Chapter 5
5
WALKER
I was excited Dakota wanted to move forward, but I had a bad feeling about things between me and Addison. I hadn't gotten the closure I needed to put Addison firmly in the past. That was evidenced by the fact that familiar feelings rose to the surface when I was around her.
The lingering feelings only intensified the more time we spent together. It would be tough for me to ignore, but that's what Addison wanted me to do.
But she was right; I should focus on my daughter right now. There wasn't time or space for diversions. Addison Montgomery represented the biggest distraction of them all. She was the one woman I couldn't forget.
I suspected it was because she was my first love, but now I wondered if it was because things weren't settled between us. I'd made a snap decision to enlist and decided for both of us that we couldn't continue our relationship. I'd be traveling around the world. It wouldn't be fair to her to attempt a long-distance relationship. I didn't want to hold her back.
She had college and her entire life in front of her. I had a burning desire to prove myself. I didn't want the Wilde family to help me. I wanted to make it on my own. I wanted my parents to be proud of me, had they been alive.
That desire overshadowed everything, even my love for Addison which, I told myself at the time, would dissipate. Unfortunately, I never quite let it go.
I still held her picture in my wallet. It was crumpled, the color faded, but it was there as a representation of what we used to have. Something sweet and pure. Addison was there for me when I felt like I had no one. I hadn't let the Wildes in, but in reality, I kept myself isolated in my grief.
She was the only one who could reach me, and now I suspected she was working her magic on Dakota. I needed her to help with this transition, and I wouldn't do anything to mess it up.
Scarlett was hosting dinner, so I didn't have anything to do to occupy my hands. I wasn't working at the moment, and I wasn't used to sitting around doing nothing. I went for a run through the woods on one of the trails that wasn't as snow covered. The ground was frozen, but it was good to get outside and breathe in the fresh air.
When I returned, I did some weight-bearing exercises, making a mental note to acquire weights for my workouts. I showered, then cleaned the cabin even though it wasn't messy. I needed to do something to calm my nerves.
I wasn't sure why I was so on edge. Was it that Addison didn't want to talk to me, or was it that I worried Dakota wouldn't like my family? A big reason for staying in Telluride was my extended family. If she didn't like them, I wasn't sure where that would leave us.
About thirty minutes before I told Addison to meet me at Scarlett and Eli's house, I drove over to see if I could help.
Eli opened the door. "Welcome to our humble abode."
"It seems five-star to me. Congratulations." I slapped his back .
Eli stepped back to let me in. "I forgot you haven't been here."
It was a mix of rustic and modern, but it was filled with framed photographs of the family and knickknacks.
Scarlett hugged me. "It's so great to have you and Dakota over."
"I appreciate you hosting. I can cook but not for large numbers." Especially when I was so nervous about Dakota meeting everyone.
When Scarlett pulled back, she scrutinized me. "You aren't nervous, are you?"
The area between my shoulders was tight. "A little bit."
Scarlett gave me an easy smile. "I'm sure we're going to love Dakota. She's yours after all."
"I appreciate the vote of confidence, but I'm worried she won't like having a large family or being stuck on a ski resort when she lived in town in Virginia."
Eli leaned a hip against the counter. "I'm sure it will be fine. You're worrying for nothing."
I couldn't shake the nerves though as Scarlett bustled around the kitchen.
"Mom and Dad are home and excited to meet her."
"I can't believe they came home just for this."
Eli gave me a confused look. "You're another son to them, so this is like their grandchild."
Scarlett laughed. "Be prepared for them to treat Scarlett as a grandchild."
I hadn't given much thought to the fact that I was taking Dakota away from her only grandparents. Maybe my aunt and uncle would be substitutes.
When the doorbell rang, Eli let his parents in, and I stood to hug them. "You didn't have to come home for this."
Clara stood back. "We want to meet Dakota. Tell me everything. What's she like? "
"She's great." I couldn't believe we hadn't discussed her interests. I knew she listened to music on her headphones, but I had no idea if she preferred books over video games.
"I'm sure she is. I can't wait to meet her. I heard she looks just like you," Aunt Clara said, her words tumbling out.
I nodded, my heart thumping. "She does."
"What's the plan for Dakota coming to live with you?" Uncle Roland asked.
"She wants to enroll in school and move into my cabin before her first day."
"Things are moving fast," Uncle Roland said.
"It seems like it. But it's what she wanted, and Addison said we should follow her lead."
"Addison is the social worker involved in her case? Your ex-girlfriend?" Aunt Clara asked.
My stomach tightened. "That's right."
"Are you sure it's a good idea for her to be the social worker in this situation?" Uncle Roland asked.
"We agreed to keep things professional. We're both focused on what's best for Dakota."
The doorbell rang, and Eli opened the door for Xander and Tori, and Carolina, Oliver, and Joey. It got loud quick, and I grew more nervous about Dakota walking into our family gathering.
The next time the bell rang, I waved off Eli and got it myself. I wanted to be the one who greeted Dakota.
Addison stood on the porch with Dakota, who was fiddling with the edge of her sweater.
"If you don't want to come in, we can go somewhere else." I made a move to step outside, but Aunt Clara appeared next to me. "Are you Dakota? You look just like your father."
Dakota smiled tentatively. "I am."
"Dakota, this is my Aunt Clara. Aunt Clara, this is my daughter, Dakota." I wasn't sure I'd ever get used to saying my daughter . It felt good though.
"Come in. I want to see you." Aunt Clara waved for her to come inside where she took Dakota in her arms.
My eyes stung as I watched them embrace. I hadn't expected to feel so emotional about my family meeting my daughter for the first time.
Addison squeezed my hand, and when I looked over at her, she smiled encouragingly.
"Stop hogging the new girl. We all want to meet her," Xander said with his usual charm. When Dakota pulled away from Aunt Clara, Xander said, "I'm the favorite uncle."
Addison dropped my hand and stepped back to give us space.
"Okay," Dakota said, drawing out the word.
Worried she was overwhelmed already, I moved to her side and placed a hand at her back. "This is Xander, my annoying cousin."
Xander placed his hand over his heart as if he was offended.
I gestured at Tori who stood next to him. "And his better half, Tori. She's one of the doctors in town."
"Nice to meet you," Tori said to Dakota.
Then I guided her farther into the house to meet Eli and Scarlett. "My oldest cousin, Eli, and his wife, Scarlett. This is their house."
"It's nice. Thank you for inviting me," Dakota said softly.
I noticed that Dakota was polite. Her mother must have taught her manners.
"You're welcome anytime. I'd love to go shopping if you want to decorate your new room," Scarlet offered.
Dakota looked at me for approval.
"You can decorate it however you want," I assured her.
Dakota turned her attention back to Scarlett. "That would be nice. Thank you. "
Oliver approached, holding Joey. "I'm Oliver, and this is my son, Joey, and I'm not too proud to admit, my better half, Carolina."
Dakota nodded.
Oliver put Joey down, and he tugged on Dakota's hand. "Will you play with me?"
I held my breath, not sure if a thirteen-year-old would want to spend time with a six-year-old, but Dakota smiled, and said, "Sure. What do you want to play?"
Joey pulled her into the living room where Scarlett and Eli kept some toys for when he visited.
Scarlett invited Addison into the kitchen, probably to catch up.
I moved toward Oliver, who raised his brow. "Does she babysit?"
I gave him a look. "You're not putting my daughter to work when she just got here."
Oliver shook his head. "I was just giving you shit. How are you feeling about everything?"
"Overwhelmed. Convinced I'm not going to be a good dad." I wanted to talk to him because he was a single father until he met Carolina. Joey's mother was around but not a reliable parental figure.
Oliver slapped my back. "Welcome to fatherhood, where you always think you're messing up your kids."
"That's not encouraging." When you find out your wife or girlfriend is pregnant, you have nine months or so to prepare, but I only had time to get everything in order and come home. Sometimes it felt like I was swimming against the current.
"There's nothing like a child's love. When you mess up, always apologize. There's nothing more important than making amends."
"So far, things have been okay, but she's living at the hotel with her grandparents. I'm not sure how it will be when she's living with me twenty-four seven." I'd read about setting a routine, but I wasn't sure that applied to a teenager. Then there were rules I'd need to enforce, but I wasn't even positive where to start. Should she have a set bedtime? Did she already have one? Did I need to be involved in her homework? Or was she independent? I had so much to learn.
"You'll figure it out as you go, and I'm here if you have any questions."
I nodded. "I appreciate that."
Oliver tipped his head toward the living room where Joey was setting up a board game. "So far, it seems like Joey's charm is working on her, so maybe we can get together with just our families."
It struck me then that Dakota was my family. I wasn't alone in this world anymore. We had each other. It seemed selfish when her mother had to die for me to find out about her. "Sometimes it doesn't seem real. That she's mine. That I didn't know about her for all these years."
"You can't look back. Do your best with the time you have. Be grateful for it."
I let his words settle into my consciousness.
At dinner, we sat at a long table in the dining room with windows overlooking their treehouse kind of view. It was exactly the feel Eli wanted when he built this place. I sat between Dakota and Addison.
I leaned over to ask Dakota, "How are you doing? Overwhelmed yet?"
She shook her head. "It's fine. Joey's cute."
I raised a brow. "You like kids?"
She nodded. "I used to watch the babies at my mom's church."
"You went to church with your mom?"
"Yeah, I was a member of the youth group and helped with the babies during the services. "
"We'll have to find something for you here," I offered, even though I didn't have the first clue where to start. Maybe Aunt Clara's church she attended on Christmas. "I'll ask around and see which one has the best youth group."
She smiled. "That would be nice."
"Are you involved in any other activities?" I asked her, wanting to fill in the blanks.
"I play volleyball, but that's a fall sport."
"I'll teach you how to ski and snowboard. Maybe you can join the team here," Xander offered, his voice filling the space.
Her nose scrunched. "Oh, I don't know. I was terrible at ice-skating."
Xander waved a hand. "I can teach anyone."
"I'd like to learn."
Xander beamed, and Dakota seemed pleased with the offer.
I leaned in to whisper. "You can say no to Xander sometimes. It's good for his ego."
Dakota covered her smile with her hand.
Xander leaned across the table. "What is he saying about me?" When she giggled, he said, “I’ll have you know that he's just jealous of my athletic ability and charm."
"You got me. I'm jealous of your physical ability and charm," I said sarcastically. Everyone was used to Xander and his over-the-top mannerisms. The ladies loved it, but his brothers and I gave him shit for it.
"I forgot how you guys were. It's been a while," Addison said affectionately.
"I warned you, Dakota. I said we could go somewhere else," I teased.
"It's okay. I kind of like it," Dakota said, and my chest filled with hope that this could work out. That Dakota could be happy here. Our future was tenuous, but I could see myself living here with Dakota.
Dinner was loud with my cousins trying to outdo each other with embarrassing stories of me growing up. I didn't mind because Dakota and Addison seemed to enjoy it. Addison had been used to my family, but she listened with rapt attention to the stories like they were new to her.
"It sounds like it was fun to grow up here." Dakota sipped her soda.
"It was a little crazy," Eli agreed.
"My boys were wild, but I had Kylie to even things out," Claire said.
"Where is Kylie?" She was my youngest cousin and only girl.
"She wasn't feeling good. But said she'd be here next time," Aunt Clara said.
"I'm sure you'll enjoy meeting another girl in the family," Scarlett said to Dakota.
We finished eating, and we helped Scarlett and Eli clean up the dishes and leftovers. Then we went outside to start a bonfire in the fire pit. It was cold, but we enjoyed evenings around the fire. Scarlett brought out fixings for s'mores and hot chocolate.
After dessert, Dakota disappeared inside with Joey to play a game.
Addison sat next to me. "That went well."
"I'm afraid things are too good to be true."
"I'm not saying you won't have tough times. She's a teenager after all. But so far she seems to enjoy your family and the idea of living on the resort."
I nodded toward the guys. "I could do without my annoying cousins."
Addison nudged me with her elbow. "You don't mean that."
"There are times I could do without them. Why do you think I enlisted?" I meant to say it in a teasing manner, but bringing up my enlistment wasn't a good idea.
Addison looked away from me.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up."
She shook her head. "Don't worry about it. It's in the past. "
I knew that wasn't the case because Addison looked uncomfortable, and then she stood without looking directly at me. "I'm going to look for Dakota."
I didn't follow her because I figured she needed some time to herself. Instead, I tried to focus on the success for the night: Dakota fit with me and my family.