35. HOPE
CHAPTER 35
HOPE
I don’t understand what’s happening right now, but I’m not complaining.
Somehow, I went from planning to hit our fave taco joint in Mills Avenue with my roomies, to hallucinating that Cade might’ve been about to ask me out for dinner, to ending up in a full group dinner and cramped in a too small booth…
Smack between Cade on my left and Rose on my right.
Rose has no chill, too. Like I know the booth is fairly small and all, but she doesn’t have to keep pushing me into Cade so hard. The poor guy had to rest his right arm on the backrest to not get completely crushed. But it also means that I’m flush against his side, and it’s shocking how well we fit. If I fully melt into his side I’ll never want to leave.
Besides, he has no business smelling so good. I just knew it was him catching me when I slipped earlier by the scent alone. Then my body remembered that yeah, that was how it felt when he feverishly wrapped himself around me, and that was all the confirmation I needed to know it was him.
And these are all the reasons why I’m currently dying right now.
Across from us are Rivera, Audrey, and Logan. Audrey’s also kind of crushed between the two huge men, but none of them look anywhere near as bothered as I am.
If Rose pushes me one more time… I send her a glare and she keeps her attention set on Kim in front of her.
“Great restaurant choice, Kim,” Rose says with a cute little grin.
“Yes, plenty of protein.” He motions at Cade’s plate. “Why aren’t you eating?”
“I’m trying but I don’t even know where to start.” Cade’s voice rumbles through his body and as a result, through mine. It travels all across my skin and settles like a ball of fire in my chest.
Rivera motions at his plate, where he demonstrates how to use a fork and knife. “Watch this, bro. This is how you use utensils.”
“Screw you,” is the rapid comeback.
Meanwhile, Rose leans to whisper in my ear. “You may also want to focus on the beef on your plate and not the beefcake by your side.”
“What he just said,” I spit back.
Cade moves and I stop breathing. He brings his arm up around me and has to lean forward until the table’s wedged in his stomach just so he can use both hands. He starts cutting up his massive steak and veggies to bite size pieces furiously, and next thing he’s returning to the previous position against the backrest, turning himself into my backrest. He stabs a piece of meat with the fork in his left hand, and brings it up to his mouth.
Rose smacks my thigh with enough strength to smart. I know she’s thinking what I’m thinking but I can’t believe I’m even thinking it. Is the cowboy into this?
Because I’m really into it. And I hope we never have to leave this booth. Bless every single person that jam packed this restaurant and forced us to take a booth that sits six normal people, but not when three of them are massive baseball players.
*
Unfortunately, time goes by fast when you’re having fun. Too soon we finish eating and we have to leave because more people keep arriving, and we do have a road trip tomorrow morning.
“Okay, I can definitely drive back the people who came with me, but I need to stop at the pharmacy on the way,” Audrey tells the group once we’re standing outside the restaurant. We came in two cars, hers and Cade’s, all girls in one vehicle and all boys in the other. “So, if anyone has any issues let me know.”
“Actually, I also need to stop by for toothpaste,” Rivera says and turns to Kim. “Didn’t you say you need baby wipes?”
Kim tightens his jaw so tight that we all see a muscle jump. “Right.” I’m shocked he doesn’t deny it.
“Guess we’ll catch up to you, then.” Rose looks at Cade first, then at me.
And that’s when it clicks.
Did—Did the four of them just set us up?
Untucking his tongue from against his cheek, Cade looks at me and says, “Shall we?”
“Uh, sí. Sure. Let’s.”
I duck from everybody’s sight because their attention is what’s making my tongue tie up. At least they have the decency not to laugh at me as Cade and I walk away together.
Together, I say, even though we’re like six feet apart.
Our steps echo in the quiet of the parking lot as I follow Cade to his black pickup truck. He unlocks it and I jump into the passenger seat in a flash, and Cade pauses outside, watching me with eyes narrowed in thought.
Confused, I wait until he also climbs in to ask, “What was that?”
He hums from his throat as he buckles up and turns on the truck. “I was just wondering if you like to open and close car doors yourself or for the guy to do it.”
My heart rises and threatens to kick my brain off its socket, but brain prevails. “Oh, is this a date coaching moment?” I stroke my chin in thought like I see him do often. “I’m usually much faster than them and get to the door first.”
“Does that mean if I get to the door faster you won’t get upset if I open it for you?”
We stare at each other for a moment long enough that the automatic lights go off. His eyes almost glow from the reflection of the streetlights and my mind, ever so, helpful reminds me of his body pressed up against mine earlier.
I look away. “Actually, I’d probably get mad. I’m an independent woman capable of handling a car door. I guess that’s what makes me undatable.”
“You’re not undatable,” he whispers just over the twangs of an old school country song playing in the background. His right hand caresses the steering wheel as he turns the truck into traffic. “The assholes who didn’t value you are the undatable ones.”
I have to sit on my hands to not reach for him and—what?
Kiss him? As if.
Ugh, but I want to. I really do. I just don’t know how. I guess I could straight up ask him if he’d be willing to switch roles from dating coach to date, but I don’t trust myself to not act like an absolute twerp if he says yes or no.
I need a clue that he may be open to that idea, but he’s like a freaking vault. In fact, we drive the rest of the way back to the ballpark with only the music to fill the silence. Not hearing his voice, even if it’s to tease me and annoy me, makes me increasingly more nervous. Somehow I’m much more aware of him when he’s quiet, like the need to know what he’s thinking—about me, let’s be honest—grows hungrier in his silence.
I break when we’re two blocks away from the facilities. “So… Are you doing okay after the whole mess yesterday?”
Wow, way to ease into a casual conversation.
He does the chin stroke thing. “I suppose so, but I’m kinda dreading going home now.”
I jerk. “Because you don’t want to be alone now?”
“Well.” He flashes a glance at me before focusing on the road again. “I recognized one of them, she’s followed me around my neighborhood before.”
I suck in all the air in the cabin. “Wait, Cade. You had a stalker and you didn’t tell anyone?”
“Lou knows now—my agent.”
“Cade…”
“I just don’t want to make a big deal about this.”
I bite my lip. I can imagine how anyone in his situation would want to pretend like nothing’s wrong, hoping that makes it all go away. But that’s not usually how it happens, and yet I can’t badger him about this and make him even more uncomfortable than he already is. Especially not when the minds of baseball pitchers are famous for being delicate.
He’s not the most fragile guy around, considering everything he has gone through, but I can’t believe that this hasn’t affected him.
I soften my voice. “Cade, I want you to know that if you need me I’ll be there, okay?” And I mean it as a friend for life if that’s how he’ll have me.
He’s badging us in through the parking lot gate and when he’s done, he tosses a little smirk my way. “You’ll beat the women off me?”
“If I have to.” I shrug. “Maybe I’ll just order a T-shirt that says SECURITY at the back and keep it around at all times.”
“Hmm, how should I compensate you for your services?”
Erm, I can think of a few ways and none of them would keep things friendly between us.
“Trail mix,” I blurt out without thought. Cade drives his truck into a parking spot two spaces removed from my yellow Jeep, giving me some time to form an explanation. “You ate all of mine, so you owe me for that.”
“Don’t I owe you way bigger time for what you did yesterday?” he asks as he turns off the engine.
“Nope. You paid that off today, remember?”
His face starts turning my way and I don’t know. My flight reflex kicks in because both my logical brain and my amygdala know that if I stay in his car for too long, I’m going to do something I’ll regret. I open the door and jump out like it’s an Olympic sport. Palming my joggers, I produce my car keys and click it open. There’s some noise behind me as I open my car door and climb in.
But before I can even grab my door handle to close it, he’s there. And by there I mean here.
Cade leans into my door, arm propped up at the top as he bends lower to look at my face. “Hey, Hope?”
I swallow hard.
“Yes, Cade?”
“Before you run all the way home, can I close your car door without you getting mad at me?” How dare he ask this and then give me this slow, cheeky grin that makes him look absolutely adorable?
And of course my breath hitches, and my voice sounds all weird when I speak. “Fine, if it’s you I’ll allow it.”
Without another word, he leans away and shuts my door, stepping back with his hands on his pockets. The smile in his eyes keeps me company as I drive home on my own.