7. Allison
7
ALLISON
Everyone turns to look at me. I finish off my beer, and all I can think about is how I fucked up. I know I did. Kane has been nothing but nice to me, and I had to start making jokes about why he doesn't like women. I guess if something like that happened to him, there's no blame on him for feeling the way he does. I try to put myself in his shoes, and I know that I would be devastated to think that I had raised a child to two years old and then to find out that he wasn't my own. That would be devastating, for sure.
When I first saw Kane, I expected him to be a player, but I didn't expect this. I set down my empty beer bottle and follow the same path that Kane just walked. I go out the front doors and stop, looking side to side, but I don't see him. A man is standing by his bike close to the door. "Did you see Kane?” When he looks at me weird, I tell him, "I mean the pres?"
He tilts his head to the side and laughs. "Are you the reason he's cussing and stomping out here?"
I swallow deeply. "Yep."
He nods his head. "You may want to lay low for a little while, let him calm down. I'm sure he'll be fine and show back up."
With determination that I didn't expect, I answer him, "I can handle it. Which way did he go?"
He shrugs his shoulders, as if to say it's my funeral, and points at the bar next door. "Thank you," I tell him as I follow in that direction. As soon as I walk in the front door, I spot Kane sitting at the bar top throwing back a shot of some kind of dark whiskey or something.
Everyone stops and stares at me. I feel insecure, knowing that even though I'm no longer in my high heels, I don't really fit in here. I can feel a rush of heat to my face, and I point over at Kane and announce to the room, "I'm with him."
I don't wait for any of them to say anything. I take off walking and sit down next to him. He doesn't turn or even act like he knows I'm here, but I know he does.
"I'm sorry," I start.
He shakes his head and finally looks at me. "It's not your fault. Fuck, you've got a lot going on. I didn't need to throw my shit in the mix."
I cover his arm with my hand, and I can't help but think about the differences between us. His skin is tan and covered in dark ink; mine is pale, and my hand looks small in comparison. "Have you ever talked about this to anyone?"
He lets out a chuckle as if the thought is preposterous. "No, and please don't tell me that I need to."
"I'm not. I was just wondering why you told me."
He looks at me again, and his gaze is heated as he stares. "I don't know." I can tell that that answer bothers him. He doesn't seem the type to just open up to people.
There's so much that I want to say to him, but instead I turn to the bartender. "I'll have what he's having," I say, pointing at Kane.
The bartender looks at me in surprise. He puts one shot down in front of me, then another, then another.
"Really?" I ask with a laugh and look over at Kane.
He's chuckling. "Yeah, I had two before you got here."
I shake my head in disbelief. "There's no way that I can take three shots."
He tilts his head to the side. "I normally think that people shouldn't drink to mask their problems, but I'm thinking that you deserve it."
I let out a small noise. "Hell yeah, I do.”
I’m about to throw one back, but he puts his hand on my arm. “But three, I'll probably be carrying you out of here. How many of these do you want?"
"How about one and I might sip on the other?"
He grabs the third shot glass and brings it over to his side. "Fair enough. I'll take this one for you."
I laugh as he holds up the glass as if we're going to toast something. I hold my first one up to him. "What are we toasting?"
"New beginnings." As soon as he says it, there's a heat that goes through me. A part of me is scared, knowing that this is way too fast, but the other part of me feels that this is exactly what I need. I clink my glass to his. "To new beginnings."
I take a drink of the shot, and when I put it back down on the tabletop in front of us, he's watching me closely. I don't know what it is, but just being around Kane makes me feel braver than I've ever felt before, and it's a feeling that I'm not ready to let go of just yet.