Chapter 35
Thalia
"HE CAME TO your place! How did he find out where you live?"Darcy's feigned innocence was easy to detect even over the phone. Anyone with half a brain would know she was the one who gave him my address. She clicked her tongue."Stalker behaviour."
"Did he call you?"
"Um yeah, I mean. I don't know, I would have to check my messages."
"Darcy."
She sighed, and I heard something clutter over her end. Her voice was clear and without the familiar echoey background noises one expects over the phone except for whatever fell in that moment. She must have been in the shop's storeroom."Is everything alright?"
"It's fine, I stumbled on a shoe. This storeroom is a mess."
"Jack should be there in a few minutes."
"Oh, right! Carey must have seen Jack. Damn! Was he jealous?"
Even I couldn't discount Carey's feelings. His jealousy for Jack was clear as day and would have been cute if it was because he loved me. "You gave Carey my address, didn't you?"
"What! No!" Another sound of boxes falling and curses from Darcy. "He must have gotten one of his PIs to tail you or something."
"Darcy…"
"Fine. Yes, it was me, and I am sorry. He pressured me into giving it up and, frankly, I think it's the right thing to do because…" she trailed off, losing her brash confidence in the last second.
"If you have something to say, just say it."
"I think you're making a big mistake. He's not cheating with Gemma."
"I know."
She gasped. "Then why did you leave him?"
I wasn't sure if I should tell her. I have confided in her in pretty much everything. Ever since I left Carey, I've been even more open to her about my relationship with Carey, leaving out nothing except for how I feel about him and the lack of his feelings for me. If I told her the real reason I left, I would be voicing that fear into the world, making it real. But I didn't need to. Darcy said it for me.
"You love him, don't you?"
"Yes. But it's futile because he doesn't love me back."
Darcy went silent for a moment, something she never does on the phone unless it's disengaged.
"Darcy, are you still there?"
"What if he's in love with you?"
I chuckled.
"I think he's in love with you," she said more firmly.
"The only things he loves are sailing and himself. There's no room for a third thing."
"I am sure I saw…"
"I have thought about it and I want a divorce. He wants to delay it now the motherfucker. I don't know why he wants to fight me. It must be the lawyer with him."
"Fight you or do something else to you."
I rolled my eyes. "You're on his defense team now? I thought you were my friend?"
"I am. And I think you're should hear him out. That man has eyes for no one else but you. In all the time I've known him, I've never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you."
"That's lust, not love."
"Just hear him out Thalia."
The conversation jumped to other topics after that, but I still couldn't stop thinking about what she said. Either Carey had smooth-talked Darcy into believing him, or she had seen something different about him. Knowing Darcy, there's no way she would buy bullshit.
I spent the rest of the day organising my apartment and making sure it was livable and by the time I was done, I needed some air and an escape from the small walled in box. It was just before rush hour and the streets were gearing to get busy. My thoughts occupied me as I wandered aimlessly around the city until I stopped at an alluring coffee shop. It was a cute French style bakery with smells so inviting; they compelled you to enter. It was relatively busy, but a few tables were empty. The confectionary on display looked so good that my stomach rumbled, reminding me I hadn't eaten the whole day.
"Can I have—" When I looked up from the display, I encountered a smiling Ivy on the opposite side of the counter. Fuck. Of course, this is Ivy Hawthorne's bakery. I knew Carey's sister had a bakery in this neighborhood, but I had forgotten about it. The urge to run out here came over me, as well as the urge to act casual, resulting in staring at her blankly.
"Fancy seeing you here," she said. "Can I get you something?"
"I—uh." I glanced down at the selection of food and felt like I was put under the spotlight. "What's your bestselling item?"
She pointed to a pastry that looked like a cross between a croissant and an eclair with custard filling. "Our croiclairs are a hit."
"I'll have one."
Using tongs, she grabbed the largest and best looking one, put it in a bag, and handed it to me. "Do you want coffee with that? We have some really nice coffees." She shook her head when I offered my card to pay. "It's on the house. As well as the coffee, if you want it."
"Sure." I might as well sit down and eat, I thought. Running away would only make me feel shitty. She directed me to the barista, who quickly whipped up a latte for me. I went to sit down on one of the empty tables and took a bite of the pastry.The croiclair, or whatever she called it, was delicious. No wonder it was their bestseller.
I had halved down the pastry and the coffee when Ivy came back in my vision. Her warm welcoming smile made me offer her the empty seat.
"I hope I am not interrupting your work," I said as she sat down. "I had forgotten your bakery was here."
She waved away my concern. "You're family. If I don't have time for you, then who can I make time for?"
I looked down in embarrassment. It was nice that she saw me as such, but my connection to the Hawthornes was ending. Say what you will about the awful patriarch. The children weren't so bad and Ivy was the best of them.
"Oh." She put a hand to her mouth. "I had forgotten you two are…" She didn't need to say the word for me to know that's what she was referring to the D word.
"It's fine. It still feels kinda odd to be alone again after spending so much time with him."
"I've always thought you two were in for the long haul, you know. Guess I was wrong about that."
I wondered if she knew about the deal I made with her father. Probably not since she had been cast out of the family until recently. Nolan Hawthorne Sr had not liked that his daughter had a child with a man he thought was beneath her, so he cut her off from the family and it was only recently that she got back into the fold. But that was after she worked with her baby daddy, to takeover Hawthorne Inc, the family company.
"Yeah, well, not everything is what it looks like from the outside."
Ivy nodded. "True. Whatever the case," she reached out and squeezed my hand. "I am on your side. My brother can be a little prick sometimes. What did he do?"
"It's not his fault this time around."
She adjusted her chair and leaned in. "I'm listening."
Maybe there was something about Ivy's warmness, or maybe it was the coffee. It might even be the croiclair. But what started as a thirty-second explanation turned into a long unburdening of my entire marriage to Carey. Starting from the office party right down to the weekend in Nantucket. She listened intently without judgement, and only asking questions when she needed clarification. When I was done, I felt a weight lift off my chest.
She clucked. "Damn, my father did a number on you two." I nodded. For the first time in quite a while, I felt like I was talking to someone who understood what I was going through. Ivy leaned further in and spoke in conspiratory hushed tones. "Do you love him? Carey?"
I nodded again. There was no use lying to her.
"Do you want to be with him?"
"I don't know. Our relationship is so fraught. He wants to give it another go, but I don't think it's possible anymore. I'm not sure he can fully trust me, you know."
"I know what you mean. Damien and I didn't start on great footing as well. There was a lot of deception between us, as you know. But we worked through it and found out we have more in common than I thought. He loves me. I love him. And it took a lot to get to that point, but here we are. If you want him, why not give him the chance? And I am not saying that because he's my brother, by the way. Carey can be a douche nozzle when he feels like it."
I chuckled.
"It's true. I still haven't forgiven him for what he said to me at the memorial brunch. But you… you bring out the best in him. Think about it, will you?"
A barista came over and asked to speak to Ivy. They went to the side, and a couple of minutes later, Ivy made her excuses. "A coffee emergency has come up. I have to attend to it."
She left me to drink the rest of my coffee alone while I mauled over our conversation. I drank alone in silence as I watched the patrons come in and out. At some point, a handsome man came in. Damien Sinclair, Ivy's husband. She beamed when she saw him. He produced a single rose out of his jacket, and Ivy exclaimed in surprise as she went to hug him. Instead, he gave her a kiss that was long and a little too riske for a coffee shop. When they separated, Ivy was beet red. Damien was holding her possessively. They were in love.
Damn. I wanted a love like that.