1. January - Present Day
Chapter 1
January - Present Day
“ I don't think this is a good idea.”
He kisses down my neck, his hands roaming everywhere until they land on my ass. He squeezes and says, “I think it’s an excellent idea.”
He pulls me close, wedging one of his thick thighs between my legs, and I feel just how good of an idea it is. “You're right. This is an excellent idea.” We kiss desperately. I’ve never felt passion like this before. The need is so strong, I don’t even care that I just met him. I don’t care that we’re in a stall in the bathroom of the local bar.
I don’t even care that I don’t know his name.
He slips his hands under my shirt, and I raise my arms. He grabs the hem, pulling the shirt over my head and dropping it on the floor. Our mouths connect again and his hands have already pushed my bra up and my breasts are out. The pads of his thumbs are rough and calloused as he rubs them frantically over my nipples, and it makes me that much hotter and needier for him.
I fumble with his belt, sliding his jeans down his legs, then following with his boxers. When I grip the base of his shaft, he lets out a moan that rumbles through my body. “Tell me you have a condom,” I pant.
He bites at my bottom lip. “Uh-huh. In my wallet. Take it from my back pocket.” With one hand still wrapped around his cock, I reach for his jeans that are bunched around his thighs, pulling the wallet out and handing it to him. He opens the trifold, pulling out a silver wrapper, and the wallet is dropped to the floor, landing on my discarded shirt.
I step back as he rolls it on, and I turn around, but he grabs my hips to stop me. “No. Look at me.” I shake my head. “Yes, I want to see you.”
I reluctantly face him as he hitches my thigh up, playing with my clit. “You’re so wet; are you ready?”
“Just fuck me.”
He growls and slides inside me, and I nearly come right there. He begins a punishing rhythm that has me quickly escalating to a level I’ve never reached before.
“Holy fuck, baby, this is so good.”
Baby . How cliché. Though I am fucking a stranger in the men’s bathroom. My life can’t get much more rockbottom than this. I bite his bottom lip and say, “Don’t talk.”
He laughs. “No? You don’t want me to tell you how perfect your tits are and how good they feel in my hands?”
His thrusts get deeper and his grip on my waist is tight, and I let out a whimper. “What about how tight your pussy is?” He pulls me flush against him and whispers in my ear, “Your cunt is strangling me, baby.”
There it is. Despite another baby, his words and his thick cock combine to push me over the edge. Starting from my toes, I feel the sensation rush through me. My belly flutters and my body quivers. I grab his ass, pulling him in even deeper to me, and shamelessly ride out my orgasm, not caring about how my desperate pleas for more bounce off the bathroom walls.
His grunts follow as his body locks up and he spills into the condom. I continue to work my hips on him, not wanting to let this feeling go. But the minute I exhale and let my body relax, I’m instantly jolted back to real life.
The chime over the door snaps me from the scene I've been replaying in my head for the last six weeks.
“Good morning! Welcome to Dress Me Up!”
My voice sounds strangled, and I’m sure I’m flushed. Despite being four degrees outside, my body is hot just from thinking about that guy. The two women nod to me as they enter the store that was opened by my dad in the late 1980s and begin perusing the items. We are a specialized clothing store carrying everything from lingerie to wedding gowns, and that's what has always made this store special. When the town was an up-and-coming resort area over forty years ago, my dad had the idea to make it stand out. And as people traveled in and out of the town, they always stopped here for a one-of-a-kind item. A handmade scarf, a sequined coral prom dress, even men’s button-down shirts with embroidered initials were the hit of the area. Things were simpler then, with no big box stores or online shopping to deter the traffic into the store.
I go back to looking at the spreadsheet in front of me, trying to focus on the here and now, trying to make sense of where we’ve gone wrong with this place.
For the last six months, it's been a steady downhill progression. And if I didn’t know better, I'd think it was my own bad luck tainting this place. However, my brother, Lief, has assured me we’ve been in the red for much longer than that. As if that’s supposed to make me feel better. At thirty years old, I never expected my siblings and I would be the owners of this boutique, and I never expected to have to drag it out of the hole.
“Can I help you find anything?” my sister Blossom’s voice comes from behind me, and I see her walking toward the women.
“We heard this is the store to come to for lingerie, and my sister here needs something sexy for her weekend away with her boyfriend.” They giggle together.
“You’re in the right spot! Come with me, we have a bit of everything.” They head to the front left of the store and begin chatting quietly about what she’s looking for.
I watch them, taking in how excited she is about planning for her special night. My heart constricts as I remember feeling excited about nights like those too. But that was another life. It’s been over three years since I’ve had the desire to dress for anyone but myself. Over three years since I’ve felt excited about having a man in my life. In my daughter’s life.
It’s just one more loss I’ve had to push through.
I think back to that night six weeks ago with a random guy and remember the gorgeous matching set I had on. It was from the Love and Lace collection we sell here at the store, a deep pink lace bra with matching cheeky panties. The color is called Razz-Ma-Tazz Raspberry. I fell in love with the color as much as the name. It was the first time I felt sexy in a long time, and even though I left my house wearing it for me, I was glad someone else got to enjoy it too. Even if he’ll never see it again. Even if I never see him again.
“Hey, what’s wrong?”
I jump at my brother’s voice as he comes and stands beside me. “Don’t sneak up on me!” I yell and slap at his arm.
“I literally walked through the front door. The bell rang as I entered. I called your name. Twice.” He watches me cautiously. “Where’s Lily?”
“Mom picked her up earlier.” My daughter couldn’t wait to spend time with her grandma, and it gave me a chance to try and figure out what the heck we’re doing here. I go back to the spreadsheet. “This isn’t good, Lief.”
He narrows his eyes at the screen. “It’ll be over soon. We’re in the final stages of paperwork. Jack’s attorney is flying in at the end of the week.”
Jack is Lief’s best friend and has been since we were kids. He’s married to my best friend, Courtney. We all grew up together, but as adults, we grew apart so fast. Things between us all are getting better, and Jack is investing in Dress Me Up, bailing Lief and my entire family out of an impending bankruptcy.
“Are you sure it’s a good idea? I know he’s all about coming home and making amends, but can we trust that?”
“Are you asking for us, or for Courtney?”
Hearing him mention my best friend's name and remembering the bullshit she went through over the years with Jack, I look him dead in the eyes and say, “If he thinks about screwing over Courtney, I’ll have his balls.”
Lief scoffs. “Trust me, he’s not going anywhere.”
I shake my head as Blossom approaches the counter. “Have we gotten a new shipment of the Lace and Love? It seems to be doing well, and that’s what they’re looking for.” She tosses a thumb toward the women who are still searching for the perfect outfit.
“We’re supposed to get a few boxes this week, but the weather has things delayed,” Lief answers.
“The weather, or is it the new delivery guy?” I snipe out. I know it’s not his fault necessarily, but the lingerie is the only thing selling right now, and we need it. If we turn someone away while waiting for stock, they’ll just buy somewhere else.
“Come on, January, you know it has nothing to do with delivery guys or the company,” Lief says.
“Drake is hot. You should be placing orders every week so he has to come here more often,” Blossom remarks, practically with hearts in her eyes.
“Who the fuck is Drake?”
“The new delivery guy. I told you to get here early and see him.”
I shake my head. “I’ve got a three-year-old. There’s no way we’re getting out of the house early just so I can ogle some delivery guy. And besides, don't let Bennett hear you talking about him like that.” I side-eye her. Her best friend, Bennett, has had a thing for her since they were little, and it’s clear as day to anyone who sees them together. She insists they’re only friends and it will never go further, but I've never seen either one of them with a steady boyfriend or girlfriend. Sure, a date here and there, but they always seem to find each other at the end of the night.
She waves her hand dismissively. “Bennett has nothing to say about anything.”
“Just bang it out and be done, please. Then talk to me about not having anything to say.”
Lief makes a gagging sound. “Don’t ever use that phrase in front of me again.”
I laugh. I love embarrassing him. “Same for you; find a chick and break the dry spell, please. Maybe you’ll be a bit nicer.”
“Says the ornery sister.”
“I’m ornery because someone needs to keep you guys in check. That, and my daughter is three going on sixteen.”
And I have to do it all alone. I won’t say that out loud though. I walked out on them all those years ago after dad died. I couldn’t stand the sympathetic looks and the whispers as I moved through town. But moving away wasn’t all it was cracked up to be either. Then I failed in a new place, got pregnant and was left alone once again when Lily’s father died, and I had to make a decision. After a few years of working accounts payable jobs at various start-up companies, I had nothing else, so I came back home when shit went south. It’s not fair for me to ask for help now. But being the amazing family that they are, they step up and try to make things easier every chance they get. I’m slowly accepting their help here and there, but Lily is my daughter, my responsibility, and I’m always sure to make that my priority.
“Wonder where she gets it from,” Lief remarks snidely, and I give him another smack.
“Anyway, it’s only the first week of the year, and as Dad liked to say, we’re going to be wrapped in winter for the next sixteen weeks at least. You better get the shipments here on time. Falling snow, a resort town, and lingerie just go together. And right now, we need all of it to happen.”
Right now, it has to happen in order to save this store. Dad’s untimely death left it up to us to carry the legacy forward. I have to put my faith and trust into my best friend's husband and my siblings that, by keeping the store, we’re making the best decision. I don’t like relying on others, but for this, I have to. As for my own life? I’ve proved over and over the only one I can count on is myself.