Chapter 12
I can’t lookat him as he’s telling this story. I’m holding on to my glass and looking out the window. I can’t imagine living with a mom who drank and sexually abused her son. The part about our dad leaving when things got too hard, I can believe that.
I look over at him with sympathy. I’m hoping he can see it in my eyes. He continues telling the rest of the story, and I can’t say a word. “She left me there like that. I woke up a few days later. She was hoping I would die like that.”
The pit in my stomach for him is growing. I clear my throat. “And that’s how you ended up with that scar on your face?”
He only nods his head, looking down at our joined hands.
“I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry you had to go through all of that.”
“I have you now, and you’re all I need. Those other girls couldn’t handle me like you can.” He looks like he has hearts in his eyes for me, and I try to reciprocate that. I feel for him, but his mood swings always have me on edge. I never know what he’ll do.
“Those other girls, did you ... um...” I’m not even sure how to ask that without him flipping his shit on me. I would rather have sweet Alex and not almost-want-to-kill-me Alex.
“Ah, are you jealous, baby?”
Will he give me the answers my curious mind wants to know if I play into this game of his? I give him my biggest doe eyes and tell him what he wants to hear. “Maybe.”
“I might have practiced with them, but none of them were you, little butterfly.” He leans into me and grabs my wrist gently. I forget all about the whiskey glass and he’s rubbing circles into my wrist. Warm tingles run through me at his touch. I can’t deny the way he makes me feel. I don’t know whether it’s lust or love, but I need it. I almost crave it. Is this how he felt with his mom? I push that thought down as soon as it comes up because I’m not ready to deal with what he just told me. I just want to live in his touch a little bit longer. I lean into him more, and he catches my movement. He begins running his hand up my arm making goosebumps raise in his wake. My breathing hitches as he grabs hold of my face, turning my head to look into his eyes.
“I want you, little butterfly, and no one else.”
He pulls me into a kiss that’s filled with so much want and need. I want to fill that empty space in him. I want to be his obsession. My hands go to his soft hair. Running my fingers through his soft strands and pulling him in as close to me as I can.
His hand leaves my face, and my body’s facing his. He circles his arms around me, lifting me up as I wrap my legs around his waist. I feel consumed by him, and I want to be devoured. He sits me on the kitchen counter, pulling my shirt over my head, making us break from our kiss. We’re both breathing so hard our chests rise and fall in sync with one another. My breasts are grazing his shirt with every inhale. I pull at the edge of his shirt, wanting our skin touching. I need to feel him. If I could meld our bodies together in this moment and never let go, I would. I never want to leave this happy bubble we’re in. Once I get his shirt off, he’s pulling at the waist of the sweats I’m in, and I lift up to allow him to pull them all the way off. He kneels down, looking up at me with a devious look in his eyes, and proceeds to grab my thighs and squeezes them as he trails kisses up to my sex. I let out a breathy moan. His kisses leave trails of fire in their wake.
“I want to mark you.”
He’s looking up, asking with his eyes. I swallow hard and nod, allowing him to mark me.
He runs off to a drawer and pulls out something red. Then he goes over to the butcher block with knives and pulls one out. I’m sure my eyes are bulging out of my head right now, wondering what he’s planning. He’s back at my thighs and kissing them.
“Don’t worry, baby, I just want to make you mine so you’ll never ever forget who you belong to.”
My nerves are skyrocketing but the thrill behind it makes me even wetter.
The red thing he’s grabbed is a lighter. He lights it and puts it to the smooth side of the knife, heating it up. It’s glowing red before he holds me, telling me to hold my breath and that it will only hurt for a second. I’m biting the inside of my cheek and when he lays the scorching knife to my skin, I’m drawing blood. The taste of iron in my mouth is the only distraction from the pain until he’s licking up my slit.
“Mmmmh ... Are you soaked for me baby?”
Between that little tease of pleasure and the pain, my head is spinning.
“Only two more and I’ll give you so much pleasure, baby.”
He lights the knife again and presses it to me again, and I scream so loud. The black birds are shaken from their trees, and I see them flying high into the sky through the dusky windows. He licks me again, a little longer this time, paying extra attention to my clit, and I moan out and push my sex closer to his face.
“Hold on, baby, just one more.”
I groan and he lights the knife again and before I can even think of biting the inside of my cheek again, he shoves two fingers inside of me as he’s pressing the edge of the knife down on my lower belly. A mix of a scream and a moan escapes my throat. The pain and pleasure mix, and I’m holding his hand chasing that high.
“That’s it, baby. Take what you need from me.”
I ride his fingers, and he sets the knife down, bringing his other thumb to my clit and rubbing circles into it. I ride him until my body builds with ecstasy and my legs are shaking. I’ve completely forgotten about the pain, and I look down at it. There is an angry red A burned into my lower belly. I guess that it’s fitting since I could never conform to the normal standards of society. First there’s my love for women, and now there’s my love for danger and my brother. The thrill of it all is like a drug I can’t come down from.
He releases me and steps back, but he doesn’t look like he’s through with me yet.
“Get on your knees for me, princess.”
I think if he’d just let me fly away free with the chance to come back, then I could live in his darkness forever. I do as he says and look up at him.
“Taste me. Show me how I make you feel.”
I pop the button on his jeans and pull down the zipper. I grab along the edge and push them down. His cock springs out and it’s right in my face. I only get the jeans down to his knees before I’m grabbing hold of his length and licking up the sides, feeling it twitch at my touch. He groans, and it excites me that I’m making him feel this way. I suck on the tip, swirling my tongue around it, and go down as far as I can before I feel my gag reflex stop me. I look up and his head is thrown back, and I start to bob my head on his thick cock. I feel his hands in my hair which he’s pulling up into a fist to gain better control of my head. He pulls me down on his length and holds me there. I’m gagging and drooling.
“Breathe through your nose, baby.”
I listen to his commands, and it helps slightly. I grab for his balls and give them a little tug.
“Oh fuck, baby.”
He’s moaning and stiffening. Then there’s a hot stream of thick salty cum on the back of my tongue. He pulls out slightly to see the remnants of his release on my tongue.
He pulls me up to him and kisses me deeply.
“Fuck, baby, you were so good.”
I feel a little proud of myself for his praise. He chuckles at how I light up.
“Okay, let’s go put some ointment on your marking. I wouldn’t want it to get infected.”
It’s always so easy to fall into him when he’s this kind and nurturing.
He pulls away from me, looking into my eyes. “It’s late, let’s go cuddle until you fall asleep in my arms while I play with your hair.”
And I’ve never heard sweeter words spoken. I might be falling for him.