Chapter 20
20
XANDER
E very so often, my brothers and I got together and did some kind of outdoor adventure. Sometimes it was something outside of my comfort zone like sky diving, and other times it was a tamer option like zip lining. We were limited in what we could do in the winter, so today we decided on downhill skiing. It was just another day for me, but I thrived on the competition with my brothers.
Christopher was timing us at the bottom. He was here for lessons this morning and said he was hanging around until Noelle was done decorating the lobby.
I had a feeling he preferred spending time with us versus decorating the lobby. He inputted each time into the notes section of Oliver’s phone.
I wondered if he needed a job, a way to make some money to help out. I didn't want to overstep. Noelle and her mother had always been proud and didn't want handouts.
I wondered if there was a way to incorporate him into the business somehow. We could always use help. But he was young, and we usually employed college-age kids.
We raced down the mountain several times. Oliver joked about getting out his spreadsheet to see who won last time, but I was always the winner in this race. I was the best skier out of all of us, although Killian liked to trash talk me about it. I liked to think I could have done something with my athletic abilities, but I never wanted to leave the resort. That's why me keeping my job was so important.
"You ready for dinner?" Eli said when Oliver made his last run, coming up short again.
"I'm starved. What about you, Christopher? Are you able to join us?" I asked him.
He shook his head. "I should get back to my sister. She might need my help."
"Thanks for hanging out with us today," Eli said as we clicked out of our skis and headed inside to stow our gear.
We got a table at the restaurant and ordered our usual steak, potatoes, and veggies.
"We have any business to discuss?" Eli asked.
"I have a few things," I said, and Eli's surprised gaze swung to me. I rarely contributed anything to these conversations. "Do we have a job for Christopher? He's young and eager to learn. I know we usually hire older kids, but I think he's responsible and would be a hard worker."
Eli frowned. "Did he ask for a job?"
I chuckled. "No Richards has ever asked for anything."
Eli relaxed in his chair. "Noelle sold me on the idea of decorating the entire lodge."
"That's what I'm talking about. I suspect he could use the money, and he wants to help his family." I had a feeling Noelle was shouldering a lot of the responsibility, and I wanted to ease some of her burden. Killian was close to her at one point. He wouldn't want to see her overworked.
"What are you thinking? The equipment shack?"
"That's an option. But I'm wondering if he could assist me. My classes are getting bigger, and I could use the help. He's a quick learner and good with kids."
"You could always cap the number of people in your lessons," Oliver helpfully pointed out.
"I don't want to turn anyone away. So what do you say?"
"I'm fine with hiring him, and I agree with you. The Richards are hard workers. I want to help them. Just don't let anyone in their family think it's a handout."
"I won't." I knew how important it was for them to feel like they were independent, and they didn't want to rely on anyone.
"Anything else?" Eli asked, looking around the table.
My nerves kicked up. "I have an idea to get people excited about the resort."
Eli tipped his head to the side. "Yeah?"
"What if we did some kind of evening winter event but outside. Not with dresses and suits. Everyone would be bundled up. We could have bonfires and hot chocolate. People could ski the light trail or the regular slopes, and we could offer carriage rides."
"You had me until you said carriage rides. How are we going to get those?" Oliver asked.
I opened the screen on my phone with the information. "A neighboring farm will let us rent the carriage and horses for one night. They'll even provide a driver." The sheet outlined the prices which seemed reasonable to me. "We could charge admission for the event, offer food and drinks, things for the kids to do. I was thinking about some of the games we used to play in the snow. We could set up a little snowball fight area, complete with snow barriers." I was surprised when that idea popped out. I hadn't discussed that with Tori. It had just come to me. Was that the intuition she was always talking about?
Oliver rubbed his chin. "You've obviously done your research."
I knew he appreciated numbers whenever we were discussing new marketing ideas.
Eli considered me for a few seconds, then nodded. "I like it too. I think we should do it."
My heart soared because if Eli wanted it, it usually happened. But I wanted both of my brothers on board with this plan. "What do you think?"
Oliver nodded. "Let me figure out how much we could charge, and if it would cover the horse and carriage rental."
"I called around and got some numbers from other farms who've done similar festivals. They were happy to share their information with me. We can take a percentage of whatever food trucks want to sell also."
Oliver's eyes widened. "That helps with the bottom line."
"We could talk to Noelle about putting up more lights outside for the event. Maybe even a little walk-through light display for the kids." I was surprised the ideas were flowing easily now, and it had nothing to do with Tori because she wasn't here. We hadn't thought about any of this before. Confidence shot through me. I could do this. I wasn't an idiot when it came to ideas or business.
"The more you talk, the more I'm digging this idea. The indoor event is for adults, but the outdoor one is for couples and families."
Oliver nodded. "I think so."
Eli rubbed his hands together as if he was excited. "Let's do it. Are you willing to take lead on this?"
"Absolutely." A thrill shot through me. This was my chance to prove to my brothers that I could make a significant contribution to the family's business.
Oliver inclined his head slightly, giving me his dad look. "If you're handling the festival, you might want to slow down on your lessons. You're going to have a tough time doing both."
I waved a hand as our food was served. "It'll be fine."
When the waitress left, Eli said, "I don't want you to burn out."
"That won't happen." I'd always taken everything in stride. What could possibly go wrong now?
During dinner, we talked through the details, and I took notes on my phone. It felt good for my ideas to be respected and admired. I was usually content to stay in the background. I never thought I had worthy ideas. Now I felt like I was part of the business's success, like I had a stake in the outcome.
It felt good that Oliver and Eli were not only excited about my idea but proud of me. Maybe I hadn't allowed myself to help in this way because I didn't think my ideas were good or that I was business savvy. Hopefully, the more I exercised my business intelligence, the stronger it would get.
I enjoyed being part of this conversation instead of being regulated to the background. When my brothers didn't expect anything from me, that hadn't felt good. I just hadn't realized how much it had affected me. It piled onto the notion that I wasn't good enough for anyone.
Everything was changing for the better. I just hoped I could sustain it. I could throw all the balls in the air—my job at the resort, my stake in the business, and my relationship with Tori—and not drop any of them.
I felt complete with all three. But if any one should fall, I wasn't sure I could go on. Tori, my family, and the business were a part of me. I didn't want to give up any of it.
By the time our plates were cleared, the business conversation had dried up.
"How are things between you and Tori?" Eli asked.
Since our parents were traveling most of the time, he'd taken on the manager role at the resort and the big-brother role with us. "Great."
"You think it's the real deal?" Oliver asked.
"She's the one for me." I didn't want to think about what would happen if she didn't feel the same way.
Eli wiped his mouth with a cloth napkin. "You sound confident."
"I know how I feel, and I've never felt this way about anyone." I wasn't talking about our fake relationship anymore. I was being honest about my feelings. "I wouldn't have started anything if I didn't think we had potential. I wouldn't have wanted to mess up our friendship." But that wasn't entirely the truth. We had started out as pretend. It was less risky than what was going on between us now.
"You think she feels the same?" Oliver asked carefully.
My stomach dipped. "I don't know."
Eli nodded. "Love is scary."
I hadn't said anything about being in love with Tori, but I guessed they could surmise that from my admission thus far.
"It's a free fall. You never know if you're going in the right direction, making the right move, and not screwing everything in your life up in the process," Eli murmured.
Both of my brothers were recently in relationships. "You have any advise for me?"
Oliver chuckled, then slapped me on the shoulder. "Don't screw it up."
"That's not helpful,” I grumbled.
"You're going to screw it up," Eli added. "It's just a matter of whether you can see it coming and avoid the pitfalls."
"I'm supposed to anticipate where and how I'm going to screw this relationship up?" That was messed up.
Eli shrugged, a self-satisfied grin spreading across his face. "It's inevitable."
I felt hot all over, like I was feverish. I didn't want to mess up with Tori. "She's my best friend. I couldn't take it if I messed things up."
"I'm not saying you'll screw it up permanently—but it's a possibility." Eli sobered. "How many serious relationships have you been in?"
I swallowed over the sudden dryness in my throat. "None."
Eli nodded. "You're bound to make some mistakes. But we'll be here for you when they happen."
"I don't like this conversation anymore," I grumbled.
"It's better that you be prepared. I let Carolina go home before Christmas last year without telling her how I felt. Biggest regret of my life. You should talk to Tori about how you feel," Oliver said.
I chuckled without any humor. That was the problem. This wasn't a real relationship, and I wasn't supposed to be having any feelings. I'd already screwed up. But I couldn't tell my brothers any of that information. They weren't supposed to know anything about that. Then they'd know about our plan to help me keep my job. It would be one more reason for them to say I was a screwup, and they couldn't depend on me.
"Have you taken Tori on any dates besides the winter ball?" Oliver asked.
"We go to dinner sometimes." Although lately, we'd eaten take-out because we couldn't keep our hands off each other.
"She'll enjoy the festival. Make sure you spend time with her there. Girls love that stuff," Eli said like he was the expert on women.
I'd probably be too busy organizing it, running it, and making sure nothing bad happened. But I didn't bother mentioning that to my brothers. They finally believed in me. I wouldn't give them a reason not to. "So you're saying I need to take her out more?"
"I'm not saying I did right by Carolina in the beginning either. It started out as a fling we kept hidden."
They hooked up whenever she was in town. Everything changed when they got snowed in before Christmas last year. They realized they were in love with each other.
That was a very different arrangement than what I had going on with Tori. We were friends first, and we weren't supposed to be anything more.
My brothers could only help me so much without me telling them the truth, and I had no intention of doing that. I'd gotten myself into this situation, and I'd have to get myself out of it. But I had no idea how.
It was a way for me to be with Tori and not be honest about my feelings. The fear of rejection was real. If I was honest with her, she'd be able to walk away. I didn't even want to think about how that would feel.
That reaction made sense. I'd never been the guy anyone relied on or wanted. I wasn't the best boyfriend or most responsible guy. I had nothing to offer Tori.
Oliver's gaze settled on me. "I'm surprised you made a move."
"I feel like I've been in love with her for half my life. When she said she was moving back, I figured it was finally my time." It was close to the truth. I just hadn't told Tori any of that.
"You'll figure it out," Eli said with confidence as he tipped the waiter, and we got up to leave.
I was glad that Eli had confidence in this situation because I didn't. I wasn't sure if I was doing the right thing by keeping my feelings from Tori. I just knew I didn't want to ruin what we had going. It was the first good relationship I'd ever had with a woman. The first time I'd been honest with myself about my emotions. I'd have to tell Tori eventually but not today.