Without Vanity or Pride: A Pride and Prejudice Variation Duology

Chapter 2

As the noise of busy London streets faded into the distance, the insistent tapping of leather boots upon the floor of the carriage grew louder, calling attention to the obvious anxiety of one of the fine conveyance’s occupants. While irritation would have been his natural response, as Fitzwilliam Darcy took in the nervous demeanour of his dear friend, he could only feel guilt at the role he had played in the present circumstances.

“Bingley, you will wear yourself out before we reach St Albans. I can loan you a book if it will help settle your mind.”

As his ordinarily unruffled friend raked a nervous hand through his blond locks, he replied, “I could never quite master reading in a moving carriage. Though I suppose I have yet to master the art while seated in my own library.”

“I shall not venture a response to that statement.”

With a slight chuckle, Charles Bingley responded, “I appreciate that, and I apologise for my distraction. I still cannot believe that I may see my angel as soon as tomorrow, yet—yet I cannot help but believe that my return will be unwelcome. It was not very gallant of me to simply abandon the area last autumn without taking proper leave of my neighbours. She would be well-justified in hating me for my callous actions.”

“A fault that ought to be counted as mine,” Darcy uttered softly with true remorse.

“Yes, well, I believe it matters little now.” With a slight shrug of his shoulders, Bingley turned his attention to the changing landscape beyond the carriage window, leaving Darcy alone with his thoughts.

Once again, the crushing weight of his past mistakes consumed Darcy’s thinking. It had taken him months since his devastating disappointment in Hunsford to confess his deception to his friend regarding the matter of Miss Jane Bennet. Bingley had been by turns shocked and angered at Darcy’s presumption, though to his credit, he acknowledged his own error in deferring so completely to another’s opinion. At least Bingley had accepted that Darcy had never meant to injure him or the lady, but rather sought to protect his friend through his misguided actions. Bingley’s sisters, however, were not granted the same reprieve. Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst thought nothing of their brother’s wounded heart, nor what their actions had wrought upon the kind and gentle Miss Bennet. Together, they simply wished to further their own social ambitions through a much loftier marriage for their brother, ambitions that would not be satisfied by an unknown and practically penniless country squire’s daughter.

One thing for which Darcy was eternally grateful was the absence of Miss Bingley in his Hertfordshire-bound coach. When his friend resolved to return to his leased estate of Netherfield Park, he requested Darcy’s presence, but only if he would fully support his efforts to woo and marry Miss Bennet. As her opposition to the marriage was well known, Miss Bingley was not granted a similar invitation.

“Pray excuse me for asking, but I wonder—how did your sister react to your plans to return to Netherfield?”

At his question, Bingley coloured and tugged at his cravat. “Well, that is, I-I am not sure…well, dash it all, Darcy, I simply do not know!”

“I do not take your meaning. How could you possibly not know?”

“I was so impatient to begin our journey that I simply quit my rooms at The Albany and had my man send over my effects to Darcy House. I did stop at the Hursts’ home to leave a note, but I confess I did not wait for a response, nor was I certain that my sisters were in residence.”

“You left a note?” Darcy’s incredulous tone brought a sheepish look to Bingley’s visage.

“Very well, my courage escaped me! To be quite frank, I am still extremely vexed by my sister’s false friendship towards Miss Bennet and her terrible actions against me. I knew she would vent her spleen upon me the minute she discovered my purpose in returning, and I simply wished to spare myself her vitriol.”

“You do realise that after reading your missive, Miss Bingley may take it upon herself to travel to Hertfordshire and foil your plans,” Darcy pointed out, uneasy with the likelihood of Miss Bingley’s appearance and how it might disrupt his own intentions for their stay near Meryton. Intentions that Darcy had not yet relayed even to Bingley, so closely did he hold them to his heart.

“My sister and the Hursts were invited to a house party in Sussex—some old family friend of Hurst’s father. Last I knew, they were to leave in a se’nnight. I believe the heir to the estate is unwed, and Louisa has great plans for Caroline during their stay. It is about time my sister married, and I think that after our stay at Pemberley this past summer she has finally given up her designs on you.”

Darcy could not fully share Bingley’s optimism about his sister’s hopes. While it would relieve him greatly if the lady chose to divert her attentions elsewhere, he did not believe she would resign herself so easily to her brother’s prospective bride.

“I can only hope you are correct in this instance, for I do not believe your sister would aid your efforts to win Miss Bennet, as her disdain for some of the ladies at Longbourn was quite well-marked.”

“Ah yes, Miss Elizabeth. Caroline was quite put out by the lady’s presence in Derbyshire, though I must say, I have always enjoyed Miss Elizabeth’s lively manners and how she so skilfully deflects Caroline’s remarks with kindness. She even seemed to get on well with you, if I recall, with none of those debates you always seemed to start at Netherfield.”

“Yes, she is truly an estimable woman.”

Darcy felt discomfited by Bingley’s recollections, as he did not wish to ruminate on Elizabeth’s past antipathy towards him.

Elizabeth.

If only Bingley knew the true reason he had so readily consented to return to Hertfordshire. While he had every intention of supporting his friend, Darcy’s true purpose was to see her again, and to ascertain if she could ever hold him in tender regard—to see if she could come to love him as ardently as he loved her.

Surprised and delighted by her presence in Derbyshire over the summer, Darcy was certain he had detected a softening in her manner towards him. He had even begun to hope that she might possibly accept him before she quit Lambton, but all of his desires had come crashing down with one fateful letter. Recalling the pain and anguish he felt at her tears over her sister’s ill-considered elopement, Darcy knew he would feel infinitely worse were she to discover his role in her sister’s patched up marriage.

He could not bear to receive her gratitude, and truly, such feelings would be misguided at best. Gratitude? For saving her family’s reputation by tying them forever to the most loathsome man of his acquaintance? If only her sister had been willing to leave Wickham behind when he discovered the pair in London, he could have found a more suitable match. Of this Darcy was certain.

What was I thinking? Surely, she must have suffered through the Wickhams’ visit to Longbourn. The only consolation she most likely experienced was the brevity of the encounter! How could I, who knows better than most, expose Elizabeth to the mortification that close affiliation to Wickham affords?

Perhaps I should not underestimate her resilience, though she withstood my boorish behaviour at Netherfield and Rosings without even betraying a hint of her dislike. She has probably skewered her new brother with her keen wit a hundred times over—and all with a beautiful smile and twinkling eyes. I could travel the world and never find her equal. She is worth anything and everything—sister to Wickham be damned! But will she want me?

Darcy had carefully timed their arrival in the neighbourhood for after the Wickhams’ departure for Newcastle, fully aware that he would not be able to present himself at his best if he were forced to share the newly married couple’s company. He also sincerely doubted young Mrs Wickham’s ability to keep his actions regarding their marriage a secret, since the lady had ably demonstrated that discretion was not an attribute she possessed. Darcy hoped that a few days would be enough to restore Elizabeth’s equanimity after the Wickhams’ removal and, more importantly, that Bingley’s renewed attentions towards her dearest sister would please her. He fervently wished to secure her happiness in all things, and just maybe, he himself would feature in her greater contentment.

The sharp, incessant tapping of fingertips on the opposite windowpane drew Darcy’s attention once again to his nervous friend. So many hopes were wrapped up in this one visit, and despite his own feelings of trepidation, Darcy felt that genuine felicity for Bingley and himself could quite possibly be within reach.