Worth The Risk: A Silverthorne Is For Lovers Novel

Winnie

Family lunch at the Holloway ranch is typical. Hazel is napping when we get there so we waited to eat until she got up. Rhett wrestled both his brothers. All ended up on the ground and covered in dirt at least twice. After helping Mary in the kitchen as much as she would let me, I had two glasses of wine on the deck with Florence. Being here is always a reprieve from stress and anxiety, but today I’m reminded of what I could stand to lose if it doesn’t work out between us. His family is like my family. And I can’t afford to lose any more people I love.

“So how’s is going at the bakery, Winnie? I have people tell me all day how good everything from there is.” Florence beams at me and I beam right back at her. She’s been working so hard to make improvements at the hotel and she’s absolutely killing it.

“It’s going great, better than I could have hoped. We have even more special order requests coming in daily and I’m hiring another manager to help me with day to day stuff.”

“That’s amazing! And you’ve only been open a few months.”

“I know. It’s hard to believe.”

“I wouldn’t say it’s hard to believe. You’ve always made things happen for yourself. You’re one of the reasons I decided I could run the hotel.” I’m stunned. Florence is a force. I’m caught off guard to know that I helped fuel her drive to succeed in any way. It’s beyond flattering.

“You could be successful selling leather bags to a vegan, Flo. You’re not only that good at anything you do, but also you’re the most convincing person I think I’ve ever met…maybe only second to Rhett.” She laughs.

“Thanks, Winnie. That’s always nice to hear and especially coming from you.”

“Always. And I’m always here if you need anything.”

“I know. I’ve always been able to come to you with anything.” I smile at that. She’s been like a little sister to me for as long as I’ve known her and never once did she make me feel like an outsider when I was spending time with her and Mary. I don’t know what I would do if I lost this special bond we have.

I’m wrapped in a blanket, sitting on a lounge chair, contemplating this and weighing this information against how much I care for Rhett when he comes to sit with me on the deck.

“Hey, you. You about ready to head out?”

“Yeah, I think so. Just let me make sure your mom doesn’t need my help with anything.” I stand and lay my blanket over the railing and go to grab my shoes, but notice him staring. I look down to make sure I’m covered and confirm that I am.

“You’re beautiful, Winnie.” I blush and look around to make sure no one else is listening.

“Thank you.” He stands and walks towards me, then leans in, caging me against the railing. I can feel his breath tickle the side of my face.

“You’re beautiful and I can’t stop thinking about touching you. It’s killing me that I can’t show everyone that you’re mine.” I melt as he backs away. “I’ll grab your bags and meet you out front.”

“Okay.” I stand there a second longer and smile. I really like the sound of being his. I look up and straighten when I see Mary in the kitchen window. I give her a little wave and she smiles knowingly back at me. Well, if I wasn’t sure about her seeing me and Rhett, I am now. I slip my sneakers on and lace them up, unsure about facing Mary, but I guess I better go inside.

“Do you need any help cleaning up?” I ask.

“That’s alright, sweetie. I can manage.”

“Are you sure? You know I don’t mind helping.”

“I know you don’t, you’ve always been that way, but there’s really not much left to do and I think Rhett’s ready to head out. I saw that you rode here together.”

“Yeah, it just made sense. him being my neighbor now.” She looks at me with a very mom look on her face.

“Mhmm…how’s that going? Him being next door?”

“Good. I mean, fine. We’re both busy.” I’m getting more flustered by the second.

“I’m sure you are.” She smirks. “Well, I hope you’ll be at all family lunches from now on.”

“Sure. You know I love seeing you all.”

“We love seeing you, too, Winnie. Always have, always will. I’m not sure what happened all those years ago and I don’t need to, but I don’t want you to stop coming around again. Understand?” I swallow the lump forming so I can answer. I love Mary so much. The thought of losing her is unbearable.

“Yes. I understand.”

“Good, now go on. Have a good night.” Her eyes twinkle as she says this.

“You, too. Bye.” I walk out the front door and Rhett is throwing Hazel in the air in the yard. My ovaries grow heart eyes.

“You got a little drool on your chin there, Winnie.” I’ve been caught. Knox has an amused smirk on his face when I look over.

“Oh, shut up. I was just admiring how adorable your daughter is.” He laughs.

“Uh huh…sure you were.” I roll my eyes.

“Bye, Knox.”

“Bye, beautiful!” he chuckles. I walk down the steps and towards the truck. Rhett sets a squealing Hazel down to run toward me. I crouch down and pick her, twirling in a circle. I kiss her head and she toddles off to Knox at the steps.

“Bye, Hazel baby!”

“Buh Bye!” she says and waves. My heart squeezes.

Rhett is smiling at me and has my door open when I turn around. I run and jump into my seat, smiling back at him.

“Points for style,” he says laughing and I grin, taking an imaginary bow.

“Thank you, thank you.” He shuts my door and walks to his side, getting in. All I can do is stare at him. I want him. Desperately. Even though I know that giving in to what I want may derail my life if this doesn’t work out. Colt told me that he was offered a coaching position with a team in the AHL. He’s left before to pursue his big dreams and he could do it again. Leaving me absolutely devastated in the process. Because that is what it would do to me to lose him a second time.

“What are you thinking about so seriously over there, honeybee?”

“Us,” I answer honestly before I can think of a lie.

“What about us?” I guess honesty is the only way at this point.

“Well—I was thinking about it not working out between us.” His head whips to me so fast I’m worried he may have given himself whiplash.

“Why would you be worried about that, Winnie?” He sounds alarmed.

“—because Rhett, we’ve done this before and it didn’t.” I’m trying to keep my voice steady but I can feel my anxiety rising. “I’m not saying it was your fault that it didn’t. It just didn’t.” He slowly pulls the car to the side of the road and I’m wishing I would have waited to start this conversation. I sigh. “I can’t lose anyone, Rhett.” I admit. It’s my deepest insecurity, the root of where my worry stems from.

“You won’t. That was years ago, Winnie. It’s different now.” I look out the window and out toward the mountains that surround my home and everyone I love.

“We may be different, but the stakes are still the same.”

“So are you saying you don’t want to do this with me?” he says it quietly but when I chance a glance at him his jaw is clenched tight. I look away, growing frustrated, too.

“No. I’m saying that I want to do this with you so badly that it’s all I can think about! I’ve been in love with you for over a decade, Rhett. You’re all I’ve ever wanted. I just need you to know what I stand to lose if you decide to leave again.” I look back at him but he’s smiling so widely I wonder if he’s been listening to me at all.

“What the hell are you smiling about? Did you hear anything I just said?”

“I heard everything you just said. I’m just choosing to focus on the part where you told me you’re in love with me.” I meet his eyes. His beautiful sea-glass green eyes. I wasn’t planning on saying that, but I can’t deny that it’s the truth. He hooks my knees to slide me over the bench seat and cradles the back of my head in his hands.

“You just said you’ve been in love with me for over a decade.” He stares so deeply into my eyes I feel naked. Stripped of all the the sarcasm and humor I hide behind. He looks at me and I feel seen. I’m not used to being so exposed. I’m always pushing people away when they get too close to the real me, but Rhett has seen me. The real me and he wants me. I want to be brave for him. I want to be brave for myself. I swallow.

“I did,” I say barely above a whisper.

“Then we can figure the rest of it out,” he says and kisses my lips softly.

“Do you promise?” I hate that I sound clingy. “I don’t want to lose you again, Rhett.”

“You’re not going to lose me, Winnie.” He brushes my hair back from my face, curling in behind my ears softly. “I don’t think I could ever love anyone or anything the way I love you.” My heart swells and my eyes sting. I kiss him. Melting into his arms and the promises he’s making. Whatever happens, knowing he loves me even half as much as I love him, will make it worth it.