White Room Virgin (Room #1)

16 - Jonah

16

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Jonah

I had never felt more out of place in my life. It wasn’t the leather jackets, studded belts, or the many tattoos that made me feel this way. It was my white sweater and brown tweed trousers that seemed entirely out of sync. I definitely didn’t belong in this place. We hadn’t even entered the club yet, but I was secretly hoping to be turned away at the entrance. However, the girl stamped my hand and winked at me. Martin pushed me through the dimly lit corridor into the basement. Smoke hung thickly in the air, music blared from speakers scattered around the space, and the band hadn’t even started playing yet.

“You remember Marco,” Martin said, stuffing my jacket into a corner with his.

I wasn’t sure and shook my head.

“The tall guy who looks like a wrestler plays the bass. They’re celebrating the release of their second album today.”

We grabbed a few beers at the bar and entered the vaulted cellar where the concert would take place. Surprisingly, the atmosphere was relaxed and casual. Despite a few irritated glances, no one seemed to mind my presence.

We had stopped right next to the doorway when Martin waved to someone at the bar. Steven, who seemed stoned as usual, waved back and then tugged on Lu’s coat. Lu stood with his back to us, putting his wallet away and handing Steven a beer. When he made a move to come over to us, Lu hesitated. He was in no hurry to follow Steven at all. His eyes darted in all directions, as if he were desperately looking for a reason to deviate from the path.

“Guys!” Steven shouted, clinking his plastic cup against mine so hard that my beer spilled over and ran down my hand. “What’s up? Happy birthday!”

Lucien stopped between Martin and Steven and congratulated me with a forced smile while toasting me from a safe distance. Surprisingly, I was grateful for his restraint; I couldn’t imagine how I would have reacted if he had hugged me to congratulate me.

He was insecure and didn’t know how to behave toward me. His moods changed like the weather. First, he’d been away for two weeks, and after I’d shown up at the studio, he started hanging around at home again and seemed quite normal, except for last night. After we’d had lunch together, he seemed balanced and content. But three hours later, he became a completely different person and completely out of it. As quickly as he packed his things, he fled from me.

And now he was standing here, forcing a smile for me. I just couldn’t figure him out.

“Dude,” Steven said, tugging on Lucien’s sleeve again. “Give me a cigarette.”

Lucien handed one to him, and Steven licked the cigarette, extinguishing the tobacco and making his way toward the exit. He would probably roll the joint outside first.

“I’ll be right back,” Martin said and disappeared too.

Great … that’s not part of the plan. I looked at Lucien with a puzzled expression.

“Have you ever been to a concert before?” he asked.

I frowned, surprised that he was the one trying to avoid an awkward silence, at least until I noticed the half-empty cup in his hand. He’s pounding it back very fast.

Is he nervous and trying to pick up where we left off yesterday lunchtime?

“No,” I replied. “At least not on one of those.”

“Well, let’s make it all the more fun then,” he said, patting me on the back. He managed to break the ice at least a little.

But it was only when Martin returned that I felt like a whole rock had been lifted from my shoulders. When Steven was back, I breathed a sigh of relief, because it made it easier for me not to stare at Lucien the whole time.

“Do you like rock music?” Steven asked me.

“I … um … I honestly don’t know,” I replied and looked to Lucien for the answer. What he listens to in the studio … isn’t that rock? Or metal? I had no idea. But Lucien had gone to the mixing desk unnoticed and was talking to the sound engineer.

“You’ve already met Marco. He’s the bass player,” Steven told me. “But they’ve got a new singer. His name is Noé or something. He’s definitely got an awesome voice.”

“Martin said this was a … release concert?”

“Yes, they re-recorded the vocal track with Noé. It was really worth it. Lu and I were at the warm-up concert in the rehearsal room. The guy’s got it.”

I just nodded, as I had no idea what that meant. Even if the guy was as good as Steven said, I had no comparison anyway. While I listened to Steven, Martin chatted with two girls and eventually led them over to us. Steven disappeared back outside, and I found myself next to the cute blonde. She was shorter than me and looked at me with adorable doe eyes.

I attempted to conceal it, but I felt somewhat overwhelmed by all the new impressions.

“Lu!” someone called out. It was Jessica, running toward him in black high heels and throwing herself at him.

Lucien stood motionless and didn’t even put his arms around her in greeting. But Jessica didn’t let that deter her. She put on her pretty smile and nudged him teasingly. I felt a little sorry for her. Even I could see that Lucien wasn’t interested in her. She tried hard to get his attention, but he didn’t appreciate it at all. Instead, he let his gaze wander around the room. Before our eyes met, I turned back to Martin and the two women.

The lights went out, and the distorted sound of an electric guitar resonated from the speakers. At the same time, all the spotlights turned to the stage and a slim singer with long brown hair and tattooed arms leaped in front of the microphone. Marco and three other musicians stood behind him. The band started like a thunderstorm—loud and fast and the audience jumped along from the first note.

“Come on!” Lucien shouted and grabbed my arm. “Let’s party!”

“Wait!” I shouted, startled, but it was already too late.

He dragged me into the crowd, leaving me with no choice but to jump up and down with him. Together, we bounced to the beat and held on to each other so that no one could fall over. Even before the second song came on, I was so carried away by the dynamic and joy that I didn’t want to stop. The exuberant atmosphere was like a release, and the thick air gave me more energy than the fresh mountain air at home ever had.

When the band exited the stage after the concert, I found myself drenched in sweat, sporting a few bruises, and filled with overwhelming joy.

Together with the two girls, we moved to the next bar and continued the party there. The blonde with the doe eyes—Daniela—sat next to me on the bench and talked about her German studies. She wasn’t stingy with her touches and moved closer to me. The attention she gave me made it impossible to keep the grin off my face. I was completely absorbed by her.

When I noticed Lucien slipping into his coat and putting on his scarf out of the corner of my eye, I was able to turn away for a moment. Martin stood next to him, nodded, and patted him on the shoulder to say goodbye.

“Where’s he going?” I asked once Lu left the bar.

“He’s leaving,” Martin replied and finished his glass.

“Just like that? Without saying goodbye?”

“That’s just Lu,” he explained dryly.

Lucien obviously didn’t think it was necessary to say goodbye to me, and I didn’t know whether I was offended or disappointed. Daniela rested her hand on my thigh and leaned in close to my ear. “Do you have a girlfriend?”

My heart jumped unexpectedly, and I shook my head.

“You could come to my place. I live just around the corner.”

This is it. My first chance to get a girlfriend.

The fact that I had no experience at all made me incredibly nervous. On the other hand, I was well aware that this was about to change and I grinned openly at Daniela.

“Enjoy it,” Martin said with a mischievous smile as I said goodbye.

As promising as the night had begun, it ended in disaster. After Daniela tried several times and in different ways to make my penis hard, I became so sick that I rushed to the toilet and vomited. While I leaned over the bowl, my thoughts turned to Lucien. To shake him off, I went back to Daniela and we tried again. But it was pointless.

“It’s not that bad. You just drank too much,” she said sympathetically.

I wanted to sink into the ground in shame because I wasn’t even in the condition to go home at that moment. At least it was easy for me to fall asleep.

When I said goodbye to Daniela on Sunday, she took my cell phone and typed in her number with a smile. “Maybe another time.”

“You don’t have to do that,” I mumbled ashamedly.

“But I’d love to see you again,” she said, sounding completely sincere. “So, call me!”

I went home with my head hanging low.