Wild as Her (Beckett Family #2)

Chapter 19

Indie

“ H ere you go, birthday girl,” Wild says, placing a warm steaming foam cup into my hands when I get in the car and shut my door.

“Again,” I sigh, pushing the hair back from my face, “I knew I brought you for a reason.”

I sip the coffee through the little hole in the lid—the lava inside burning my tongue. But I don’t even care. After sitting outside for the last half hour, I’ll take anything to warm up right now.

“Thank you,” I say before downing another sip.

“Here,” he reaches into the back seat, “I grabbed these too,” he says, presenting me with a small bouquet of assorted flowers. “I thought you’d like to leave them for your mom,” he finishes in an uncertain tone, keeping his eyes on the mix of daisies and carnations in his hand.

When I remain speechless, just sitting there continuing to stare at the flowers, he begins to backpedal, rubbing at the back of his neck.

“I’m sorry, you probably have your own traditions you do. There’s probably a reason you didn’t grab any already. Here, I’ll put them somewhere else?—”

“No!” I reach out for his arm just as he begins to open his driver’s side door, and he halts his movement.

Peering down at the flowers again, I reach for them. He lets go, and I slowly pull them to my nose to breathe in their fresh scent.

“These are perfect. Thank you, Wild,” I say with a smile, planting a quick kiss on his cheek.

Hopping back out, I place the flowers beside the large stone with my mother’s name engraved across it.

The fact that he thought of something so sweet and actually did it sends a pang to my chest. I always mean to bring flowers but half the time I forget until it’s too late so I bring them later. I love that he did something so thoughtful, not only for me but for my mom as well.

The sad feeling I had this morning is gone when I climb back inside of the SUV. It always leaves after my visit is over. Just sitting and talking to my mom for a while helps me feel better about it all. I wish it was something I could have done face-to-face—even once—but I’m glad to have something with her.

“Here, I got this for you, too.”

Wild reaches into his pocket and pulls something out with a closed fist. He holds his hand toward me expectantly, the moment reminding me of the day we met.

I eye him suspiciously, and a smirk crosses his face, making that damn dimple cave in.

“I’m not gonna hold your hand, babe,” he finally says, seeing that I’m not budging. “Unless you want me to?” He raises a brow.

Rolling my eyes, I open my palm for him. His fingers slowly open, and something hard and smooth lands in my hand. Pulling it closer, I inspect the beaded keychain and see the top has a tiny charm of a blue sloth climbing a tree branch.

“Wild, I don’t celebra–”

“It’s not a birthday gift,” he cuts in. “It’s a just-because gift.”

The sweet expression on his face reminds me of a little boy who has just given his crush a gift and is waiting nervously for her reaction.

Shit. Not only do I think he’s hot, but now I find him cute, too?

“I saw it and had to get it for you. Your new keys need a personal touch.” He pulls the keychain from my hand and attaches it to the keys hanging in the ignition.

I shake my head and admire the cute addition to my keyring.

“Okay. If that’s the case, then I accept… Thank you, Wilder.”

“You’re welcome, Indiana.” He smiles and nods, grabbing his drink from the holder.

“Gas station coffee sucks ass, but it’s all I could find.” He takes a sip from his cup and pulls the SUV back onto the paved street outside of the cemetery.

“It’s perfect,” I smile over at him, drinking from my cup. “Thank you.”

“You’re in a good mood,” he states, glancing in my direction.

“Momma’s are supposed to make us feel better, ain’t they?” I reply, taking another sip from my warm coffee.

Deep-gray storm clouds circle above us. Leaves and debris blow across the street as the trees lean to their sides from the force of the wind that has picked up in a matter of a few minutes.

“My aunt said there was supposed to be a storm comin’ this way. Guess she was right… as usual,” I laugh.

“Looks like it,” he agrees and then quickly adds, “I’m starving. Let’s go eat. What sounds good?”

The thought of spending the rest of the day out with Wild awakens the butterflies that had just gone to sleep in my stomach. The last few years on this trip, Wren and I would spend the day perusing the shops in town. For some reason, I don’t think that’s what Wild will want to do.

On the one hand, I want to have more time with him. I’m actually enjoying being with him so far. But on the other hand, I’m scared that this is all going to bite me in the ass. Spending time with someone only causes feelings to multiply—something I knew when I agreed to let him come on this trip but was too stupid to care about.

“Don’t matter to me. I can find somethin’ to eat anywhere I go,” I admit, keeping my eyes on the warm drink in my hands.

“I could eat you anywhere I—” he stops himself from finishing the thought out loud.

He’s back to his playful self but trying to be respectful because of the current circumstances. I do appreciate his consideration for me, but I missed this—the teasing and banter between us. I need some normalcy today, so I’m glad he’s back at it.

I reach over and lightly smack his arm.

“What?” he says innocently, his eyes widening.

I say nothing as I shake my head and fight back another smile.

We had lunch at a little mom-and-pop diner. The wait was long, with a line of people trying to get off the road and out of the windstorm, but the food was delicious.

After scrolling through the weather app on my phone and watching the report on the little TV above the diner counter, we figured that it would be best to stay at the hotel and let the storm pass. There would be no joy in battling the elements out on the town today.

However, being confined to a room all day with Wild felt more dangerous than being stuck in the car. And especially more so than being out on the town shopping.

The more time I spent with Wilder, the more sure I was that I was going to be so royally fucked when we got back to Twin Pines. The thought of seeing him with another woman or him going back to ignoring and pissing me off constantly didn’t sound appealing.

But this is what I wanted. I didn’t want someone to ever get too attached to me. I didn’t want someone to expect things or want things from me that I could never give them.

I know how it goes. You tell a guy you don’t want or ever plan to have kids, and he’s fine with that. You eventually grow strong feelings and decide to settle down, and then BAM , he changes his mind. He wants babies… And now you’re the asshole for breaking his heart and leaving. It doesn’t matter that you told him from day one how you felt about it. He thought you’d change your mind .

Big fat chance of that happening.

I haven’t been in a relationship where that has happened yet, and I don’t plan to.

When you’ve watched someone you love go through life lonely and heartbroken because of what that very said reason can do— take a life —you don’t want to ever cause that pain for another person.

It may make me selfish, but I really don’t ever want to have children. People can try to convince me that I need to move past the fear, that it “doesn’t happen that often,” and yadda yadda yadda. But it’s not just that—some people just don’t want kids, and that’s okay.

It’ll always go the same way, though—men changing their minds. I have to stay distant for my safety and theirs.

Wild plops down in the old red booth seat across from me.

“Alright, check is paid. You ready to head back to the hotel?” He waggles his eyebrows.

“Yeah, I could use a nap,” I yawn.

And it’s true. I despise waking up early, and I’ve had to do it several days in a row now.

Napping is one of my favorite hobbies. If it were an Olympic sport, there’s no doubt in my mind I’d be a gold medalist.

A wicked smirk covers his lips. “Alright, let’s hit the road then.”

I sigh with a slight head shake. “Just because I mentioned a bed doesn’t mean anything is happenin’ when we get there.”

He nods and responds in an unbelieving tone, “ Uh-huh. ”

“I’m serious. I’m takin’ a damn nap, Wild.”

He huffs a laugh as he stands from the booth.

“Oh, my sweet, stubborn girl. Always playin’ hard to get.” He plants a quick kiss on my head.

“ I like it, ” he whispers in my ear as he pinches my ass, causing me to quickly spin on him.

“Wild, I swear to God,” I hold a finger up in warning.

“Attitude…” His eyes trail me. “Good. Keep that in mind.” He swats my behind lightly, sending a warm feeling to my core.

We walk away from the booth side by side, his hand on my lower back—the warmth doing something funny to those damn butterflies that need a Xanax.

Wild steps in front of me, pushing the glass door open, and a little bell rings overhead.

“After you, Wildflower.” He holds the door open, and I walk outside into the cool air.

As soon as I pass him, his hand slaps my ass again, but this time I don’t mind it. I feel my insides start to heat again as I look back and see him wink, following behind me.

What the hell?

I’ll admit, usually, that shit pisses me off, and I’m ready to turn around and slap the shit out of him. But right now, that’s not even in the top twelve things I want to do to him.

I’m so fucking screwed.

I’m doing everything I can to fight these feelings, so why isn’t it working?