Chapter 9
Sitting in stunned silence in her family’s drawing room, Elizabeth’s hand still rested over her mouth as Mr Darcy bid his hasty adieu. Despite the general bewilderment of the room, she could think on nothing except the one fact she had not allowed herself to truly believe until that moment: that Mr Darcy had done everything for her—only her—and all because he loved her still. He had braved every embarrassment, every degradation that scouring the seedy inns of London could afford, to unite two utterly selfish individuals and save her family from scorn and ridicule, and it had all been for her and her alone.
The look in his eyes—such deep affection and yearning—how did I fail to notice it before? I have been a blind fool!
Could she ever come to deserve a love so ardent and sincere? Elizabeth supposed the answer did not truly matter, as Mr Darcy seemed to offer such devotion willingly, despite her many faults and offences against him.
As the occupants of the parlour slowly roused themselves from their amazed quietude, she noticed Jane’s smile directed solely upon her. Elizabeth nodded her head in acknowledgement, while poor Mr Bingley received the brunt of her mother’s perplexed musings.
“But surely, you must have known something of your friend’s assistance! I still cannot understand what has happened. Why would Mr Darcy have met with my brother over Lydia’s marriage? ‘Tis most unsettling!”
“Madam, I assure you I know absolutely nothing of the matter! Quite frankly, I am just as bewildered as anyone!”
As her mother began to complain of her nerves, Elizabeth caught her father’s questioning gaze, and before he could speak what was so clearly on his mind, she excused herself from the room to pursue Mr Darcy. There had been too many misunderstandings, too many dashed hopes, to allow any sort of confusion to remain between them. She must tell him—nay, she needed to let him know how much she truly and unreservedly loved him.
Espying him by the stables, mounting a carriage horse and preparing to leave, Elizabeth ran out to the main drive and placed herself firmly in his path. This conversation was absolutely necessary, in fact, if she had only been brave enough to raise the topic after reading her aunt’s letter, she might have spared him the humiliation he had just experienced.
As he approached, she called out, “Please, do not go. I would speak to you, if I may.”
Though she could sense her request ran contrary to his wishes, he nevertheless dismounted and approached her.
“I do not know why you would wish for my presence. Not when it is I and I alone who is responsible for what you have endured with that cur residing in your home.” Mr Darcy took off his hat and ran a hand through his hair, rendering him slightly dishevelled and more discomposed than Elizabeth had ever seen him.
“I never meant for you to learn about my involvement. I worried then that you might develop some mistaken feelings of gratitude towards me for saving your family’s reputation. Gratitude is the last thing I would want from you. All I have ever desired—what I long for and crave with every fibre of my being—is that one day you would love me as fiercely and constantly as I love you.”
His words nearly overwhelmed her, such was her joy at hearing him express what she had long feared he might never utter again. Before she could reassure him, he continued, pacing back and forth as his thoughts tumbled out.
“The more I pondered matters after the deed was done, I could not help but feel that I had erred. How could you ever be happy to count such a man as your brother?”
She endeavoured to stop his outpouring of self-reproach, but he anticipated her. “No, do not attempt to deny it! I can see how you have suffered his unwelcome attentions. I should have found a better way! Surely, there must have been someone else who could have been found to marry your sister—an honourable man who would not plague your family for all of your days.”
Stopping him at last, Elizabeth interjected, “For someone so commonly described as reticent, you certainly have much to say this morning. I have something I would tell you, before my courage fails me, and I would beg you not to interrupt.”
He nodded briefly, though his expression seemed similar to a condemned man facing the gallows.
“Would you like to know what my first thought was when you quit the inn at Lambton?” Elizabeth asked, her question clearly taking him by surprise. “It was precisely at that moment I fully realised what my foolish behaviour at Hunsford had cost me. It had cost me you.
“I knew of your involvement in the whole sorry affair before you even arrived.” Shock overran his features, but she continued before he could speak. “As Kitty mentioned, Lydia had already betrayed your presence at her wedding, so I wrote to my aunt Gardiner and begged her to tell me all. You are beyond doubt, the best man I have ever known. It was too much for me to believe that you could ever bring yourself to love me again when I carried the burden of a fallen sister, and once she was saved, even my vanity was insufficient to believe that you could bear being brother to Wickham, that you could join your family to one who had so cruelly injured your own. Pray forgive me, but I did not believe anyone could ever love me so well as that.”
Tears slowly spilled down Elizabeth’s cheeks as she continued, her heightened emotions nearly choking her. “And now…now you stand here claiming that all you have ever wished is for me to love you, and I do! I believe I always will.”
At her words, Mr Darcy stepped forward to hold her in his embrace. “Elizabeth, my darling, please do not cry, for your tears are my undoing.”
He continued to hold her, speaking soft words of love in her ear as she slowly calmed, relishing the feel of his arms around her.
Once her tears had abated and only small shuddering breaths remained, Mr Darcy whispered with fervency, “Marry me, dearest, loveliest Elizabeth! Say that you will be mine as I am yours.”
Pulling back to give him a brilliant, watery smile, she nodded vigorously, crying anew as she said, “Yes! Yes a thousand times over! I love you so, Fitzwilliam!”
Her words produced the largest smile Elizabeth had ever seen on Mr Darcy’s face, complete with a devastatingly handsome set of dimples. How wonderful his happiness became him! Leaning his forehead against hers, he cupped her cheeks and wiped the remaining tears from her eyes. What followed surprised even Elizabeth as Mr Darcy raised her in his arms and swung her in a circle, laughing out his joy. As he set her back on her feet, she snaked her arms about his neck, hugging him fiercely in her delight.
A cough was heard from behind them, startling them both. Once Elizabeth had released Mr Darcy, she turned in embarrassment, only to spot her dumbfounded father gaping at the pair of them. Clearly, he had witnessed more than Elizabeth would have wished.
Addressing Mr Darcy with surprise, her father said, “So, this is the answer you could not give? In love with my Lizzy, are you? No need to answer, for the evidence before me is quite plain and frankly unsettling!”
“Papa!” Elizabeth protested, though she could not keep a laugh from her scolding tone.
“Allow me to have my say. I had thought you might possess some feelings, an inclination perhaps, for my daughter, but I cannot say I expected this, Mr Darcy!”
Turning to Elizabeth, he continued. “I recall informing you of my resolution to pay closer attention to my family, my daughters in particular, and here I have missed a fact of some significance! The daughter I always believed I knew best is in love—and do not attempt to deny it, for I see it written upon your very face—and I knew absolutely nothing about it!” Looking back and forth between the couple, he asked, “I assume there is quite the tale to tell?”
“I assure you, sir, I shall tell you all you wish to know if it will gain your consent for Miss Elizabeth’s hand in marriage.” Offering his arm, Elizabeth grasped it as she smiled up at him, her eyes beaming with delight.
“You will grant your consent, surely?” Elizabeth turned to her father, content to share this happy moment.
“I would never deny you, Lizzy, for I begin to think I have the measure of your young man. I wager you will do exceedingly well together. Exceedingly well, indeed.”