Chapter 22
22
ADDISON
A t lunch, Crystal was rambling on about her work in Denver, her friends, and the activities she stuffed her free time with. but I couldn't focus.
My phone remained stubbornly silent, my text messages blank. I couldn't help but think that Dakota and Walker were having the time of their lives in Virginia and had no intention of returning to living here full-time.
The panic unfurled in my chest, leaving it tight.
"Have you heard anything I've said?" Crystal asked.
I winced. "I'm sorry. I'm distracted today."
She frowned. "Does it have something to do with Walker being gone?"
I nodded. "He took his daughter to visit her grandparents and her friends. I haven't heard much from them, and I'm worried."
"This is where Dakota grew up and lived with her mother?"
I nodded miserably.
Her forehead wrinkled. "So you're worried that they'll…what? Move there?"
I swallowed hard. "Yes. "
"Is that a realistic possibility?"
"I think so. He'll do anything to make his daughter happy. If she wants to move, then I have no doubt he would. He left me when he enlisted. This feels eerily similar to that. Except I didn't see the signs then."
"Are you sure it's not your past history with him that's guiding these thoughts?"
I'd been busy with my sister, but Walker and I usually texted more often. "What if he's changed his mind, and doesn't know how to tell me? He's waiting until he gets home to give me the bad news."
"Why don't you ask him?"
"I think they're on a plane now." I'd definitely thought about it, but every time my fingers touched my phone, I felt like someone who was out of control.
"You'll have to wait until they come home to ask him what's going on."
"You act like it's not a big deal."
Crystal shrugged. "If he wants to move, he'll let you know. He told you last time when he wanted to enlist. It's not like you were left in the dark and had to figure it out."
"Why are you being so pragmatic about this?"
"I only go with what I can see and what I know. Right now, you don't have all the information, so there's no point in speculating and getting upset."
"When did you get so black-and-white about relationships?" She was passionate about her job and her friends. When had I missed her approach with men?
She shrugged. "I refuse to get caught up in the relationship drama. If someone wants to be with me, he'll tell me. If not, then I'm happy with my life."
Could I be that detached? "I think that's hard to do when your heart is involved. "
Crystal wagged a finger at me. "You can't let your heart get involved. That's how you get hurt."
"Then you'll never fall in love."
Crystal shrugged for a second time. "I'm happy with my life."
She was younger than me, but something about this conversation bothered me. "You're not interested in a relationship ever?"
"I don't want to get involved in anything that would distract me from what's important: work and friends. I live a full, happy life."
"Yikes. Who hurt you?" I joked, not really expecting an answer, but pain crossed over her face. Something had to have happend for her to have this closed-off view of relationships.
"If he wants to move his daughter to Virginia, couldn't you go with him? You could work your job anywhere."
"That's true, but I stayed here to be close to Mom and Dad."
"I live close. In the same state at least."
I gave her a look. "You're not exactly reliable."
"I could be if I had to be. You're the big sister. The responsible one. The one who always steps in."
Was that sarcasm? Did she not like the role I played in the family? "You would check in on Mom and Dad, call from time to time, and even visit?"
"I can do that." Her brow furrowed. "What? You don't believe me?"
I wanted to believe her. But it was hard. I was used to being the one who checked in on Mom and Dad. Could I relegate that responsibility to someone else?
"Do you love him? Isn't that what this conversation is about?" Crystal asked.
"Of course I love him."
"Then you should be willing and able to move. There's no reason for you to stay here. His family lives here, so you'll be able to visit often. "
Was I willing to move to Virginia? "I want to be with Walker and Dakota."
"Exactly. Problem solved." Crystal looked pleased with herself.
"What if he doesn't want me to come with them? What if this is his chance for a clean break?"
Her eyes narrowed on me. "Has he given you any indication that this is just a temporary fling? A friends-with-benefits kind of situation?"
I thought back to his pleas to give him a second chance. "I don’t think so.”
"Then I wouldn't worry about it."
She made it sound so easy. But that was because she was hiding her heart behind a fortress. I went into this relationship more vulnerable. I opened myself up to Walker despite our history.
Our food arrived, and we dug into the pasta dishes. We talked about her plans for the rest of the week, and I pushed my worries to the back of my mind.
After we ate, I hugged her and wished her a safe trip to Denver. She was eager to get back to her life in the city with her busy social calendar. But now I had nothing to distract me from Walker until he came home.
I debated how to fill my time and finally settled on cleaning my house. I slipped on headphones with some good tunes, and went room by room, decluttering and cleaning. It was cathartic.
When the house was done, I was hot and sweaty, but I had several bags of clothes to donate. Nothing felt better than clearing out clutter.
I took off my headphones and heard knocking on my door. Confused, I opened the door to find Walker. "What are you doing here?"
"I said I was coming home today." His gaze slipped down to where I wore a tank top and soft shorts. Appropriate for a day at home but not for seeing him. I stepped back to let him inside. He was just here to break up with me. There wasn't a need to dress up and show him what he was missing. Apparently, I was easy to walk away from.
Why did my mind immediately assume he wouldn't want me to go with him?
"How was your weekend?" he asked me as he followed me inside, stepping around the donation bags.
"I spent a lot of time with my sister, and I cleaned the house."
He raised a brow. "I can see that. Is everything okay?"
"I'm just a mess from cleaning. What did you want to talk about?"
His forehead wrinkled. "Can we sit down?"
It was customary to sit someone down when you broke up with them. "Of course." I led the way to the couch and sat gingerly on the edge of the cushion. As soon as he was done with whatever it was he had to say, I'd usher him out before I broke down. I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of seeing me in pain. Not this time. I was older and more mature.
He sat next to me.
"How was your visit?" I asked politely.
"It was good. A little awkward at first, but I think Blanche and Dennis want the best for Dakota."
"That's good."
"I was worried at first they'd insist on some formal kind of visitation with the courts. But they didn't mention it. Dakota enjoyed seeing her friends again."
"That's where she grew up. That's understandable."
"I talked to her about what she wanted to do and where she wanted to live."
My shoulders tensed. Here was what I'd been waiting for. The gentle let down. It wouldn't make sense for me to ask you to go with me. I like you, but it's not enough. You're not enough.
"She likes her life in Colorado. "
I couldn't take it anymore. My heart was racing and my fingers twitching from nerves. "But she prefers Virginia. That's where she grew up. It makes sense. You want to do the best thing for her as her father."
His forehead creased. "That wasn't what I was going to say."
I tipped my head to the side. "No?"
"Not even close. I was eager to get home to you because I wanted to tell you that our life is here in Colorado. My family is here, and Dakota likes it here. Plus, you're here. I want to build a life here with you."
"I don't understand. I thought Dakota would want to move back to Virginia. That you'd want to do what was best for her."
"The trip was good for both of us. We got to see how it would be if we moved there, and neither of us liked being away from you or my family. Our life is here with you."
I couldn't believe he was saying everything I wanted to hear. "I was willing to move to Virginia if that's what you wanted. I don't want you to regret staying here."
"If at some point we want to do that, then we'll discuss it together. I want you to be part of our decisions going forward and part of our lives. Holidays. Celebrations. Nothing is as good if you're not there."
I climbed into his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck. "I need a shower."
"Just so happens, I could use one too." He stood, easily lifting me as I wrapped my legs around his hips. He carried me to my bathroom while we kissed, setting my feet down on the tiled floor. He turned on the water in the shower, then returned to me, where he lifted my tank top over my head, and I pushed down my shorts.
"I missed you so much."
"I missed you too," I said as I pushed his shirt up his torso. His skin was warm to the touch.
"I've been thinking about this all day. "
"Where's Dakota?"
"She's hanging out with Joey at Oliver and Carolina's house. I dropped her off on the way. She wanted to give us time to reconnect and for me to ask you to be a part of our life."
I frowned. "Did you ask? It sounded like more of a request."
He took off his clothes and pulled me into the stream of warm water. "Addison Montgomery, will you spend your life with me and Dakota?"
It wasn't a proposal of marriage. It was him including me in his life in the way I'd always dreamed of. It left no question as to where I stood. "I'd love that."
I hooked my wrists around his neck and pressed my body against his. His thigh slipped between mine, and he kissed me. It felt like I was finally free. There were no more worries about whether he was going to pick me in the end, because he had. And I had no doubt he'd spend the rest of his life proving that to me.
He lifted me so that my back was pressed against the cool tiles and entered me in one stroke. It felt like a claiming, a declaration that I was his, that I'd always be his. Each pass of his dick only strung me tighter, and when I finally exploded in his arms, I knew I was safe with him. That I belonged.
He carefully soaped my skin, and then my hair, before rinsing me off, and handing me a fluffy towel.
In my bedroom, we got into bed, still naked. "Do you have to go home to Dakota?"
"She's babysitting Joey tonight so Oliver and Carolina can go out. I don't have to pick her up until eleven, and she's already said she could stay overnight. She usually can't stay up that late."
"Are you saying we have the night to ourselves?" We'd never spent time like this in my house. I liked it, but I preferred his cabin.
"All night if you want it."
"Oh, I want it." My fingers played with his hair .
"I never want to be apart like that again. Will you come with me the next time we travel to Virginia?"
I nodded, happiness overflowing. "I'd love to."
"And spend every holiday with us, taking me and Dakota to see your family too?"
I nodded, emotion threatening to overwhelm me.
"You won't be able to get rid of me now. I'll be with you wherever you go."
He smiled, playing with my hair.
"That sounds like the best thing ever." When I was eighteen, I never imagined that Walker would walk back into my life. That he'd ask for a second chance.
The thought of spending forever with him made my heart beat wildly.