Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
OLIVER
W e ate snacks, laughing at the character's antics on the screen. Joey cuddled into my side. The only thing better would have been if I could have sat next to Carolina too. But I understood why she sat on the other side of Joey.
This wasn't a date. We weren't a couple. I hadn't told him we had any kind of relationship outside of a professional one. And there was no need to tell him about it. Soon, Carolina would be gone.
When the movie ended, I nodded at Joey. "Should I carry him to bed?"
"Mmm. Let him sleep here. That's what we promised him."
We had promised him a night camping in our living room. I gestured for us to move outside of the fort.
There were still cushions on half of the sectional. Joey was sleeping inside the fort, and with the roof, he couldn't see us on the couch. I was planning to take advantage of that. I lay down first and gestured for Carolina to sit in front of me.
I hit Play on another holiday movie. I didn't care what we were watching as long as we were together .
When Joey was taking a bath, I'd moved the Christmas tree from the hallway into the living room so we could watch the lights flicker. The fire was burning in the hearth, and there was holiday music playing on the movie.
As Carolina snuggled against me, I couldn't think of a time when I'd felt happier, more content. My hand was on her stomach, and she wore cozy-looking sweats. It would be nothing for me to slide my hand underneath the waistband.
I pressed her tight against me and nibbled on her earlobe.
She relaxed into me, sighing.
"Are you okay with fooling around?" I whispered.
She turned slightly to face me, and said quietly, "It depends on how you feel."
"I feel like I'm a teenager copping a feel while my parents are in the other room."
"Oh, I like that," she murmured as I kissed her lips. The angle was awkward, but I was too desperate for her to care. This was our last night together.
I eased my hand under her waistband, then paused when I encountered nothing but smooth, bare skin. "No panties?"
Carolina shrugged. "I just took a shower."
It was convenient for me. My fingers easily slid between her already-wet folds, and I dipped one into her hot channel. She widened her legs and lifted her hips, encouraging me to go deeper. My hand rubbed against her clit with every pass. I continued kissing her because I didn't want her to wake Joey.
I alternated between fingering her and tweaking her nipples. I'd shoved her shirt up high enough that her breasts were visible and the sight was making me hard. I pressed against her backside and pushed my fingers deeper inside her, using a come-hither motion to find her G-spot.
When she jerked against me and moaned, I knew I was close. Then I found the tell-tale rough patch on her wall and continued to stroke it. Her entire body tensed, and then she was crashing, her limbs shaking, her walls pressing tight around my fingers.
I rode her through the orgasm, and as she came down, she turned in my arms, kissing me. Then she was moving down, pulling my sweats with her.
My hand landed in her hair. "What are you doing?"
"My boyfriend needs my mouth."
"Mmm." I liked the fantasy where we were teenagers fooling around with our parents in the next room. We had to be quiet. It made all my senses more heightened. Unable to voice my pleasure, I nodded encouragement to her, and she grinned.
She was naughty, and I loved every minute of it. She pulled her shirt over her head and shoved her sweatpants down so that she was naked. If Joey woke, I could quickly throw a blanket over her. I shouldn't have chanced it, but I wanted to see her bare skin. It might be the last time we'd be together.
The lights from the tree and the fire illuminated her pale skin. Her black hair blocked the side of her face as she cupped my dick and worked me over. Then she licked the tip of my cock and down the side. She was determined to drive me crazy.
I stifled a groan and held my body rigid. She played me hard and fast, squeezing my cock as she swallowed my length, hollowing her cheeks and using her tongue to make me feel good. In no time, I was squirting my release down her throat. It was the best orgasm I'd had in a long time. It had something to do with the circumstances and the need to be quiet. I wished we could do more. I wanted to sink inside her. But it wasn't the time or place.
She moved up my body, laying over me. I was still mostly clothed, but she was naked. I'd enjoy this for a few minutes before I prompted her to get dressed. We couldn't be too careful. Joey usually slept through the night, but he might be uncomfortable in the fort.
A few seconds later, Carolina got up and got dressed. Then she draped her body over mine while the movie played. I stroked her hair and her back, wishing we could do this every night. How amazing would my life be?
I woke to the smell of eggs and bacon, and Joey jumping on the couch near my feet. "Wake up, sleepyhead."
I rubbed a hand over my face. "What time is it?"
"Seven. Uncle Xander said the roads in town are cleared, so he's coming to help you dig out."
"You read my text messages?" I asked, still feeling groggy.
Guilt passed over his face. "Uh-huh. It was important though."
"Right."
Carolina moved so that she was standing in front of us. "How do you like your eggs?"
"However you want to make them." I wasn't picky, but I loved seeing her holding one of my spatulas still wearing her clothes from last night and her hair a tangled mess. She was my mess, and I wanted to wake up to her always.
She smiled, then moved into the kitchen again.
My heart ached because today there wouldn't be any playing in the snow or boardgames in the great room. I'd be busy supervising the cleanup and coordinating getting the guests to their destinations.
Everyone would want to leave, and I had to slip into the role of hotel manager until Eli was home.
I sat up, the room spinning slightly as I adjusted to being upright. "What happened to the fort?"
The blankets were resting on the pillows. Joey shrugged. "It fell down. "
"Did you have fun last night?" I asked him, my voice rough from sleep.
Joey's eyes were bright as he snuggled into my side. "Can Carolina sleep over again?"
I ran a hand through my hair. "Oh, I don't know. She probably has a flight out soon. She has to go home to see her family."
His face fell. "Oh."
"All the guests are going home soon." That's all Carolina was, a guest at the lodge. If I'd gotten a little too close to her, that was my problem. Not his.
"Breakfast is almost ready," Carolina called.
"I'm going to brush my teeth," I said to him as I headed for the bathroom. I needed to freshen up, and I needed a few minutes to gather myself. Carolina would be leaving soon, and I didn't feel great about it.
I brushed my teeth and washed my face, putting on fresh clothes before I headed into the kitchen. There was no point in showering before I worked outside.
In the kitchen, there was a plate of eggs and bacon waiting for me, along with a steaming mug of coffee.
"I figured you could use a good breakfast since you had to clear snow this morning."
"I wish I didn't," I said as I sat down.
Carolina placed a plate of toasted bread in the center of the table and then sat across from me. Joey had already finished eating and was watching TV in the living room.
"When is your flight out?" I steeled myself against her answer.
"It's tonight, but I can't imagine it will go out on time."
"The airport is probably already cleared out. They move quickly in storms like this. They're never closed for long."
"Oh?" she asked, putting down her fork and picking up her phone. Her forehead creased as she scrolled through the website. "You're right. It's on time. "
"You'll be able to see your family." I should have been happy for her, but instead, I felt empty. How could I let her go?
"I just assumed it would be delayed." She looked as upset as I felt.
"We'll get the parking lot and driveway cleared so you can get to the airport. I'm sure Arthur, Amy, and Dean will want to get on their way."
"Of course."
I was back in manager mode, and I couldn't slow down to think about what it meant that she was leaving today. It was inevitable. It's what we planned for, yet it hurt. The thought of her not staying in the lodge tonight sucked.
I ate while Carolina chatted about the snow removal and the weather. She was talking to fill the air, and my throat was too tight to speak.
I drank my coffee, hoping it would keep me alert for the day. I felt nothing but dread for what was to come. Carolina would leave, and Joey and I would be alone again. We had our family, but it wasn't enough. I'd gotten used to Carolina being around. I enjoyed her company, and I didn't want to wait four months to see her again.
"What are you going to do today?" I asked her when my plate was clear and I was sipping my second mug of coffee.
"I thought I'd pack and help Marcus in the kitchen. Do you need help with Joey? I could keep an eye on him."
"He'll like that." Usually Marcus looked after him. But I trusted Carolina, and Joey adored her.
My phone buzzed, and I turned it over to read the screen.
Xander: Get up, sleepyhead. The cavalry arrived to rescue you.
I snorted.
"Who is it?" Carolina asked softly .
What would it be like to wake up to her every morning, her smile and her sweet countenance? "Xander. He wants me to help."
"You'd better get going then." Carolina stood to clear the dishes, but I wasn't ready to start the day. I slipped a look at Joey who was engrossed by the TV, not even looking in our direction. I followed her to the sink and wrapped my arms around her.
She stilled.
"I'm going to miss you."
She touched my hands, then spun away from me, placing the dishes in the sink. "I'll be back before you know it."
My stomach dropped. She was okay with leaving. She wanted to go home to see her family. I couldn't blame her. I wouldn't want to be away from my family at the holidays either.
With a sigh, I grabbed gloves and a hat, and told Joey to be good for Carolina. He was excited to spend the day with her, and I couldn't blame him. I wanted to do the same. Instead, I headed outside where Xander was already shoveling the front walk. "Where've you been? Sleeping away the morning?"
"I had to feed Joey." Except I hadn't. That had been Carolina. I hoped he didn't read the guilt on my expression.
"Instead of waiting for the service, I thought we'd get a head start on the shoveling. I'm sure the guests are eager to leave."
Every word about Carolina leaving was like a knife stab to the chest. And the worst part was that she wanted to leave. She didn't want more with me and Joey. I couldn't blame her. Who would have signed up for a ready-made family, especially when I hadn't told her the truth from the beginning? She'd been great with Joey, but that didn't mean she was signing up to be his stepmom.
I had to forget about this silly vision of us being a family. Nothing had changed. She still lived in Maine, and my base was here in Colorado.
"Eli said that the conference person is still here. What's her name? Caroline?"
"Carolina, actually."
"I bet she's pissed about having to cancel."
"She wasn't happy." I wasn't comfortable talking about Carolina at all. I was worried I'd let something slip.
We worked all morning and took a break at lunch time. Inside, Carolina sat next to Joey at the table.
Marcus approached. "Amy and Deacon are anxious to leave."
"We'll have them out in no time," Xander said.
We sat down at the table, and Marcus brought us a huge sandwich with chips and a lemonade. "You're the best, Marcus. Thank you."
"Well, you were the ones doing the heavy lifting this morning." He disappeared into the kitchen, and I dug in.
Carolina had already eaten and was coaxing Joey to eat his strawberries. It was nice watching someone else care for my son. Tina didn't worry about whether he'd slept well or eaten healthy. She didn't lose sleep over whether she was being a good enough parent. Carolina would make a great mother one day. If that's what she wanted to do.
My heart constricted, and my breath was short. I hated the idea of her leaving. It made my throat tight and my eyes burn. But I wouldn't stand in the way of her going home to see her family. Maybe after the holidays, I'd reconsider what my next step should be.
"I bet you're excited to head home," Arthur said to Carolina, and my fingers tightened on my glass.
Carolina smiled politely. "I always spend it with my mother and sister."
She'd mentioned something about them having significant others and her being worried about what that meant for her and spending the holidays together. Did she feel the pinch of loneliness too? Did she long to have someone to share the holidays with? I had to stop thinking like this. Of course she wanted to see her family. Ever since her father left, they were all she had.
I was just a fling she happened to get snowed in with.
"I'm going to miss you. Do you think you could stay?" Joey asked, and for the first time, I wondered if he was longing for a mother.
"Oh, I'd love to spend Christmas with you, but then my mom would be sad. She’d miss me."
Joey's face fell. "Oh, yeah."
"Carolina has a conference in April. So we'll see her then." I wasn't sure if we'd still be talking then or if she'd even want to continue our arrangement. Was I capable of seeing her again and keeping my emotions in check?
Joey’s lower lip protruded. "That's months away."
Carolina looked at me helplessly.
I was fairly sure that Joey would forget about Carolina. She’d only spent a day with him. But I was in a different predicament. She'd gotten under my skin and made me want things I couldn't have. I just had to get through today and the goodbye. Then I could put her out of my mind. I hadn't been successful in the past, but maybe this time would be different.
I knew I was kidding myself. The memories of the time we spent together would always be in the back of my mind. I'd always wonder what if.
"Who wants cookies?" Marcus dropped a plate of decorated sugar cookies in front of us, and Joey cheered before snagging two of them.
I silently thanked Marcus for the timely interruption. It would be easier to deal with Joey's disappointment after Carolina was gone. As a child, he'd easily forget about her. It was me I was worried about.