35. Rhys
CHAPTER 35
RHYS
I wake up in the same basement that I’ve woken up in many times over the past couple of months, but nothing about this morning feels the same.
I’m surrounded by color and texture and thoughtful touches.
Cleo is curled between my feet.
And Tabitha is tucked against my side—naked—with her hand laid over my chest.
I’m not sure I’ve ever opened my eyes and felt so instantly happy. So at home. Like I could just lie here all day soaking it up.
Even in the wake of all the sadness and truths we shared last night, it feels like a pressure has lifted from my shoulders. The weight of the world isn’t so heavy today.
I’ve always kept myself locked up tight. But I’ve never had a Tabitha. Someone so fierce and loyal on my side. I’ve watched the way she is since first meeting her. Protective and always looking out for her family. It seemed so foreign to me, like something I could witness from afar but never have for myself.
This morning, I’m not so sure I was right about that. This morning, it feels like I might have it already and am just realizing that I do.
I see now that my fumbled attempt at shielding her from the truth could have backfired spectacularly. But it didn’t, because she’s her . All fight and no quit when it comes to the people she loves.
Love.
I glance down at her and wonder if that’s what this is. This warm, cheerful feeling when I lay eyes on her that turns to cold, despondent dread when I have to leave.
I’ve felt it with Milo, but not like this. Not where it hurts to breathe, and I can’t focus on anything because all I see is her.
Tabitha would like this show.
Tabitha would make a better version of this dish.
Hell, I see another woman in a nice jacket, and think I should get that for Tabby. She’d look fine as hell in that coat.
I can’t even step inside the ring without wondering if she’s watching.
Does love start off as obsession? Because that’s what I am.
Obsessed with my wife.
She stirs, nuzzling against my side, and I glance down at her. Eyes still puffy from crying, but lips at ease, lightly parted as she rests.
I can’t help myself. I crane my neck and drop my lips to her hair, dusting kisses against her silky strands, only to note the tangles in them. Proof of a trip straight out of a cold shower and into my bed. To me .
Slowly, I trail my fingers over her hair, gently working the knots out until I can easily run my digits through the section. Then I settle for stroking her, watching the morning light highlight all the different shades of brown in her full head of hair.
Eventually, her lips curve into a soft smile, but she doesn’t open her eyes. She snuggles closer and hums contentedly. “Are you petting me, Dupris?”
There’s humor in her voice, and my lips quirk up at the tone. “Are you purring, Tabitha?”
She laughs, and I can feel her wide smile against my side. “Maybe. It feels nice. No wonder Cleo loves you so much. You pet a girl like that, and she can’t help but fall.”
My heart stutters, but she doesn’t seem to notice. No, the mention of love doesn’t terrify Tabitha in the least. It comes so naturally to her. It’s what captured my attention about her in the first place.
I can’t help but notice the change in her voice when she speaks next. “Rhys, I think… I think you need to read Erika’s journals. I don’t feel like I can relay it all to you, and I think there are things written on those pages that you need to know.”
I nod, still stroking her hair. “It doesn’t matter to me, Tabby. Her reasons, her inner thoughts. I have a lot of fond memories of Erika and…” I swallow roughly. “You know, I’ve been grieving her in my own way too. I think about her often. Impossible not to with Milo around.”
She props herself up on my chest, so comfortable draped over me. I feel like I should pinch myself and make sure I’m here, and this is all real.
Big doe eyes latch on to mine. “I’m sorry. I never thought of it that way. She speaks fondly of you, you know.”
I swallow again. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. But I… I feel like only I’ve learned things that we both need to know. It’s like… if we’re not going to keep secrets, we need to move forward knowing the same things. I realize she didn’t portray me in the best light to you, and I?—”
“I already figured out that wasn’t true. I think I subconsciously always knew.”
Tabitha blinks at me, eyes going shrink-wrapped again. And I can’t fucking handle it. I don’t especially want to read those journals, but I want to see my wife cry even less.
“I’ll read them,” I clarify. “Let’s make some coffee, and then I’ll go read them.”
And that’s what we do. We snuggle up on the patio, frigid air biting until I turn on the patio heater. Tabitha moves into the same position—tucked under my arm—as I sit and go through the journals.
For hours, we drink coffee and stick close to each other, always touching in some way. I read through Erika’s highs and her lows. With every page, I feel more like a rubbernecker who is watching a train wreck that’s about to hit. There’s no way to stop it though. I just have to sit and endure.
Fury hits me when I get to the part about why Erika asked me to be Milo’s guardian. For my money. To spite her sister.
I must be breathing harder, because Tabitha’s arms slip around me from where she’s been reading over my shoulder. “Don’t forget all the entries when she saw what a good man you are. Don’t let this one erase those. She’s angry in this entry, but if you take that away…”
I turn my head to look down at her. She smiles sadly. “If you take that away, I still think she made a sound choice.”
Nodding, I stare back down at the page. I can see the smudged ink where one of Tabitha’s tears fell last night. My thumb traces it, my throat thick with emotion as I confess, “I think if she’d made any other choice, we might not be sitting here together at all.”
It makes me wish I could tell her thank you for bringing me Tabitha.