You Belong With Me

chapter042

The sense of game, set, and match to Jack was hard for Edie to accept. The final coup was her looking up his abandoned shot-across-the-bows message to her. She started to type responses, practising varying degrees of eloquent contempt and seething derision, demanding to know why he lied.

However, she knew why: to make money and clear his own name. Plus, he was far too canny to make useful concessions to Edie in a screenshot-table format.

Therefore, what would letting him know he’d got to her achieve? Nothing but more mendacious, enraging bullshit would flow from Marshall, and he’d no doubt derive satisfaction from forcing Edie into making contact. If he lacked the moral inhibitions that would stop him doing that story, nothing she said was going to hurt. Edie wasn’t sure he had ‘shame’ in his repertoire.

Elliot had said: ‘I’d gladly serve him a cease and desist from frightening Hollywood lawyers or organise a manure delivery on his driveway or whatever. But he’ll only use it to show off that he’s rattled us.’

Edie glumly concurred.

And in the not her fault and yet very much her fault file, Edie had to make extensive apologies to Declan for his featuring in Jack’s takedown. He assured Edie he couldn’t care less – whether this was true, Edie didn’t know. Declan was skilfully gracious and could hide it well if he did mind.

On Monday morning, Edie endured a meeting with vegan frozen yoghurt makers, full of boggling looks and an undue sense of fascination with her remarks on live cultures that told her they’d googled her.

Even with his high opinion of her and their Nottingham venture running well, Edie wondered how long Richard could withstand his agency being embroiled in this.

When she got to the doorway of the office, Declan was audibly still in a Teams meeting with Jessica. He’d given Edie prior warning, but she had hoped it would be over by now.

‘… I told you she’d suck you into her bullshit. At least I hope she’s only sucking you in …’

Hearing her speak reminded Edie of Jessica in person, someone she’d wanted to like her – and yet.

‘Edie’s not here right now, thanks for checking,’ Declan said.

Edie waited at the threshold. This time it wasn’t eavesdropping; it was reasonable self-preservation when trapped. She couldn’t be sure where Declan had positioned his laptop and Edie wasn’t walking across the range of the camera and giving Jess safe distance bullying thrills. Not today, Other Satan.

‘She’s skiving school on a sickie? Surprise.’

‘… Out at a meeting, actually.’

‘Oh good, you can enjoy this morning’s project – we’ve done her a song. It’s to the tune of “Sexy Sadie” by The Beatles. Seedy Edie / You made a tit of everyone …’she crooned. ‘Seeeeedy Edie.’

‘This is cruel, Jess. It’s shit behaviour. This isn’t who you are.’

‘No, the shit behaviour was telling a man you’re in love with him and jumping him on his wedding day – happy to help.’

‘You bought that story? The guy is clearly a streak of lying piss who cheated on his wife.’

‘Doesn’t make Edie honest.’

‘I dunno – I think I might have let a twenty-second snog go by now. Why the fixation?’

‘Do you really think that’s all they’d ever done? Lol. If you’re getting off with someone at their wedding, then very obviously you’ve been at it like knives for months. Amelia saw them coming out of the Betsey Trotwood late, hand in hand, bold as brass, weeks before the wedding.’

Edie started. What the …? If you were clandestine involved, why would you take that sort of risk? Edie had forgotten that subset of people involved in a scandal who were prepared to mint their own coinage.

‘Yeah yeah, and I saw them bumming on Alton Towers’ Nemesis. I think you need a new hobby,’ Declan said.

‘Honestly, Dec, I thought you were too clued up to fancy her,’ Jess said. ‘And Elliot Owen – how on earth? She must have a magical vagina or something. Let us know when you get there.’

Edie’s face flared red.

‘I don’t fancy her. Is there anything relating to the meeting left to discuss, or can I leave the cast of Mean Girls due to creative differences?’

There were stilted goodbyes and the electronic dinging sounds of screens closing.

Edie wasn’t able to hide the fact she was stood where she was and, consequently, that she’d overheard.

She walked in, and Declan turned around, startled. Fair to say, despite her unpopularity, she didn’t expect her private parts to be mocked. Seedy Edie. In front of a male friend and colleague, it was so invasive and mortifying.

There Edie had been, thinking HarrogateGate was behind her.

It was if she’d had her stitches from a wound picked open and her innards pulled out, under surgical lamps.

‘Edie … I wasn’t going along with any of that …’ Declan said, discomposed, ruffling his pre-ruffled hair.

Edie nodded. ‘I know. I didn’t sleep with Jack or go on any pub dates. He was with someone – I wouldn’t do that. I didn’t tell him I was in love with him either. It’s a free for all, because no one trusts me. It’s like The Purge when crime is legal, except it’s lying about me, and it won’t stop after twenty-four hours.’

‘It’s deranged,’ Declan said. ‘Also, some people do trust you.’

Edie intended to thank him, walk to her seat, put her things down and start work. Instead, she found herself breaking down. She put a palm over her eyes as her chest heaved.

‘Hey, come on, Tommo! You are a wonder and a triumph of a person,’ Declan said. He leaped up to put his arms around her as Edie shook. She had to bury her face in his shirt for the ugly sobbing, face-collapse phase where she couldn’t bear to be observed.

‘Sorry, sorry,’ Edie said when she could risk looking up blearily. ‘To think when Richard told me I’d have a desk mate up here, I was determined we’d set standards for professionalism.’

‘I think I ruined that first,’ Declan said, with a grin.

Edie wasn’t a public weeper or even a liberated weeper full stop, in the normal order of things. As she pulled herself together, she was worried that it looked like she’d done a damsel in distress routine at him on purpose, forcibly assigning herself victimhood by appealing to manly instincts. In either sex, Hannah called it the help me, I’m tiny move. Declan hugged her tighter, before letting her go again. It felt like a little too much, but Edie had compelled it.

‘This is a reason not an excuse,’ Declan said, as they sat down, ‘but this may have less to do with you than you might think. I’m told Jess’s husband Wes left her for someone at the college where he’s lecturing. Not many dots to join there. Like I said, though, no excuse.’

‘God, really? I’m Patron Saint of the Other Woman to her,’ Edie said.

‘Something like that.’

Edie pondered if it was unsisterly to say the next thing and concluded that she didn’t owe Jess much. ‘Is it also possible she feels … especially possessive of you?’

‘It’s possible,’ Declan said, and Edie liked his straight-forwardness. His face fell. ‘There’s nothing going on! She’s married. Or she was.’

Edie smiled. ‘Too late, Seedy Edie is sitting in judgement.’

‘Urgh. Jess is going to have one minging shame hangover from this.’

Edie doubted that. You needed to sober up to have a hangover. From what she could tell, the court of public opinion had cleared Jack and convicted Edie, with no right of appeal.

‘In other news, I’m now the proud owner of a mangy longhaired cat,’ Declan said. ‘I found him licking a crab stick he’d nosed out of the bin. I’m calling him King Prawn. I’ve taken him to the vets to check if he had an ID chip, and he’s registered as mine. It’s official: I’m a father.’

Edie managed to laugh. ‘Why not call him Crab Stick?’

‘I don’t want to make him a figure of fun. Ah look. We’ve got an email from the boss,’ Declan said.

‘Oh shit,’ Edie said. If Richard was scheduling his royal visit, that timing didn’t bode at all well. Perhaps all things considered, freelancing would be a better fit …

Declan scanned it. ‘I don’t think you’ll hate it …’

Mouth dry, Edie opened it.

You two! The Pepsi proposal is rather, if not very, impressive. They’re taking the meeting and suggest the details below. Knock them dead. I’ll take you for lunch afterwards.

Well done. Much more of this and I’ll have to assume you’re doing some actual work up there.

R

PS Thompson: I hope you are observing correct procedure when it comes to a certain former colleague and treating him with the shattering indifference he deserves. Apart from anything else, bloody dreadful jacket.

God, Edie loved Richard.