Chapter 18
CATHERINE
My heart breaks every time I see a message from Wilder. Forced to ignore it, I go on with my day.
After Troy caught me on my phone, I’m careful to avoid it as much as I can while he is home. I downloaded one of those domestic violence apps that help disguise messages as other things so Troy doesn’t see anything, but for now I have to ignore it.
When Wilder came into the house and threatened Troy, I messaged him to explain a few things. He deserved to know I was okay and that Troy held my phone hostage all weekend. I can only assume he gave it back to me because of Wilder’s threats.
I told Wilder that what we have isn’t over, but I need Troy to back off for a little bit so that I can find a way to leave without ending up dead or hurt. Wilder agreed and I’ve only gotten a few messages here and there.
What I didn’t tell him is that Troy knows we slept together. At least, he suspects it. I never came right out and gave him an answer, but I didn’t deny it either. He did some digging after that day and found Wilder’s account. He saw the video Wilder made at the guesthouse and he recognized the couch.
Every excuse in the world came out of my mouth, but nothing sufficed. His mind was made up. I was belittled and made to feel like a dirty whore. But he didn’t lay a finger on me, which surprised me.
After he knocked me out and cleaned my blood off of the carpet, he helped me to bed because I couldn’t move. He's been more cautious with me. Not to be mistaken for kind or caring, but he hasn’t hit me since Wilder threatened him.
It’s been four days since Wilder showed up at my house like a knight in shining armor. There was nothing more painful than telling him to walk away. I didn’t do it for myself, but for him. Troy holds true to the threats he makes and he’d do everything in his power to bring down the entire Cromwell family.
So I made a deal with the beast. I told him I’d stay away from Wilder and we could work on our marriage if he takes anger management classes. I’m not staying with him. In fact, I’m already planning my escape, but I need time.
Today, I returned to work. My body is still sore and tired, but my visible wounds have healed. I’ve been pacing the classroom since I arrived, knowing Wilder will be coming through the door any minute—for the very last time.
The seniors are done with school after today. It literally pains me to know I won’t see his smiling face in this room ever again. I’m not even sure when I’ll see him again.
As soon as the door comes open, I freeze. Eyes watching keenly as the gorgeous soul who stole my heart enters.
I fold my hands in front of my body, rubbing my sweaty thumbs together. “Hi,” I say softly.
Wilder forces a smile, but it’s cracked and frayed and not the expression I’m used to seeing on his face. I did this to him. I hurt him.
He closes the door gently then we meet in the middle of the classroom, silence hanging heavy between us. “I’ve missed you,” he says on a whisper.
I shouldn’t admit it because it will only hurt worse when I have to run, but I can’t help myself. “I’ve missed you, too.”
A gentle hand reaches out and he strokes my cheek with the back of his fingers. “You look good.”
Cracking a smile, I say, “Thank you.”
I know what he means. He’s saying I look better than the last time I saw him. When I felt like I was on the brink of death.
“Things are better,” I tell him, partially believing the words. Strangely, things actually are better. Troy hasn’t hurt me since that day. There have even been days where I convinced myself this situation changed Troy. Maybe he realized how close he was to losing me and he’s makinga conscious effort to be better. Other days, I still see the malice in his eyes and I’m reminded that, like a chameleon, a beast can change his colors, but he’s still a beast.
“I’m glad, Cat. I really am.” The pain in Wilder’s eyes cuts through me. Tears prick the corners of my eyes and he takes notice. “Hey,” he says in a hushed tone. “Don’t cry, Kitty Cat. Everything’s gonna be just fine.”
I can’t help myself. I break down in tears and the next thing I know, I’m in the safety net of Wilder’s arms.
The door to the classroom comes open and I immediately jump back. It was short-lived but that hug was the reminder I needed to break away from the chains Troy has me in.
I hastily wipe my face to greet my students, but when I see it’s Rome and Elodie, I immediately turn away. For some reason, Elodie is glaring daggers at me. I’m not sure what she knows, but she knows something and she doesn’t seem to approve.
“We’ll talk later,” I whisper as I step past him. Other students will be arriving soon.
Moving to my desk, I listen to their hushed voices as they drill Wilder. I’m pretty sure Rome demanded the truth, whatever that means. Followed by Elodie saying, “People are talking, so you need to come up with something quick.”
“Talking about what?” I blurt out as I pivot to face them. We’re alone in here so I feel like we can have an honest conversation without this whispering that spikes my anxiety.
All eyes land on me, but it’s Wilder who speaks up. “It’s okay,” he says in a reassuring tone. “Everything is fine.”
My eyebrows shoot to my forehead. “What is fine?” I ask authoritatively. “Someone tell me what’s going on.”
Wilder looks from Rome to Elodie then to me as he scratches the back of his head. “It’s a video I posted. Students are beginning to speculate…”
Oh, dear God. I sure as hell hope they don’t think, or know, it was me. If the staff here caught wind, I could lose my job. “What are they speculating, Wilder?”
He doesn’t say anything and his lack of response speaks volumes. I saw the video. I read the comments. Wilder’s entire female following have become detectives ever since that video was posted.
“Dammit,” I spit out. “Someone tell me what is going on right now!” I lower my voice to a near whisper. “Please.”
Elodie steps forward, a look of remorse on her face. “One person made a joke about it being you in the video, and Wilder’s followers ran with it. Some even went as far as doing reverse image searches of the side of your head…err, the girl in the video's head.”
My face drops into my hands and I massage my temples. I can’t believe this is happening. Just when I thought things might settle down enough for me to have a few minutes alone with Wilder so I could tell him how much I still care about him and how badly I’ve missed him—now I have to stay away from him more than ever.
Soft hands land on my shoulders and when I look up, I see the brown eyes I always get lost in. “There’s no proof,” Wilder says confidently. “We’re good.”
I look past him at Elodie and Rome, curious of what they’re thinking. They must know something is going on with us because they aren’t fazed in the slightest right now. “Do they know?” I ask Wilder because I have to know how many mouths can speak on this.
Wilder lifts his shoulders, caging in his neck. “They just figured it out and Rome read right through my excuses.”
“We won’t tell,” Elodie says. “Your secret is safe with us. We just want you and Wilder to be safe from…” Her words trail off but I know what she was going to say. This means Wilder told her about Troy.
My expression drops, right along with my heart. “You told them?”
“I was so fucking scared, Cat. I didn’t know what to do and I had to talk to someone.”
That makes sense. The scene he walked in on with Troy and me had to be traumatizing. I just don’t want everyone to know about it. My reputation is at stake here, too.
“Who else?” I stammer.
“No one. I swear.” His eyes lock with mine.
I believe him. His eyes don’t lie to me, not that I think he would. Wilder has never given me any reason not to trust what he says.
“No one else can know.” I look from him to Elodie, who is already nodding her head in agreement. “You need to delete that video and stop this chain reaction.”
He shifts on his feet a bit and pops the tip of his thumb between his teeth, chewing on his nail as he glances at his brother.
“Oh my God,” I hiss. “Is this about your view count and your followers?”
“No!” His cheeks flush red. “Not at all. I’ll delete the video. No problem. I’m just worried about you. What happens when this gets back to your husband?”
More students begin to enter the room so I end the conversation with, “I can handle my husband.”
At least, I hope I can.
All throughout class there are whispers circulating. I pay them no attention and when the bell rings, I dismiss everyone while wishing the seniors well.
Wilder hangs back, and we say goodbye with a hug. His mouth ghosts my ear and his warm breath sends a shiver down my spine. “Check your SnapTok.”
He isn’t even completely out the door when I open the app on my phone.
WildMisfit: We always have CatEyes and WildMisfit, right? Please just talk to me on here.
I want to smile, I really do, but how can I when my heart is so broken? Rome and Elodie know we slept together, that I am cheating on my husband with my student. And what’s worse? They know my husband physically abuses me.
I type out a response, but it’s not what I want to say, nor what Wilder will want to hear.
CatEyes: We need to give it time. It’s too soon. Once things cool down and we’re not the topic of everyone’s conversations, we can talk.
I hit send and I can't help but feel like this is the beginning of the end for us.