Chapter 23
23
I place my index finger silently over my lips and widen my eyes in Ethan’s direction to let him know that I’m being serious. He has to be quiet.
It takes me the best part of a minute to place my key in the lock and turn it ever so softly, making sure that my other keys don’t make a tinkling sound, that the lock doesn’t make too much noise as it turns, that the door hasn’t suddenly developed a new extra-loud creak (or that Steve hasn’t fitted it with one of those bells that shops have, so that you know when customers walk in).
I hold up my hand, letting Ethan know to stay put in the doorway, before creeping in to peer around into the living room, to make sure that Steve hasn’t sat up waiting for me. It’s not like he hasn’t done it before.
Without saying a word, I beckon Ethan indoors with my hand. Impressively, he manages to close the door and lock it without much of a sound. Now all that’s left to do is make it to my bedroom.
Steve is normally very strict about this being a ‘shoes off at the door’ home, but do you know what makes him even angrier than that? Me fraternising with boys. The best thing I can do is get the two of us safely to my bedroom, where we can hide out for the rest of the night, and then I’ll either sneak Ethan out as soon as it’s morning, or I’ll keep him here until Steve goes to work. Lucky for me (not that any part of this feels lucky in any way) I’m off work tomorrow, to get the last of my things ready, before flying in the early hours of the next day. This is my last full night of sleep before I catch my flight to Sydney, and this is how I’m spending it. Incredible.
Ethan carries his suitcase so that it doesn’t make any noises that might wake up Steve. He’s great at sneaking into flats, which makes me wonder if it’s a skill he picked up by sneaking out of them.
Inside my room, I close the door carefully behind me and finally exhale.
‘So, the walls aren’t that thick,’ I whisper to him. ‘But if we stick to whispering, we should be okay.’
‘Great,’ he calls back.
I don’t turn on the big light – not just because only psychopaths like the big light on, but because it feels more incognito to only turn on the dim light next to my bed.
‘Oh,’ Ethan blurts – still keeping his voice nice and quiet. ‘You only have a single bed.’
‘And you don’t have any other options,’ I tell him.
‘I can sleep on the floor, it’s all good,’ he replies.
I know that’s probably the safest thing to do, but I can’t be so cruel.
‘Don’t be daft, it’s freezing,’ I reply. ‘I’m sure we’re safe to share a bed. The universe only gets mad if it thinks we’re going to have sex.’
Ethan laughs, silently, and rolls his eyes.
‘So long as you don’t think it will cause a threat to society,’ he replies sarcastically.
I take off my things – my clothes and my jewellery, but I decide that my make-up can stay on for tonight – and climb into my sad little single bed. Ethan takes off his shirt, then his trousers, and I’m pretty sure he’s only doing it in a normal way, but the thirst trap is real regardless. This is like pay-per-view stuff.
I avert my eyes quickly, although I’m pretty sure he catches me looking because I notice his smile creeping onto his face.
Finally, Ethan gets into bed next to me. At first, he tries to go back to back with me, but he’s a muscular bloke, so we struggle to both fit.
‘There’s only one way you’ll fit, you’ll have to lie facing me,’ I tell him.
‘There are definitely other ways we could fit better,’ he points out. ‘We’d stack on top of each other better than we’d fit side by side.’
I laugh softly.
Ethan does as instructed, spooning up behind me. His body fits with mine perfectly. It feels as though he goes to put an arm around me, almost instinctively, but then he quickly returns it to his side.
For a moment we’re just silent. I can feel the heat from his body, his breath on my shoulder, his hips pressed tightly up against my own.
‘I can’t believe you tricked me into your single bed,’ he jokes, lightening the mood.
‘I mean, if we’re saying things we can’t believe – I can’t believe you flooded a hotel,’ I reply.
‘Erm, you mean we flooded a hotel,’ he corrects me. ‘That bath was for the two of us.’
‘Okay, but you were the one who left it running,’ I point out.
‘You were the one distracting me,’ he replies. ‘It was an honest mistake – I can’t believe they kicked us out.’
‘They said they were fully booked,’ I say, shrugging my shoulders.
‘Yeah, well, I would have kicked us out too,’ he says, laughing quietly. ‘And don’t shrug your shoulders because when you do, your bum wiggles – now is not the time to be bumping and grinding on me. Unless you’re actually planning on bumping and grinding on me, that is.’
‘Sorry,’ I say, smiling to myself.
I subtly but intentionally arch my back, pressing myself against him slightly.
‘You’re doing that on purpose,’ he says.
‘Doing what?’ I reply, making it a bit more obvious this time.
‘Hey, you’re the one who’s too scared to go through with it,’ he points out. ‘I could do this all night…’
‘I know you could,’ I reply. ‘But having sex with you is like a bin fire.’
‘Can I put that on my sex CV, please?’ he asks jokily.
‘Sorry, I don’t mean that as bad as it sounds, it’s just that, you know, it’s really hot and it’s really dirty but it’s…’
‘A bin?’ he replies.
‘Yeah, so as much as I want to do this…’
I wiggle back into him with intent, even though I know I shouldn’t, and the universe is in there like a shot. My sad little single bed gives way, crashing to the floor with a loud bang. There is no way Steve didn’t hear that.
‘Shit,’ I say under my breath – not that there’s much need for that now. ‘Can you hide?’
‘Where, under the bed?’ he jokes as he glances around.
It’s too late. The bedroom door flies open.
‘Lana, what the hell?’ Steve replies.
It’s Steve, wearing his green stripy PJs and a face like thunder.
I look to Ethan, just in case he’s managed to hide in time, but all he’s done is lie face down on the mattress – the mattress that is now on the floor.
‘Lana?’ he prompts me again.
‘Oh my God, I don’t know what happened, the bed just broke,’ I say with a faux innocence that he’s not buying.
‘Lana, this is so, so disrespectful,’ he replies. ‘I generously give you a place to stay and you have sex in my bed? You know the rules about having guests. What’s wrong with him?’
Oh, so it’s his bed? So he gets to say who can and can’t sleep in it? And Ethan is genuinely playing dead right now and, honestly, it’s an impressive tactic. Thankfully Steve doesn’t recognise him from work.
‘He’s sleeping. We had nowhere else to go,’ I begin, but he’s not having it.
‘I hear round the back of Wetherspoons is perfect for this sort of thing.’
I know, now isn’t the time to make a joke, but do I let a silly thing like that stop me? No. No, I do not.
‘Which Wetherspoons?’ I ask.
Ethan falters ever so slightly, his chest bouncing as he laughs. Luckily only I notice.
‘Lana, you have taken advantage of me for long enough,’ Steve barks, not seeing the funny side to this at all. ‘I want you out of here. I know you’re going to Australia tomorrow so, go, get your trip over with, and then when you come back I want your things gone. And I want him out of here, before I wake up. Clear?’
‘Clear,’ I repeat back to him.
Steve slams the door behind him, before heading back to bed. Safe in the knowledge that the coast is clear, Ethan rolls onto his back.
‘That’s—’
‘Yeah, yeah, I know what you’re going to say,’ Ethan interrupts me. ‘That’s the universe, at it again. You take the floor with the mattress, I’ll take the floor without.’
Ethan grabs the extra throw from my bed, leaving me with the duvet.
See what I mean? The two of us create nothing but carnage. This can never happen again.