Wild Hearts (The Wilde Brothers #5)

Chapter 9

9

WALKER

I t felt great to hold Addison's hand as we lapped the rink. This is how we'd spent our Friday nights. We'd skate until we were exhausted, then grab some hot chocolate, and I'd drive her home. Then we'd kiss until our lips were swollen.

Back then, I couldn't believe I'd caught her attention. She was so far out of my league. Somewhere along the way, we'd fallen in love. It might have been a young-love kind of thing, but it felt real, and I was getting flashes of those feelings now.

The problem was that Addison wouldn't even consider talking to me about our breakup much less consider giving us another try. I'd screwed up, and there was no hope of moving past it. Even if I enjoyed the feel of her hand in mine.

Each time she slipped, I steadied her until she was gliding with ease over the ice again. I liked being there for her, and I enjoyed spending time with her.

I was worried I'd only have time for Dakota, but she was a teenager, and she wanted time to herself. I could date if I wanted to, and no one else interested me as much as Addison.

She was the one woman I'd fallen in love with and the one I couldn't stop thinking of. "Did you know that I kept your picture with me all the time, and I'd get it out and stare at it when I was scared?"

Addison sucked in a breath. "You can't say things like that to me."

We separated for a few seconds to skate around a child who'd fallen and the mother who had stopped to help.

"Why not?" We weren't holding hands any longer, so it felt like there was this distance between us.

Her forehead wrinkled. "We had our chance, and it's over. There's no point in rehashing everything."

I slowed, pulling her over to the wall. We were both short of breath from the exertion of skating. "What if we moved forward? Our last relationship was when we were kids. We're adults now."

"You can't erase everything that happened," she said with a slight edge to her voice.

My stomach sunk at her tone. "I wanted to talk about what happened, but you refused. I want to respect your wishes, but I don't see how we could move on, even as friends, and not go there."

Addison glanced away. "I don't think it's a good idea."

"Why not?" She hadn't said she wasn't interested, so that was a good sign.

She winced. "You hurt me. I don't want to go through that again."

My heart squeezed at her admission. "Things are different now. I'm living here. I'm building a life in Telluride."

"What happens if Dakota is unhappy and wants to move home?" Addison's gaze was on my face.

I sighed because I hadn't thought about that.

"You'd put her first. As you should."

"You're not giving this a fair shot."

Addison just gave me a look, the one that said I didn't deserve one. "I don't think it's a good idea. I'm Dakota's social worker."

"Dakota encouraged me to talk to you, to make things right. I told her you weren't interested. But what would social-worker Addison recommend to a client? Would you tell someone to sweep their past under the rug, or would you tell them to talk about it?"

Her jaw set. "You're not being fair."

I grinned. "Am I getting somewhere?"

"Maybe." Her lips twitched.

"Would you at least consider it?" I asked her, not sure why I picked tonight to take this stance. Probably because ice-skating brought back so many memories of her being mine. I wanted to feel that again. Except this time, I wouldn't take our relationship for granted. I was older and more experienced. Now I knew what we had was special. That I couldn't find this with someone else.

Dakota skated by more confidently than I'd ever seen her. "What are you doing? Come on!"

"We're being summoned," Addison said with a smile.

"I'm not done with this."

Addison held out her hand, and I took it, allowing her to draw me onto the ice. We skated together.

When we took a break, I gave Dakota money to get drinks with her friend.

"My feet hurt. I haven't done this in so long."

"Now that we have a rink at the resort, you'll have to come more often. Say, every Friday night?"

Addison laughed. "You're relentless when you decide you want something."

"At first, I was focused on Dakota. I wanted to do right by her. But she's settling in just fine, and she doesn't need me by her side every second. Besides she's the one who encouraged me to talk to you. "

"She's just a kid. She doesn't know what happened between us."

"I told her enough. I had wanted to prove myself, and I thought I shouldn't bring you along for the ride. I'd stupidly thought I could find another girl who'd make me feel the same way. That wasn't the case. You're the one for me. The older I get, the more confident I am about that."

Addison pursed her lips. "I don't know."

"You don't have to know now. I'm just asking you to think about it. To keep your mind open to the possibilities."

Her lips widened into a smile. "I can do that."

Dakota returned with a tray of drinks. "For you."

"Thanks, Dakota." I couldn't believe I was here tonight with my two favorite people: the new girl in my life and the first one to steal my heart.

If I was smart, I wouldn't let either one of them go.

O n Sunday, we had a lazy morning. I made pancakes and we ate in our pajamas. "What do you want to do today?"

Dakota scowled. "I have some work to catch up on."

"Scarlett wanted to take you into town to go shopping for your room."

She perked up. "That sounds like fun."

"I think it's going to be Scarlett and my aunt. She wants to spend more time with you, so you might have to do lunch."

Dakota smiled. "That's okay. I don't mind."

"And then your grandparents are flying home this week. They want to see you before they leave."

"Okay."

I was selfishly looking forward to her grandparents heading home so I could have uninterrupted time with my daughter. They had the first thirteen years, and now it was my turn. I wasn't against her seeing them, but this relationship was new. I had a bad feeling that they would go to a judge and request visitation or custody. Any time I thought about it, it gave me this out-of-control feeling. It was the same sensation I got whenever I thought about Tammy not telling me about our daughter.

Why had she kept it a secret? Why hadn't she tried harder to find me? My therapist said that in order to move on, I might have to let it go. I wasn't ready to yet. It was still too fresh.

"What are you going to do while I'm shopping?"

"I can check on the cabins. See if there's anything that needs to be done."

Dakota grinned. "Or you could ask Addison if she has any plans?"

"We just saw her yesterday." And it was under the guise of spending time with Dakota. It wasn't supposed to be a date, even if it felt like one.

"You two looked close last night."

"We used to go ice-skating a lot."

"That's so sweet."

"Is Christopher in your class at school?"

"Not in my academic classes. But he's in one of my other classes."

"Are you two friends?"

She shrugged. "I just met him. He seems nice enough."

"What about that girl last night? Allie, was it?"

"Yeah, she seems nice too. I just don't know if it will be the same when I see her in school. We'll see."

Dakota was cautious. It wasn't a bad thing, but I didn't want her to hold herself back from opportunities.

"I got an email from the school about open gym this spring for volleyball. Should I sign you up?"

Dakota nodded. "That would be great. Thanks, Dad."

"We haven't talked about that, but I wanted to let you know that I really like that you call me Dad. Not that you have to. I know I haven't been there for you like that before."

"You're here now. That's what matters."

Dakota was a great kid. I was so lucky to have her in my life. If I didn't know about her, I'd still be working in the military, avoiding moving on with my life. I wouldn't have met anyone, wouldn't have settled down, and wouldn't even have considered having children. But now, everything had changed.

I was making a home for myself, getting to know my family again, and open to the possibility of convincing Addison we should give us another chance.

"You and Addison seem good together."

"We were until I broke things off." I was an idiot. But at the same time, I wasn't sure how we'd manage to continue our relationship long distance. "Maybe it was the wrong time for us."

Dakota got up and carried her plate to the sink. "And now it's the right time."

"Can you place it in the dishwasher?" I asked her. I liked things to be neat, and I wanted her to develop good habits.

"Sorry. I thought it was full."

"I'm going to get a magnet that says clean or dirty so it's clearer." At Dakota's eye roll, I said, "I know; I'm a bit of a neat freak. It's hard not to be, the way I lived in the military. Order made a lot of things run smoother, and a lot of times it meant life or death. And I know that's not the case here, but I also think it's good for you to help keep the house clean."

Dakota nodded. "Makes sense. Do I get an allowance then?"

"Did your mom give you an allowance?"

"She said that we should both help out. No one should get paid for helping out family and picking up after ourselves."

I sighed in relief. That would be an easy directive to follow, and I liked the idea of continuing with something her mom had started. "I agree."

Her nose wrinkled. "Maybe I shouldn't be so honest. "

"It would be nice to continue some of the things your mom thought were important. I appreciate you being honest with me about that."

"What kind of things would you want me to do around the house?"

"Keep your room clean. Put your dishes away. Tidy your bathroom."

"That's easy enough."

"We can always revisit it later. I wouldn't mind having some help with dishes."

"Do you think you could teach me how to cook? We had a class at school, but it was short, and we were almost always out of the ingredients and didn't get to cook much of anything."

Warmth spread through my chest that I could help her with something. "I'd love to."

"Good. I'm going to catch up on my assigned reading for the week, and then I'll get ready to meet with Scarlett."

"I told her I'd drop you off at their house."

"That works." And then she surprised me by crossing the room and hugging me. When she pulled back, she said, "I hope that's okay. Mom was a hugger."

"I don't mind." In fact, I kind of loved that my teenager wanted to hug. Everything I read said that teens could be distant. Kids who preferred cuddling suddenly wanted space. I'd prepare myself for the latter.

Dakota disappeared upstairs, and I stared at my coffee, wondering how I'd gotten so lucky. She was such a good kid. The therapist and Addison had warned me that grief could sneak up when I least expected it, so I was a little on edge wondering when that would happen with Addison.

I pulled out my phone and contemplated what I could suggest for an outing. We could go skiing or to a movie. I needed a plan. My gut said that Addison would rebuff me unless it was a good cause.

Walker: What are your plans for the day?

Addison: I'm catching up on laundry.

Walker: Want to play hooky?

Addison: What would we do?

Walker: I'm still working on that part.

Addison: What's Dakota up to?

Walker: She's going shopping with my aunt and Scarlett. I'm dropping her off in a couple of hours. Then I can swing by and pick you up.

I thought it would be best not to give her a choice. She seemed open to the idea, but now I needed something for us to do.

I jumped in the shower, got dressed, and was going downstairs when Dakota called out to me. I paused in her doorway. She was sitting in the chair I'd bought for her to read in with her foot swinging. "We don't have any holiday decorations?"

"I don't."

"Why don't you ask Addison to get a tree?"

"I thought you’d want to do that together.”

Dakota shrugged. "It would be something for you two to do together."

"I'll think about it."

"Then you could bring it home and decorate it."

"Is that romantic?" I asked her, wondering what she'd say.

She tapped her chin. "I think she'd like it."

"I don't know." My experience with dating was meeting someone for drinks at a bar. Trying to win over my ex's heart would take a lot more finesse, which I wasn't sure I had .

"There's a farmers market in town."

I tilted my head. "Did you research things to do?"

She laughed. "Maybe."

"I can handle my own love life," I called out as I jogged down the stairs. I poured another cup of coffee and read through weekend things to-do list on the town website. The farmers market was an option. But then what? Was I over thinking this?

When it was time to go, I drove to Scarlett's house where Aunt Clara and Scarlett were already waiting inside.

"There's a bookstore in town and another shop with the best pillows and throws. You're going to love it," Scarlett said.

"That sounds good," Dakota said.

For the first time, I wondered if she felt comfortable with my family. "Do you want me to go with?"

Scarlett's eyes widened. "No."

Aunt Clara shook her head.

I looked at Dakota who smiled reassuringly. "I'll be okay. You should go on your date."

I groaned and lifted my face to the ceiling.

"Date?" my aunt asked. "Who are you going on a date with?"

Scarlett leaned against the counter with an amused expression on her face. "Yes, please tell us about this date."

"Dakota is pushing me to ask Addison out."

"You already talked to her, didn't you?" Dakota said with a bit of sass.

My gaze narrowed on her. "How do you know that?"

She just gave me a look. "Didn't you?"

"Yes. I wasn't sure what we should do though. I can't just do something mediocre. This is a big deal."

"I suggested getting a tree, going to the farmers market—" Dakota trailed off.

Scarlett nodded. "Those are good ideas."

I held up a hand. "I don't need your help with dating. I can handle this. "

"Is she willing to overlook what happened before?"

"She won't talk about it though. So I don't know where that leaves us."

"You won't know if you don't try."

"I figured we could do the farmers market and see where it goes from there." I couldn't come up with anything more elaborate, but maybe I didn't need to. We could spend quality time together and reconnect. Maybe even go to one of the pizza places we frequented when we were kids and play arcade games. That was it. "I know what I'm doing."

Dakota just raised her brow.

"You really don't have any faith in me?"

"You're a nice guy."

I pulled Dakota close and gave the top of her head a noogie.

She screeched and pulled away from me.

Scarlett pointed in the direction of the bathroom, and when she was out of sight, smacked me across the chest. "You can't do that to a teenage girl!"

"I'm more used to hanging out with men," I said sheepishly. Between my brothers and coworkers, I didn't spend a lot of time with women.

"Yeah, no kidding. I hope you plan to treat Addison better than that," Scarlett teased, and it felt good to be home.

"I'm gonna head out," I called to Dakota, ready to be free of my family's scrutiny over my relationship with Addison. I was overthinking everything. It didn't have to be the perfect date. I just needed to be there for her and intentional about our next steps.

"Bye, Dad," Dakota called to me.

I'd never get used to her calling me Dad. It was the best feeling.

I texted Addison I was on my way. This time, I'd be thoughtful about our interactions. Not that I wasn't nice back then, but I wanted to be the best choice for her going forward .

When I pulled up to her house in town, my heart was racing. Why was I so nervous? We'd dated before. I knew something about her. This wasn't a blind date or someone I didn't know. Unfortunately, the pressure was there to make up for our breakup.

I had to move forward and focus on the present. Hopefully, there would be time to make amends for past mistakes.