Chapter 9
Thalia
THE HONEYMOON WAS horrible after that. Carey rarely spoke to me, if at all, and the super yacht, large as it was, felt constricting. The death of our relationship was so obvious, even the staff knew something was off. I could see it in their side glances. Even so, I spent most of my time on the boat. Going onto the Greek shore didn't hold the same appeal as it did before. I was too shy. I felt like I had a mark on my forehead.
Rejected by her husband on her honeymoon.
I also didn't want to encounter other happy and in love couples on their honeymoon. The only bright light was that at least everything was out in the open now. At least what he felt for me was not based on deception. And it was all pure hate. It radiated from him whenever I was in his presence. I was on deck one day when I saw a lot of activity on the island. I asked a staff member if there was a festival when Carey came onto the deck. His lip visibly curled as I was speaking, and he turned back, retracing his steps. Even the sound of my voice was disgusting to him.
It was a long two weeks. The first week went on like that. Him cold and never talking to me. Me sleeping alone in the enormous master bedroom, while he slept in another room. Except for the staff, the only person I spoke to was my mother. Her cheerful voice made me continue the farce of our relationship. She was getting better, and it was because of Nolan Hawthorne Sr's money. For that, I couldn't apologize.
Things changed dramatically in the second week. It had started the same as the last, Carey ignoring me and me going about doing my thing. Then, on the second day of the second week, the boat sailed deeper into the sea. It was according to Carey's instructions; the captain said. Apparently, the Hawthornes owned a private island, and that's where we were going . Of course, they had an island .
My mother called me like she always did that morning. "Shouldn't you be asleep?" I asked her when I answered the video call. She was back at her apartment and even in the low light, she looked a little frail, but she was smiling. "I couldn't sleep." Her voice was raspy. "I hope I am not disturbing your honeymoon, sweetie."
"Not at all." I put on my brightest, cheeriest voice.
"How's Carey? I haven't spoken to my son-in-law since the wedding?"
"He's busy with work at the moment. He was asking after you," I lied. I had no idea what Carey was up to. My mom frowned. "Work? On your honeymoon?"
Shit. "He, uh, had to deal with an emergency. His office called so…" I trailed off.
"Well, tell him I said hi."
Our conversation moved on to more mundane topics. She was feeling better these days, she said, and the medication was working well. I tried to avoid questions about my marriage, and after a few minutes, I ended the call. Just as I finished talking to mom, the Captain honked his horn. I heard some commotion outside. Deck hands were running around. Curious, I went to the Captain's office to check. Carey was already there and he and the Captain were in deep discussion. Out of the window, I saw a boat tipped at a forty-five-degree angle into the water and three life boats floating around it.
"Won't it ruin your honeymoon?" The Captain said. “We could call the coast guard to come pick them up.” Carey glanced at me as I came in and his eyes flared right before he turned his attention back to the Captain, dismissing me.
“This boat is big enough. I wouldn't mind some company,” Carey said.
The Captain nodded. "Right on." He flicked on his radio and told whoever was on the other end to bring the stranded passengers in.
"What happened?" I asked.
The Captain looked at Carey, but Carey kept his attention on the capsized yacht. "Looks like they hit that rock there," The Captain said. "We've already called the coastguard, but I don't know when they'll arrive."
"Are they okay?"
"I was able to speak to the captain, and he said everyone who was on board is in the boats. There's ten people. Apparently it started sinking in the middle of the night, but they weren't able to contact the coastguard. Their radio only started working until we came along."
"We should help them out." As soon as I said it, I realized how superfluous it was. They were already doing that and didn't need my input. Feeling useless, I went out to the deck to receive the shipwreck survivors. As the lifeboats came closer to the yacht, I saw the captain was right. There were four people on one boat and three on each of the other two. Each boat had a stack of luggage in the middle. Carey came to join me as they were being taken on board. We both greeted each passenger. First the geriatric couple, followed by the boat crew, and finally the captain. Carey led them all to the yacht doctor, because of course this boat had that. While I helped store their luggage safely.
The couple later joined us for the late brunch Carey planned. They were both skinny and tall. The man was willowy with a blond, balding head, the woman swanlike with black hair streaked with silver. They were apoplectic and the man, Arther Bardwell, kept over-explaining himself. "We were on our way back to Santorini when the boat crashed. I shouldn't have overexerted the captain. But I was overexcited. I had planned a surprise, you see. It's our anniversary. I made him steer the ship the whole night. He must have been tired."
"These things happen."
"And now we've ruined your honeymoon!"
I almost choked on my mimosa. "We appreciate the company." I echoed Carey's earlier words. He glanced at me. He was sitting beside me at the table while we sat opposite the older couple. The woman, Mae Bardwell, who had spoken little, chimed in, "You must be enjoying yourselves. Santorini is very beautiful," she said with a distinct Greek accent.
I turned to Carey. To my surprise, he stretched his arm and enveloped it around my shoulder. I froze and let him speak. "We haven't gone to shore yet." The innuendo was obvious.
Arther chuckled. Mae smiled. "Ah," she said, "To be young and in love again."
"Hey!" Arther playfully jabbed his wife. "I am still in love. I don't know about you." They both laughed, clearly referring to some inside joke. Mae turned to me. "When you've gotten to our age, in love means tolerating his silly jokes."
I plastered a smile, my body fully aware of the point where Carey was touching me. It put me off kilter because I'm pretty sure this is the first time he's touched me since we danced together at the wedding. I know he's playacting. He doesn't have to tell me to for me to figure it out, but it unnerved me, nonetheless. The thought of being married to him for as long as this couple had never entered my mind. I cast a small sideways glance at him. We would never be as in love and happy as this couple was, and yet I was going to spend all those years pretending that I was.
Mae and Arther were really sweet and fun to be around. The mood of the day changed, and I happily listened to all of Mae's suggestions on where and what to visit on shore, even though I knew Carey and I would never go to any of these places. But just imagining myself on an actual honeymoon with him didn't hurt. Carey with his arm around me walking with me as we did nothing and everything in a foreign city. Wouldn't that be lovely?
Spending the entire day pretending to be a loving couple on their honeymoon was excruciating. Somewhere along the line, we had telepathically decided that this would be the way to go and spent the entire day inseparable. Carey would either hold my hand or my waist. Sometimes he would surprise me with a spontaneous kiss, like he did while we were on the deck in the evening. All four of us were lounging on deck chairs, star gazing while drinking prosecco and talking about nothing, when Carey leaned over to me and kissed me on the cheek. His mouth felt hot where his lips touched my skin, and it took all my strength to not jump out of my seat in surprise. I swiveled my head to him. Mae and Arther were distracted by a constellation they were arguing over. "What are you doing?" I whispered to Carey. His eyes glistened under the moonlight and the deck lights.
He leaned back in his seat but did not remove his arm from my shoulder. He took a sip of his wine, his gaze locked on my face. "What couples do."
I shimmied my shoulders to drop his arm, but he only put it back. "You don't have to do it when they're not watching."
He pouted. "What if I want to?"
My heart slammed against my chest. "You don't mean that."
He lean over and placed his chin against my shoulder. "I've just realized that we haven't consummated our union yet."
I snapped my head to face him and almost bumped into his. "Con-consummated?"
"Make love. Have sex. Fuck."
"I thought you didn't want me." I peered into his gaze, more inquisitive this time. His eyes were bright, his eyelids droopy, his gaze unfocused. "You're drunk."
"And?" As to prove his nonchalance, he took another sip of his wine and placed the glass on my lips. I glanced at Mae and saw her watching us, so I took the sip. It was clumsy and some of the wine ran down my chin. Carey raised his head and licked the drink. My insides trembled. I stifled a moan as he trailed his lips to mine and coaxed them open. I relented. There's no way I wouldn't, not with them watching. Deep down, I knew it was not as if I didn't want to either. His tongue toyed with mine as though this was just another game to him until he delved deeper. I felt a hand pulling me closer to his body, and then the kiss changed. It became rough and desperate. Hungry with a slight desire to hurt. He bit me and I fucking loved it. I drew myself to him and he groaned. My hand went to his head so I could pull him closer to me. Give me more of whatever this drug is.
Somewhere in the deep recesses of my mind, I heard a cough and a throat being cleared. Reluctantly, he let go of me and I opened my eyes just as he drew back into his chair. A gust of wind passed by and, like a cooling agent, it lowered the temperature of my desire.
With one kiss, I had forgotten we were not alone. Mae was gleefully glaring at us, while Arther's face was beet-red. If anyone should be embarrassed, it should be Carey and I.
"Um," Arther said, standing up, "I think it's time we should go to bed." Mae nodded along and rose just as swiftly. She stretched her limbs and feigned a yawn. "It's been a long day."
Carey untangled himself from me and got up as well. "Let me show you your cabin." And in another surprise move, he took my face into his hands and bent down to kiss me again, saying, "Stay here. I'll be right back, baby."
"Awww," I heard Mae say and felt even more exposed.
I thought of following his command after they were gone. But if I did so, who knew where it would end? Surely not with the two of us making love. Not when he was repulsed by me the entire week. No. I did not care to find out. I got up and went to my cabin, closed the door behind me, and felt a little reassurance being on my own again.
That kiss. It differed from any he had given me. There was hate and anger behind it. It was dark and twisted and yet… I wanted more. Exactly that, fucked up as it is. I ventured into the room and went to the bathroom to take a shower. Done with that, I brushed my teeth only to see that something was off. There was more than one toothbrush. I went to the closet. Carey's clothes were neatly arranged next to mine. I put on the first nightwear I found, a burgundy lace night dress that stopped a few inches above the knees and went to the phone to ask the stewards what was going on, but before I could pick up the yacht phone, the door opened. Carey came through, and his eyes immediately darkened when they landed on me.
He raised his eyebrows and smiled. "If I knew you slept like that, I might have reconsidered my silly rule."
"What are you doing here?"
He marched past me on his way to the bathroom. "Sleeping," he said without looking at me. "That's what couples on a honeymoon do."
"You're not sleeping in the same bed as I," I shouted, but he didn't respond. Soon, I heard the shower running, and I slumped onto the bed. Of course, we have to be in the same room together. I was cursing sweet Mae and Arther now for the situation they put me in. I waited for him to finish bathing and in about six minutes, he turned off the shower. Was he going to come in here naked?
We haven't consummated our marriage yet. I scrubbed the intrusive memory, but it didn't matter. My body was already heating at the thought of Carey's over mine, driving himself into me as I clung onto him like we used to.
He reappeared again in nothing but his trunks. Please don't tell me he sleeps like that? He stalked over to the bed and I scooted back until my back bumped into the nightstand. "We're not sleeping in the same bed!"
He ignored me and thrust open the sheets on the other side. "I am not sleeping on the floor."
I darted my gaze around the cabin.While luxurious, it was also minimalistic. There was only the bed we were on, a table with two chairs, and that was it. The only other flat surface besides the bed was the carpeted floor. It was nice to walk on, not to sleep on. I straightened myself and got into bed. At least it was big enough to accommodate four people, and it was just the two of us.
"Do not come anywhere near me."
"Don't worry. Whatever made me think I wanted to have sex with you has since escaped my body."
I felt a flush of embarrassment. He no longer had that same look of unquenched thirst as he had before. Carey was back to finding me repulsive again. He straightened his pillow and slid down into the covers. "I told you, dear wife, I will never fuck you again, even if you're the last woman in the world."
"Good." I felt like I had to protect myself from his barbs and deliver one of my own. "Just so you know, there was always someone else on my mind when you were inside me."
His lip curled with disgust and I wished I could take back my words, but they were already out there and they had their intended effect. I should be happy that I could wound him just as easily as he could wound me. But my words were lies and his were the truth.
Sleep was scarce, knowing he was only inches away from me. At some point I must have slept though, because I woke up the next morning with my entire back against his front, his arm around me. Our bodies had found each other during the night, drawn by some magnetic force. Did he seek me out or did I him? We were in the middle of the bed, so I couldn't tell. He was still asleep though and, not wanting to wake him up, I slowly removed his arm around me, rolled over to my side and out of the bed. There's no way I was letting him even think that I might have been the one to seek him out in the middle of the night.