Who Pissed Off Ivy Dell? (Ivydell Book 3)

16. Petra

Petra

I don’t need another reminder that she’s Patty’s granddaughter, but if I did, these names she’s given my soap scents would solidify the fact. She gave the same scents more than one name, and I don’t even have to ask her why. I already know it’s so it looks like I have more variety available.

If you tell someone they’re smelling Mystic Mint, and then hand them another bar of the same scent but tell them it’s Mint Motivation, some people will detect something different and believe they are two distinct formulas. If they didn’t like the first one, they might like the second. Smart girl.

Patty never attached a name to her paintings, but she always had a few in mind for each piece. If someone asked if it had a name, she’d tell them the one she felt would resonate most. She didn’t do it to mislead anyone. She did it because she wanted people to feel connected to art. To each other. The world around them. Anytime she thought she could provide a connection, there was no stopping her from trying.

“I hope it’s okay that I gave them names.”

“You sneak up on people as well as your Gran, too.”

“You feel safe leaving your door wide open? You’re not worried about an animal coming in?”

“Never even thought about it.”

“I’m envious. I worry about everything.”

“I know you do.”

“Can I come in?”

“You never have to ask.”

“Why wouldn’t she come back, Petra? She hardly went a day without talking about this place. But she didn’t even tell us coming back was an option. Why?”

“She’d moved on, hon. She didn’t need Ivydell, anymore.”

“But she didn’t move on. She never found anyone else.”

“People can move on alone.”

“But we’re not supposed to be alone. We’re supposed to find our person.”

“I’d like to think she did. But her person just wasn’t ready for her. And she wasn’t really alone. She had you and your mom. And I’m sure she had friends.”

“She did. But I wish she could’ve found love outside of family and friends.”

“Again, I’d like to think she did.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to insinuate you didn’t love each other. It’s just that if she wasn’t going to come back here for you, why didn’t she try to find a new love?”

“I can’t answer that. Maybe she did try.”

“Did you?”

“I was here. Not a lot of options for me.”

“Why didn’t you come visit? Why didn’t you come after her?”

“I grew and changed, and I knew she did, too.”

“You’re giving me the old we loved each other but we weren’t in love, anymore reason?”

“It wouldn’t be such a well-known saying if it weren’t true for so many people.”

“I just hate thinking that she might’ve died unfulfilled.”

“Then stop thinking it. I told you I talked to her before she got too bad to speak.”

“Did you ask her why she didn’t come back?”

“No. That wasn’t the answer I needed. I asked her if she was at peace. She said she’d had a beautiful life.” I swipe at my eyes. “Thanked me for being a part of it. And before we hung up, she said, ‘Yes, Petra. I am at peace with everything.’”

“You believed her?”

“With all my heart.”

“I don’t know why I was so convinced there was some big secret I never knew about her life.”

I raise my eyebrows and stare at her.

Ivy laughs.

“She didn’t necessarily hide that she was a lesbian. I just didn’t see it.”

“Sometimes, when we lose someone, we fear that their life wasn’t big enough, that they missed out on too much. Maybe even start to think that we held them back. Her life was enough, Ivy. She was fulfilled. Are you?”

“No. And I don’t think I knew that until I came here.”

“That’s an important realization. I’m glad you get to take that back with you. We can’t fix a problem until we know about it.”

“What if I don’t know how to be fulfilled?”

“What if you stopped worrying about that and followed your heart?”

“You mean Jensen?”

“If that works out, it’ll fulfill a part of your life. But I meant you. What’s in your heart for you?”

“That question scares the shit out of me because I’ve been feeling a strong desire to upend my whole life. Quit my job. Take big risks. And I’m not a big risktaker.”

“You haven’t been a big risktaker. But what I’m hearing is you might be becoming more of one.”

“I think you’re supposed to tell me not to quit my job. Remind me about health insurance and paid sick days.”

“Do I look like someone who has ever had a paid sick day in her life?”

She laughs, and even if my advice is terrible, I’m going to let myself believe I said something right, because the sorrow that veiled her eyes when she walked in has lifted.

“So, do you have something fun planned for you and Zara today?”

“Dice stole her from me at eight a.m.!”

I belly laugh at her incensed response. I’m sure Dice has his own motives, but I think he may have been trying to free Ivy up for Stinger, too. “Well, damn. I guess Ivydell is determined to work a little more magic before we shut her down.”