9. Kieran
9
Kieran
Matt plugs the USB into the laptop we bought when we were shopping. It’s a good thing I had some money lying around because new devices always take a while to get tapped, so it was really a no-brainer.
The laptop loads up a folder full of files with gibberish names. They contain numbers too, but as far as I can tell after staring at them for a good minute, there is no discernible pattern to them.
“I don’t think it’s a coincidence,” Matt says, opening the first file. It has rows and rows of numbers grouped in pairs. I’m pretty sure they are coordinates. “That your parents and my aunt and uncle were involved with this Molniya mission and died under mysterious circumstances. But… if they were killed, why would the CIA lie about it?”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to figure out. You are my only real lead so far.”
He nods slowly as if he is turning that information over in his head, and opens the second file. This one contains a continuous sequence of letters, symbols and numbers. I can’t begin to guess what they might mean. It could be a code or some kind of an access key.
“Do you think that maybe the people who attacked me are responsible for what happened to your folks?”
I nod, closing the letters file and pointing at the third one. “I don’t know, but it’s a valid assumption and a good place to start.”
This one is made up of more coordinates. So are the remaining seven. By rough estimation, there are more than a thousand pairs altogether. On their own like this, they tell me nothing, but if I could visualize them somehow so I could see the bigger picture…
I nudge Matt until he’s scooted over so I don’t have to hover behind the couch. The space is just about big enough for both of us, but our arms and thighs end up plastered together. I try not to focus too much on that, or on the little zaps that dance along the areas where we touch. It’s like I’ve been gently electrocuted and… I kind of like it.
No, no, no. Don’t get confused, Kieran. It’s because you didn’t sleep. It always makes you jumpy.
I push down a delightful shiver when Matt moves and his thigh sort of rubs off mine, reminding me of other places of ours rubbing together .
Jesus. Yep, not enough sleep. That’s gotta be it. I get a bit hyper and a bit weird when I haven’t had sufficient rest.
“What do you think is this device they are after? I thought it was the USB itself, but it doesn’t look like that’s the case anymore,” Matt comments as I take over the laptop and download the secure chat app that I use to contact various techy friends. Ambrose is online, so I shoot her a message. “Also, what are you doing?”
Ambrose responds almost immediately, asking me what I need help with. Out of all my contacts, she’s the most direct. Her small talk is practically nonexistent, and she doesn’t seem to care about conforming to society’s expectations. To some people, this might come across as her being rude and awkward, but I respect her decision to be herself and not give a fuck. That’s not to say she’s an asshole; she just doesn’t beat around the bush just because you might get offended. It might be a bit intense until you get used to it, but once you do, it makes getting shit done so much easier.
“We have a ton of coordinates, but looking them up one by one will take ages. I have a friend who can help speed things up,” I explain at the same time I type my request to Ambrose.
“Oh.” Matt leans in, squinting at the screen. His hair smells like the rainforest shampoo the house is stocked with. “So, this Ambrose person is like a hacker? That’s so fucking cool. I wanted to be one when I was younger.”
I push down a snort. Of course he did.
“So why aren’t you?” I ask as my computer genius friend informs me it will take her five to ten minutes to put together a program that can integrate with online maps so I can see all the coordinates at the same time.
Matt’s eyes meet mine. They shimmer with something that could be amusement or shyness or both. “I wasn’t very good at coding. Or math.”
“So, you picked business ?”
He rolls those expressive greens. “It’s not so bad. Plus, it requires a different part of the brain, okay?” Right. I’m not so sure about that, but what do I know? “Uh, on that note. How long do you think it will take the CIA to catch the bad guys? I kind of have lectures I need to go to.”
Great question. I fish my work phone out of my pocket and shoot Agent Kelly a message via the encrypted CIA chat app. He’s technically been the Director of IRIS for over a year now, but back when I joined the CIA, he was a senior agent, so Agent Kelly kind of stuck with me.
“I don’t know. But I’ve informed my supervisor about your circumstances. He’ll make arrangements so you are allowed to attend your classes and exams remotely.”
“My exams, too? This sounds… serious,” he mutters, expression clouding.
“It is. This is not a joke, Matt. You are in real danger.”
“I… I really could’ve died that night, huh… I—”
He lets out a shuddering exhale, his entire body tensing. My heart jumpstarts into a mad dash. I clench my hands into fists as the urge to wrap him in my arms barrels through me. He’s alone with nowhere to go and no one to talk to. He was plucked out of his normal life without any warning and now he has no choice but to get used to this new reality where he can’t even go out without an agent accompanying him.
It must be a nightmare. It’s unfair. It sucks. I know that firsthand. But he has me. I know we don’t really trust each other yet, but we are together in this. He’s not completely alone like I was. I am no longer alone either . It’s crazy, this whole thing, the pinnacle of unprofessional, too. Or maybe I’m the crazy one, for allowing it to get to this. But even if I was given the choice of a do-over, I wouldn’t do anything differently.
Because this is where I’m supposed to be. It feels right. The intensity of it scares me, but I also welcome it. I have no logical reason for trusting Matt. He knows even less than I do. But life brought us together when I was so close to giving up. He is my lifeline, my beacon in the darkness, the way out of the dead-ends and never-ending circles I’ve been stuck in for years. I just know it, deep in my heart. Matt is my guide, the light at the end of the tunnel, an ally I didn’t know that I needed. We share the same goal, possibly the same enemy, too. Our interests align. We are a team now, two shadows lurking about until the time to act comes.
That urge, that need, to hold him close is too strong. I’ve never felt this way, so powerless to control my emotions and state. It’s like there is a beast rampaging inside me, howling and clawing and demanding I surrender to it. It pinches my airways, it cages my heart, it twists my insides. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what is happening to me. But I just can’t take this anymore. Something in me snapped or clicked into place because of this man, and I simply can’t fight it.
So I give in, pulling Matt close. He yelps, but comes willingly, clutching to me with both hands as he buries his nose in my chest and breathes me in. The hairs on the back of my neck rise. Hot and cold assault my core, flooding my stomach until it’s flipping upside down and sending even more heat throughout me.
“I’ve got you,” I whisper into his hair, inhaling his scent. It soothes something primal inside me, just like holding him does. He’s so small and fits perfectly in my arms, like he’s made to be held by me. “You are safe with me, and we will get to the bottom of this. Together .”
I say this both for him and myself. It’s a reassurance, a promise. A vow. It’s just… Fuck , it’s been so long since I had someone to talk to. To really talk to, without lying about what I am doing. He’s the first person in years, and he’s willing to help me. He’s not here just to listen to me, but to help me solve the mystery that’s been consuming my life since the day my parents died.
I am not alone anymore.
Maybe that’s why it hits so hard. Why I am acting so out of character, why I am willing to bet so much on this man being the key to everything.
Am I delusional? Is it all just a coincidence? Or is there more to Molniya than it appears like I have suspected from the very start?
There’s really only one way to find out.
“Uh, Kieran?” Matt mumbles, his voice muffled against my rapidly beating heart as he settles more comfortably on my lap. Can he feel it? Or does it get lost in the frantic sprint of his own equally agitated one?
The way we met sucks. The loss he had to suffer sucks. Being in danger sucks. All of it. But even so, I’m so fucking glad I have him. Is that selfish? So be it.
“Yes?” I close my eyes and slide my free hand up his back, massaging gentle circles into his tense muscles. Now that I know what it feels to have him molded to me, it’s kind of trippy how perfectly we slot together.
He shivers, making some sort of a whiny-moany noise. Something hard pokes me in the stomach, sending pulsating heat right to my cock.
Holy fuck. What the hell is this?
“Too tight,” he says, wiggling his shoulders. “You are holding me too tight. It’s making it hard to breathe.”
Breathing isn’t the only thing that’s being made hard.
Alarm and confusion surge through me. I shove him away, panting like I’ve run a marathon. I’ve lost it. The way I’m reacting to him, the things that I’m thinking. “Sorry. I—”
He smiles. A mischievous gleam makes his eyes sparkle. “No. I was being weird. But you are a great hugger. Thanks… I think I really needed this.” His shoulders sag as he settles back into his side of the couch, but his gaze doesn’t leave me. “Would now be an appropriate time to ask if you’d be interested in another cock-rubbing session? For research purposes.” He bites on his lip, leaving it damp. “You’re so big and strong and you were really into hugging me just now. I kind of got horny.”
Shit. I didn’t imagine it. He got it up just from hugging… What, is he a pre-teen?
I shift in my seat very discreetly.
Look who’s talking after popping one himself.
It was an accident!
Oh, yeah? Like earlier? Careful there, stallion. Third time’s the charm. And it also makes it a pattern.
This is so not the time for this!
I clear my throat and thoughts, kicking Matt’s leg gently just as a notification from Ambrose pings on the laptop. “Dumbass. Way to ruin our bonding moment,” I tease, focusing on the chat window. We’ll figure out the coordinates first and then deal with the coded file.
Matt scurries closer again until his thigh is glued to mine. It crosses my mind to move over to my side a little bit more, but I sort of like being able to feel the solidity of him next to me. It’s because it helps my brain know that he is safe, nothing more.
“Is this what we are calling it? Bonding moments? Okay then. When can you book me in for another one?” He giggles, entertained by his own joke. “Your friend is ready, then?”
I click on the executable file she sent. “Yep. Let’s see what our coordinates point at.”
The program runs a bunch of commands and then a small window appears. It asks me to input the paths of the files containing the coordinates. After I do that, a loading bar appears. Once it reaches 100%, a launch button replaces it, which, upon clicking, opens the internet browser’s default map app.
It takes about three minutes for all the coordinate pins to pop up. They span the entirety of the US. Some of them point to remote locations while others are smack right in the middle of busy cities. Just in New York, there are at least a hundred.
“Okay… that is a lot,” Matt says. He sounds a little overwhelmed and I can’t blame him.
I squeeze his thigh. “Don’t worry. We’ll figure it out. Do you recognize any of these places?”
He squints, scanning the pins. He also takes the laptop in his lap, so it’s my turn to lean slightly into him so I can see the screen. His long fingers tap the touchpad softly, taking us from the top of the west coast through the Midwest, the south, and finally to the east coast and New York.
“I mean. Some of them. I know what the Golden Gate Bridge is, obviously. And Griffith Observatory. And that’s Roswell?” He points at one of the pins in New Mexico. “You know, where aliens crash-landed. I’ve always wanted to visit and see them.”
I taste the smile before it makes it to my face. “You know that’s all fake, right? There are no aliens.”
He whips his head to the left, almost headbutting me in the chin. His eyes are narrowed and he’s pouting. “Excuse you, have you ever been there? You do know Area 51 exists, right? It’s where the evidence was hidden to make it all seem fake.”
Uh-oh. I think I got me an alien enthusiast. Why am I not surprised?
“I’m pretty sure Area 51 is in Nevada, not New Mexico,” I point out since I am kind of enjoying his little tantrum. It’s cute.
He blows air out of his nose. “That’s not important! The Army just flew the aliens there, who cares? You don’t seriously buy the bullshit about weather balloons and stuff after all those cows got bled out, do you? Plus, there have been so many sightings.” I open my mouth to argue that point, but he halts me by smacking his index finger against my lips. “Nuh-uh. I know exactly what you’ll say. Oh, but Matty, they could be fake. Photoshop exists and shit ”, he says, mimicking my voice and the way I speak. “Yes, but some of these are like super old. Pre-Photoshop era. And the metadata has been checked and confirmed to be authentic. It’s not been tampered with. So they are 100% real. It’s just that our shitty government doesn’t want us to know.”
I nod. “And why wouldn’t they want us to know that aliens exist?” Aside from the obvious, of course, like mass panic, maybe civil unrest. Or that’s what most experts think might happen if something like this were revealed to be true.
“Pff. Obviously because there is stuff going on behind the scenes. Like, very very suspicious stuff.”
“Or… It’s as they say and there are no aliens. The UFO-s are just that—flying phenomenon they can’t quite explain, not alien tic tacs performing aerial acrobatics.”
He grins. “Shit. You watched that video then? It was soo creepy. I bet they only declassified it in order to distract the public from the real issue. Aliens are already here and those who run the world don’t want us to know!”
I rub my forehead. It’s been throbbing a little for the past five minutes. How did this turn from us trying to figure out what the mysterious coordinates are into a lecture about whether the US government is hiding the existence of aliens from the public?
But I’m sort of curious where this would lead. Or whether he used to own one of those aluminum hats to help stop evil aliens’ brainwashing waves. I reckon a discussion about both of those can wait until later, though.
“This is all super exciting, Alex Jones, but we’ve got work to do. Aliens and conspiracy theories can wait until dinner.”
Matt looks very confused for a few moments, like he’s completely forgotten what we were doing before he got so fired up about Roswell. He bunches his eyebrows together, then unbunches them, looking from the laptop to me. “Right. Sorry. I got carried away.”
Ok, so , I’ve never found other guys adorable. Or cute. But this 5’5” smartass kind of fits the bill. In a silly, but charming way. And those eyes that so effortlessly remind me of the ocean back home? I bet they can spellbind anyone if he so wished. Just not me. I’m immune to them. Mostly.
We get back on track. He keeps naming popular landmarks and sights. There is no real logic to any of it, including both the popular places and those neither of us knows. By the time we get to New York, frustration has started to creep into hi voice. This might be another dead end. We’ve been at it for an hour and still have zero ideas.
We are in over our heads. Unlike the CIA and its resources and cryptography specialists, we can only rely on ourselves. I’m too paranoid to risk asking Ambrose or one of my other buddies for help with anything specific. Plus, I don’t want to get them in trouble if this gets out of hand. Matt volunteered, so that’s different, but getting people involved when I don’t even know exactly what I am dealing with is not how I roll.
“You look like a seagull stole your sandwich,” Matt says, dragging me out of my thoughts.
“ What ?”
He raises his shoulders, then shoves his thumb between my eyebrows and rubs the area. “You’re scowling. A lot. It’s a little funny.”
I grab his wrist and tuck his hand against my chest. “I’m just… This is harder than I thought. And we don’t exactly have time to get stuck or the CIA will figure this out before we do.”
“Well, it’s a good thing that I just did then, isn’t it?”
My eyes go wide. A thrill of excitement shakes me to my very core. “You did?”
A slow smile curves his lips. My attention narrows down to them and then to the beauty mark on the left just above them. It suits him, giving his already delicate features a hint of elegance. Of charm.
“Yes, sort of, I think so?” He zooms in on one of the pins. It points to an area of houses near Vinmont Veteran Park in Riverdale. “Chrissy used to tell me about her friend, a Polish woman. Her name was Lena. Apparently, she used to ride with my parents. We never visited her though. Chrissy would always find some excuse whenever I asked to, so eventually I stopped.”
“She lives in Riverdale?”
“Yeah. Near that park.”
“You think she might be able to help us with this?” I tilt my head at the screen full of red pins, hope blooming in my chest.
“This? Nah. But it’s the only set of coordinates that has any personal meaning to me. So I think Riverdale is where we should start looking.”
He’s right. It’s better than shooting blindly. “I guess we are going on a little trip first thing tomorrow, then.”