “Please, Finley. Let me at least apologize.”
Her eyes narrow. “No Ms. Buckley this time, Professor West?”
My stomach feels as if there’s a lead ball in it. I know I deserve every bit of her snark and that I don’t deserve to feel hurt by anything she says or does, but I can’t help it. “I’ll call you anything you want me to call you. Please, let me apologize.”
“If it’s an apology for sleeping with me, I don’t want to hear it.”
My eyes widen at her brazen words, and I shake my head. “No, that’s not what—” My sentence is cut off by sounds of laughter that I’d know anywhere: Ezra. My nostrils flare, and a wave of anxiety sets in at the idea of being seen. I glance over my shoulder at the way I came then turn back to Finley as the sound of Ezra’s laughter moves closer now, invading our space.
She sighs in exasperation, and before I can think of what to do next, she grabs me by the front of my T-shirt and pulls me into the bathroom. She turns me and presses my back against the now-closed door, her body so close to mine I can smell her shampoo. I swallow, every nerve in my body sparking as I try to keep my natural reaction to her tamped down. The last thing I need right now is to get a hard-on. Especially if she and Joey—
No, I don’t want to think about that.
“Ms. Buckley.” The formal address is way too breathy to be anything but inappropriate. Her hard gaze softens a bit as she stares at my lips then up into my eyes. It takes her a split second to remember herself and her anger, and when she does, she steps back and pokes me in the chest.
“Say what you want to say. You have thirty seconds.”
“Fin—”
“Time’s ticking, Professor West.”
My chest aches at her anger, but I know I deserve it. “I’m sorry for the way I’ve been acting since last night. You don’t deserve it, and neither does Joey.”
Finley blinks at me, her shoulders easing but her lips still curled in her anger. “You’re right, we don’t.”
I keep gentle eye contact with her as I continue. “I’m sorry if I’ve made you uncomfortable. I don’t know how to act around you after…well, everything.”
She drops her arms at her sides and sighs. “So your solution was to be a jerk and act all weird?”
I rub my jaw. “I know, it was wrong of me. I’m sorry.”
Finley’s gaze darts to my lips before connecting with my eyes again. “You’re drawing attention to us, Ryker. The exact opposite of what you wanted.”
My stomach sours. “Has someone made you uncomfortable?” My automatic thought went to Joey, wondering if that’s why they were in this bathroom moments ago. Maybe he was asking her about us instead of coming on to—fuck, I need to stop thinking shit like that before I explode.
“Besides you?” Finley snaps.
I pause and press my lips together. “I deserve that.”
“Yes, you do. Just because we slept together doesn’t mean you get to act like an asshole. You can regret it all you want, but I’ve earned my place on this chase, and I don’t like the way you’ve been toward me. It makes me think you chose me to get in my pants, and now that you have—”
Bile rises from my stomach. “Is that really what you think?”
“I don’t know what I’m supposed to think. We were fine before yesterday, but now you’re different with me. Acting like I’m some fragile doll, asking me if I’m okay in front of Joey. Do I seem traumatized to you?”
I shake my head. “I’m sorry. Like Joey said, you were acting off, and I was concerned. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
The bathroom goes silent, and I fall still under Finley’s analyzing gaze. Her eyes are wide, and her breaths come out short as she takes me in, likely trying to determine if I’m telling the truth or not.
“Why did you pick me for this chase, Ryker?”
My name on her lips settles in my bones, easing me for a moment before I realize what she’s asking. My eyes narrow, and anger spikes in my gut. “You’re the most qualified—my best student if not one of the best our department has ever seen. Have I made you think otherwise?”
Her chest heaves as her breaths get shorter. “After yesterday, I’ve been questioning if maybe your choice has been colored by”—she waves between the two of us—“whatever this is between us. It doesn’t help that you bought me a brand-new camera. I shouldn’t have accepted it. Maybe I shouldn’t even be here.”
My chest cracks in two, and anger flares hot, making me lash out. “Stop that right now.” The command comes out in a bark, one that has her jumping at the tone of it. “I may be an asshole sometimes, but don’t ever think that I would do that to you. You should know me better than that, know yourself better than that. Don’t ever question why you’re here or if you should be here. You earned this spot, and that’s that.”
“Ryker…” She trails off, her tone still defeated.
Even though I know I shouldn’t, I step into her space, backing her toward the far wall of the small bathroom. “Do you really think I would bring you here this weekend if you didn’t deserve it?”
“I don’t know.”
I chuff. “What do you think I do? Fudge your grades? Give you an advantage?” My voice gets harsher now. “You take all of your tests online except for finals, which are still checked by a scanner. Your lab grades are not something I would ever fudge nor would I want to. You know the work we do is too important to me. You’ve earned every A and opportunity you’ve been given. Do I make myself clear?”
“I—”
Our chests brush together, and the warmth of her body seeps into mine as I stare down at her. “Do I make myself clear, Ms. Buckley ?”
Finley licks her lips, a long pause passing between us before she says, “I hear you.” But her voice is quiet and too meek. I don’t like it—I don’t like it at all.
I stare deeper into the brown depths of her eyes, our bodies even closer now. We’re close enough that I swear I can feel her heart pounding in her chest, beating in time with mine. “I mean it. Tell me you don’t think so little of yourself.”
“Ryker, I…” She trails off again.
“Tell. Me.” I punctuate the words. “I want to hear you say it.”
“I don’t think so little of myself,” she breathes out, the warmth of her breath puffing against my cheek.
“Say it again, louder. ”
Finley tilts her chin up, our eyes locked. For a second, I don’t think she’s going to do it, but then her lips part. “I don’t think so little of myself.”
Her words soothe some of the dull ache in my chest, but I know I have a lot more to make up for, a lot more than this moment I need to atone for. How did I fuck up so much in such a short amount of time?
When I take a breath, our chests bump together as my lungs fill with air. We’re standing too close, but I can’t find it in myself to move away. I want another moment to revel in her nearness, in the heat of her pliant body and the softness of her gaze. It’s a softness I’ve missed since the moment I told her I regretted laying my hands on her, especially because that was a lie.
“Ryker,” she whispers, my gaze drawn to her pink lips. Lips that look untouched and wholly kissable, a fact that alleviates a bit of the stupid jealousy that’s been clawing at me. I could easily lean down and press my lips to hers, but I know I can’t, not after the conversation we just had. Finley deserves to be on this team and feel like a fundamental part of this chase, and I need to get my shit together.
It takes everything in me to finally lean away from the sunshine of her skin and clear my throat. “You’ve been an asset to this team, both yesterday and today. Keep doing what you’re doing, and I’ll do better. I promise.”
“And you’ll be nicer to Joey?”
I nod. “Yes, but maybe you can convince him not to wear that T-shirt?”
Finley chokes out a sharp laugh. “Not a chance.”
I groan, though my lips are turned up at the corners. “I suppose I deserve that as well.” We’re quiet for another moment, the smell of the musty old bathroom tickling my nose. “We should get back out there before the others come looking for us. ”
She tips her chin, and I turn to leave. As my hand touches the door, she stops me. “I’m sorry I was snappy this morning and didn’t let you talk.”
“It’s okay—”
“No, I should have been more mature. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.”
She sighs and holds out her hand. “Friends?”
I want to balk at the word, because there would never be a world in which Finley and I could only be friends. I think she knows that, too. But what other choice do we have? This weekend needs to remain platonic, not only for both of us mentally but for the safety of ourselves and our crew as well, not to mention the integrity of our research.
I turn back to her fully and place my palm in her soft hand, giving it a firm shake. “Friends, Ms. Buckley.”
She smiles softly. “Call me Finley.”
I echo her smile on my own lips, her hand still in mine. “Then be sure to call me Ryker, no more Professor stuff. Not in front of the team.”
She nods. “What about Tornado Daddy?”
My dick twitches in my pants at the way “daddy” sounded coming from her. Fucking Joseph and his goddamn nicknames. I need to come up with a good one for him, though he’d probably like anything I came up with and delight in it.
“Let’s stick with Ryker.” My mouth opens to say more when our phones both go off at the same time with an emergency alert.
Finley removes her hand from mine to take out her phone as I do the same. Once we’ve both looked at the severe storm warning, our eyes meet, and the smiles on our faces are matching wide grins.
“Ready to try to make history again?”
She nods. “Lead the way.”