21. Matthew
21
Matthew
Have you ever been in a car chase? Me neither.
Until today, that is.
It’s scary as fuck. It feels like the entirety of New York is out to get us as we race down West Side. The only thing that stands between us and whatever torture the CIA has in store for us are Kieran’s driving skills.
It’s a good thing he’s an amazing driver then. The part where he’s grinning like the antagonist of an action movie is a little worrying, but I hold onto the seatbelt and tell myself it’s just because he’s so into it. I’m the crazy one, not him.
“Go across the river,” Adrian instructs from the backseat, cursing at something on his phone. “Through Hoboken. Get on the I-80. Do you think you can lose them?”
Kieran’s smirk grows. “I-80, you said? Hell yeah, I can lose them. Just tell me where we are going!”
“I have a place just off Hazleton. If you can make it there without them busting us, we might stand a chance.”
Things get even crazier when we leave New York. We almost don’t make it because of a blockade, but the police don’t manage to set it up in time, so we squeeze past and speed away like our asses are on fire. Mine sort of is—for different reasons though, and I’d like to keep it that way—but I’d lie if I pretended I wasn’t also having a bit of fun. I mean, I don’t recommend getting chased down by the authority, but there is something exhilarating about it, too.
It’s freeing and empowering. We are outlaws. Rebels. Visionaries. The bad guys who are actually the good guys. Saying fuck you to the rules has always been one of my guilty pleasures and this is next level.
We take a scenic route, dipping in and out of the I-80 by means of local roads. It’s not long until we’ve lost our tail of police and CIA cars. They should’ve sent out a helicopter too, but I think they were too slow to realize how mad Kieran is when it comes to driving. He should’ve been a racer—he’d have wiped the floor with all the other competitors.
“So, what is your relationship with Christine?” Kieran asks, glancing at the rearview mirror.
I do the same. There is no one behind us. I’m pretty sure we lost our pursuers back at Allentown, when we took a detour. Which means we should be safe, for now.
“She reached out to me,” Adrian says. “She had… information I needed. In exchange for helping her, she’d tell me what I needed to know.”
“What did she need help with?” I rush out, my hackles rising. “What was she doing exactly? What is that formula? Why does the CIA want it so badly?” A lump forms in my throat, making my voice shaky. “Did they… Did the government really go after Chrissy?”
Adrian’s eyebrows slant. He gazes out the window where patches of green blur past us. “I don’t know all the details, but the formula has to do with this drug the Crew got into recently. It’s really addictive and the side-effects are nasty. But there was something wrong with it. I think it wasn’t doing what it was supposed to do.”
“And what is that?” Kieran tosses in. His eyes are on the road, focused and determined. “Where to in Hazleton?”
“North side of Black Creek. There is a dirt road, goes into the woods. It splits by the cliffs. You want to go left there,” Adrian instructs, his eyes still locked on the dreary scenery. “I don’t know what the drug was exactly supposed to do. I wasn’t told. But that guy… Bucks? I overheard him talking about how the brain of the control group wasn’t responding fully. The people weren’t doing what they were supposed to. Those were his words. It’s how they knew the drug wasn’t fully working. If I had to guess”—he finally looks at me—“it’s some kind of a biological weapon.”
I squeeze the backpack, overly conscious of the data chip inside it. My stomach churns. “ Jesus .”
We drive for a while in heavy silence. This is no joke. I knew it from the start, but now it finally feels real.
The scenery outside changes from roads and houses to trees and the occasional field. Spring is coming, but it’s not quite here yet and so the result is simply depressing. The ride gets bumpier by the second as we head deeper into the forested area. We pass by the occasional house and driveway, but even so it feels like we’ve left civilization behind.
When we eventually reach our destination, a driveway leads to a rustic wooden cabin that’s seen better days. It’s tucked between two huge pines. Needles cover the patio, where a table and a swing wait covered in dust.
“That drug… I don’t know if the CIA developed it or not, but it ended up in Chrissy’s possession,” Adrian volunteers, his fingers tapping against his thigh. He gives me a pointed look. “No one is supposed to know that. She said her sister got killed because of it. Still, she planned to expose the whole thing—that’s why she needed my help.”
My mind swims and I can hardly breathe. “Her sister was killed because of this?”
This can’t be. I thought mom died together with dad in an accident… Why is Adrian saying she was killed?
“The husband, too. And another couple. They were working together on some secret mission. It was all made to look like an accident. That couple had a kid, about the same age as her sister’s. Chrissy was heartbroken that she couldn’t take the boy in. She talked about him a lot and how dangerous it would’ve been for both of them if she stepped in. Apparently, he almost got killed by the people who murdered his parents.”
No way. Mom and dad were involved with Molniya too? Like Chrissy and Kieran’s parents? This is—
Kieran hits the breaks. The car screeches to a stop, rocking us forward violently. He’s heaving, eyes unfocused and nostrils flared. Shit . I think he’s having a panic attack.
Scrambling to get the seatbelt unfastened, I reach for him and gather him in my arms as best as the space allows for. He’s trembling, his entire body shaking. It reminds me of that night when he had a nightmare.
Realization punches me in the gut. Was this the reason? Is Kieran the boy that Adrian is talking about? Fuck, everything lines up if I think about it. Chrissy rarely ever spoke of my parents’ accident. She’d close in on herself if I asked, so I almost never brought it up.
I squeeze Kieran tighter, burying my nose in his hair. “Everything will be fine, Ki. We’re in this together. You aren’t alone anymore.”
My voice comes out croaky and hoarse. Nothing makes sense anymore, but at the same time things finally kind of click into place. Kieran and my parents were working on the same mission. They really did figure out what was happening the same way we did and wanted to expose it. So, the CIA got rid of them. Kieran’s suspicions were right. They were killed by the people they worked for. I do remember Chrissy being around more while my parents were alive, so I guess she only got involved with Molniya later on.
I stroke Kieran’s back, absorbing the shivers still racking through him. My heart cries. For me and for him. We were both robbed of our parents just because they were doing their jobs. Just because they didn’t want to look the other way.
I’m angry. I’m so angry. But I reel it in. Kieran needs me. I have to keep my shit together for him, so that I can become his rock. His pillar. His beacon.
For a while, I just hold him, whispering assurances and kissing his head. We won’t die. We’ll come out on top, even if it means we go full villain mode. He calms down slowly, his eyes red-rimmed and raw when they finally look up at me.
“Sorry, I…” He clears his throat. “I’m fine now. Thank you.”
I squeeze his fingers, then bring them to my lips for a quick kiss. “Anytime.”
We climb out of the car and follow Adrian the last fifty feet to the cabin’s door. He produces a key from a hidden compartment behind the bell, letting us in. It’s dusty and cold inside. Gloom reigns even though the curtains are open.
“I’ll get the generator going.” Adrian hooks a finger over his shoulder. “And chop some wood. There should be non-perishables in the cupboards under the sink.”
“I can help with the wood,” Kieran volunteers, clenching his hands into fists.
“Sure. There is a shed out back. You’ll find what you need there.”
I hug myself, the house suddenly too vast and imposing. “I’ll tag along, too.”
Regret fills Adrian’s eyes as he pauses at the door and gives me a nod. “I’m sorry. About Chrissy.”
I swallow around the heaviness in my throat. “So… Was it the CIA that attacked us that night?”
“Yes. Chrissy suspected she was being watched. It’s why she was supposed to lie low for a while, but I guess they found out she had the formula and intended to expose everything. So, they… took care of that problem.” He sighs. It’s deep and laced with sadness. Whatever the exact nature of his relationship to Chrissy was, they were close. Maybe even friends. “You have to understand, Matthew. This is huge. Bigger than anything you’ve ever been up against. It’s not just the CIA. The… government is involved, too. They are the ones driving it, but I am certain there are other countries backing them up. I did some digging for Chrissy and… it goes deep. Really deep. I suspect this drug thing is us only scratching the surface. And now they know we have what they want, so it’s only a matter of time before we are dead men.”
We’ll be collateral. Sacrifices that need to be made so those pulling the strings can achieve their goal. It’s business as usual for them; the regular folk can get fucked without lube.
Except that Matthew Bauer doesn’t get fucked with no lube. I like to have my asshole thoroughly and diligently prepared before sex. They are messing with the wrong guy. Dying just doesn’t cut it for me.
Adrian flashes me a commiserating smile and exits the cabin. I trace the nearby window with my fingers, leaving a trail along the condensation that’s forming on the glass.
“Do you think Bucks is the one who ordered my aunt killed?” I toss at Kieran, who’s still hovering around.
“I don’t know, moonbeam,” he says regretfully. But at least his voice has regained some of that charming energy it carries. “But if I had to guess, I’d bet money on him. One of his agents finding out something she wasn’t supposed to? The higher-ups would be up his ass about getting his mess under control.”
I grind my teeth so hard my head begins to throb. Kieran is right. But even if somehow Bucks wasn’t directly involved, he’s still responsible. He gave the okay. He allowed my aunt to die, maybe my parents and Kieran’s, too.
And he needs to pay for that.