Xeni (Mate’s Mark #4)

Chapter 1 Bash

Bash

Seven years ago

That damn minute hand is stuck in place. Only two minutes have passed since I last looked at the clock, but I’m convinced it’s lying to me.

Maybe it needs batteries. I make a mental note to check.

Time is funny like that, and always seems to change speed depending on your expectations. When you’re dreading something, it stretches every second like it’s enjoying watching you squirm.

But the good stuff?

A surprise afternoon off, a night with friends, or those rare moments when everything feels right?

Poof.

Gone in a blink, leaving you wondering where the hell it went.

I’m supposed to be working, not… daydreaming. As a scientist, I hate to even use the word, but there’s no other way to explain why I’ve spent the past fifteen minutes staring at the same stack of reports without absorbing a damn thing.

I glance at the clock again.

Only one minute gone this time.

I shove the papers away with a sigh and move to the microscope. The image blurs as I adjust the dial, then everything comes into sharp focus. Twinkling cells sit between two glass slides, though their luster has faded in the hours since I’ve had them.

At first, they’re always lively. They shake and tremble in some sort of interpretive dance I don’t know how to decipher, but that spark of life fades faster than we can study it.

Time isn’t on either of our sides, it seems.

Movement at the door makes my head shoot up, but it’s only Sprocket. She clocks my eagerness, her brow lifting and her lips twitching in amusement, so I do the rational thing and shove my burning face into the microscope.

“Sebastian,” she calls in greeting.

I try for nonchalant as I glance up, like she might not realize I already saw her and tried to hide.

“Hey, Sprocket.”

She smirks but says nothing else as I force myself to get some work done. After a few minutes of staring blankly into the lens, I sit back with a sigh. The doorknob twists, and my head snaps up again in a response that’s becoming Pavlovian.

Only this time, I’m rewarded.

Xeni’s long hair swishes behind him as he steps in, gleaming like strands of spun pearls in the overhead lights.

He surveys the room before he spots me standing there with my hand half raised in an awkward wave.

His solid white eyes lift with his smile, and he flutters his fingers back at me before heading into the locker room.

For years now, I’ve thought these feelings for him might fade, but then he does something as simple as tossing me a grin, and I melt like butter. I go gooey and doe-eyed, and it’s game over.

Ever since the day we met, something has pulled me to him, but Xeni seems untouchable. Too elegant, too perfect, and aloof enough that I can’t read him.

We talk often, telling jokes and sharing stories. We sit together in the break room, stop and chat when we run into each other in the hallways, and stay late to discuss work sometimes, but it ends there.

I’ve always felt like a background character in his story—someone who fades into the scenery while he commands the spotlight. He’s effortlessly charismatic, and graceful in a way that feels like gravity bends around him.

I’m the quiet extra in the corner. The one who watches and waits, and never quite believes I belong in the same frame as him.

He’s the protagonist.

I’m just… there.

A footnote. Something he steps past on his way to the next dramatic scene.

But for some reason, he keeps turning back to look for me.

Like I matter.

Like the story can’t move forward without me in it.

It’s a foolish notion, maybe, but one I can’t stop thinking about. That endless, terrifying ‘what if’ that springs to mind every time he steps into the room.

Gods, he’s so pretty.

“When are you gonna do something about that crush?” Sprocket asks, far closer than I expect.

I knock into the table and shoot her a glare over the rattling equipment. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

A remarkably unrefined snort rattles from her nose. “Sebby, baby, you’re a horrid liar. Every time he comes into the room, you freeze.”

“I do not,” I mutter, tugging on the collar of my lab coat in a blatant show of nerves, and I force my fidgeting hands to fall to my sides when I catch her smirk. “Oh, come on. We’re friends. What am I supposed to do when he walks in? Give him a fist bump because we’re bros?”

“Yeah,” she says with another snort. “Friends go out of their way to use the one lab a certain someone has access too, even though it has the worst equipment.”

I gesture at her working alongside me. “You’re in here, too.”

She props her chin on her hand and stares at me with that infuriatingly smug half-smile. “Of course I’m in here. Watching you two idiots is the most entertaining thing on this base. You totally get heart eyes every time you see each other.”

The flush burns from my neck to my ears, and she tilts her head, chewing on the inside of her cheek like she’s deciding whether to twist the knife further.

“He likes you too, you know,” she says.

“What?” I turn so fast I bump the table again and send a pen rolling towards the edge.

“Males,” she mutters as she catches it and twists it between her fingers. “Do you need a map? An operations manual on how to manage a crush?”

“Sprocket,” I groan, already scanning the room for the nearest flammable object. Maybe a controlled explosion would shut this down before it gets worse.

“Stop dancing around each other and do something about it. I’m choking on the pheromones, honestly.

The untamed lust between the two of you is a hazard to my health.

” She fans herself, lolling her head to the side with her tongue out.

“He’s too stubborn to make a move, and you’re too shy.

Everyone on this damn base knows you have feelings for each other.

Hells, even the cafeteria employees probably ship you two at this point. ”

“They do not,” I argue weakly.

She chuckles, the sound bubbling up from her chest. “Fine, maybe not everyone, but I know. Both of you are so painfully obvious.”

“He doesn’t like me like that.”

Sprocket rolls her eyes with all the melodramatics she can muster, arms crossing over her chest as she leans back in her chair with a brow arched in challenge.

“Honestly,” she drawls, “have you never stalked the guy?”

“Uh, no?” There’s an edge of uncertainty to my tone that makes her chuckle again.

“Innocent little babe.” She shakes her head as she uncrosses her arms to gesture towards the break room. “You should check his schedule every once in a while. Half the time he’s in the lab working with you, he isn’t even scheduled for duty. I mean, do any of the other medics hang out in here?”

My tongue goes dry in my mouth, and I mutter a very eloquent, “What?”

She heaves another loud, theatrical sigh.

“Gods, I really have to spell this out for you, don’t I?

He is giving up his free time—his very limited free time—to hang out in the lab, and only when you’re here.

He doesn’t flirt like that with anyone else.

Doesn’t save them a seat at lunch just in case.

Hells, he paid for more of those espresso beans he knows you love. ”

“He did? I… I didn’t know that.”

Her gaze softens, the teasing edge fading into something warmer. “Come on, Sebby. Use that big, beautiful brain of yours and put the pieces together.”

My eyes drift toward the locker room door where Xeni disappeared moments ago, lingering on the plain metal surface like it holds the answers.

“Do you really think I have a shot with him? He’s so…” I trail off, words failing me as her snarky grin turns downright villainous.

“Shut up,” I mutter, heat creeping up my neck.

“He’s all alone in there right now,” she sings, her brows waggling suggestively. “Come on, what’s the worst that could happen?”

“Um, you could be wrong and he could turn me down? It’s a small base, Sprocket. It would be embarrassing as hell, and I’d be reminded of it every time I saw him.”

“Go on.” She plants her hands on my back and shoves, and it’s telling that I let her propel me forward a few stumbling steps. Sprocket is tiny, barely scraping five feet with a delicate frame, while I’m five-foot-ten with a few extra pounds to spare.

Neither of us is fooled. I want to be pushed.

Nerves churn in my gut as I take a couple of hesitant strides closer, my heart pounding loud enough I swear the whole base can hear it. I glance over my shoulder, seeking one last lifeline, and Sprocket gives me an encouraging nod.

My hands tremble as I reach for the door, fingers hovering for a split second too long. I can do this. It’s not a big deal.

I can.

I can?

Maybe I can’t.

Before doubt can drag me back, I push through the door, eyes fixed on the floor as I try to figure out what to say.

Pain shoots through my hip as I collide with a solid wall of a person, and my head jerks up to that familiar cascade of white hair. The impact sends Xeni stumbling backward, and I reach out to steady him in panic.

I clutch at his scrubs, but yank with too much force in my flailing attempt to help.

We both grunt as my back slams against the wall, the breath knocked out of me, and the front of his body falls flush against mine.

His forearm lands beside my head with a thud as he catches himself, and his face is mere inches away as we both freeze, wide-eyed.

Heat floods my entire body in a rush, embarrassment so scorching I’m convinced I’ll combust into a pile of ashes right here. My mouth opens, but the words scramble in my throat.

Xeni’s gaze roams across my face as I struggle to find my voice. He could’ve moved by now—could’ve laughed it off and stepped away—but instead, his eyes stay locked on mine, his weight pressing into me in a way that makes my pulse stutter than roar.

He’s even prettier this close.

A tiny smile curves his lips. “That’s one way to get me to fall for you.”