Willing (The Un #1)

22. Chloe

Twenty-Two

Chloe

Slipping my legs off his shoulders, Asher gathers me up in his arms and rolls onto his side.

I whimper into his chest when he pulls me close. My legs twitching and shaking as I stretch them out.

The rise and fall of his chest slows as he just holds me. The effects of everything wearing off.

I can still feel him inside me, connected to me, but it’s not as strong or as intense. I’m not feeling what he’s feeling. I don’t feel what his arms feel wrapped around me.

All I feel is his… joy.

To finally have this moment.

It’s like a warm brick pressing against my ribs, where my heart is.

With a start, I realize I haven’t felt my heart beat this entire time. I know after what we just did it should be beating like crazy. But there’s nothing moving in my chest.

There’s only the buzzing heat of Asher’s presence.

My blood is cycling through my veins, my lungs are still working, but my heart is still and unmoving.

It doesn’t make sense.

Asher’s arms tighten around me as he senses my distress. “I know it’s disturbing, my love, but you’ll get used to it eventually. We all do.”

Through the connection he soothes me with a burst of warmth and rubs his hands up and down my back. His big palms tracing my spine.

My worry tries to dig in its heels and turn into panic, but it’s quickly driven away by Asher’s tender touch.

There’s nothing to fear, he reassures me. I would never let anything happen to you.

I begin to quickly relax again. My body melting against his.

My knees bump into his knees as I wiggle closer. Moving one leg, he hooks me by the ankle with his foot and drags my thigh between his. Shifting me until we’re completely wrapped around each other.

Arms draped around his neck, my fingers find his nape and begin to lazily play with his hair.

Every so often he places a kiss against the top of my head. Softening against me with contentment.

Minutes and possibly hours drift away as we lie in each other’s arms. Flesh against flesh. Nothing between us.

Letting all the new and incredible stuff settle.

Until Asher unwraps one arm from around me and tips my chin to look up at him. “Look at me, beautiful.”

Lifting my lashes from my cheeks, I peer up at him, and it’s like I’ve opened my eyes for the very first time.

His face… it’s changed , I think and draw back in surprise.

Somehow he’s even more beautiful. His skin is perfect. Too perfect. Like someone has airbrushed away all his imperfections. I search for a flaw but can find none. Not a pore, nor a wrinkle. Not even the faintest of lines.

And his eyes… his eyes are brilliant and stunning. They’re more than green… They’re every green ever made. Colored from the leaves on trees. The grass springing from the ground. The finest gemstones to ever grace a ring. Emerald, jade, and everything in between.

There are also tiny sparks of gold I never noticed before. Stars floating and bursting around his pupils.

Asher says my name to get my attention. “Chloe.”

“Yes?” I exhale, still stunned and trapped by his eyes.

“Blink and look down.”

Putting my trust in him again, I force my eyes to blink then look down.

As I take in the sight of my own naked breasts, whatever spell he cast on me is broken.

“What the hell?” I ask.

Then my attention narrows in on my own skin.

Even there, on myself, I can find no imperfection or blemish…

“Look up,” Asher urges, “but don’t look too closely this time.”

Following his lead, I do as he commands, lifting my gaze back to his face. My eyes are instantly drawn to his eyes, though, and I quickly find myself being sucked into them again.

Asher closes his eyes and smirks, breaking the spell himself.

Embarrassed and not appreciating the way he’s messing with me, I frown at him. “Stop doing that. It’s not nice.”

Asher’s smirk grows. “What am I doing?”

“You’re…” I start and leave unfinished. My cheeks burning with heat.

“What am I doing, Chloe?” Asher chuckles.

Grumbling, I say, “You know what you’re doing. You’re bewitching me.”

When I try to pull away, his arms flex to keep me in place.

“I’m doing nothing,” he insists.

A flash of irritation sizzles through me, and Asher must feel it through the bond because he immediately chuckles. “I promise you, love, it’s not me. It’s you.”

Stilling, I frown at his face, wishing I could see his eyes. It’s odd having a conversation this way. I can’t tell if he’s still teasing me again or telling me the truth. “How can it be me?”

Asher smiles now as if he’s pleased. “It’s your vampiric sight. Now that you’ve awakened from your turning, you’re coming into your powers.”

“What does that even mean?” I ask, a little flustered.

Vampiric sight? Turning? Am I supposed to know those things?

His smile fades, turning into a scowl. “You’re a vampire now, Chloe, like me.”

When I only return his scowl, he asks, “Can you feel it?”

Closing my own eyes, I try to feel whatever changes are supposedly happening to me.

“There’s a… warmth in my chest… and my heart isn’t beating,” I admit after a few seconds.

Asher hums thoughtfully. “That warmth is our bond, and you don’t need to worry about your heart. Like I said before, you’ll get used to that. Do you feel anything else?”

I focus hard on my body, but all I notice is where I’m touching him. His skin pressing and rubbing against my skin. “Everywhere you’re touching me tingles… but I don’t know if that’s normal or not…”

I stop myself with a sigh.

“Don’t be embarrassed,” Asher says, and crushes me against him to nuzzle the top of my head. His voice drops, becoming deep and husky. “It pleases me that you’ve never touched another man. I’m the only man you’ll ever know.”

Those words bother me… but I don’t know why. It’s like there’s something I’m forgetting. Something very important that I need to remember.

Asher dips his face down and rubs his nose against my cheek. It’s so sweet and tender, I’m stunned.

How does this man keep stunning me?

“Is there anything else? Do you feel anything else?” he asks softly.

I try to ignore his effect on me and focus on anything new I might be feeling, but he’s not making it easy.

“I can feel my blood moving through my veins. I think that’s new…” Again, I’m not sure because I’m having a hard time comparing it to things I’ve felt in the past.

My memory is dark and fuzzy. I have a sense of self. I obviously know my name and his name, and I remember him from somewhere… He’s very familiar to me. I feel as if I’ve known him my entire life. But I can’t bring up any specific events or moments.

I can’t even remember how I ended up in this room with him in the first place.

The harder I try to catch the memory, the quicker it slips away to elude me. Luring me back into the darkness.

Where it’s safe.

Where I can be no one.

Where I can be nothing.

I don’t have to exist.

“Chloe,” Asher murmurs to bring my attention back to him. “Open your eyes.”

I do as he asked, but as soon as I open my eyes, what I see is so sharp and vivid, my stomach twists.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I ask, “What’s wrong with me?”

“Nothing is wrong with you,” Asher says, but a stab of his own alarm throbs behind my ribs before he quickly squashes it.

His fingers slip into my hair and tighten. I feel the truth of his words in my bones as he speaks them. “You are perfect.”

To him, I am perfect.

But it’s all in the eye of the beholder. Even the most broken and damaged of goods can be perfect and useful to someone.

“I can’t remember anything.”

There’s another stab of alarm from him, stronger than before.

My blood begins to rush through my veins with my rising anxiety.

“I don’t know how I got here… How did I get here? Where is even here?”

Asher takes a deep breath, as if to settle himself, then he says, “Calm, my love.” He pushes soothing, numbing waves through the bond. “It’s normal after awakening. It will all come back to you when you’re ready.”

My limbs instantly begin to feel heavy, as if he just drugged me.

“Know that I’m here for you. To help you and protect you. There is no need to worry. Look at me.”

I force my eyes to open, to find his face.

Gripping me tightly, Asher stares deep into my eyes.

With his eyes so close and intense, I start to fall into them again. Recognizing what’s happening, I force myself to look down, meaning to bring them back up after a second.

Instead, I watch his lips. The way they move to form each syllable. The little dips and wrinkles that appear only to smooth out into plump softness.

“You can trust me, Chloe. I know what’s happening to you is frightening, but you can trust me to take care of you,” Asher insists. “No matter what happens... I want you to remember that.”

There’s an edge of apprehension to his declaration, giving me the impression that he’s afraid of the future. Why? What’s there to be afraid of? I have no idea, but I can sense it as sharply as I feel the blood moving around my body.

Do I need to be afraid if he’s afraid? I want to be… but it’s so hard with whatever he’s pumping through our connection tranquilizing me.

“Will you remember that?” Asher asks, and there’s so much desperation behind the question, I want to ease and soothe away whatever is bothering him.

I don’t want him to hurt or worry. I want to please him and make him happy.

“Of course,” I answer automatically, not understanding why it’s important.

I obviously love him, and he loves me. I’ll give him anything he wants.

Asher is quiet for a moment, his breath brushing across my face like a caress.

“Everything will come back in time,” he says, but I’m not sure if he’s saying it to me or himself.

When I squirm uncomfortably in his grip, he chuckles ruefully. “Of course the fates would give me this moment only to taint it.”

“What do you mean?” I ask, my attention drawn to his neck, watching his throat move.

“If only you knew…”

He has such a lovely throat for a man, with a very defined Adam’s apple. My mouth waters at the thought of tasting his skin there.

“No doubt they expect me to be grateful that you don’t know. Because once you do…”

I want to sink my teeth in enough to mark the flesh…

“Are you listening to me? Or are you thinking about how you will eat me?”

“A little bit of both,” I admit, and finally drag my attention up.

My gaze meets his gaze, and the force of his beauty tries swallow me whole.

“Not so close,” Asher warns. “Now that you can see better than you could before, you must be careful not to become… lost in what you see.”

“Lost in what I see?” I ask, fighting the urge to fall and let go.

It’s hard, though. There are so many new little details I want to soak up and explore. His eyes are like gems with so many different facets… I want to learn them all. I want to claim them.

Mine. Those beautiful eyes are mine .

I could live inside them for days and days.

“Yes, everything is so new, it’s easy for you to lose yourself in the things around you. Especially shiny things. I know from experience. Not long after I was turned, I spent an entire day staring at a golden chamber pot.”

“You stared at a chamber pot for an entire day?” I ask in disbelief. The absurdity of it bringing me back through the haze.

“Yes,” Asher says and his mouth twists into a wry smile. “If the sun had not come up and knocked my ass out, I probably would have spent an entire week staring at the fucking thing.”

I match his smile, amused by the story. “So, you’re basically saying I’m like a racoon now, huh?”

Asher’s eyes light up with laughter and his hands slip down my sides only to sneak around my back to grab me by the ass.

Squeezing my cheeks, he grins at me. “Yes, you are essentially like a racoon now. A very sexy little racoon. Easily distracted and captivated by beautiful and shiny things.”

My mouth going dry as he kneads and works my flesh in his big hands, I have to clear my throat before I ask, “For how long?”

“For as long as it takes for you to master your senses,” Asher answers, watching me closely.

My hips want to move with the motion of his hands, but I know if I start to move I won’t be able to stop.

As much as I want to rock against him and lose myself to passion, I want answers more right now. There are so many blank spaces in my head, I want to fill them with something, anything.

“How long does that usually take?”

Asher hesitates. “For some, it can take decades. Others, days.”

“How long did it take you?”

“Me?” He smirks. “It took me a couple of years, but I didn’t have anyone to help me like you do. You have me.”

Anticipating or perhaps knowing what I want to ask next, why he didn’t have anyone to help him, he stops me by telling me to, “Look into my eyes, but don’t look too closely. You need to see without focusing all of your attention.”

Easier said than done.

I try several times to see without looking too close, but without any other distractions I keep falling face-first into the wells of his eyes. Searching for a bottom when there is no bottom. Only new galaxies I haven’t yet explored.

After the tenth try, I start to grow irritated with myself

After the twentieth, I’m done trying.

“This is impossible,” I growl then blink at the rumbling sound of my own words.

That’s new…

Asher tips his head back and laughs. “It will come with time.”

When I scowl at him, he laughs some more. Then he uses his hold on my ass to pull my thighs into his hips, grinding me against his stiffening cock. “If you want, we can take a break.”

I gasp when his shaft rubs and drags across my clit. My thighs tightening around him and my irritation suddenly forgotten.

Asher grins mischievously. “After all, you have an eternity to master this. There is no need to hurry…”

Head dipping down, his mouth captures my lips and he kisses me deeply before murmuring, “Not when we could be practicing better things.”