Chapter 35
KENDRICK
Caroline and I stared at each other for several seconds, then she wrapped her arms around her waist and folded in on herself. I took a step toward her, wanting to draw her into my arms, but she shook her head.
“There’s something I need to give you,” she said. “I’ll go fetch it now.” She didn’t wait for my agreement before turning and heading upstairs.
I paced while I waited, hating that she’d pushed me away when all I wanted was to take her into my arms and offer her comfort. She wasn’t gone for long, five minutes perhaps, before she came downstairs again. I was waiting at the base of the stairs and saw that she held a piece of paper.
She passed me, and I followed her into the drawing room. The tense atmosphere set my nerves on edge. Caroline’s shoulders were pulled back, and her rigid posture told me that she was summoning the strength to say something.
“You can tell me anything,” I said, aching to wipe away the small furrow between her brows.
Caroline blew out her breath and met my gaze. “I apologize for all the trouble I’ve been to you.”
I raised a brow. “You’ve done nothing wrong. It was your brother who set all of this in motion.”
She gave a small laugh at that. “Yes, well, I suppose he’s regretting that decision. At any rate, I know I’ve asked much of you, and I appreciate the fact that you’ve been a staunch ally in all this. But I’ve come to the realization that I’ve behaved selfishly in imposing on your kindness.”
I frowned. “My kindness? Do you think I’ve been acting out of a sense of kind-heartedness?” I hadn’t meant to sound quite so annoyed, but she clearly picked up on it.
“I don’t blame you for being angry. When you came here that first morning, you wanted nothing to do with this, and it was my idea to ask you to pretend an interest in me you weren’t feeling.”
I shook my head. “Tell me, Caroline. Do you think that everything that’s passed between us has been pretend?”
She flushed. She was surely thinking about the intimacies we’d shared.
“I know I am not special to you.”
I wanted to protest, but something in her face had me holding still. She held out the paper, and I took it automatically.
I unfolded the note and scanned the lines. Disbelief crashed through me. “What is this?”
“It is a promissory note. You can add it to the one my brother gave you. I give you my word that when I receive my dowry, I will give you the amount Henry owes. I am, of course, willing to add interest, as well as whatever you think would be a fair recompense for all the trouble you’ve gone through on my behalf. ”
I couldn’t hold back my bitter laugh. “I am not in the habit of being paid to bed women.”
She flinched at the words. “I was referring to the duel, but as for that…”
I waited, but she looked away.
“Enough,” she said softly to herself. Then she met my gaze again.
“Perhaps one day, when we cross paths, we can do so on less tumultuous terms. I would love to consider you a friend, but I free you from any sense of responsibility you might feel toward me. I have demanded too much of your time already.”
She nodded then turned to leave. I watched her go, frozen in place. I didn’t know how much time passed as I stood there, but I did hear her footsteps on the stairs. Finally, my emotions in turmoil, I strode from the house.
Moreland was waiting outside. He frowned when he saw me. “What happened?”
I still held the promissory note, and I gave it to him.
He read it then handed it back to me. “You seem to be collecting a fair number of these.”
“Indeed.” A hollow pit had opened inside me, and it was impossible to think.
“So, what does this mean?”
“It means that she’s given me my freedom. She doesn’t expect me to pretend that I’m courting her.”
Moreland shifted, but his face took on an amused smirk. “So you’re free of the whole ordeal. What do you plan to do now?”
I scowled, annoyed by his reaction.
Moreland watched me. “You don’t seem relieved.”
I started to massage my chest. Why did I feel as though I’d been punched there? “I should be.”
Moreland’s eyes narrowed as he continued to examine me. “What is the matter?”
I turned to look back at the townhouse. “I’m worried about what’s going to happen to her now. Her brother has threatened to take her away from London, and I know that he still wants to marry her off.”
I couldn’t help thinking about all the men who would love to marry Caroline.
All they wanted was someone young and beautiful.
They would squash her spirit, and she would have to hide her intelligence.
I wanted to call them out right now. Every single person who’d ever looked at her with interest, especially those who had ever dared call on her.
“Well, that’s not your problem now,” Moreland said.
I turned back to him, aghast.
He was smiling now. “You’re not going to miss her, are you? Did you at least get to bed her?”
I didn’t hold back. I punched him and, for some reason, was breathing heavily.
Moreland massaged his jaw. “I’ll allow that, but only once because I’ve never seen a bigger idiot in my life.”
My fists were still clenched, but I managed to hold back from hitting him again. Despite what he’d said, I knew he’d allow it.
Moreland shook his head. “You’re in love with her, you daft fool.”
I froze, staring at him for several long seconds before turning back to look at the house.
Is that what this feeling was? The dread that had settled over me when she’d handed me that damned promissory note?
The certainty that I wouldn’t know what to do with myself tomorrow if I couldn’t see her again?
“What are you going to do about it?” Moreland said. “Are you going to let her go? Allow someone else to steal her away?”
My chest had become almost unbearably tight.
Moreland clapped me on the shoulder. “You love her, Kendrick. If you let her go, you will regret it forever.”
The certainty in his voice shook me out of my confusion because he was correct. I was already regretting that I hadn’t stopped her from walking away. I should have snatched her back. I should have raced up those stairs, found her bedroom, and told her I was never going to let her go.
I turned to look at Moreland.
He was grinning. “It seems that we’re both fools.”
I closed my eyes for a moment, recognizing the truth of his words. But I was already beginning to feel lighter. “Thank you for everything. I’ll see you later.”
I turned and headed back into the townhouse. The footman in the front hallway was startled to see me.
“Where is her bedroom?” I demanded.
He stiffened. “I’m afraid I cannot—”
“I give you my word that I won’t debauch her under your roof, but I do need to speak to her right away.”
I should have been annoyed that he so easily gave me instructions on where to find her. I took the stairs two at a time, worrying whether he’d do the same for the next man who came here looking for Caroline. I needed to get to her as soon as possible and straighten out this mess.
I knocked when I reached the room the footman had told me was hers, but not because I needed permission. I knocked because all of this would be over before it started if Lady Fredricks was home and the man had sent me to her bedroom instead of Caroline’s.
“Not now.”
My chest tightened again when I heard her muffled voice. She was crying. I flung open the door and stood there. She lay curled on her crumpled bed, her face buried in the bedspread.
“I said not now, Henry. I can’t deal with you right now.”
“It’s me.”
Her entire body stiffened, then she turned to look at me. Her eyes widened, and she hurried to stand, wobbling a little on her feet.
“What are you doing here?” Her gaze went to the open door.
I turned and closed it.
“You can’t be here,” she said with a frown. “Was the note not enough? Did I not do it correctly?”
I was still holding that damned promissory note in my hands, but I’d crumpled it into a ball. I lifted it, straightened the paper, and tore it in two. “I can’t accept this. I was never going to accept your money. I want the diamond I was promised.”
Her breath hitched. “I don’t understand.”
I took a step closer. “Neither do I, but it appears that I’ve come to think of you as mine. No one else can have you.”
Her frown deepened. “I am not an object to be given away—”
“I love you, Caroline.”
She froze and stared at me. “What did you say?”
I smiled and moved closer. When I finally reached her, I cupped her cheek and stared down at the most beautiful woman I’d ever known.
“You are, without a doubt, the largest thorn in my side, but I cannot imagine my life without you.”
Then I did something I had never expected to do. I dropped down onto one knee. “Caroline Edwards, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”
She gasped then pulled me up before flinging herself into my arms. “Yes,” she said, her voice shaking, this time with something other than sadness. “Yes, a million times, yes.”
I held her like that, gathered to me. I half expected to feel constriction in my chest again, but instead I was filled with a sense of buoyancy. I stared down at her, cognizant of the fact that I was grinning like a fool. “I thought you didn’t want to marry anyone.”
“I could say the same thing about you.”
I raised a brow and waited.
“Fine, we’ve both been stubborn. But I love you, too, Kendrick. I didn’t want to admit it, but I’ve known almost since the beginning that you are the only man I could ever see myself consenting to marry.”
I kissed her then, before the footman could assemble an army of servants to tear me from Caroline’s side.