Wild Promises (The Wilde Brothers #4)

Chapter 1

1

XANDER

New Years Eve

E verything was changing. I didn't have a good feeling about it.

I leaned an elbow on the bar, nursing my lukewarm beer. On the dance floor, Eli was dancing with Scarlett. When the door opened to the ballroom, Oliver walked in with his new girlfriend, Carolina. Both my brothers were happy because they'd recently met the loves of their lives.

Now Eli and Scarlett were living together in his penthouse apartment, and Oliver moved Carolina from Maine to Colorado and into one of the family's condos in the lodge. I still rented an apartment above a little shop in town that smelled like fresh donuts every morning.

My brothers were settling down, and I had no way of knowing what that meant for me.

The music notes drifted off, and Eli led Scarlett in my direction. I straightened, checking to make sure my tie wasn’t askew. No matter what I looked like, he'd probably have something to say about my attire or my performance. I couldn't do anything right when it came to my family. According to my brothers, I was immature, irresponsible, and didn't take anything seriously.

Eli stopped in front of me. "It's almost time for the ball to drop. We're going outside."

Everything inside me tightened. I was by myself despite the few women who'd stopped by to talk. I didn't want to watch everyone else kiss their significant other at midnight, but my presence was required apparently. "Be right out."

Scarlett smiled, but Eli's expression was stoic.

The crowd filtered outside and onto the large deck that showcased views of the mountain. Tonight, there would be fireworks, and no one wanted to miss them. I just wanted to go home and sleep.

I drank the last drops of beer, slammed the bottle on the counter, then followed the tail end of the guests heading outside. I found a spot at the end of the railing where I'd have a good view of the fireworks, but with any luck, I could slip out before the show was over.

I heard someone counting and others joining in. Usually, I would have talked up a girl all night, and it would have been a no-brainer to kiss her, but tonight, I wasn't interested. I had a certain reputation of being a ladies' man. But I hadn't taken a woman home in a long time. Not that anyone would believe me.

There was a murmur as someone tried to make their way through the crowd. I was interested only because I wanted to make sure that whoever it was wouldn't impede my pending escape.

When the crowd parted, a blond woman appeared, her gaze intent on me. My stomach dipped. "Tori Clark?”

Tori grinned as she wrapped her arms around me, and I was able to exhale for the first time all night. "The one and only."

I held her to me. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm home for the holiday, silly," she said into my chest.

"Ten. Nine. Eight."

Tori looked up at me.

"Kissing at midnight is good luck," I said.

"Seven. Six. Five."

"If you're in a relationship," she pointed out.

We were not. She'd been my best friend since we were kids, and I'd crushed on her since I was a teenager.

"Four. Three. Two. One." Cheers erupted through the crowd.

I kissed her on the cheek, because how could I not? My best friend was home, and she was in my arms. There was a roaring in my ears, drowning out the crowd noise and the start of the fireworks.

"You never said you were coming home."

Tori pulled back and gave me a look. "You haven't exactly been open to communication lately."

Ever since she’d started dating a surgeon, I distanced myself from her. I didn't want to hear about how happy she was, or that they were getting engaged soon. I looked over her head, wondering why her boyfriend wasn't the one kissing her at midnight. "Where's your boyfriend?"

Tori looked away from me. "He's working."

In other words, her boyfriend was still in New York, and he'd let her travel home for the holidays without him.

Feeling someone's gaze on me, I looked up to find Eli watching me from where he stood next to Oliver and Carolina.

I lowered my gaze to Tori. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you while I was home." I heard the hurt in her voice, but I couldn't bring myself to apologize. "Things haven't been the same between us."

"What did you expect? You went off to school and never came back." Not like she promised she would.

She blinked. "I texted. I visited. But you're always busy. I miss our friendship."

I rubbed the pain in my chest. "I miss it too."

"You want to get a drink and talk?"

"Sure." I led her over to the side of the deck, away from the curious looks from my brothers, where a fire was roaring in the hearth. "I'll be right back."

My mouth was dry. I asked the bartender for popcorn and two drinks. Then I carried them through the crowd, who had mostly reconvened inside to dance to the live band and drink. My brothers weren't around. I assumed they'd both retreated to their respective rooms for alone time with their women.

Outside, I set the tray on the coffee table in front of the couch. I grabbed a throw blanket and draped it over our laps before handing her the glass.

"You look good," Tori said to me.

"You do too." She'd always looked good. She was beautiful, not that I'd ever tell her that. She was my friend. My best friend. And friends didn't notice how attractive they were, not when they valued their friendship.

Tori was the one person who believed in me, and I wouldn't do anything to mess up that connection. Not for an inconvenient crush. I'd gone this long without acting on it; I wouldn't do anything to mess up our friendship now.

"What have you been up to?" Tori asked.

No one asked about me. Not really. Everyone knew I worked at the resort. Nothing had ever changed in that regard, and it wouldn't. "I work here."

She looked at me like she cared what I had to say, as if working at my family's resort was some kind of accomplishment. They let me work here because it was expected.

"Are you happy?"

That question hit me in the gut. No one ever asked me that. They just assumed I was. "I don't know."

She laughed softly, and the sound wrapped around my heart, conjuring all kinds of childhood memories, like hiding in the lodge from my brothers while playing hide-and-seek. She always had trouble being quiet. She'd start giggling and wouldn't be able to stop. "You're working on your family's resort. That's what you always wanted to do."

"True." According to my brothers, I didn't have ambition to do anything else. It was just expected that I continue organizing the ski lessons and other outdoor activities. "How about you? You enjoying living in New York?"

Her shoulders dropped. "To be honest, I'm a little tired of the city. It's noisy and big. I feel lost sometimes."

"Things with the boyfriend are good though?" I asked, even though I didn't want to know the details.

"You mean Hugh?" At my nod, she added, "We're fine."

Fine wasn't great. But I refused to be interested in what that meant. Even if Tori wasn't happy with Hugh, she wasn't going to break up with him to go out with me. She didn't even know I harbored this crush on her.

"Do you remember that pact we had when we were kids?"

I shook my head even as my mind ran through the details of that day. We'd been seventeen and worried about what we'd do with our lives. To be fair, Tori was more worried about it than I had been. Her dad was a doctor who owned a practice in town. He expected her to return and run it with him. My family didn't expect much from me, so I kind of went along with the flow. But that day, Tori had felt the pressure.

We'd skied on the one trail that flattened through the woods. It was one of Tori's favorites because it wasn't a straight slope. We wandered off the path to a tree where I had helped Tori carve in our initials. "You said if we're not married by the time we're thirty, we'd marry each other." I hadn't been worried about the vow because thirty had seemed so far away. "It looks like you're off the hook because you'll be marrying your doctor."

"But what about you?" Tori asked, concern etched in the lines on her forehead.

"What about me?" No one expected me to get married. I was the good-time guy.

She lifted her chin. "Are you seeing anyone?"

I gave Tori the smile, the one that charmed more women than I could count. "You know I don't kiss and tell."

Tori leveled me with an even look. "You're not seeing anyone seriously?"

I shook my head and looked away. My charm had never worked on Tori, and maybe that was how we’d become such good friends. She wasn't interested in me that way. I felt differently when I was around her, like I could be myself. I didn't have to put on a front. "No desire to. You don't have to worry about the pact; you're with Hugh."

"I don't know."

"You don't know if he's the one?" I wasn't sure why that possibility was attractive to me.

"We work all the time. We don't really spend time together, you know?"

I nodded, even though I didn't know what a doctor's life in the city was like. I could imagine long hours, sleepless nights, and late-night dinners and drinks at trendy restaurants. That life might appeal to some people, but I preferred to spend my time outdoors. "Are you having second thoughts about him?"

Tori shrugged and attempted to smile, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. "I'm questioning everything lately."

"I thought your dream was to work in a small-town doctor's office?" It was the one thing that had always bothered me about Tori. Why hadn't she come home after her residency? Why had she stayed in the city? When I heard about her surgeon boyfriend, everything clicked into place. Who wouldn't want to marry a doctor? They were rich and successful, so much more than I'd ever be.

"It was, but plans change. Dreams change."

"Right," I said, even though I couldn't relate. I'd always wanted to be in nature. I wouldn't have been happy cooped up in an office.

"Everyone says I'm living my dream life, but it doesn't feel like it. It's all work, and I realize I have an important job. Hugh too. But?—"

"You want more?" I asked, desperate to find the old Tori under the makeup.

Tori pursed her lips. "I'm just tired. I worked a long shift yesterday, then got a late flight here."

"Christmas was last week. You're a little late for the holidays."

"I couldn't get away for Christmas. I try to let the doctors with families spend that time with them."

I couldn't fault her for that. "When do you go back?"

Tori grimaced. "Tomorrow, actually. I'm working."

"A quick trip." But I was positive her parents were happy to see her.

"It was nice to be home though. My parents were thrilled."

I shifted on the couch, trying to ease the tension in my neck. "How are your parents?"

Tori turned so that she was facing me. "Dad's talking about retiring."

"Wow. I can't imagine him not working." But he was getting older. They'd had Tori in their early forties, so that made him in his late sixties now.

"He wants to sell the practice."

"You don't want to take it over?" That had always been her dream. She'd go to school, then come home and take over the practice. I'd given up on hoping it was reality. Instead, she'd stayed in the city and rarely made the long trek home.

"He didn't ask me to. I think he assumes I'll marry Hugh and stay in the city."

"Isn't that the plan?" I couldn't stop myself from asking. I shouldn't care, but hope flared in my chest.

Tori shrugged. "I think so. We talked about getting married eventually. But our jobs are so busy. In the city, people don't get married and have kids as young."

"Is that what you want?" I'd always thought Tori would want kids, a family. Those are the things we'd talk about when we were stuck in a hiding spot for too long. What did we want to do with our lives? Did we want to leave Telluride? Stay? Be close to our families? For me, I wanted to stay, and I always thought Tori would come back. When she didn't, it was a shock, and I wasn't over it yet.

"I don't know what I want anymore. I was hoping coming home would give me some clarity."

I didn't know what to say to her. I'd never been one to be particularly motivated or goal oriented. I enjoyed my current job. I liked being around my family. It made sense to work at the resort.

"It's getting late. I should get home." Tori stood, folding the blanket.

I stood with her, knowing I'd clear our table later, after she was gone.

She pulled her jacket tight around her shoulders. "It's colder here somehow."

"The snow on the ground keeps the air temperature colder."

"In New York, the snow turns black."

I'd never had any desire to go to New York. All those buildings, the smog. I shuddered just thinking about the sheer number of people.

I opened the door to go back into the lodge. There were very few people in the room. The party had mainly cleared out. It was late. I kept a hand on her lower back as we walked slowly through the lodge to the lobby. "Did you drive, or should I call you a car?"

"Would you mind driving me? I don't want to make small talk with strangers."

"Of course." I wouldn't deny Tori anything.

Outside, I nodded toward the valet who took off for my vehicle. We kept ours in a garage so we didn't need to worry about snow and ice.

When it pulled up, I opened the door for Tori. I waited while she gathered her skirt and climbed inside. I closed the door behind her, struck that we'd done this many times before. We'd gone to school dances together as friends, and I'd driven her to school every morning.

In the cab, the heat was blaring, and Tori fiddled with the radio. I pulled from the curb while she settled for a holiday tune. "I’m so happy to be home. I enjoyed seeing everyone, and my parents are happy."

"I bet." Tori was their pride and joy. They hadn’t been sure they could have kids, and when they finally had her, they spoiled her. I didn't blame them.

"I just don't want to let them down."

"How are you letting them down?" Her father always bragged about his daughter, who was a doctor in the city, saving people's lives in the emergency room and dating a surgeon. She could do no wrong in his eyes. "You have to live your life. This is your dream. Not your parents'."

"I guess."

I wasn't sure what was bothering her. She said she was happy with Hugh. Maybe it was the idea of letting go of her childhood dream and the pact we made. "You know, you don't have to do what you said you'd do at seventeen. We grow up and make different dreams and goals."

I hadn't, but I didn't think that would help her. I parked in front of her parents’ house. It looked as if it had a fresh coat of paint since I’d last visited, and there was new shrubbery under the windows.

"You're right. I'm just feeling nostalgic. It's silly." Tori made a move to open the truck's door, and I reached over to stop her with a hand on her leg.

The heat seared my palm, and I quickly withdrew. "You're not being silly."

Tori smiled at me, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. "Walk me to my door?"

"Of course." I was hoping we had an extra few minutes to talk in the warmth of the cab, but she was already getting out.

I hustled around the truck so I could assist her walking down the sidewalk. We'd gotten some fresh flurries during the party, and the concrete was covered in a fine coating of fresh powder. "I wish I had time to go skiing."

I chuckled. "You'd have to stay longer than a day or two for that."

"True," she said as we stepped onto her porch. The light was on, and I felt like a teenager taking her home. I wondered if her parents still waited up for her.

We stopped in front of her door and turned to face each other.

"I should get inside. I have an early flight tomorrow."

"It was good seeing you. I'm glad you stopped by," I said, my mouth dry. Why was I so nervous? This was Tori. I'd walked her to her door a million times when we were teenagers. Why was this time different? Was it the mention of the pact? The idea that I could be with Tori?

She tucked a chunk of blond hair behind her ear, her skin translucent in the dim lighting. Then her arms came around my neck, and she was hugging me, her body pressed against mine. After a few seconds, my arms banded around her waist. I held her tight to me.

She was obviously working through something. That's why she'd come home. But I didn't hold out hope that anything would change. She'd go back to New York and fall back into her amazing life with Hugh. They'd get married and have a couple of kids. Her life was there, and mine was here.

Every time she'd come home, I'd lose her all over again.

With a quick press of her cool lips on my cheek, she opened the door and slipped inside. "Good night, Xander."

Then she was gone. The door shut. I'd lost my opportunity. My opportunity to do what? I couldn't tell her she was making a mistake in walking away from her childhood dreams. I didn't even know who she was now.

I shoved my hands in my pockets and hunched my shoulders against the cold night air. There was no way she took that silly marriage pact seriously. Tori was destined for bigger things than me or this small town.