21. Chapter Eleven
Chapter Eleven
Leo
"Jesus Christ, dude," Alex says, eyes wide at my thunderous expression as he holds the door open to his apartment. "Who pissed in your Cornflakes?"
“Your fucking sister.”
Plopping Salem on the tiled floor, I watch as she crawls through to the main living area, following closely behind her.
“Ah fuck, what’s she done now?”
I grit my teeth, my hands clenched at my sides as I lean back against the kitchen island. "Made me miss a call with Adidas about an endorsement deal."
I needed this deal.
Not for me, but for my daughter.
As I stare down the barrel of my thirtieth birthday, I can feel each passing tick of the seconds slipping away like a doomsday clock in my soul. The average soccer player retires at the age of thirty-five. That gives me just five years left in the game, maybe a couple more if I'm lucky.
But what happens then? When I no longer have a guaranteed salary to rely on and a child who's in elementary school. How do I sustain the lifestyle we have if I can no longer play the game that has given it to us?
This deal would have been an investment in our future. Salem's future. It would have eased the endless anxiety in my gut that one day everything we have will be gone.
Alex grimaces, his eyes hazed with apology. "Damn, that sucks."
"Yep."
"Why'd Brynn make you miss it?"
I shake my head, another wave of anger washing through. "I needed her to watch Salem so I could take the call. She didn’t, so…”
His brow crinkles. "I'm confused. Was this yesterday?"
"Today."
"On a Saturday?"
I nod. "Business doesn't care about weekends."
The befuddled expression on his face doesn't change, even as he takes a seat on the rug in front of Salem and sets about building a tower out of cups for her. "Was Brynn supposed to be working today?"
"No. I gave her the day off."
Alex pulls a face, his nose scrunched and mouth set into a thin line. Through his lips, he releases a low whistle, one that has me crossing my arms in front of my chest and my gaze dropping to the floor.
"Right." He kisses Salem on the head then stands and approaches me at the island, eyeing my defensive stance. "Maybe I've misunderstood. You told my sister you didn't need her to look after Salem today, but it turns out that you did actually need her to look after Salem today, and now you're pissed off because she couldn't look after Salem today? Did I get that right?"
"She didn't even try to help me, man."
Alex shakes his head, exasperation clear on his face, despite how much he's trying to hide it. "Did you ask her why?"
"Obviously." I scoff. "She said she was busy."
"And that's a problem because..."
"Because this was important, damnit." On the rug, my daughter startles at the fury in my tone, so I shoot her a reassuring smile and lower my voice. "This call was important, and who the fuck knows if I'll get another opportunity? But she cared more about shopping or taking her fucking selfies for Instagram than helping me when I needed her."
Silence stretches between us, so long and thick with unspoken thoughts that I take a step away from him. Something terrifying has passed over his face, a sea storm of lightning and crashing, unpredictable waves.
I've only seen my best friend truly angry a couple of times, but it was never directed at me.
Not until now.
"I can't believe I'm about to say this, man, but you're a fucking prick."
A lump of something lodges in my throat and makes me cough into a clenched first. "Excuse me?"
"You're so judgmental and, frankly, borderline arrogant when it comes to Brynn. You always have been. And I've let it slide until now because I know my sister. I know that she puts a certain version of herself out into the world because it's easier than showing people who she truly is. But there’s more to her than you've ever cared to look for. Guess I thought that after spending some time with her, you would have worked that out by now."
I look at him, stunned.
His words, sharp enough to stab into my soul like a knife, render me speechless.
"And you know what?" he continues. "Her career is nothing to look down on either. She works hard, and I'm fucking proud of her for what she's managed to achieve, especially given where we came from."
Confusion rattles my brain.
Where they came from?
I've met Alex's parents, and they've always been wonderful. Older, maybe, than other people with children our age, but warm and kind, with the kind of style that suggests they have money of their own.
I don't have time to think too much about it, though, because Alex carries on. "But what she's doing today doesn't even have anything to do with her job—which, by the way, she’s struggling to keep up with at the moment because of her new responsibilities.” He gives me a pointed look. “And I'd be pushed to say that it's actually more important than the call you're so pissed off you missed. You know fuck all about my sister, and if you did, I guarantee you'd be feeling the same things about yourself that I'm thinking about you now. I love you, bro, but goddamn can you be an asshole sometimes."
My face burns with shame. A bead of sweat rolls down my forehead, and I wipe it away fast enough that I can almost pretend it wasn't there.
His words hurt, but only because I know they're true.
I haven't always been like this. The man I was before was more like Alex, fun in a free, unrestrained kind of way. Open-minded, kind, and laid-back.
But then my entire world changed.
I became a father overnight to a baby who was abandoned by her own mother, in such a cold and cruel way too. I didn't have a choice. Didn't have a say in the way my life would change as a result or the sacrifices I would have to make.
And I did it all without hesitation because Salem didn't have anyone else.
I have never regretted my decision to keep her.
But maybe, if I'm being honest with myself, I've harbored some bitterness about the way it happened. And that shit is poisonous. It has polluted my soul, tainted the way I think, the way I feel, the way I live, and it has turned me into a man my mother would be ashamed of.
The revelation hurts in ways I can't explain.
There's nothing like your best friend calling you an asshole to put you firmly in your place.
"I'm—I'm…" I swallow, my throat clogged with guilt. "I'm sorry, man."
He just shakes his head. "It isn’t me you should be saying that to."
"I know." I nod. "You're right. But I still am. Sorry, I mean."
Taking pity on me, he lays a reassuring hand on my shoulder, showing me more kindness than I deserve right now. But that's Alex—loyal and kind to the people he loves, even if he's mad at them.
"Brynn Bear is gonna hate me for this," he says, more to himself than to me. "I think you should see for yourself why she was too busy to help you today."
"Really?" I look at him, surprised.
"Yeah. I'll text you the address. You should go now."
My gaze swings back to my daughter, lying back on the rug with a foot in her mouth. "What about—"
"I've got her," he cuts me off. "Go."
I guess I don't have a choice but to swallow my pride and do exactly as he says.