Chapter 59 Margot
Chapter 59
Margot
The hospital is the last place I want to be. But Anna was adamant I join her. Apparently, she hates these places. She muttered something about spending too much time in them when she was a girl, but I wasn’t wearing the appropriate footwear for a trip down memory lane. I was preoccupied by trying to find a way out of this. Short of faking a heart attack or stroke, she gave me little choice but to come.
Truth be told, I’d rather be spending time with Liv’s kids than their mum. They have no expectations of me, and all I’m required to do is keep them fed, safe and entertained for a few hours until I hand them back to Brandon or their grandma. They seem to enjoy my company, and when we arrive at their home, they always hug me goodbye without being told to. They’ve shown me this is how it should’ve been between me, Frankie and Tommy when they first came into my life. They deserved attention. They received resentment. I wish I’d been better.
I’ve started trying to build inroads with them, which is difficult when you’re living under separate roofs. And to do that, I’ve decided to be honest with them. I’ve admitted it’s my fault their dad and I have separated, and they’re old enough to understand what an affair is. I’ve promised I’m going to do my best to make it up to them all. Frankie will be harder to convince than their brother – I’m training myself to use their chosen pronouns – but I’m willing to put the work in. I’ve allowed too much water to pass under the bridge to call myself their mother, but I can be their friend.
I’m hoping it’ll be easier next month, as that’s when they’re all moving back. The new series of Strictly starts soon, so Nicu will be away in London from Wednesday to Saturday each week. He’ll stay at ours the rest of the time, although we’ll have our own bedrooms.
But first, I need to get this morning out of the way. Anna senses my trepidation.
‘Are you still worried about that video?’ she asks.
‘You think?’ I say dryly.
‘We don’t even know if she’s aware of what happened that night.’
‘Then who sent Nicu the video?’
‘I have no idea. Given what’s happened since, it doesn’t matter anymore. If Brandon hasn’t mentioned it already, he’s not going to now.’
‘Perhaps I should just take the bull by the horns and apologise for what I did?’
Anna shakes her head vigorously. ‘Or perhaps you shouldn’t. Perhaps you should let sleeping dogs lie and keep your mouth shut.’
Her bluntness surprises me.
‘I was expecting you to tell me to be honest,’ I reply.
‘In my experience, people only admit the truth to ease their conscience. Don’t make yourself feel better by making her feel worse.’
Anna leads the way to Liv’s floor. It’s a private hospital so she has a room to herself. My body stiffens when I catch sight of her. She’s awake, sitting upright on top of the bedcovers, watching an afternoon quiz show on a wall-mounted television. She is casually dressed, in a sweatsuit. Even without make-up, she doesn’t look as if, just over two weeks ago, I left her at death’s door. Her arm and leg are in plaster casts and there is a bandage taped to her forehead.
‘Oh my God!’ she yelps as Anna approaches.
She leans over the bed and gives Anna a hug, and Anna places a box of chocolates and a bouquet of October blooms on a cupboard by her bedside. My heart is racing when her eyes meet with mine.
‘Margot.’ She grins and hugs me next. ‘It’s so good to see you.’
I wait for a sign that this is an act, but it doesn’t surface. She pats the side of her bed and beckons us to sit.
‘How are you feeling?’ asks Anna.
‘You know what, I’m doing pretty good, I think,’ she says. ‘At least that’s what the doctors keep telling me. They can’t find any significant brain damage. Well, no more than I had before the accident.’
I laugh nervously.
‘When are they discharging you?’ Anna continues.
‘All being well, in a couple of days.’
‘Oh that’s wonderful.’
‘I know. I can’t wait to sleep in my own bed.’
I look around at this plush room and think that, compared to an NHS patient, she’s hardly roughing it. Then I remind myself why she’s here in the first place.
‘Do you remember anything about the accident?’ I ask. I should’ve waited for her to bring it up. But my mouth is operating faster than my brain.
‘Nope, not a thing.’ She shrugs. ‘The last thing I recall is leaving the house to go for a run and then waking up in here, missing a few days and with the headache from hell.’
‘You didn’t see who hit you?’
‘I don’t think I even heard the car. Apparently, I was even dead for a while.’
‘Dead?’ Anna asks.
‘Brandon could barely locate my pulse when he found me, and by the time the ambulance arrived, it’d disappeared.’
Yes! I almost want to punch the air with joy. I was right to believe she was dead.
‘They had to resuscitate me with a defibrillator,’ she continues.
‘And do the police have any leads?’ I say.
She shakes her head. ‘And unless any witnesses come forward, they can’t put any more man-hours into the case. They don’t have the resources.’
‘Well, you’re alive and that’s what counts,’ I reply, and I mean it. And not only for my sake.
‘And you’re expected to make a full recovery?’ Anna asks.
‘My fractures are healing well, but I’ll probably need to grow my fringe out until I can have surgery on the scar under this bandage.’
She removes her phone from the cabinet next to her bed and locates a photograph of the stitches in her forehead. They’re in the shape of a crescent. Blood was oozing from that wound the last time I saw her.
‘I told Brandon I might keep the scar, as it gives me an edge,’ she jokes. ‘He said it makes me look like an ageing Harry Potter.’
I laugh dutifully.
‘The only lasting effect is that my memory isn’t great,’ Liv continues. ‘The week or so leading up to the accident is fuzzy. I can’t remember much about it.’
I wonder if she remembers recording a certain video and sending it to my husband?
‘It might come back or it might not,’ she adds. ‘It’s only a week out of my life so it could’ve been a lot worse.’ She turns to us both. ‘I hate to ask, but could one of you help me into the bathroom? My legs are still weak and I’m not used to the crutches.’
I am grateful when Anna offers to help. When they disappear behind the closed door, I seize my opportunity. Liv’s phone remains unlocked so I open her photo reel and search for the incriminating video footage. If her memory of that week is so hazy, there’s a chance she might not recall me and Brandon. It’s not here. I rack my brain to remember the format it was in when Nicu showed it to me. But in my hungover state, all that registered were the images. I check her WhatsApps, texts, iMessages, emails and Facebook Messenger, but it’s not there either.
It’s when I jump in and out of other folders that a handful of video clips in the same folder catch my eye. I can’t work out what I’m watching until a few moments in. It’s porn. Well, that’s a surprise. I turn the volume down a couple of notches. There’s a masked man having wax poured over his buttocks while a masked woman smacks him with a wooden paddle. I’m surprised this is Liv’s cup of tea, but we all have our quirks.
And then I hear this kinky couple’s voices.
‘Do you want me to stop?’ she screams.
‘Yes, mistress, yes,’ he shouts back at her.
‘Oh my God!’ I say aloud when I realise what, or who, I’m viewing. These are the elusive OnlyFans videos I’ve been searching for. I press stop and go further back. There are dozens more like this. I randomly select a few, then AirDrop them to my phone so there’s no trace of them being sent to me. The toilet flushes just as the last one appears on my screen.
Then I return her device to the home screen, place it back where it was and position myself in front of the window facing the lawned gardens that she has an uninterrupted view of.
My back is to her, so she doesn’t spot the smile I can’t peel from my face.