With a Grain of Salt (Lindell Book 3)

Chapter 24

Claire

It’s not that I really expected the man to open his mouth and call me names, but I don’t expect him to sit right beside me, wrap his arm around my back, and pull me to his chest.

If I weren’t so used to the lack of human contact other than hugging and holding Larkin, I might find comfort in the embrace, but it’s awkward.

As if he has magical powers, his touch makes another sob escape from my throat. I hate feeling weak, and looking weak in front of others is ten times worse.

He doesn’t seem to mind my tears wetting his shirt as his hand rubs comforting circles on my back. His heartbeat is strong in my ear, his breathing normal and urging me to get mine in sync.

It takes a few long minutes before our breaths match, and I find that my heart rate is coming back down as well. The tears begin to subside, and all the while, his hand runs magical circles on my back. He’s like an emotional support animal, and I huff a laugh at the thought. He doesn’t confront me about the noise, and I wonder if he’s out of his element here. It’s possible that he has comforted many women in his past and just that thought threatens to make my heart rate kick back up a notch. His history shouldn’t matter at all. I have no claim to this man. Hell, even the man I married had no problem smiling at me before walking out of the bar with another woman on his arm.

I was indifferent to Hux and what he was doing after we got married. I knew my place in his life, and other than a name on the marriage license and my addition to his insurance, I meant nothing to him. I was fine with that.

I imagine being in the same position in Walker’s life and it hurts my feelings. That is too dangerous of a thought to let slip inside of me.

I press my palm against his chest to sit up straight, but he tightens his grip on me for the briefest of seconds before letting me go.

“Sorry,” I mutter, using the back of my hand to swipe at the wetness staining my cheeks.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. In a few minutes, I may be the one issuing an apology, but I have questions. I want you to know they come from a non-judgment zone. Well, there will be judgment, but it won’t be directed at you.”

I knew better than to think this man would just let it all go and forget he found the letter from the credit card company and my confession about my connection to Huxley.

I nod, knowing the man is like a dog with a bone and won’t let it go.

“You can ask,” I begin. “But I have the right to refuse to answer.”

I watch his eyes dip to my legs when I cross them and try to tug the thin towel over my knee but fail.

A spark of the same heat I felt last night threatens to set me on fire for him, but I shove it down, smothering it before it can turn into another raging fire.

I lied about being late to pick up Larkin. The sun is barely coming up, and Nora would have a fit if I came to her house and insisted that she wake Larkin up. The kid is a girl after my own heart and prefers to sleep in late when she can.

“You came to Lindell to let the Kennedys know you and Hux were married and you were pregnant, but what about your other family? The ones back in El Paso?”

“I only have my mom. My dad was an absent father and I haven’t seen nor heard from him in over fifteen years. My mom told me I made my bed when she found out Hux died. She wouldn’t help me if she could, but honestly, she hasn’t made the best life decisions herself.”

Instead of voicing opinions about my mom, he remains silent so I can continue.

“I felt like such a coward coming here and standing on their front porch, but I never imagined they’d look at me with such disdain. Nora told me that Hux would never marry a woman like me.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” he growls, but then he pulls in a deep breath.

I try not to smile at his defensiveness. I can’t recall the last time someone stood in my corner much less acted like they wanted to take up arms and advocate for me. I don’t know what to do with the emotions it makes me feel, but I do know not to look too much into it.

Despite the way Nora looks at me and treats me, there is no shortage of nice people in Lindell. They’re quick to offer help, and I have to see the way he’s acting no differently. It’s not personal. The man would help anyone, and I’d be a fool to read more than that into it.

“She’s just a hateful person,” I mutter.

“She’s changed since Hux died. I’m not making excuses for her,” he says quickly. “I can’t imagine losing my child. It has to be an unbearable pain.”

“I can’t either,” I say, not even letting my brain travel in that direction.

Larkin is literally my entire life. If she weren’t here, I don’t know that I could go on. I had empathy for Nora when I came to town, but it’s so damn difficult to hold on to that when she’s so hateful to me all the time.

“This is so distracting,” he whispers, his finger trailing up my bare leg and teasing the hem of my towel.

“Get your mind out of the gutter,” I tell him, swatting at his hand until he pulls it back and places it in his lap. “I came to Lindell because I needed the help, but, more importantly, I came because I wanted someone other than me to be responsible for all his spending. Hux was my husband in name only. It was his solution to a big problem, and since he wasn’t even out of training yet, offering his insurance was the only thing he had.”

“Makes sense.”

“We didn’t know each other well.”

“But you attempted a relationship after you got married?”

I scoff and shake my head.

“Not that I wanted that with him, but Hux was never the type of guy to actually settle down. We didn’t even tell people we were married. There were no rings.”

“Claire, I—” He runs his hand over the top of his head before speaking again. “You had a ring on when you came to town.”

My cheeks heat with embarrassment.

“I bought a gold band before coming to town. Although we didn’t know each other well, he told me about his parents and how they forced him to join the military. I figured the truth that he was married would be more palatable if there was a reminder of it on my hand.”

He nods in understanding instead of passing judgment on the lie I told without having to use words.

“Just so you know, Hux was a bum. His joining the military was more an effort at tough love by the Kennedys rather than anything hateful. But it was their own doing because they created that laziness in him by giving him everything he ever wanted.”

“I figured that much,” I whisper, shifting my weight on the bed.

I don’t consider the things Hux told me as lies, but every person has their own viewpoint. It had to have been tough for them to throw him out into the world after babying him all his life.

When I shift again, it pulls his attention right back to my legs. The way his tongue sneaks out and wets his lower lip makes me a little crazy. This man was supposed to be an escape. He was supposed to be a little fun, but I know better than to let my work life and my personal life get tangled, even though I don’t really have a personal life to speak of.

“Really?” I say, but there’s no heat in my tone.

I sort of like that he finds me attractive enough that he can get distracted in the middle of a serious conversation.

“My thoughts can be one of two places, Claire,” he says, lifting his eyes to mine. “On those sexy-as-hell legs of yours or on this credit card issue. You decide. Do you want to orgasm or do you want me to try and fix what’s broken?”

It should be an easy answer. I hate people getting in my business. I should jump up and down and demand the sex, but what if he can really help? What if I’ve been stubborn long enough? Fighting the good fight doesn’t really matter at the end of the day, and I’ve been drowning for much too long already.

“There’s a third option,” I tell him. “You could leave.”

His smile drops away and I hate the absence of it. I know he was trying to be fun and flirty, but I don’t have room for it in my life. Every second of every day is planned out. I have to work, make money, and stay on this hamster wheel even though I know I’ll never make it to the end of the dark tunnel I’ve been traveling in for years. At the same time, I can never give up. If the courts come for me, I need to be able to show them that I’ve tried. I need proof of my efforts if I have any hope of leniency.

“Claire,” he says to my back when I cross the room and grab some clothes out of the closet.

“See you at work on Wednesday.”

He’s still frowning when I step into the bathroom and close the door, making sure the lock is clicked in place like I did earlier.

I pull in several deep breaths as I stare at myself in the mirror. I’m not trying to be a hero, and no one has ever been able to accuse me of being a martyr, but Walker has no business getting stuck in this mess with me.

I don’t know how he could help, but I’d never take money from the man. Especially not after sleeping with him.

I shiver at the thought of him leaving my bed and putting cash on the bedside table.

To each their own, but it would make me feel too much like a prostitute.

I’m halfway dressed when I hear the roar of his truck outside of my little duplex, and I’m glad he chose to leave rather than sticking around and demanding that I let him help me.

We’ve crossed too many lines as it is.

I leave the bathroom, and the second I go to grab my purse so I can pick up Larkin, it hits me.

I left my car at the Graves Estate last night and rode back here with Walker.

I rush to the front of the duplex, knowing I have no hope of catching him, but when I pull the front door open, he’s sitting there in the parking lot, the truck idling as he watches the front door.

I pull it closed and lock it before hanging my head and walking toward him.

The passenger side door is locked when I go to tug it open, and instead of him hitting the unlock button, he rolls down the window.

“Hey,” he says, laughter in his tone. “What’s up?”

I glare at the man. He knows what I need, yet it seems he’s going to make me ask for it anyway.

“I rode with you last night.”

“You did.”

I lick my teeth in irritation as I glare at him.

“Can you give me a ride back to my car?”

“I think I can handle that,” he says, the lock clicking open.

He waits for me to climb inside and put my seatbelt on. The warmth in the cab wraps around me as I sink into his butter-soft seat.

He doesn’t say anything until he pulls out of the duplex parking lot, and even then, I have no idea what to do with what he says.

“I’ve learned a lot about you in the last twenty-four hours. It changes a lot of things for me.”

He doesn’t say another word after that as he drives across town. I feel a little relief in that and at the sight of several other cars that were left behind after the wedding reception last night.

“I had fun last night,” I say. “It can’t happen again.”

He watches me, but there’s no confusion in his eyes. His smile doesn’t fade, but I don’t get the feeling that he’s accepting what I’m saying either.

Instead of being upset and accusing him of not being able to accept no as an answer, it makes a thrill of possibility skate up my spine.

I don’t double down. Instead, I thank him for the ride and climb out of his truck. Like a Southern gentleman would be expected of doing, he waits until my car starts and I begin to back up before pulling away.