Chapter 53 Margot
Chapter 53
Margot
His attention flits towards me again. I don’t think he realises I can see his reflection in the dining room mirror. He’s talking to Nigel the dullard from number thirty-seven. That man should come with a health warning. His bug eyes, combover and grey complexion give him a Gollum-esque appearance. But the way Brandon rocks back and forth on his heels in time with the music suggests he’s distracted. And I just know he’d rather be talking to me.
We’re all here to celebrate what his wife is trying to convince us is her thirty-first birthday party. Until I see Liv’s birth certificate, I can only assume that’s her Botox age.
This soirée is a very different affair from the one she threw when she first arrived in the cul-de-sac ten months ago. There are no London imports here as far as I can tell, just neighbours, playgroup mums and a few clients. And she hasn’t splashed the cash either. Which makes me wonder how much cash there is left. Because there’s no such thing as an infinite well. Perhaps someone needs to go back on OnlyFans to top up their coffers. My search for her profile has continued, but I’ve yet to find it.
Although we’ve seen each other a fair few times since I found that envelope in her bathroom bin, I still don’t trust her. I haven’t been sent any more anonymous packages, and I wonder if the two things are related. And until I have absolute proof she’s not to blame, my guard remains up.
I check the mirror again and Brandon’s attention moves quickly from me and back to the Gollum. I don’t blame him for checking me out, because I’m looking damn good tonight. My hair is natural and relaxed, this new bodycon dress is pushing up my boobs almost to chin level and is giving me a Nicki Minaj bum lift. Being with Liv, he must have forgotten what a curve looks like.
I’m flying solo tonight. Nicu is at home getting an early night. His tour came to a close last week, and tomorrow morning he’s off to London to start rehearsals for the new series of Strictly . So that’s potentially another three months where we’ll barely see one another.
I made a fool of myself with him earlier. Lately I’ve found myself picking arguments with him just to prompt a reaction. Tonight we bickered over sex. I was desperate for a connection with him – just a kiss would’ve been enough, and now I think about it, that’s all I should’ve asked for. He was in the bath when I made my move, hoping the hot water might help with his sore knee. I slipped my hand under the bubbles but, despite my best attempts, his knee was the only thing to remain swollen.
‘Do you not find me attractive anymore?’ I snapped. ‘Is that why you keep pushing me away?’
‘We’re just a little out of sync,’ he replied. ‘I have a lot going on for when Strictly returns and I need to keep my focus on that.’
‘And I’m, what, expected to wait until you can squeeze me in between your other commitments? I’m not your mistress, Nicu.’
‘Not anymore.’
I glared at him and he apologised. I took my hand from beneath the water and splashed bubbles in his face. ‘Fine. If you’re not interested, I’m sure I can find someone else who is.’
‘Knock yourself out.’
‘Knock one out yourself while you’re in there,’ I replied and stormed off downstairs for my first drink of the night.
Now, as I look around Liv’s perfect house, with her perfect husband and with her perfect life, I find myself resenting her more than ever. Maybe it’s unfair, but I can’t help myself. I should have a better life than the one I’m living. All I did was fall in love with the wrong person. One who I don’t think loves me back anymore.
Anna also rejected me tonight when I dropped by to pick her up, blaming a headache. But after catching her hacking at her leg like a butcher carving a pork tenderloin, I’m being vigilant when it comes to that one. As she lay with her head pressed against my shoulder sobbing her heart out that night, I really felt for that girl. The emotional pain she goes through every time she hurts herself must be immeasurable.
I top up my glass from an open bottle of Shiraz. And after an hour here, I’m positively buzzing. Suddenly I recognise the scent of Acqua Di Parma and turn to find Brandon behind me. He leans in to kiss me on both cheeks and there’s something about his soft stubble brushing against me that makes me want to grab the back of his head and devour him.
‘How’s your night?’ he asks.
I try and find something positive to say about it, but the wine has blurred my vocabulary.
‘It’s neat,’ I reply.
‘Oh no, is it really that bad?’
‘No,’ I correct, ‘I said it was neat.’
‘ Truth or Dare: In Bed with Madonna .’ He winks and I feel my cheeks blaze.
He has correctly sourced my dig. In the film, Kevin Costner describes one of Madonna’s concerts as ‘neat’, and when he leaves her dressing room, cameras catch her repeating the word and sticking her fingers down her throat. Ever since seeing the movie, that’s been my go-to word when I’m having as much fun as I would in a dental hygienist’s chair. An in-joke that nobody gets but me. Or so I thought.
‘I have two older sisters who worshipped her,’ he says. ‘They made me watch that movie as a kid and forced me to learn the dance routines. I defy you to find another straight bloke on this planet who can vogue like me.’
‘Now that I need to see.’
‘It’s okay, though,’ Brandon continues. ‘You’re allowed not to have fun. Just between us, I’d rather be upstairs.’
‘Oh would you now?’ I reply without thinking.
He grins. ‘Set myself up there, didn’t I?’ He looks around. ‘Where’s Nicu?’
‘At home.’ I shrug. ‘Probably asleep by now.’
‘Can I pour you another one?’ But before I can answer, he reaches for the bottle and tops up my glass.
‘Where’s your wife?’ I ask.
‘Fluttering about like the social butterfly she is. When we throw a party, we barely see each other.’
‘And doesn’t that bother you? That she leaves you all alone to fend for yourself?’
‘But I’m not alone, am I? Besides, I’m a big boy.’
And when he smiles at me, I know exactly what’s on his mind, because it’s exactly the same thing I am thinking. He’s going to be showing me more than just his vogue moves before the night is through.