Worship Him

Chris

I’ve never been a very nostalgic person, but driving through my hometown, seeing all my old hangouts, my high school, it’s drawing up a lot of old feelings and memories. I can practically see my teenage self walking down this street on my way home from school.

It’s been a long time since I was back here, partly by choice, partly because life has just been so busy. The only time I ever make the trip is for some family thing or the occasional holiday.

I pass the restaurant that my friends and I used to go to every day after hockey practice. It was the only restaurant in town that stayed open late. I probably spent more hours there than I did at home.

Hollow Town is small, so it doesn’t take long for me to reach my cousin’s wedding. I park across the street since the lot is full.

I make my way on foot towards the building, noting how the streets are just as lively as they were when I was growing up. Not crowded by any means, but far from vacant. It’s never been a town where everyone stays inside, and I’ve always liked that about this place.

As soon as I walk into the building, I spot my cousin Stephen, talking with someone. He sees me almost immediately and waves me over. The man he was talking to turns around, and his voice booms as he calls out to me.

“, you finally made it! How the hell did I get here before you?” Jonathan asks.

I shake my head. “Traffic was awful, I don’t know how you didn’t get stuck in it with me.”

Jonathan shrugs. “I do not abide by the laws of traffic.”

I laugh. “Of course you don’t. Stephen, I see you’ve met my best friend, Jonathan.”

“Yeah, he was just asking me what we do for fun around here.”

I give Jon a look. “Come on, you’re bored already? You’ve been here three seconds.”

“Hey, I’m just trying to figure out what the deal is here. There’s gotta be something other than the bowling alley I saw driving in.”

“That bowling alley has been closed for six years,” I tell him.

He gives me a look before pretending to shoot himself in the head.

I chuckle. “I don’t know why you came with me, man. I warned you.”

“Yeah, but I wanted to see where the great Blakely grew up!” he trails off at the end, his eyes following a woman that walks by. “Maybe there’s something to do here after all. Goddamn.”

I roll my eyes but can’t help but smile. Jon is the typical playboy that never seems to change. I watch him walk away, following after the woman.

I turn back to Stephen, who’s watching Jonathan too.

“So how are you feeling? Ready to get married?”

“You know, I’m actually still waiting for the nerves to show up. I thought I’d be really nervous, but I’m not at all. Amelia is amazing, and I’m just really excited to marry her.”

“I’m happy for you. You deserve this.”

“What about you? Tell me you’ve got something going on,” he says.

I shake my head. “Nope. Just focusing on my career right now.”

“Dude, you’ve been focusing on your career for the past ten years. Isn’t it time?”

I shrug. “I don’t know, maybe. It’s just not something I really think about.”

“Well, you better start. I don’t want to be like sixty attending your first wedding.”

I burst out laughing. “I promise it’ll happen before then.”

“Well, we better get in there. It’s starting soon.”

“You got this,” I say, slapping him on the back.

He shoots me a smile as we walk into the room where the ceremony is taking place. I spot Jonathan sitting next to the woman he saw earlier. Stephen and I go our separate ways, him walking to the front of the room, me sitting next to Jonathan.

“This is Jessica,” Jonathan says, introducing me to the woman.

“Hi, I’m .”

She smiles at me before going back to her conversation with Jon. Only when the music starts do they stop talking. We all turn to watch as people start entering the room, one at a time, until it’s time for the bride.

Amelia walks in slowly, beaming at Stephen across the room. From the minute she walks in until the minute they say I do it’s like watching a wedding scene from a movie. It’s obvious that they’re meant to be together.

Once the ceremony is over, we all head into the reception hall. I walk with Jonathan towards a few of my family members.

“Okay remember, no hitting on my cousins or anyone related to me,” I tell him. It’s like the fifth time I’ve repeated it, but I just really want to make sure he understands.

He nods. “I promise… unless she’s really hot.”

“No see, that's what I was worried about. No hitting on any of my relatives no matter how hot you think they are.”

He sighs. “Whatever, you’re no fun.”

I grin as we walk up to a few of my cousins. “Hey guys! I wanted to introduce you to my best friend, Jonathan. He came with me to visit.”

“He came here willingly?” my cousin Sarah asks like he’s crazy.

Jonathan laughs. “Trust me, I’m regretting it.”

“Well, you shouldn’t,” she teases..

And here we go. I roll my eyes and look away. At least I don’t have to worry about him joining my family. Even if he hooks up with someone, he’d never settle down.

“, hey! I’m glad you could make it!” my cousin Mathew says, walking up to me.

Mathew and I used to be pretty close in high school. It was usually me, him, and Stephen getting into trouble together.

“Good to see you! How’ve you been?”

“Oh, I’ve been alright! But what about you? How’s hockey treating you?”

“I’m doing great! Hockey is still the same as always.”

“You haven’t gotten tired of it yet?”

“Not possible,” I say, shaking my head. “Trust me, that day will never come.”

“You staying here long?”

“I doubt it. Even when I try to, something always calls me back home.”

“Home,” he repeats, as if he’s surprised to hear me say it. “Yeah, I guess it is your home now.”

Across the room, someone starts talking on a microphone, cutting our conversation short.

It’s speech time. I excuse myself and walk towards the platform, waiting for Stephen’s best friend to finish so I can give mine.

A few minutes later, he hands me the microphone, and I look out at a room full of people that I’ve mostly lost touch with.

“Stephen, I just wanted to say that I’m so happy for you and Amelia. You two have been together since we were in high school, and even back then it was obvious that you were going to end up here. I’ve never met a couple quite like you guys, and I’m honored to have been here since the beginning.”

Stephen raises his glass to me from his table, and Amelia smiles at me next to him.

“Stephen, I still remember the day you met Amelia. I remember you coming home with the biggest smile on your face, and you wouldn’t shut up about the cute girl you met in band practice. Yes, band. I’m exposing you. It’s okay, we’re all adults now and nobody cares.”

Most of the room laughs, especially Stephen and Amelia.

“I’m just happy that your dream came true and you got to marry her. Congratulations to the both of you!”

I hand the microphone to Stephen’s dad, who immediately starts rattling off the corniest, most cliché jokes.

Once the speeches are done, everyone takes to the dance floor, including Jonathan and, thankfully, a girl that isn’t my cousin. Surprisingly, it’s the same girl from earlier, Jessica.

I watch everyone dance, sipping on my champagne. Normally, I’d be joining in, but tonight I just don’t feel like it.

Stephen and Amelia are the stars of the show, and it’s obvious they came up with some kind of routine. There’s just no way this is all improvised.

But the more I watch them, the more I think that maybe it is. They’ve been together well over ten years now, it’s probably just second nature to them.

The thought makes me think of where I was back then. Who I was with.

My mood shifts as I think about Hannah, my first love. We were high school sweethearts, just like Stephen and Amelia. In fact, the four of us went on double dates with each other almost every week.

But unlike them, we didn’t stay together. All thanks to me.

I sigh, taking another sip. I hate thinking about this, but it’s impossible not to in this place.

I find myself wondering where Hannah is now. If she’s happy. If she ended up finding someone.

There’s always been a part of me that wondered if leaving her for my career was the right decision. And that feeling is strongest whenever I come home. Probably why I try my best to avoid doing so.

I leave the reception early, feeling like I need some time alone. I’m met with the fresh, cool night air as I walk back across the street to my car.

The streets are empty by now, the town quiet. It’s a nice quiet, one that helps you think more clearly than you have in years. The kind of quiet you can’t get in the city.

A bittersweet ache tugs at my heart as I imagine what life would be like right now if I’d never left this place. As I let myself follow that thought, I can’t shake the feeling that this visit home might not be like all the rest.