Chapter 10
10
I’m sitting in a bar that’s trying very hard to be trendy, sipping on a cocktail, doing my best to enjoy my date – and not think about my ex waiting at home for me with a shepherd’s pie. I can just imagine him there, sitting by the door, fish slice in hand as the food goes cold, staring into space, waiting for me…
The man sitting across from me is Oliver, who has explained – twice now – that he’s a quantity surveyor (so sadly not a property magnate who is going to put me up in a penthouse) and no, I still don’t really understand what that is, but he didn’t explain it in an especially exciting way, so I figured we could just leave it at that.
I take a sip of my cocktail, which is as silly-looking as they come, but I’m into it. It’s bright pink, with an old-school umbrella, a slice of pineapple, and a cherry that’s impaled on a tiny plastic sword. It’s called a Big Retro and it’s certainly living up to its name – it’s delicious too.
Oliver, on the other hand, is sipping on a tonic water. When he first told me he didn’t drink, I’d assumed – because I’m a ridiculous person who maybe drinks too much – that it was because he’d had a problem in the past. But nope, he’s just not a fan of drinking. There’s obviously nothing wrong with that, but I’m starting to realise that I might be a bit too fond of hanging out in bars and being silly for the two of us to hit it off.
Oliver has just been telling me about his hobbies and the top of the list appears to be playing Final Fantasy video games, because he’s been telling me about them for, oh, I don’t know, (what feels like) six hours now.
‘…that’s why I thought I’d replay them all, in order,’ he continues. ‘Original consoles, obviously, unless there’s been a remake or a remaster, in which case I play it on the more current gen.’
‘Yeah, absolutely,’ I say, unsure what exactly I’m agreeing to.
‘The early games, especially, have this raw quality to them,’ he continues. ‘You can’t really replicate that feeling with modern technology. However, the remasters – well, some of them are good, but they lose the charm of the originals, even if the revamped textures and mechanics are far superior. It’s all too polished now. Except for Final Fantasy VII , of course. But even then, I still like to go back to the original.’
‘Yeah, totally,’ I reply, still none the wiser, still no idea what a chocobo is – but he really seems to like them, so…
The conversation isn’t exactly flowing. I need to do something, to liven things up.
‘I know, let’s play a game,’ I suggest.
Oliver raises an eyebrow.
‘A video game?’ he replies.
‘No, like, a real-life one,’ I say. ‘Like a party game.’
‘Such as?’
‘Truth or dare,’ I say, because why not?
‘I’ve never played, but isn’t it kind of dumb to pick dare?’ he replies, clearly missing the point.
I can’t help but laugh. I suppose he has a point.
‘Okay, fine. We’ll stick to truth. But if you don’t want to answer a question, you have to drink.’
I glance down at his tonic water, realising how silly that sounds.
‘Well, yeah, it’s fine, just… let’s just see how it goes,’ I say.
He shrugs.
‘All right, fine. You first,’ he says, not sounding all that into it.
I tap my finger on my chin, pretending to think hard.
‘What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?’ I ask – more than anything, I just want to know, to get a sense of what I’m dealing with here.
He takes a moment, clearly digging deep for something wild.
‘Well, I was visiting a site for work, and I heard they had this, well, this really tall tree, growing in the woodland nearby. We’re talking really tall – you’ve never seen a tree so tall, or so old. So, I crossed the train tracks to go have a look.’
‘Oh, wow,’ I say, not meaning it in the way he takes it.
‘They were clearly disused tracks,’ he reassures me, ‘but I’d stated in my health and safety report that I wouldn’t be going near them.’
He gives me a look that makes me feel like he thinks he’s Jason Statham right now.
‘Oh, you bad boy,’ I say flatly, barely managing to keep a straight face.
‘Right?’ He grins, clearly thinking he’s nailed it. Then he thinks for a moment. ‘Worst date you’ve been on?’
Oh, is he joking?
‘And the best,’ he adds quickly. ‘Tell me both.’
I take a sip of my cocktail, stalling.
‘You know what, they might actually be the same date,’ I confess.
‘How so?’ he asks.
I bite my lip, as I try to carefully let just some of the memories come to the forefront of my brain.
‘I had an absolute dream date with this really cool guy,’ I tell him. ‘Everything was going perfectly. But then… things started going wrong, really wrong. I’m talking disaster movie, criminal-damage levels of wrong. It was like whatever we had between us was so powerful that when we got together, there was, like, a fallout zone – a blast radius of carnage around us. You know what I mean?’
He sighs, clearly unimpressed.
‘And I’m supposed to compete with nuclear fallout?’ he replies.
‘Well, no, because it was awful, and we swore we would never see each other again,’ I explain. ‘And, well, he’s taking that promise very seriously. I haven’t heard from him since.’
I say that like he ghosted me when really it was a joint decision to part ways, for the good of all mankind, but even so… it really did feel like I lost something.
‘Lucky for me, I guess,’ Oliver says, with just a hint of sarcasm in his voice. ‘And you – it sounds like you had a lucky escape.’
‘Oh, yeah, definitely,’ I reply. Ugh, I need to get him out of my head. Focus, Lana, you’re on a date. Forget about him .
‘Okay, your question… shag, marry, kill?—’
‘I don’t do that,’ Oliver interrupts.
‘You don’t do what?’ I reply.
‘I don’t shag, marry, or kill people,’ he says, dead serious.
I burst out laughing, but he just stares at me, unamused.
‘I mean, I don’t play that game,’ he clarifies. ‘It’s demeaning to women.’
‘I could give you three men,’ I suggest, but he’s even less taken with that idea.
Right, maybe not then.
This date is officially a stinker. Marginally better than staying home to eat shepherd’s pie with my ex… but only just.