Why Not Forever? (The Blue Vista Crew #4)

1. Prologue

Prologue

Vic – 7 years ago

I wake to light kisses peppering my face. I smile, then laugh as he continues, finally pushing him away as I blink my eyes open. Tanner is right there, his deep brown eyes sparkling with happiness behind his glasses.

“Good morning, sunshine,” he says.

“You’re so annoying,” I say, but my smile tells him I’m lying.

Tanner grins down at me. “Yes,” he says, kissing me again. “But you love it.”

It took me two years to get here. I’m not the fastest to open up, especially not with men. And while I’ve said his charm and over-the-top flirting have been annoying, we both know how much I actually enjoy it. We’d gone to a graduation party last night, gotten a little drunk, and Tanner had cornered me. “I have a confession,” he’d said. “I’ve liked you since the moment we met, and I need you to know, before we move on with our lives and never see each other again.” He’d looked so nervous, but he’d continued anyway. “Is it possible that you feel the same way?”

I hadn’t answered. Instead, I’d kissed him, and we’d ended up back here, in my bed.

“I made you something.” He holds up a white paper rose on a green pipe cleaner.

I laugh again as I take it. “You had a pipe cleaner and paper with you?”

“Yes. I’m going to visit Juliet today. Which is why I woke you. I have to leave. I promised to take her to brunch.”

Juliet is Tanner’s nine-year-old niece. He currently has ten nieces and nephews. It’s still difficult keeping them all straight. Now that I’ve finally decided to give this a shot, I’ll have more opportunity to remember who is who. I might get him to draw me a chart.

“You could come if you want,” he says.

I shake my head. “You go. This is your special thing with her. Maybe I’ll come next time.”

He trails his finger along the side of my cheek. “Can I take you out tonight? On a date, I mean. I want to take you on a date.”

I spin the paper rose between my fingers.

“You can take me on a date,” I say.

“One condition,” he says. “I want you to tell Spencer about us.”

I sigh, sliding away from him to get out of bed, ignoring my nudity. Tanner wouldn’t be the first person to be jealous of my relationship with Spencer. “There’s nothing going on between us.”

He catches my wrist before I can stand. I turn to meet his eyes.

“That’s not why I want you to tell him,” he says.

“Why then? Why does it matter who knows?”

“I don’t care about anyone else. But Spencer is your best friend. You tell him everything. He was the first person you told about being bi.”

I blink. “How do you know that?”

He looks at me like that’s a stupid question. I guess it is. Spencer and I have been friends since we were five years old. Who else would I have told first about my sexuality?

“I want you to tell him we’re dating. Because if you do, I’ll know it’s real to you.” He cups my face, drawing me closer. “Because it is very real to me.”

His lips meet mine in a sweet kiss. I move closer, wrapping my arms around his neck, pulling him over me as I lay back on the bed. The kiss turns hot and his hand travels along my naked skin, lingering on my hip as we make out like teenagers.

Eventually, he groans. “Vic,” he says, drawing out the vowel. “I have to go.”

“Go then,” I say. “I’m not stopping you.”

He kisses me once more before lifting himself onto his arms, creating distance between his clothed body and my naked one.

“You are exquisite. If I had plans with anyone other than my niece, I’d tell them I came down with something and stay right here with you.”

“But you can’t maintain favourite uncle status if you cancel on her,” I point out.

“True.” He stands, buttoning the top three buttons of his shirt again. Had I done that? “I’ll see you tonight. Wear something sexy for me?” He winks.

“Maybe. Or maybe I’ll wear sweats and the t-shirt I wear on laundry day.”

“Perfect.”

I get up, slip on some pyjamas and my robe, and follow him to the front door, bringing the paper rose with me.

“Don’t throw that away, now,” he says, pointing at the flower. “I made that for you.”

I roll my eyes. “I won’t throw it out.” I take it to my china cabinet and find a small vase, placing it inside and back on the cabinet. “Happy?”

He grins. “More than you can possibly imagine.”

He pulls me to him, kissing me again before saying goodbye and heading out.

A few minutes later, Spencer’s bedroom door opens.

“Was that Tanner I heard?” he asks, scratching his messy blond hair before padding into the kitchen on bare feet. I sit at the counter, watching through the pass-through as he pours coffee. “Who made this?”

“I guess Tanner did,” I say. “He stayed here last night.”

The only reaction I get is a quick look before he focuses again on pouring coffee.

“About fucking time.”

“Excuse me?”

He turns to me with an exasperated expression. “Vic. I love you. You are my best friend. But you are really stupid sometimes. You’ve liked that man for the last couple years.”

“I have not,” I exclaim.

Spencer sets a cup with a pink, purple, and blue triceratops on it in front of me. The coffee has a splash of milk. He leans a hip on the counter, holding his own mug and watching me with patience.

If anyone in the world would have guessed that I secretly liked Tanner, it would have been Spencer.

“Fine. You’re right.”

He just smiles and drinks his coffee. My phone rings, cutting off the conversation. My dad’s face flashes across my screen; the picture is the one he uses on the website of our company. I pick up the phone with excitement thrumming through me. I’ve finished my MBA. The interview process with the rest of the applicants at Sterling Properties is well underway. The last thing I’ve been waiting for is this call, when my dad tells me my start date.

“Hey Dad,” I answer, putting it on speakerphone so Spencer can listen, too.

“Victoria. I want to ask you about a few of the students in your class. They’ve applied for jobs here at Sterling, and I want your opinion of them.”

I blink. “Oh. Okay. I can do that, I guess.”

We go through a list of three people and I tell him what I think about all of them. One of them is Tanner. When we’re done talking, he hums, considering my information.

“This all lines up with the impressions of our hiring team,” he says eventually. “I’ll let them know, but it sounds like we’ve found our candidate.”

My eyes meet Spencer’s, my heart racing. There is only one position open at Sterling. I’d gone through the hiring process—like everyone else—but I’d assumed it was a formality. I never expected I wouldn’t be chosen for the job.

“Are those the only three candidates?” I ask, thoughts swirling around my head, insecurities nipping at me, telling me I’m not good enough to be part of Sterling. That I’ll never be good enough.

“This is our short list, yes. Now that we’ve spoken, I think we all know who’s getting the job. You’re sure this Tanner Marcus is the best of the three?”

Spencer shakes his head. I don’t know what he sees in my face, but he knows what I’m thinking.

My father is going to hire Tanner. He’s going to hire the man I slept with instead of me, the man I’m in l— I cut the thought off before it completes in my head.

I hadn’t even known Tanner applied at Sterling. How can I possibly keep seeing him when he has the job that should be mine? Regardless of how much I like him, seeing him again will remind me of my latest failure to gain my father’s approval.

“Tanner is great, Dad,” I say, because even though it hurts, I won’t lie, and I won’t cost Tanner this opportunity. “Listen, I’ve gotta go. I’ll talk to you later.”

I hang up before he can say goodbye, not wanting him to hear the anger I’ve used to cover up the hurt that’s flowing through me right now. I stand, turning toward my bedroom since I don’t want to accidentally direct it at Spencer, but he follows me.

“Don’t do this, Vic. Don’t throw it away because of your dad. You like him. He likes you. I think you’ll be good for each other.”

Normally, that would be a ringing endorsement. Spencer is an excellent judge of character, and I’ve learned to trust his instincts over the years. But there’s all this anger burning me up inside, so I summon all the haughty disdain I can muster.

“It was one night. It didn’t mean anything.”

“You’re lying.”

I pause with my hand on the doorknob to my bedroom and turn to face him. “Maybe. But he stole my job. That position was supposed to be mine.”

“He didn’t steal anything. Your dad could have hired you over him. Fuck, Vic, he could have hired you both. He’s the one—”

“This is all easy for you to say. You hate your father. When was the last time you spoke to him?”

Spencer flinches, and I regret the words immediately. We’ve known each other practically all our lives and know exactly which buttons to push for maximum damage. Spencer doesn’t hate his father, but he has cut him out of his life.

When he meets my eyes again, it’s with the patience only my oldest and best friend can offer me.

“I’m going to forgive you for that low blow, Vic, and walk away before either of us says something we can’t take back. But I think you’re making a mistake. Tanner is not the one you should be mad at and you know it.”

Then he turns and takes his coffee to his bedroom.

I let myself into mine and lean my back against the door. The thing is, in this situation, I have to hate Tanner. Because if I don’t, that means I have to hate my dad. And I’m not ready to do that right now.