Chapter Twenty-Seven
Keely had spent the majority of her time in Caine’s bedroom sleeping.
The previous night had taken a toll on not only her body but her mind.
She’d been in and out for the last hour.
When she’d checked the time, it was a little after four.
She woke up when she heard footsteps through the loft.
She expected Caine to walk in, but he hadn’t.
A few minutes later, Keely sat up staring at the empty doorway.
She distinctly heard the light banging of a metal door and knew he’d gone up to the roof.
His escape. She kicked her legs, shoving the sheets off of her.
She’d stolen one of his T-shirts to sleep in but it would be cool on the roof.
She found a sweatshirt in his closet and put it on.
She walked through the kitchen, heading straight for the ladder.
As predicted, the trap door was wide open when she looked up. She briefly debated giving him space.
No.
Keely climbed the ladder, popping her head through the opening. Caine was pacing on the roof. Everything that had happened was obviously weighing heavy on him. Maybe he did need time alone.
“You just gonna stand there, or are you coming up?”
Caine was peering over the ledge with his back toward her.
“How’d you know I was here?”
“I always know.” His voice was deep with a graveled edge.
She climbed up and stood by the opening. Keely had a semi-prepared speech to debunk his own claims from earlier. She put a lot of thought into it. But in true Keely fashion, she wound up flying by the seat of her pants.
“I’m the worst fucking employee the Bowery has ever seen.”
Caine scoffed.
“It’s true. I’m sure there are a dozen people who can and will vouch for that. I’m horrible with money and anything to do with finances. I have a little bit of a mean streak, just ask Killian. And I’m irresponsible and careless.”
He glanced over his shoulder.
“Some people would warn you to stay away from me.” She clasped her hands and shrugged. “’Cause I’m not always a good person either.”
Caine shook his head. “Not the same.”
She walked over to the couch and sat. “Okay, probably not, but it doesn’t change who I am. Super flawed, Caine. So fucking imperfect, it’s ridiculous. I’ve made mistakes at every turn, and yet somehow” —she cocked her head, lifting her hand toward him— “You’re still here, right?”
“Not the fucking same.” He growled.
“Why do you get to be the one who decides that? And why do you have so little faith that I would take your side?”
“’Cause it’s the wrong fucking side!”
Keely chuckled, a belly driven, authentic laugh.
Not because it was funny but the irony of it all.
She straightened in her seat and extended her arm, pointing at the bandage.
“Look at me, Caine, I’m beatdown, scared shitless, and less than twenty-four hours ago, I had a gun in my face.
” She widened her eyes. “I thought I was going to die. That’s a big fucking deal.
And then to add to all the chaos, I was whisked away, hidden, and protected.
That doesn’t happen in real life.” Keely snorted.
“Not in mine. But it did. And the whole catalyst, the ringleader, was you. Protecting me.” She clasped her hands, resting her elbows on her knees, staring directly at him.
“So go ahead and create some scenario where you are the bad guy here. You can try. Try all you want. But you’re not going to change my mind.
And as for this world you’re trying to shelter me from? I’m in it now, Caine.”
“I hate that I made this your life.” He spoke through clenched teeth.
“Well, it is, whether you like it or not. This is my new reality. So you can placate and pretend for the sake of me. It won’t change anything.”
He stalked forward with a menacing glare. It was meant to scare her. A month ago, it would’ve worked. But not now.
“This wasn’t supposed to be your fucking life.”
“It is now. And you get to decide how far you let me into yours. How deep do I get?”
His whole demeanor turned rigid, and his glare was icy cold. She drew in a breath and glanced down at the space next to her. “Please, Caine.”
He sighed, grasping the back of his neck and moved closer to the couch. Then he sat next to her.
“Let me in, Caine,” she whispered. “Please.”
It was a desperate plea, and he looked over. Something had changed. He was in an internal struggle, and she recognized it.
He stilled, shaking his head, and she met him with a nod. “Yeah, just let me in.”
He straightened, glancing over the edge of the roof. Seconds passed by that felt like minutes. Pushing him wouldn’t do any good. Caine needed patience. That was exactly what she’d give him.
“I didn’t tell you everything about my past.”
“Tell me now.”
Keely adjusted her position on the couch, to face him, keeping her eyes locked on Caine. He never veered his gaze off the view of the city from the roof. It was as if he was lost in thought. Maybe he was. If that was the case, she’d wait.
“My uncle served seventeen years,” he said.
Caine had shared that information before but hadn’t gone into detail. Keely remained quiet. Just listening.
“ Seventeen fucking years . That was it. My brother got to live and breathe for only ten, and all it was fucking worth was seventeen years?”
She sucked in a breath, taking on his pain. It was almost physical. As if the air in the outside world had thickened, and her chest grew tight. How does one rationalize Caine’s truth? How could anyone dig into the depths of their soul and make sense of it? I can’t.
This was another side to Caine. One she hadn’t seen. He was like a live wire ready to set fire and explode. And I get it. Ten years. It was barely a snippet in life. Everything was cut short. There was so much his brother hadn’t seen, a life he hadn’t lived. But one he’d deserved.
“That motherfucker walked out of jail at forty-six years old. Probably had another forty years left in him. Young enough to forget the past and start new. Live a life, get a career, wife and kids. A fucking family. My brother got ten, and this motherfucker was gonna get another forty?” Caine’s jaw squared, and his tone was feral. “No!”
Her eyes welled, and the lump in her throat thickened.
“Tell me,” she whispered.
“You don’t wanna fucking know.”
“I’m right here, Caine. Tell me.”
He dragged his hand over his head. His body was stiff and rigid.
She knew he was at a crossroads. He was weighing his options to share with her or keep it bottled up.
This was the true test of who they were to one another.
The sex, the laughs, the shield built to protect the other…
that was the easy part. The good stuff. But it wasn’t the reality.
Love was beautiful, exciting, and all encompassing.
And it was dark, painful, and consuming.
There were parts to both of them that were flawed, imperfect, and messy.
“I fucking killed him. A bullet to the forehead, and I made him look me straight in the eyes when I took that shot.” His gaze darkened. “I didn’t even fucking hesitate.”
Justice for his brother.
“I get it, Caine.”
He jerked his head, staring back at her. It was hard to read through his anger.
“Do you?”
Keely nodded in a trance. Words were unnecessary. This was Caine’s time to speak, to unleash, and maybe to just let go. And I’m going to give him that. She’d give him anything he needed.
“My mother?” The venom spewing from his lips had Keely sinking deeper into the couch. “She got fucking lucky.”
“Caine,” she whispered.
“The only reason she isn’t six feet under with a bullet to her skull, the only reason I fucking let her live, was because she turned her shitty life around.” Caine was seething. “The only reason that woman gets to breathe is because of me . And she doesn’t fucking deserve it.”
He shot up from the couch, pacing in front of her like a caged animal. He grasped his hips and bowed his head.
“But her kid does.” His tone was so low, she almost missed what he’d said. Her kid?
“She had another child?”
Caine sucked in a deep breath, and she watched his chest expand. “Yeah. A girl.”
“Your sister.”
“No,” he snapped. “She’s not a part of me or my life. Hers was different. And it’s gonna stay that way.”
This wasn’t Caine denying his connection.
It was a conscious effort to put the distance needed between him and his blood sibling so she would never share a similar fate as him.
It was a selfless act and statement. It chipped away at the monster he perceived himself to be. It showed his humanity. And his heart.
Keely rested her hand on the couch and tapped lightly. She didn’t want him so far away. Caine took the seat beside her, clasping his hands and resting his elbows on his knees.
“How do you know about her?”
“I watched my mother and waited for a while. I was never in the position to enact revenge, but I never fucking forgot. Just moved on, trying to make something, fucking anything of myself. When I got into the Underground, I made it my life. But I never fucking forgot. When my uncle was released, I stalked him. Watched his every fucking move for a week. Where he went, what he did. Everything down to what he ate and what he took joy in. He liked the park. He was content there. I could see it on his face. He was enjoying his freedom. He could finally breathe easy.” Caine’s lips twisted. “I gave him one week.”
“And her?” Keely lowered her voice.
“Had everything planned out. The lure, the house, and where I’d dispose of her remains.” Caine’s gaze darkened. “A bullet to the forehead with her looking straight at me. Same as my uncle.”
Keely inched closer, sliding her hand over his forearm.
“Then I deep-dived her life. She’d changed. Got remarried, had a kid. Turned her life around, I guess.” He paused. “Lives in Blacksburg with her family. Her kid posts on social media. A lot of it is praising her mom. She got the good part of her. A good mom.”