Wildfire Omens (Wildwood #1)

Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

Cheyenne

I walked away from Rhett, away from the house, away from all of it. I climbed the trail behind my house, tears dropping as I pushed my body at a grueling pace, needing distance almost as much as I needed him.

I wanted to scream and cry and rage at the wind. How could Gran have done that to me? She had seen my tears, my shattered heart, and never said a word. Never told me the truth, that he hadn’t tried to slice the bond between us in one swift move after all. How could she have let me believe that when it was killing me?

I could barely breathe. If Rhett was telling the truth, then I’d believed a lie all these years. It was unfathomable.

Wasn’t it?

The truth hit hard as I remembered how she’d encouraged me to stay outside with the horses. How she told me to leave my phone behind, that it would only cause more pain to not hear it ring. How she called Claire to take me camping, had called other friends to sit with me at night. Had encouraged me to start training with the search-and-rescue team. Had counseled me that the best medicine was found in sunshine, in earth, in sitting underneath the stars.

And I’d listened, never once thinking that she might be hiding Rhett’s calls from me.

I stopped, sinking to the ground as I wept. I would never understand. She’d loved me—I knew that. It had to have been some misguided attempt at protecting me.

But if she’d really known me, she would have understood that the worst pain of all was from believing that the love of my life could walk away without a word.

Just like my father had.

I pulled my knees into my chest, rocking back and forth as I tried to make peace with it all. After all, I couldn’t change it now. The years had passed. But I knew that those years would have passed differently if I’d known the truth—if Rhett and I had been given the gift of those conversations. It would have hurt, but I would have understood. I’d seen the tension between him and his dad on the ranch; I’d known that it wasn’t really what he wanted. We could have made it work long-distance while Gran lived out her remaining days. Then I could have joined him wherever he was.

Everything would have been different if I had known the truth.

But as I thought over the things Rhett had said, I realized he’d never actually intended for me to join him after Gran passed. He, too, seemed to think I belonged here. That this was what I wanted more than anything.

The two people I’d loved most in the whole world had broken me, both apparently thinking they were doing the right thing. Neither of them had bothered asking me what I wanted.

Rhett talked about my connection to the land. How could he not understand that I was connected to him, too? The entire time he’d been gone, it was like my heart lived in two places. Here, on the land that was part of my soul, and with him. Forever divided, forever broken. Forever unable to move on.

It was infuriating and heartbreaking all at once. But Rhett had been right about one thing. This land and I were one. Ten years ago, I would have left in a heartbeat to be with him, and I’d have lost something else that meant everything to me. Losing him had been the greatest loss of my life, but at least I hadn’t lost this.

I dried my tears, knowing I should get back to the house. The last thing I needed was Rhett attempting to come after me and potentially falling and hurting himself. I didn’t want to face him though. My thoughts and emotions were swirling all over the place. It made me feel weak and irrational, two things I hated feeling and refused to let him see.

So I put on a stony face and headed back down the trail to the house.

We were supposed to be friends. That was all. I’d agreed to it, and I wasn’t the kind of person who went back on my word. I wasn’t ready to forgive him for keeping me in the dark about his plans and Gran’s illness. But if he was telling the truth now, everything had just gotten more complicated. Because knowing he’d tried to call me changed the story I’d been telling myself for ten years. It mattered.

And with Rhett living in my house, I couldn’t deny the fact that I was still ridiculously attracted to him, drawn to him like a moth to the flame. The more time I spent with him, the stronger my connection to him became. I’d spent a decade trying to kill it only to find it flaming back like a raging wildfire.

My only defense was to avoid him as much as possible. Thankfully, that wasn’t too difficult. He’d improved dramatically overnight, but he was still tired—too tired to force a conversation I wasn’t ready for, thankfully. He gave me a worried look when I got back but seemed to read my mood and let the conversation drop. He mostly stayed in the guest room, and I kept myself busy with chores around the house.

When I was starting to think about dinner, I was surprised by a knock at the door. I opened it to find Beth standing on my porch with a smile on her face and a basket in hand.

“I brought dinner, courtesy of Mom,” she said. “Spaghetti and meatballs, salad, and breadsticks.”

My mouth started watering immediately. “That sounds amazing. Come on in. Will you stay and eat with me?”

“I was hoping you’d ask,” she said, stepping inside and bending down to give Ash an affectionate scratch. Ash loved Beth and Claire as much as I did, and her tail thumped the floor even as she sat politely.

“Here, I’ll take that,” I said, taking the basket from her and heading into the kitchen with it.

She followed me, slipping out of her jacket, then tossed it over the back of one of my kitchen chairs. “How is he today?”

“Better. His color looks good and he’s been less dizzy. He’s only taking ibuprofen for the pain, and he’s spent most the day resting.”

Beth raised an eyebrow. “Did you have to knock him out again to get him to rest?”

I grinned. “No. Not yet, anyway.”

“How has it been … otherwise?” She gave me a pointed look.

I sighed, wondering how long it would take for his family to stop asking me if I was okay. On one hand, their concern was touching. On the other hand, it made it harder to pretend I was fine.

“It’s been okay,” I said, even though it was a lie. But I couldn’t tell her my heart felt battered and broken. “It’s awkward, obviously. But he apologized for the past and asked if we could be friends, and I’m trying.”

She couldn’t hide the surprise on her face. “Rhett apologized? Seriously?”

“Yeah.” I pulled out plates and began putting one together for Rhett.

“That’s not like him.”

“Maybe he’s finally growing up. Ten more years and he might catch up to Jonathan,” I said, winking.

She laughed and shook her head. “I don’t know. I think he deserves more credit than that already. Is that for him?”

“Yeah, why?”

“I’ll deliver it. Then you and I can eat together and I’ll catch you up on the plan.”

“The plan?” I asked, curious.

“You didn’t think we’d completely abandon you to deal with him alone, did you?” She grinned again as she took his plate out of my hands. “We like you more than that. Make me a plate, too, would you? I’ll be right back.”

I put together plates for both of us and pulled out the rest of the wine Claire had brought over the week before, the night Rhett had shown up. Had that really been less than a week ago? It felt like a lifetime had passed in the blink of an eye.

Beth came back minutes later with a smile on her face. “You’re right. He does look a lot better. He was sleeping, but he woke up when I went in. You must have the magic touch. I never expected him to comply with the doctor’s orders to rest.”

“Me either,” I admitted. “But I think he’s still hurting more than he lets on.”

“Probably,” she agreed. “Anyway, the plan. First of all, I didn’t just bring dinner. I’m here to give you a break. After we eat, I’ll stay with him and you can do whatever you need or want to do. Go to town, take a long bath, get some space—whatever you need.”

“Thanks,” I said, feeling unexpected relief. It wasn’t exactly that I was in a hurry to get away from him. In fact, I’d barely seen him since that morning. But distance felt like a good thing.

“Of course. And Mom’s coming to sit with him tomorrow so you can work. She prepped the food for the guests in advance, and Claire’s off, so the plan is for you and Claire to handle the trail rides and I’ll take over for Mom.”

“That works,” I said, cheering internally even more. A day out on the trail was exactly what my soul needed. The hours on horseback were certain to help me find peace and clarity.

“That way, you and Claire can go to training tomorrow night.”

I blinked. “You’re right. Tomorrow’s Thursday. I didn’t even think about it.” Our SAR group trained most Thursday nights.

“It’s easy to lose track of the days when your schedule’s all messed up,” she said easily.

“It is. Well, I sure appreciate the rotation. Not that I mind sitting with him. He’s been easy,” I said, feeling sudden guilt for the way they were rearranging their lives. It wasn’t only for my sake though, I knew. They loved him and wanted to be with him, too.

“Well, I’m glad you don’t mind, because Mom wanted me to ask you for another favor.” Beth suddenly looked nervous.

“What?” My stomach dropped.

“The neurologist called today. Rhett has a follow-up appointment on Friday morning. We have a bridal party coming in that morning for brunch, so Mom really can’t get away. It’s been on the schedule for months at this point. But we don’t have any trail riders scheduled, so we were able to block that off easily. Would you be able to take him to the appointment?”

“Oh, of course,” I said, relieved that’s all it was. “That’s not a problem.”

“Good. Thank you.” She breathed a sigh of relief. “Mom said to tell you that we’re paying you for your time like we would if you were working every day at the ranch. She knows what an imposition this whole thing has to be.”

“It’s really not,” I said gently—and realized, with a bit of surprise, that I meant it. “You guys are family. No matter what happened between me and Rhett in the past, I still care about … all of you.”

I swallowed hard, knowing I still cared entirely too much.