Chapter 7
7
WALKER
I t was a busy week. It was an adjustment living with Dakota. I'd had roommates in the military, but this was different. Dakota was my child, and she was a girl. I was on edge, wondering if she needed something but was afraid to ask for it. I wanted to anticipate her every need. I wanted to be a good dad.
But for the most part, she was self-sufficient. She got herself up for school and was responsible. She charged her laptop each night and did her homework as soon as she got home. Thankfully, she allowed me to make her breakfast and dinner because otherwise, I'd feel useless.
I wanted to provide for her, and it was hard with her being older. She didn't need me in the same way a younger child would. It was easy and hard at the same time.
She seemed okay at school. She said she hadn't made any friends yet but was happy to be back in a routine.
When she was at school, I was bored. The house was clean and didn't need any repairs. By Thursday, I was going out of my mind. I decided to head to the lodge to meet with Eli.
I popped into his office .
Eli lifted his head. "How's Dakota doing?"
I sat in the plush leather chair across from him. "She's great. Settling in at school."
"That's good to hear. Let me know if we can help out in any way."
"I appreciate that."
Eli sat back in his chair and considered me. "Now what can I do for you?"
I let out a breath. "I'm bored. Dakota's gone all day and doesn't really need me when she comes home. I'm not used to having free days. I don't know what to do with myself."
Eli chuckled. "You ready to take over the cabins? I didn't want to overburden you, but if you're bored?—"
I leaned forward. "I'd be in charge of scheduling, cleaning, and maintenance?"
"We want guests to have a great experience when they come here. It's about mixing luxury with a rustic feel."
"I can do that." I needed something to do.
"We'll get you a laptop." Eli typed something on his computer, presumably a request for a computer. When he was finished, he asked, "Are you and Dakota coming to the festival on Saturday?"
"That's the plan."
He raised a brow. "I heard that Addison is coming too."
"We haven't seen much of her since we moved Dakota in. I have a feeling she won't be stopping in as much." I tried not to feel that as an acute loss, but I did.
He steepled his hands. "Why is she coming on Saturday then?"
"Dakota invited her. Addison's the one who's been there since her mother died. I think she looks up to her. But I got us enrolled in therapy, and we start next week. We're going to be okay." We didn't need Addison, even if it felt good to have her with us .
"Your past relationship hasn't come up?"
"She doesn't want to talk about it, and I have to respect her wishes."
He tipped his head. "Why is that again?"
I shrugged. "I was the one who ended things between us."
"I mean if it's over it's over, right? No need to revisit the past," Eli said, matter-of-fact, his gaze diverting to his computer screen.
"Right." But why did I feel that sense of loss again, like I was missing out on something? I like when Addison spends time with us. It feels good, like we're a family. Which was ridiculous. She's my daughter's social worker and my ex. That's it.
"Are you happy?" Eli asked me.
"I don't know that I would have left the military this early. I didn't have a reason to, but now that I'm out, I like it. I'm enjoying having time to get to know my daughter."
"I think this will be good for you. You have Dakota, and we're here for you."
"I appreciate everything you've done for us, but don't you want to rent out the cabin? Shouldn't we be looking for another place to live at some point?"
"That cabin is yours if you want it. It's private and is perfect for you two. We want you to live on the property. You're family."
The Wildes always insisted I was part of their immediate family. The problem was that I resisted that label. I felt like I didn't belong. But now that I had a daughter, I didn't want her to feel like she wasn't a part of the Wilde family. Funny how that worked.
"If you feel like the work is too much, just let me know. There's no pressure to do anything. We wanted to give you time to acclimate and be with Dakota."
"I think it will be good for me. I need something to do besides my daily workout. I cook for Dakota, but otherwise she doesn't need me to do much. I'm just there in case she falls apart."
"You have a teenage daughter. Even if it seems like smooth waters now, I'm sure that will change. I've heard they're unpredictable."
"I've been reading up about everything I can on parenting a teen. I want to be prepared."
Eli gave me a look. "That's great, but sometimes you can't be prepared for things that happen. You have to go with the flow."
I rubbed the tension in my neck. "I'm not really good with that."
Eli shook his head. "Neither am I. That's Scarlett talking."
"She's been good for you," I said as his expression softened.
"I can't imagine life without her. That's why I advocated for my brothers to find their significant others." Eli waved a hand in my direction. "You, on the other hand, are busy. You don't have time for all that would entail."
"Right." Then why did I enjoy spending time with Addison? Why did I want to bring up the past and explain myself? Why did I feel like I walked away from the best thing that ever happened to me?
"Let me know if you have any questions. Stop by my assistant's desk on the way out. She's getting a laptop for you."
"Thanks, Eli. I appreciate you giving me this opportunity."
"When we drew up the documents for the business recently, you were given part ownership of the resort. This place is yours now too."
My throat tightened. I hadn't allowed myself to think about what that meant when my cousins told me their plans. I never expected them to give me ownership of anything. I always thought the resort was theirs. "You didn't have to do that."
Eli sobered. "This place is the family's legacy."
I nodded. "I'll let you get back to work."
"We'll get together soon. "
"Sounds good," I said as I walked out. The Wilde Brothers usually got together to do some kind of excursion. I joined them when I was home, but now I'd be included more often. If I wanted Dakota to feel like part of the family, I needed to start acting like I was too.
I spent the rest of the week getting familiar with the computer system for making reservations for the cabins, and the schedule for cleaning and prepping the cabins for new guests. I also reviewed the hotel's policy for providing services to guests in the cabins. I wanted to ensure that cabin guests got the same level of service as those in the lodge.
Otherwise, I handled any maintenance calls and scoured the reviews for smaller things that might be an issue. When I spotted a negative review, I responded on behalf of the resort, thanking them for their input, indicating I'd fix it, and I hoped they'd join us again. I'd need to talk to Eli about other ways we could reach out to anyone who had a negative experience.
I knew Eli wanted the resort to have high standards. The reviews indicated there was room for improvement at the cabins. Guests didn't have an easy way to report any issues.
I thought about ways that guests could reach out during their stay. It would need to be easy, and the process as painless as possible. I spent time brainstorming ideas to increase customer service.
After school on Friday, Dakota breezed through the door without greeting me.
"Hey, what's going on?"
She paused at the bottom of the steps, but then continued up. "Nothing."
It didn't sound like nothing. I debated going after her or giving her space, but figured I should make one more attempt to talk to her. I knocked on her door.
"What?" That one word had a bite to it.
I knew this was coming, but it was hard to hear that tone directed at me. "Is everything okay?"
She was quiet for a few seconds and then said, "No."
"Can I help you with something?"
The door opened slowly. "I need to talk to Addison."
My heart skipped a beat as terror shot through me. "Why do you need to talk to her? I can help you."
Her gaze dropped from mine. "You can't."
"I want to help." I didn't want to involve Addison because I wanted to prove I could handle this parenting thing on my own, and this was my first real test. I figured it was probably some kind of fight at school or maybe even a bad grade. Surely, I could handle that.
"I need to go to the store."
"If you need anything, just put it on the list I shared on your phone. I have access to it and can pick up anything you need."
She just gave me a look.
I gestured toward the stairs. "I can go now if it's an emergency."
She bowed her head, typing something on her phone.
I pulled up my list to see she'd added pads.
I started to sweat, but I wasn't backing down from this challenge. For some reason, a thirteen-year-old's period needs hadn't come to mind. "Can you take a picture of the kind you prefer, and I can pick it up?"
Her mouth dropped open. "You're actually going to go to the store and buy pads?"
I shrugged. "Isn't that my job? It's a dad thing."
Her eyes widened. "You won't be embarrassed?"
"I mean, I might be, but I'll get over it." In a way, I felt privileged to provide her with what she needed. I never got the opportunity to do that before, and it was oddly satisfying.
"Please, get the exact ones in the picture. I don't like the others. I've tried them—" Her voice broke off as she headed into the bathroom.
"I'll get them. Put anything else you need on the list. Snapping pictures if you think I'll need help," I said as I turned to go.
"Are you sure you want to do this? I can call Addison," she called from the bathroom.
My jaw tightened. "Addison is not doing a grocery run for us. I've got this."
"Yeah, okay." Her voice was filled with disbelief.
I went downstairs in a bit of a daze. I couldn't believe I'd agreed to do a pad run, but at the same time, this was what it was like being a girl dad. I didn't have anyone else to pawn these responsibilities off to, and I didn't want to. This was my opportunity to be the dad she needed.
At the store, I grabbed a cart because she'd added more things to the list: a razor, shaving cream, and some hair products. Thankfully she'd added photos for each item. This should be a breeze.
I got everything else first. I was feeling pretty good about myself before I walked down that aisle. Was everything in here pink and purple, or was it just me? I was the only man in the aisle browsing with several women.
I tried matching the picture to the boxes, but there were a billion options and my vision was getting blurry.
Addison appeared at my side. "Do you need help?"
"I'm shopping for Dakota," I said immediately as if it wasn't obvious.
She grinned. "I figured that."
I showed her the screen of my phone. "I told Dakota I could handle this. She told me to buy this one, and I don't want to come home with the wrong thing. "
She took the phone from me. "I'm impressed you're here at all."
"She wanted to call you."
"But you didn't want her to?" Addison asked, her head tipping slightly to the side as she considered me.
"I'm her dad. I can handle a little shopping. But I can also admit when I need help." I tapped the screen of my phone.
Addison laughed, and the sound hit my chest. When she recovered, she zoomed in on the picture. Then she scanned the rows of boxes, and pulled one out. "It's this one."
"Thank you. I'm not sure I would have gotten it right. How many should I get?"
She handed me two boxes. "Just in case. Make a note of which one this is so you can get it again. Maybe just keep it stocked so she doesn't even have to ask you."
I nodded, making a mental note. "That's a good idea."
"How are things going otherwise?"
"She came home with a little attitude today because she wasn't sure how to ask for what she needed. But otherwise, we've had a good week. I cook for her, and she hides in her room doing homework or reading."
"Just be there for her. When she sees that you're making an effort, she'll know she can count on you. That's the outcome you want. Otherwise, she'll seek those needs out with boys."
Alarm rushed through my body. "Isn't thirteen young for that?"
"She might like boys at this age. Has she said anything?"
"No." I scrubbed a hand over my chin.
"Some kids don't talk about it, and others aren't interested yet."
My jaw tightened. "She better not be interested."
Addison's lips twitched. "It's normal though."
I grumbled. "I don't have to like it. "
"If you have any questions, don't hesitate to reach out," Addison said as she turned to continue to walk down the aisle.
I fell into step with her. "I want to handle this stuff on my own."
"All parents can use advice here and there. Even if it's just to talk or vent your frustrations. I'm here for you. Not in a social worker capacity but as a friend."
"Is that what we are? Friends?" I didn't think that would ever be the case after I broke things off. I didn't dare hope for a scenario where we could be friends again.
"Sure."
It was something but not enough. "I'd better get these back to her. She might need them soon."
Addison moved away. "Good luck."
"Thanks, Addison. I'll see you tomorrow at the festival?"
"I'll be there." I'd offer to pick her up, but it didn't make sense when traffic on and off the property would be congested.
I checked out at the self-checkout aisle so I wouldn't get any raised eyebrows. Not that I should. Men should feel comfortable buying products for the women in their lives. I picked up a pizza because I didn't have time to cook and called out when I got home, "Dinner's here."
A few seconds later, her door opened, and Dakota bounded down the stairs.
"I got everything you needed." I tipped my head in the direction of the grocery bag.
Dakota peeked in the bag. "You did."
"The pictures helped. Just put them on the list when you need them, but I'll try to keep the house stocked now that I know what you need."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome." It shouldn't be something that she should be surprised about. I wanted to be dependable. "Pizza? "
"Yes, please" she said, climbing onto a stool and grabbing a slice.
I placed a plate under her hands and handed her a napkin.
She rolled her eyes. "You're such a dad."
I hesitated for a second. "It's nice to be a dad. I never thought I'd get the chance."
"Why?"
"I was busy with work and didn't spend enough time in any one place to get to know anyone in that way."
"That's sad."
I grabbed a slice for myself and placed it on a plate. "You know I dated Addison in high school."
Dakota's eyes widened. "Nooo."
I couldn't help but smile at her reaction. "Yes. We were a thing."
"Wow. What happened?" She took a large bite of her pizza.
"I enlisted."
She chewed and swallowed. "You broke up with her?"
"Yeah."
Her brow furrowed. "Why?"
"Because I was leaving, and it didn't seem fair to try the long-distance thing."
Her forehead wrinkled. "You didn't break up because she wasn't the one for you?"
"It was the hardest thing I've ever done. I didn't want to hurt her, but I knew I needed to do this for me. I wanted the structure of the military, and I wanted to make something of myself."
Dakota finished her slice and set the crust down. "Have you talked to her about it since you've been back?"
"She doesn't want to talk about it."
"Huh."
I rolled my shoulders back to ease the tension. "What?"
"It could be she doesn't want to talk about it because it still causes her pain. "
"You don't think she's already moved on and doesn't want to relive the past?" Why was I asking a thirteen-year-old for relationship advice?
"Maybe. But I think if she can't talk about it, then there's still something there."
Hope surged through me. Is that what I wanted? Another chance with the one I walked away from?
She grinned. "The question is what are you going to do about it?"
"I don't know." But my mind was racing with possibilities.
"You still like her."
"I never wanted to break up with her."
Dakota reached for another slice. "Does she know that?"
"No." I never told anyone. The other soldiers were good about not asking questions.
She tipped her head to the side, her ponytail swinging. "Don't you think you should tell her?"
I shook my head. "She doesn't want to hear about it."
"I think you haven't tried hard enough."
"How do you know so much about dating?" I asked before taking a large bite of my slice.
Dakota rolled her eyes. "Mom dated."
"She never married?"
"She said I was her focus."
I felt badly that her mother hadn't searched for happiness with someone else.
"Are you going to use the same excuse? Because I don't think she should have sacrificed her happiness for me."
"I've never had you in my life before. You should be my sole focus. At least for now."
Her nose scrunched. "I'm not a baby. I'm independent."
I nodded. "I know. But let me have this time, okay? I lost so many years."
Dakota nodded .
"I promise I'll tell her."
Her eyes filled with excitement. "You will?"
"Yes. But no promises on when." I wasn't sure that Addison would be receptive to it. "Today, she said we were friends."
Dakota grinned. "That's a step in the right direction."
"I thought it was bad to be friend zoned."
Dakota frowned. "I don't think so."
"We'll see." I stuffed my mouth with pizza so I couldn't answer any more of her questions. I didn't know what the protocol for parenting was, but I was almost positive I wasn't supposed to discuss my love life with my thirteen-year-old daughter.
It felt good to share something personal with her though. We were becoming a family, a team, and I liked it a lot. "How are things going at school?"
Her nose scrunched. "Eh."
"What does that mean?" I'd read it was hard to discern information through teens, but this was taking that to a new level.
She shrugged. "I'm new. You know how that is."
"I was the new kid when I moved in with my aunt and uncle." I was so steeped in grief and pretending I was okay; I wasn't sure I cared about making friends.
"Everyone already has a friend group. I'm not sure how to break in or if I even want to."
"Does that bother you?" I had a feeling it did. Girls were more social than boys, and I'd seen her texting her friends back home.
"It would be nice to have friends."
I couldn't do much about this problem except listen to her. "Hopefully, things will get better next week."
Dakota shrugged.
I'd made some progress with her. I'd shown her she could count on me, and that I was here to listen to her problems. Hopefully, we were on the right track.