You Deserve to Know

Chapter 46

46

LAST FRIDAY NIGHT

Lisa was growing more concerned about what Anton might do. By the time the school year started two weeks ago, she was jumpy and unable to focus on anything else. Stupid, stupid, stupid , she would say to herself in the shower, hitting her head against the cold subway tile. Not enough to make herself bleed, or even to leave a mark, but enough to alleviate the pressure she was feeling. She had fucked up again. And this time she could lose so much. Her best friend, her husband, maybe even her freedom. Had she taken part in a crime?

Her relationship with Anton had turned sour. The last time they had tried to have sex was weeks ago, and he couldn’t get it up. Lisa had spent a humiliating thirty minutes trying to get him hard, which left them both embarrassed and frustrated.

Neither of them had to say that this was the end. If she cared about him, she might have cried, yelled, reminded him of his declarations of love and his promises of a life together. But she couldn’t muster the energy. They had used each other, and they both knew it. The only question now was whether he would do something dumb, something to jeopardize them both. Like actually try to publish a book about Scott. That would be disastrous. He didn’t want to discuss the new book with her. He wouldn’t talk about Scott, either. She was in the dark, panicking.

The next day, while Kai was at school and Marcus at work, she dialed Cathy Stocker’s number. Maybe if she could find out what Cathy had been discussing with Anton, how much she had told him, she would feel better. The woman might have some insight into what Anton was up to.

She left a message, and when she didn’t hear back, she tried again the next day. And the next. By Friday of that week, she had left seven messages for Cathy. Marcus came home earlier than usual that day so they could all grill at Aimee and Scott’s. While he changed, Lisa emptied a carton of Caesar pasta salad from Whole Foods into a bowl. As she worked on the salad, she thought of someone else she could call: Arlette Fagin. She looked at the clock: it was two-thirty in California.

She locked herself in the downstairs bathroom and dialed. Arlette answered on the first ring. When Lisa began to introduce herself, Arlette interrupted.

“I really can’t talk. This isn’t a good time.” There was no mistaking the hostility in her voice.

“Wait, please. Don’t hang up,” Lisa begged.

“I don’t want to be involved in any of this, you hear? Don’t use my name.”

“I won’t. I just have one question, and then I will never bother you again.”

Silence and then a loud sigh. “What is it?”

“I’m trying to reach Cathy Stocker. We chatted last month, but she’s not answering her phone. I just want to make sure she’s all right.”

“You haven’t heard? Cathy’s dead. They killed her, probably for talking to you and your friend. Now I’m not saying it’s your fault. I’m not saying that you pulled the trigger. But you got her thinking and talking and ruffling quite a few feathers around here. Pressing on some old wounds that hadn’t healed. And someone went and blew up her trailer. Now, please don’t ever call me again.”

The phone went dead. Lisa stared at it, shocked. A loud knock on the door made her yelp. She yanked open the door. “Don’t scare me like that!”

Marcus held up his hands and backed off. “Sorry. I was just seeing if you were ready to go.”

“I’ve been ready,” she said. “I was waiting for you.”

The three of them walked up the street to Aimee and Scott’s, but Lisa’s thoughts were three thousand miles away. She could picture an old woman in a mobile home among tall redwoods. Blew up her trailer. She needed to tell Anton. She had to stop him from going forward with the book.

As soon as they arrived at the house, Marcus peeled off to find Scott, ostensibly to help him grill. Lisa headed to the table where Gwen, Aimee, and Anton were sitting. She had felt Marcus pulling away from her lately. It was just as she was emerging from the affair with Anton. It was as if she had woken up from a coma and realized life had moved on without her. Where had Marcus’s interest gone? Oh, he played at being a loyal husband, but something had changed. She knew he couldn’t suspect her of cheating. He would never be able to swallow such an affront. Had he found his own little sidepiece over the past few months? It was hard to believe him when he said it was work that was keeping him so preoccupied. He even turned down sex a few times, even though their sex life had been diminishing over the summer.

“… Cathy. Cathy Stocker.”

Aimee’s words crashed through Lisa’s thoughts, shattering them. “What did you say?” She turned to Aimee.

Aimee gave her a weird look. “I said my new client’s name is Cathy Stocker. Why? Do you know her? She lives out in Potomac.”

Lisa pulled out one of the wrought iron chairs and sat down. She didn’t dare look up at Anton, afraid of what his face might be revealing. “No, I don’t know her. What were you guys talking about?”

“Noa. Cats.” Gwen popped an olive into her mouth.

Aimee smiled. “Cathy has a cat that just gave birth, so sometimes Noa goes over there to hang out with the kittens.”

“Alone?” The word comes out of Lisa’s mouth like a shriek.

Everyone lapsed into silence for a moment, then Aimee laughed nervously. “Umm, sometimes. Cathy’s a very nice person. And the kittens are adorable.”

“You don’t even know her,” Lisa said. She felt like someone was strangling her. She’d never imagined that what she was doing might somehow come back to hurt Aimee or her children. “You can’t just let your kids hang out with random strangers, Aimee!”

“Lisa, calm down,” Gwen said.

Lisa whipped her head around. “Mind your own business, Gwen. This doesn’t involve you.”

Aimee stood up. “I’ll get the salad.”

Gwen stood as well. “I’ll get the buns.”

Lisa watched the two women walk inside the house. Behind her, one of the twins let out a sharp scream followed by peals of laughter. She looked at the kids, the four younger boys jumping on the trampoline while Kai and Noa played catch with Sababa. Despite the idyll playing out around her, Lisa felt unsafe. She knew that if Aimee discovered the truth, she would lose everything. Lisa got up and went to sit in the chair next to Anton. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done?” she hissed.

“I didn’t know she was coming here,” he said in a low voice. “Do you think she’s here to track down Michael?”

“No, I don’t think Cathy Stocker is here to do anything, because Cathy Stocker is dead. Someone killed her.”

Anton’s lip began to twitch. “That can’t be true.”

Lisa glanced at the kitchen window, where Aimee was watching from inside, and waved. She looked back at Anton, but this time she forced herself to smile. “Oh, it’s true. She was murdered for talking to you.”

Anton looked sick, like he might throw up. “If she’s dead,” he whispered, “who the hell has Noa been visiting?”

“I have no clue. But it’s probably not very good, is it?”

“We need to tell Aimee,” Anton said. “We need to tell Scott. Everything.”

“No, we don’t.”

“We have to warn them. They deserve to know.”

“Anton, we are neck-deep in this.” Lisa looked up and saw Aimee and Gwen coming back outside through the sliding glass door. “We’re not telling anyone anything. Here they come. Now plaster a smile on your face and keep your damn mouth shut.”