Chapter 36
James
Nina’s arms are wrapped around Zio’s waist so that the front of her body is tucked against his side, his blazer tossed over her shoulders. Through the lens, I can just see the sides of their faces, her head resting on his shoulder, their eyes turned up toward the night sky. My finger is moving so fast that I’ve lost any sense of how many photos I’ve snapped of the people around me. Another burst of white light explodes over Urbino, branches of gold stretch in every direction, reaching and falling over each other like glowing acrobats in the sky, and Leo whispers something into Nina’s ear. This picture—this moment—will be my anniversary gift to them next month when their marriage turns forty.
I turn my attention back to where Ava stands beside Uvaldi just as a dazzling display of red and blue is unleashed over the dome of the palazzo. Her arm is hooked in his, and a pang of absurd jealousy shoots through me at the fact that he gets to feel the soft skin on the underside of her arm. I’m an idiot. Letting myself get swept up in this—in her. But I know that there’s no stopping this now. I tried avoidance and it failed—maybe even made things worse since the way we collided today felt twice as shattering as the first time.
I’m in a car with no brakes and the speedometer is climbing past one hundred. And I have zero willpower to let up on the gas.
I’m just hoping to survive the crash.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?”
I drop the camera and find Tammy sitting beside me, grinning at me like she has a secret that I’ll really want to hear. I’ve only spent about two hours with her, and for most of the time we were eating and drinking, but it was enough to see how good she and Ava are for each other. All of that armor Ava wore has been stripped away and replaced with this effusive, glowing warmth. I’ve heard Ava laugh more tonight than I have the entire time she’s been here. And her laugh is my new favorite sound.
“How are you finding Urbino?” I ask her, nearly yelling so that she can hear me over the booming pops of the fireworks.
She turns her gaze out toward the city.
“What’s not to love,” she yells, then leans back on her elbows. “Thank you for letting me stay in your apartment,” she adds.
I look back to where Ava is laughing at something Uvaldi has said, and I suppress the urge to lift the camera. Tammy is inspecting me like a rental car before it’s left the lot, and I don’t need to let her see the dents Ava has made.
“Technically, it was Ava’s apartment for the month,” I say, but Tammy waves that detail away.
“To be honest with you, I think she was ecstatic to give me the apartment so that she could stay in that bougie pool house. She’s grown quite fond of being here with—” She pauses and looks over at Ava, who is giving Tammy a warning look over her shoulder, despite the fact that she can’t possibly hear her. “With your family.”
I bite back a chuckle when Tammy finger waves back at Ava.
“Well, my family has grown quite fond of her, believe me.”
Ava is whispering something to Uvaldi, pushing up on her toes so she is even with his ear, and a series of golden light explodes over their heads.
“And you? Have you grown fond of her?” Tammy asks.
Too fond.
“She’s alright,” I say, and Tammy laughs.
Maso has begun to light sparklers and is waving one in circles around his head. I want to tell him his curly nest of hair is going to catch on fire, but Nina reaches out and smacks the back of his head before I get the chance. He lowers the sparkler and lights another for Ava, handing it over with a shit-eating grin. Ava takes it from him and rolls her eyes when he purposely lets his finger glide over hers.
“I’ve never seen her this happy,” Tammy tells me.
I watch Ava spell her name with the sparkler in the air and I snap a few shots of the trail of light she creates with her wide-eyed, dazzling face behind it.
“My brother is a moron,” Tammy adds and that grabs my attention away from the shot.
“Your brother?”
She tilts her head to one side.
“Yeah, my twin brother. Her boyfriend—well, ex-boyfriend,” she clarifies.
Senator Douche is Tammy’s twin? Che cazzo?
“I didn’t realize—” I didn’t realize what? That I know nothing about Ava? That there’s no way she’ll ever escape her ex if her best friend is his twin?
“Please don’t hold it against me,” Tammy says, her smile fading slightly at the corners. “Like I said. He’s a moron. And I’m happy Ava is …”
Her voice trails off and she holds out her hand gesturing to all of me.
“Is?” I ask.
“Is happy. Is free. Is doing what she wants for once instead of following one of her carefully laid out plans.” She lets out a breath. “Whatever the hell you two are doing—it’s good for her.”
I look back to the sky just as the finale starts, the rapid succession of explosions rattling inside my ears as the sky turns gold.
Whatever the hell you two are doing.
Is it good for her? Because it feels good to me. Even with the fear nagging and pulling at the edges of my thoughts, all of that goes away when I’m with her. I want everything I can get—as much of her as she’ll give.
Silence stretches across the hilltop as the last flickers of light fly across the sky. I lift the camera one last time and twist the focus until the details of Ava’s mouth are clear enough to me that I can taste our kiss from today. She senses me, turns her gaze back over her shoulder, and gives me the softest smile. The trails of gold slide slowly down behind her, but the angle makes it look like they are falling in her hair and on her shoulders—like she’s being dusted in gold.
I lower the camera and smile back at Ava with a rush of satisfaction, knowing deep down that I just took the most beautiful photograph of my life.