40. Forty Lakey
Forty: Lakey
T ap, tap, tap. My fingers danced across the kitchen table like they had a mind of their own, desperate to escape the shit show brewing in my head. I glared at the stack of files in front of me, wishing I could set the whole damn pile on fire with my mind. Wouldn't that be a neat trick?
"Just do it, Lakey," I muttered to myself. "It's only hypnotherapy. What's the worst that could happen?"
Oh, I don't know. Maybe unlocking a Pandora's box of fucked-up memories better left buried? Reliving every excruciating detail of whatever those Chimera bastards did to me? No thanks.
But then again, ignorance wasn't exactly bliss in this case. Those blank spots in my memory itched like a scab I couldn't stop picking at. What if the key to taking down Chimera was hidden somewhere in that darkness.
I tapped the outline of Cam's initials on my wrist, the familiar curves of the tattoo soothing my frayed nerves. What would he do? Probably tell me to woman up and face my demons head-on. Easy for him to say. He won’t be the one allowing someone to fuck with his brain.
The soft padding of footsteps pulled me out of my spiraling thoughts. Sarah glided into the kitchen, all serene smiles and calming energy. Damn her and her zen bullshit.
"How are you feeling, Lakey?" she asked, sliding into the chair across from me.
I plastered on my sweetest smile. "Well, I’m alive. Nothing like the threat of mind-fuckery to brighten up a girl's day."
Sarah didn't even flinch at my venom. "I understand your hesitation. Hypnotherapy can be intimidating, but it's actually quite gentle."
I snorted. "Right. Because poking around in the cesspool of my subconscious is just like a fucking walk in the park."
"It's more like... guided meditation," Sarah explained, her voice soft but firm. "You're always in control. We're just creating a relaxed state where memories might surface more easily."
Part of me wanted to believe her. To think that maybe I could face whatever horrors were lurking in those blank spaces without completely losing my shit. But the cynical, battle-scarred part of me wasn't buying it.
"And what if I don't like what I find?" I asked, hating how small my voice sounded. "What if it's worse than not knowing?"
Sarah's eyes met mine, filled with a compassion I both craved and despised. "Then we face it together. You're not alone in this, Lakey. Rose has done a couple sessions since we’ve been back, and she says she’s feeling more free. I just thought it might work for you. That’s all. Nothing sinister. I promise."
I looked away, focusing on a crack in the kitchen tile. It was tempting, the idea of finally having answers. Of arming myself with the truth, no matter how ugly. But fuck, I was scared. Not that I'd ever admit that out loud.
"I'll think about it," I mumbled, my fingers absently tracing the scars on my arms. Each one a reminder of what I'd survived. Maybe it was time to add one more battle to the list.
Just then, Rose sauntered into the kitchen, her lips curled into that infuriatingly sweet smile of hers. Great, another cheerleader for team "let's fuck with Lakey's brain."
"Hey there, Lakes," she said, sliding into the chair next to me. "Heard we're talking about hypnotherapy."
I rolled my eyes. "Jesus, does everyone know about this little pow-wow?"
Rose ignored my snark, her gaze softening. "I actually went through it myself; you know. After... well, after getting back. The nightmares got worse, and the hypnotherapy helped. I still have them, but I know why now, so I can fight against the conditioning."
That got my attention. I studied her face, searching for any hint of bullshit. "Really? You’re actually starting to figure out what they did to you and fix what it did to your brain?"
She nodded, a shadow passing over her features. "It’s not easy. But it helped me face some memories I'd been running from for years. Gave me a way to process the trauma without it consuming me."
I snorted. "Look at you, all kumbaya and shit. What, did you find your inner peace or something?"
Rose's laugh was empty. "Hardly. But I found a way to live with the monsters in my head. To make them a little less scary. I probably wouldn’t run if we went back to the bag baby factory. I dunno. Last week, after seeing that… I didn’t think I’d make it through, but Sarah helped."
Something in her tone resonated with me. The raw honesty, maybe. Or the fact that she wasn't trying to sell me some bullshit miracle cure. And the fact that for the last week since coming back, Cam has been volatile and unpredictable which was fucking with my head. If my constant was unstable, that made me unstable, and I didn’t even know what the root was. But maybe if I found out…
"Did it hurt?" I asked, hating how vulnerable I sounded.
Rose's eyes met mine, unflinching. "Not the process, just the surfacing of the memories. But afterwards... it was like lancing a wound. All the poison came out."
I chewed on my lip, considering. Maybe there was something to this after all. If Rose could face her demons, then maybe I could, too.
Before I could respond, Kyle's voice cut through the kitchen. "Ladies, I think I've got something."
We all turned to see him hunched over his laptop, his face a mask of concentration. Fuck, I'd almost forgotten about the USB he jacked.
Kyle's fingers danced over the keyboard, connecting invisible dots. "These breeding records... they're not just about genetics. They're trying to create something specific. Something enhanced."
A chill ran down my spine. I leaned in, morbidly fascinated despite myself. "What kind of enhancements are we talking about?"
Kyle's eyes met mine, grim and focused. "Strength, speed, healing... and if I'm reading this right, some kind of heightened sensory perception. Each bag baby was injected with a different serum, and each has its own benefits. Well, purported benefits. There’s a stack of files in here following two separate cohorts. One was injected with something called AL1991 and it supposedly made them have increased sensory perception while dulling emotional intelligence. That cohort is around six now. The second was injected with RJ298C. It just lists: healing and breeding, Project X. Seems to be the third batch of this stuff, just labelled 92B. They’re unstable, their minds having been split into fragments that don’t communicate with each other. That cohort is almost extinct, with three remaining. It says one is thirty-three and runs a police department. Report says: successful implantation."
The room seemed to tilt around me. I gripped the edge of the table, my knuckles turning white. Part of me wanted to laugh, to brush it off as some ridiculous sci-fi bullshit. But the cold, hard evidence was right there in black and white.
"Well," I said, forcing a brittle smile, "guess that explains why I've always been such a freak. I wonder what they did to me."
Sarah's face hardened; her usual calm demeanor replaced by a steely resolve. "We need to shut this down. Now. Before they can do this to anyone else."
I nodded, my mind racing. The idea of other kids going through what I did, well, it made my blood boil. And not in the fun way.
Rose slammed her hand on the table, making us all jump. "Fuck yeah, we do. I say we go back and rip their scrotums from their bodies!"
For a moment, I was right there with her. The thought of watching Chimera go up in flames was enticing. But then reality came crashing back.
"And how exactly are we gonna do that?" I asked, my voice dripping with sarcasm. "Walk right in the front door? 'Scuse me, evil scientists, mind if we just destroy your life's work real quick?'"
Kyle cleared his throat. "Technically if we go at night, there’s less chance of getting caught, but after our break-in, I’m sure security enhancements have taken place. So, while I share your sentiment, Rose. We need to actually find the head of the snake. That’s the only way."
Sarah came up behind Kyle, placing her hands on his shoulders. “And Lakey, you might be able to help.”
And just like that, all eyes were on me again. I felt my stomach twist into knots. They wanted me to remember. To dig into the cesspool of my fucked-up mind and fish out whatever horrors were lurking there.
I glanced at Sarah, then Rose, anger boiling in my gut that Cam was off doing God knows what and not standing with me. Protecting me. Their faces were a mixture of concern and determination. They believed in this hypnotherapy bullshit. Believed it could help.
Part of me wanted to tell them all to go to hell. To grab Cam and run as far and fast as we could. But another part, a tiny, annoyingly hopeful part wondered if maybe this could give me some answers.
I chewed on my lower lip, tasting blood. "I... I don't know if I can do this," I admitted, “don’t know if I want to.”
Sarah leaned forward, her eyes soft and understanding. It made me want to punch her perfect face.
"Lakey," she said gently, "we can create a safe space for the hypnotherapy. Somewhere you feel comfortable and in control. And remember, you can stop at any time if it gets too intense."
I snorted. "Safe space? What, we gonna make a pillow fort and sing camp songs?"
But Sarah didn't rise to the bait. She just smiled, patient as a fucking saint. "We'll do whatever makes you feel secure. This is about helping you, not pushing you past your limits."
I hated how her kindness was getting under my skin, making me actually consider this insanity. My eyes darted around the room, looking for an escape route, when they landed on Cam who finally came inside.
He stood silent in the corner, a looming presence of barely contained violence. But his dark eyes were fixed on me, intense and unwavering. I could practically hear his thoughts: 'I've got your back, babe. Always.'
My heart did that stupid flutter thing it only does for him. Cam might be a sadistic bastard to the rest of the world, but with me? He was my anchor in the storm. I was still pissed he left me alone for this long, but I’d forgive him later, after he kissed me better.
I took a deep breath, the scent of Cam's cologne grounding me. Maybe I could do this. If it meant protecting what was ours, if it meant burning Chimera to the ground...
"Fine," I growled, glaring at Sarah. "But if you try any weird mind control shit, I'll carve out your eyeballs with a spoon. Got it?"
“I’ll have the spoon ready, if that makes you feel safer, Lakey.”
I nodded at Sarah, my teeth clenched so tight I thought they might crack. "Let's do this before I change my fucking mind."
Sarah's face lit up like I'd just agreed to donate a kidney instead of potentially dredging up all the fucked-up shit in my brain. "Wonderful. I promise, we'll take it slow."
I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, yeah. Just get on with it before I decide to use you for target practice instead."
As Sarah bustled around the room, setting things up, I couldn't help but watch her. It was like seeing a butterfly flit around a slaughterhouse — so out of place it was almost comical. She dragged over the only single chair this place had, positioning it just so, then dimmed the lights to a soft glow.
"Really going for that 'womb of tranquility' vibe, huh?" I muttered, but my snarky comment fell flat. My palms were sweating, and my heart was galloping in my chest. What the fuck was I getting myself into?
Sarah arranged some throw pillows, creating a cozy nest in the chair. "There," she said, stepping back. "How does this look? Comfortable enough?"
I eyed the setup suspiciously. It looked... nice. Too nice. Like it was trying to lull me into a false sense of security before ripping my psyche wide open. But then I caught Cam's eye again, saw the slight nod he gave me. If he thought this was okay, then I should trust in that.
"It's fine," I said, my voice coming out smaller than I intended. "Just don't expect me to start sharing my feelings or some shit. We do this, we find out what Chimera did, and then we burn those fuckers to the ground. That's it."
Sarah nodded, her face serious. "Of course, Lakey. This is about uncovering the truth, nothing more."
As I settled into the chair, sinking into its softness, I couldn't shake the feeling that I was walking into a trap of my own making. But for Cam, for our fucked-up little family... I'd face whatever demons were lurking in the dark corners of my mind.
I sank into the chair, my fingers immediately finding the hem of my shirt and twisting it. The fabric bunched and wrinkled under my restless hands, mirroring the knots in my stomach. Fuck, I was nervous. Me, the girl who could gut a man without blinking, trembling like a damn chihuahua over some hypno bullshit.
"You're safe here, Lakey," Sarah's voice drifted over, all soothing and shit. "Just focus on my voice and relax. Close your eyes, just breathe."
I snorted. "Relax? Sure, no problem."
But even as the sarcasm dripped from my tongue, a part of me desperately wanted to believe her. To let go and find out what horrors were lurking in the shadows of my memory.
I took a deep breath, steeling myself. Whatever nightmares were about to surface, I'd face them head-on. For Cam. For us. And for the sweet, sweet vengeance we'd rain down on Chimera when this was all over.
"Alright," I said, my voice steadier than I felt. "Let's dig up some demons."
Closing my eyes, I allowed myself to plunge into the darkness, hardly hearing Sarah as she asked everyone to leave us for the next hour and go find something to do.
“Okay, Lakey… just listen to my voice. Three… two… one…”