Without You I Have Nothing To Lose

1. Chapter One

Demetric

I woke up to the sound of my phone going off back to back.

The sun blinding me let me know I wasn’t in my own shit.

I looked over and saw Paris’s ass stretched out on the other side of the bed.

“Fuck,” I mumbled under my breath.

I looked at the phone again and saw it was my pops calling.

Well, he wasn’t my real pops.

I never knew who that nigga was.

Zeus and his wife Isabella were my foster parents.

Even though I was a grown ass man now, they were the closest thing I had to an actual family.

I even gained an aggravating ass little sister when I moved in with them when I was thirteen.

Noticing it was after ten, I knew this nigga was calling to talk shit.

I didn’t want to hear that shit right now, so I sent his ass to voicemail and got my ass up.

I don’t know how I slipped up and stayed over here in the first place.

The last thing I needed was for Paris to think some shit would come from this.

Cuffing a bitch was the last thing on my mind.

My mama Juanita showed me at an early age what a woman was good for, and that shit stuck with me.

Stretching, I got up to put my clothes on so I could dip.

I didn’t want to be here when she got up. Quietly, I dressed and on the way out, I let a few bills on the dresser. When I got in my car, I called Zeus back.

“I know you see the fuckin’ time, Meech. The fuck you at?” he barked into the phone. I knew he would be pissed, but he’d get over that shit. It was too early for all that damn yelling.

“I overslept,” was my response. Shit, it was true. I got fucked up with my homie, Kev, and ended up balls deep inside Paris’ pussy. Shit in between was a fuckin’ blur.

“Beat me to the house.” He hung up in my face. He did that shit to piss me off. I needed to go home and shower, but I didn’t need to hear this nigga’s mouth any more than I had to. I’d shower there if I had to. I still had my room and shit there, so it wouldn’t be nothing for me to go to my old room and shower and change clothes.

Pulling up to the house, I punched in the code and drove through the gate. I was glad this nigga wasn’t here. After letting myself in, the smell of cinnamon hit my nose. I knew that meant Ma Izzy made quesitos. Following the smell into the kitchen, I found her at the sink, washing the utensils she just used. When she noticed me, a smile quickly formed on her face.

“Hey, hijo.” I kissed her on the top of her head since I still needed to handle my hygiene.

“Wassup, Ma. You got it smelling good in here. I know you got a few for your boy to take wit’ him?” I smirked at her reaction because she knew she couldn’t cook shit without me taking something to the crib wit’ me. Ma Izzy was Puerto Rican, so when I moved in I got introduced to a lot of Hispanic dishes. Shit went beyond tacos and was good as fuck.

“You know I got my baby boy,” she responded in her thick accent. Zeus did good because Isabella Parsons was fine as fuck. She reminded me of La La Anthony. If I had met her outside of her house and not see her as the woman that raised me. I would’ve tried her. I preferred older women anyway. Paris was ten years older than me at thirty-three, but you couldn’t tell by looking at her or the way she acted sometimes, though.

“Boy, ain’t nobody got nothing in here for you. None of your old hoes fed you?” My sister, Jaylen, came into the kitchen and started her shit. She was already with the Parson’s a few years before I got here. Her parents got killed in a home invasion. When they found her, she was asleep by her parents’ dead body. She was three at the time, but still remembered that shit. I remember her having nightmares when she was younger and would come into my room to sleep with me. I didn’t have siblings with Juanita, so it was kind of cool to have somebody that needed me to protect them. So, now I have an aggravating ass twenty-one-year-old sister that I’d lay the entire world down behind.

“Stay out my business.” I mushed her head.

“Keep your hands off of me and you still look like yesterday.” She had a mug on her face that pulled a laugh from the pit of my stomach.

“Watch out. I’m about to go handle that.” I took the stairs in the kitchen that led upstairs and headed straight to my room to shower. When I walked inside, Paris was calling. Huffing, I answered the phone as I ambled into the bathroom.

“Yeah?” I answered, setting the phone on the counter.

“Why didn’t you wake me before you left?” she whined. I hated that shit.

“Didn’t think I had to. I knew how to let myself out.”

“You don’t have to be so brash with me, Demetric. I’m not one of these lil’ young girls you call yourself messing with,” she sassed, and I laughed at her dumb ass.

“Yet, you’re on my phone whining like a fuckin’ baby. I left because you know I didn’t plan on staying the night. I had some shit to handle wit’ my people and because I overslept, I gotta hear his fuckin’ mouth.” The phone was silent, but I knew her ass was still on the line because I could hear her breathing. “Aye, I’m not in high school. I’m not about to sit here and listen to you breathe on the fuckin’ phone. I just told you I had shit to do, and it’s clear that you don’t have shit to say.” I was about to press the end button on her ass, but she spoke up.

“Am I going to see you later?” she asked.

“I doubt it.” I hung up the phone before she could start all that whining shit. After I brushed my teeth, I hopped in the shower and washed yesterday off of me. When I got out, I felt like a new nigga. I knew Zeus was here by now, so I quickly dressed and headed back downstairs to find him in the kitchen feeling up Ma Izzy like they were some horny ass teenagers. I didn’t see Jay, so that meant she got light before they started their shit.

“Wassup, Pops?” I smirked. I knew that shit was going to piss him off. He hated it when I was late to meetings or missed them altogether. This nigga was looking at me like he wanted to shoot the shit out of me, but knew he would have to answer to Ma Izzy if he did. I may not have come from her, but you couldn’t tell her that. I didn’t take this nigga serious for a long time. He favored the singer Tank, and I just knew he was a soft ass nigga. That was until he knocked the wind out of me when I was fourteen. I called myself bucking at him, and that shit went left…fast. Ma Izzy had to come and get him off of me because that nigga was really beating my ass.

“Don’t wassup Pops me, lil’ nigga. You forgot how to tell time or some shit?” He grimaced. I threw my head back and swiped my hand down my face.

“Nah, I didn’t. I just overslept, is all.” Zeus hated fuckin’ excuses, but shit. What did he expect me to say?

“Office,” was all he said before he walked off. Rolling my eyes to the top of my head, I followed this nigga out of the kitchen and down the hall until we were both sitting in his office. He sat behind his desk, just staring at me before he started with his bullshit.

“Look, I didn’t mean to miss the meeting and shit. I got too fucked up last night, and I overslept. I didn’t even stay home last night. I’m not trying to give you no bullshit ass excuse, but that’s what happened.” I started talking because I didn’t need one of his speeches right now. A nigga was twenty-three…not three.

“I don’t care how you dress it up. It still sounds like an excuse to me. How am I supposed to hand this shit over to you if you ain’t ready?”

“Who says I’m not ready?” I frowned.

“Nigga, you’re saying it by being reckless and irresponsible. Ain’t no pussy about to have me late for business. Especially one that I ain’t tied to. Tighten up, Demetric ’fore I do that shit for you.” I hated when this nigga started talking to me like I was a kid, but I wasn’t stupid either. I sat there with a mug on my face and took that shit.

“You done? I got shit to do.”

“Yeah, I’m done. Don’t make me have this talk with you again because the next time, I’m not talking.” He gave me a look, and I knew exactly what it meant. I may not intentionally buck at the nigga, but I was still a man, and having another nigga run up on me was out of the question. Pops or not.

When I walked back into the kitchen, Ma Izzy and Jay were still in there. She already had my pastries packages in a container so I could take ’em with me.

“Aight, I’m out. I got shit to do. Jay, don’t call me because whatever you plotting, I ain’t got time for. Ma, I’ll see you later.” I kissed Ma Izzy on the cheek and picked up my bowl.

“Don’t forget what I said, Meech,” Zeus called to my back.

“Yep,” was my response because I already told his ass I got it. I’on need him repeating shit. I had shit to do and staying here going back and forth with him wasn’t it.

***

“Nigga, the fuck took you so long?” my boy Kev asked when I got to his spot. This was the only person from my past that I stayed in contact with. We lost touch for a few years, but one day we ran into each other at the basketball court. Nigga was sixteen and living by his self because his mama was too strung out to do anything else but get high. He started selling dope to make sure he had food and clothes. It was crazy that his mama was a crackhead, and nobody never took him from his home. Mine might have been a hoe, but she was all I had. After the years went by, I started thinking that she was glad I was gone because I hadn’t seen her since I was taken from the comforts of my reality at the tender age of ten. I probably wouldn’t know what I’d do if I saw Juanita’s ass right now. That damn day still plays in my head from time to time.

Me and Kev made plans to meet up at the court later. After we slapped hands and went our separate ways, I headed toward my house. As I got closer to my house, I noticed a strange car in the driveway. That wasn’t unusual, but I was tired of coming home from school and seeing and hearing my mama in compromising positions.

As I trekked up the driveway, I heard what sounded like arguing, causing me to pick up my pace. I don’t care what my mama did. I wasn’t letting nobody disrespect her. I ran up the stairs and opened the door to see my mama arguing with another woman.

“Ma, what’s going on?” I asked, walking up to her.

“Nothing, Meechie. Go into your room,” my mom instructed. Doing as she said, I started down the hallway to my room until the mysterious lady grabbed me by the arm.

“Demetric, I need you to come with me,” she said. I looked at my mom in confusion. She had tears streaming down her delicate face. Seeing my mom so upset caused me to become unhinged.

“Ma, what’s going on?” I asked, making my way back to her, but the lady grabbed hold of my arm again.

“Get off me!” I yelled, snatching my arm back and going to my mother.

“Ma, why is she saying I’m going with her? What’s going on?” I asked again.

“Meechie, baby. Somebody sent her here to do a welfare check. They said someone reported that I had you in an unstable environment,” she croaked out. Granted, my mom had sex with a lot of men, but she never mistreated me or anything. How could they take me from the only person in my life? I turned to the lady, and she was standing there looking unfazed by the scene unfolding in front of her.

“I don’t want to go with you. I’m staying with my mama,” I stated.

“Demetric, you have to come with me so I can take you somewhere safe,” she said just as two police officers walked into the house. I looked at the officers and realized one of them had been here before.

“You son of a bitch! You set me up!” She screamed, charging the officer.

“Ma’am, calm down,” the other officer said.

“Fuck you! This nigga been buying pussy, but you want to take my son away from me because I did what I had to do to provide for him?”

“Ms. Cole, you could’ve gotten a respectable job to take care of your son. Prostitution is illegal. I’m pretty sure you know that,” the lady said.

“With all disrespect, fuck you and your respectable job.” My mom spat.

The officers came my way, and I resisted as much as my small frame could against a grown ass man.

“Ma!” I cried out. She stood there crying just as hard as I was. The officer started escorting me out of the house, but I wasn’t going without a fight, though. I was kicking and screaming, trying to get loose. He got tired of my antics and picked me up, carrying me under his arm out of the house and into his car. My mom tried running behind the officer until the other one had her restrained. We were both yelling and screaming for them to let me go back to my mom. Both of our cries went unheard.

That was the last day I heard from her. I even went back to our old house, and the shit was completely empty. It was like she didn’t give a fuck that I was living out here in this world without her. Breaking away from my thoughts, I brought my attention back to Kev.

“All that matters is that I’m here now, nigga. I’m assuming you went to the meeting since Zeus ain’t say shit.”

“You know I was there. I called yo’ ass, and you didn’t answer that shit. Paris must’ve pulled them cougar pussy tricks out on yo’ ass last night.” We shared a laugh because he damn sure wasn’t lying.

“Nigga, did she? I didn’t get up until Zeus started blowing my shit up. I ain’t even have time to shower. I went straight to his crib and washed my ass. It was too early in the morning to be arguing with his ass.”

“I feel it. You ready for this shit, though? I mean, you already in it, but you ready to take the throne?”

“Shit, I guess. It’s crazy that he wants to give me the shit, though. I’m not his real fuckin’ son. I’m pretty sure it’s more qualified niggas than me.” I often thought about how Zeus really treated me like his kid. I mean…he’s been my pops since I was thirteen, and the only nigga that I considered giving the title to. It was times when I would look at the niggas Juanita had come in and out and tried to figure if one of ’em were my pops or not. It was hard to tell because I looked just like her ass, but it didn’t stop me from looking.

“You ain’t got time to be guessing. It’s time for you to be bossing the fuck up. Starting with this meeting, we got with these niggas.” He was right. Zeus only dealt with weed, coke, and pills. I heard you could pull in some real money if you could supply muthafuckas with guns and shit. I’m open to all streams of income. I’m trying to retire a rich nigga with a bad bitch riding my dick and spending my shit. I didn’t plan on being as old as Zeus’ ass when I did that shit either. That’s why I scheduled a meeting with this nigga, Goon. He was the connect on the guns and shit. No matter what it was…he had it. Not only have I heard this nigga was single-handedly responsible for the murder rate in New Grove, he contributed to it second handedly as well. Nothing moved in or out of the city without his consent or knowledge. Kev hopped in the car with me, and we headed to the address where we were supposed to meet.

“You think Zeus gonna be cool with you making this move without him knowing?” I glanced over at Kev with a mug on my face.

“The fuck I care what he knows or not? If he planned on passing this shit down to me, I don’t need his approval for shit. Nigga, you acting like you scared or some shit? I can’t have no scary ass niggas standing by me and shit. If you so worried ’bout what the fuck Zeus gonna say, then you can sit at the house with that nigga.” I meant every word. If this nigga was having second thoughts, then he can stand down now. I didn’t need him to flake out on me in the middle of business and shit because he was worried about Zeus’ ass. I’d do this shit by myself first before I dealt with that.

“Ain’t nobody fuckin’ scared of Zeus, or you, nigga. I was simply asking a fuckin’ question. Don’t ever try me on no shit like that again. The fuck you take me for?” The mug on his face mimicked mine, but I broke mine with a smirk.

“You’d look like a pussy ass nigga, is what the fuck you’d look like. Now stop all that fuckin’ whining and lets go in here and see what this nigga talkin’ about.”

We walked inside the restaurant, Nuni’s and gave the hostess my name. After nodding, she walked us to the back and down a hall before knocking on the door.

“Yeah!” We heard a deep voice rumble through the door.

“Mr. Reed, your two o’clock is here,” she announced.

“Come in,” he instructed. She opened the door and allowed Kev and me to walk through. We noticed another dude sitting off to the side.

“Y’all lil’ niggas know how to tell time. I like that,” he stated, nodding to us to take a seat.

“My time is valuable, so if I waste yours, then I waste mine.”

“Right now, we’re on my time. I could give two fucks about yours. Now that we got all that bullshit out the way. What kind of business we talkin’? He stared at me stone-faced, but I didn’t let that shit waiver me. This nigga looked like a fuckin’ beast, but he wasn’t about to bitch me.

“We already talked about that and I’on like repeating myself. All we need to talk about now is numbers. You tell me something I want to hear or I’m out this bitch.” I sat with my legs gaped, with my elbows resting on my thighs and my left hand resting over my right. We held each other’s mugs for a cool minute before his partner started laughing.

“I like this lil’ nigga. He ain’t scared of yo’ big ass,” he laughed. Goon broke our gaze and looked over at him.

“Lil’ nigga got heart. I’d be the first to admit it. So check it. You pay half upfront and the other half at pickup. I don’t do no consignment shit. I want my fuckin’ money upfront.”

“I ain’t looking for no handouts. I’ll bring you all your money before the drop. Just tell me where. I don’t need no nigga thinking he’s doing something for me.” He glanced at his partner again before looking back between me and Kev.

“I respect that. Look, I’on usually like none of y’all new lil’ niggas, but I see some shit in you. Keep that shit up and you might be as big as me one day.” He smirked. I heard all these horror stories about this nigga, but he wasn’t that bad, or I just didn’t give a fuck.

“Nah, I’m gon’ be bigger. Get at me with a date and time, and I’ll be there.” I stood up, signifying that I was done talking. He and his partner stood as well.

“I hear yo’ lil’ grown ass. I’ll send out that info. Don’t make me regret this.” He stuck his hand out for me to shake and I accepted. Kev and I proceeded to leave when this bad shorty walked through the door.

“Damn,” I mumbled, not even hiding the fact that she heard me.

“Aye, nigga. I don’t care what I just said. I’ll blow yo’ muthafuckin’ head open and send yo’ shit to ya mama for looking at my wife life that.” I brought my attention to his face, and this nigga looked like he had transformed. Shorty, who I now knew was his wife, placed her hand on his chest and he glimpsed at her before looking back at me.

“I ain’t got a mama, but my bad, OG. It’s all love, though.” I smirked and walked out of the office. Kev probably thought I was a crazy ass nigga, and he was right. I wasn’t scared of that nigga.

“Nigga, the next time you want to go on muthafuckin’ suicide missions, let me know. That nigga was about to blow both our shit back ’bout his wife,” he rambled.

“You sound like a bitch. I ain’t know that was his damn wife, but shit. She was fine as fuck.”

“Ain’t no bitch over here. I just ain’t stupid, nigga. I mean, we were gon’ shoot that shit out, but I’on feel like dying today. I’m tryna hit yo’ sister before I do.” He smirked, and I punched him in the jaw because I told his ass about talking about Jay like that. I’d kill that nigga if he fucked my sister.

“Keep playing wit’ me nigga and watch what the fuck I do. Leave Jay the fuck alone, Kev. For real.” I mugged his ass because I really wanted to knock his fuckin’ head off his shoulders.

“Nigga, she grown. If she wants to know what it feels like to fuck wit’ a rich nigga. Tell sis’ I got her.” He laughed like the shit was funny. I needed to hurry up and get this nigga out of my car before this shit became a crime scene.