Young Buck: A Slow Burn Small Town Romance (Green Valley Heroes Book 5)

Chapter 44

“Thank you, Doctor.” I shook the hand of the woman I’d been with for the past twenty minutes. Like everything else about this clinic, she didn’t fail to impress. We’d reviewed my medical history, she’d performed a light physical exam, and given me a thorough explanation of my geriatric eggs.

From what I understood, I would soon be rejoined by Sassafras. She knocked on the door moments after I’d gotten my clothes back on. Once inside, she motioned for me to sit in the visitor’s chair.

“So. How did it go?”

“It was all very thorough.” I’d used that word at least five times already this hour. Kitsch notwithstanding, it really was an impressive place.

“Wonderful,” she beamed. “It sounds like you’re ready to talk about next steps.”

Out of nowhere, she handed me a folder.

“Based on the age of your eggs, and your preference to try a home kit before considering assisted insemination, the doctor recommended you get started right away. She recommended a maximum of three cycles of home attempts, then falling back on an assist. We’re already booked out to March for assisted inseminations. What I would do if I were you is book one of those appointments now and go home with your first specimen today.”

“Today?” I couldn’t believe it. “I’m just here for a consultation.”

“The timing is ideal. Based on the first day of your last period, you’ll be ovulating soon. Now, I noticed that you didn’t add any of our donors to your list of favorites. Did you need help using the tool? I’d be happy to sit with you and?—”

But I interrupted her. “I’m not ready.”

And I didn’t only mean that I wasn’t ready to bring home a vial of sperm today. I meant that I wasn’t ready for any of it. Now that I’d said the words out loud, their truth hit me. “I’m not ready,” I repeated. “Maybe I will be, but I’ve got more thinking to do.”

I braced myself, wondering whether she would have more to say about my geriatric eggs. In the end, she only smiled. “Well...now that you know everything there is to know about our offerings, we’re here when you need us.”

She handed me the proffered folder and I thanked her graciously.

When she left, I got to gathering my things—slipping my phone in my purse and sliding on my boots—still processing the events of the afternoon. A light knock sounded at the door.

“Miss Boggs? Your husband’s here.”

My husband? I didn’t have one of those. I was just about to say so when the door opened ever so slightly. A bubbly nurse who I’d seen on my way in was busy ushering in none other than Buck.

“Looks like he made it in the nick of time.”

“Buck?” I gaped.

“Sorry, sugar. Traffic took longer than I thought.”

“It’s so bad at this time of day.” The nurse was a bit flirty.

“I appreciate you showing me in.”

As did most women when Buck issued a charming smile, she blushed. Seconds later, we were alone, his soft eyes ensnaring me in his gaze. He could still pull me in, even with all that had been said and done. I would never fully get over this man.

“What are you doing here?” My voice was wispy from shock.

“I’m here because I should be with you. I’m here because you shouldn’t go through this alone.” His eyes darted to the crumpled paper gown on the table.

“I don’t think my reproductive choices are any of your business.” His words hurt, but I put on a stern face. “And you ought to think twice about spewing your ideology in a place like this.”

“My ideology?” Buck had the nerve to look like he didn’t know what I meant.

“Have you forgotten that lecture you gave me about how artificial insemination isn’t fair to the biological families? I mean, how could you be with a monster who would do something like that?”

I couldn’t tell, in that moment, which of us it hurt more: me from exposing my deepest wound, or him from feeling the slap of truth.

“Is that what you think? That I’ve been away from you over some sort of moral objection?”

“Why would I not think that?” I spat back.

“’Cause I apologized for what I said that same night.”

“Disappearing on me spoke a lot louder than your so-called apology. It wasn’t long after that, that you stopped coming over.”

Buck frowned and searched my face, then frowned deeper as he looked off to the side, as if he were trying to remember. I could see the moment he did. The confusion that had been etched on his face washed over with a wave of repent.

“Fuck, Loretta, I’m so sorry. I can see how that might have looked.”

“It doesn’t even matter.” I brushed it off. “You don’t have to approve of my choices. Honestly, I understand if you don’t.”

“It does matter.” Buck stepped closer and his voice became grave. Having him this close—being able to feel his heat and smell his clean aroma—hit me with nostalgia that was tragically bittersweet.

“Why?” My voice was a plea. And I wasn’t just asking why it mattered. I was asking why he was here. I was asking why he kept wheedling his way into my life instead of mercifully letting me get over him.

“You told me I had a year.” His voice was calm but his tone was half-accusing.

“A year . . . ,” I repeated.

He stepped closer. “That morning, in my kitchen. The morning after the best damn night of my life. You told me about your plan to get pregnant, but you said it wouldn’t be until next summer.”

“Why do you even care?”

“Because I thought I had a whole year to show you, you have other options. A fertility clinic, now that’s one option, but it’s not your only choice. You could have a baby with me.”

“With you . . . ,” I sputtered. My voice had lowered to a whisper.

“I didn’t want to scare the hell out of you. You were already so against the idea that me and you could work. I knew I wanted everything with you, Loretta. I’ve known that from the beginning. But you wouldn’t have believed me back then, so I hatched a plan to win you over. I thought I had a year.”

“Buck.” My voice was breathy again. “We’re not even together. You made sure of that.”

“I thought I had time—” he began.

But I cut him off, a surge of angry heat rising in my chest and thawing out my frozen voice. It came out stronger now. “You keep saying that word, using it as an excuse, when you know there’s a lot more to it.”

He frowned, regarding me like I was a puzzle. Did he really not understand? Maybe he was younger and more na?ve than I’d thought. Maybe, once and for all, I’d have to spell it all out.

“One day, you’re begging me to date you, the next day, you want to take a break. One day, you want me to meet your momma and bring me to Sunday dinner, the next day, I can’t come. We go from practically shacking up to me not seeing you for weeks. And you can’t understand why I don’t want you showing up randomly to cook my dinner and fix things in my house. Now, you’re telling me you want to be with me forever and you’ve known that since day one. Buck...” Tears sprung to my eyes. I felt more tired by the minute. “I don’t know what you think you’re doing. I just know I can’t be here waiting for you to grow up.”

I hadn’t meant to sound so harsh, or to say the one thing I knew would hurt him. But it wasn’t about that. It was about drawing the only boundary I could to protect my fragile heart. I’d told him to stop that night at the Pink Pony. But for some reason, he was here. I’d never get over him if he didn’t stop showing up.

But he only looked more determined. “The way I see it, there isn’t anything more grown-up than a man protecting the people he loves. That’s why I uninvited you from meeting my family, as soon as I realized shit needed to go down. My momma and I blackmailed my father last night—we strong-armed him into letting her leave. There was no way I could let you be a part of all of that.”

But I shook my head, disbelieving. Something about it didn’t hold. “That’s the other part that makes no sense. I’ve helped dozens of women get out of bad marriages. I should have been the one person you’d want on your team.”

“You have no idea how many times I wanted to call you, for moral support, and advice. But after what Tim told me, I had to keep you safe.”

“What Tim told you?”

Buck looked even more aggrieved. “He called me a few days after Nashville. It was my father who burned down his garage.”

He paused and I let it sink in.

“That’s not the only thing,” Buck continued. “I tested my father, to see what he might do. Told him I knew all about Adam. Made up a story about how I found out. I tried to talk him into coming out with it, and doing the right thing. But he just kept grilling me. Trying to find out who knew.”

“Oh.” It wasn’t the explanation I’d expected. I still thought Buck could’ve used me, but, by man logic, it made sense.

“But why couldn’t you see me? I mean, even if you didn’t want me at Thanksgiving, why’d you have to stay away?”

“Because I had four weeks to secretly move my mother’s entire life out of my father’s house.”

“So all those nights your truck was gone...”

“. . . I was up at Lookout Mountain.”

It made sense, every last bit of it, but it didn’t explain why he’d waited so long. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”

Buck looked repentant, and shrugged. “My father would consider anyone outside the family who knows our dirty laundry a threat. That night you offered to help...part of me believed that if I didn’t take a hard line, that you wouldn’t back off. You are tenacious. Hasn’t anybody ever told you that?”

I blinked, still processing all that had happened. Buck chose that moment to close the distance between us, to collect me up into his arms.

“Loretta...” He forced me to meet his gaze. “I love you, girl. And I’m sorry you had to get all mixed up in my family mess. And I hope you believe I was only trying to protect you. Last night, I put my momma, and Tim, and Adam on a cruise to South America. I didn’t go with them because I knew I needed to be here with you.”

“With me?” I repeated, still trying to take it all in. It had been quite a turn of events.

“Of course, with you. You’re the only person I want to see at the end of the day.”

“But, why?” I hated that I had to ask the question. Now, I was really laying myself out raw. If I was honest, this truly reflected my deepest fear. Buck was young, he was sexy, he could have had any woman he wanted.

“Loretta.” He held me close and tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear. “You’re principled, and loyal. You care about your friends. You’re not afraid to stand up for what’s right. You’re some kind of goddess in the kitchen with all your herbs and remedies, and you barely even cook, but when you do cook, it tastes like love.

“And when you talk, no matter what you’re talking about, I like to listen. And you’ve never made me feel objectified for being a firefighter, and you’ve never been intimidated because I’m the former governor’s son. Never once, no matter how truly strange our interactions, did you see anyone but plain old Buck.

“I don’t even care anymore if you had the procedure. No matter where your baby comes from, I’ll love her. As long as you come back to me. And let me be her daddy.”

It was at that point that I let go of every bit of lingering doubt and let myself melt into him, finally relaxing down into his arms.

“It’s over, Loretta.” He spoke softly and stroked my hair. “All this stuff with my father. He won’t be a problem anymore. And I’m not going to leave you on your own like that ever again. I won’t ask for your forgiveness—not now. But I will ask for a chance to earn back your trust. It would mean everything to me if you’d give me that.”

With those words, I nestled even closer in his embrace and let him rock the two of us gently. I gave a little sniffle. “You had me at, ‘I should be the one to impregnate you.’”

I expected to get at least a tiny laugh out of him, but he only pulled me closer. “Damn skippy.”

We held on to each other a little longer, until he pressed another firm kiss to my temple.

“Now, where’s your car? I’ll drive you home.”

He took hold of one of my hands while opening the door with his other, taking a rather cautious look left and right before ushering me outside.

“What about your car?”

He hitched an arm over my shoulder and took me in the opposite direction from what I was fairly sure was the exit. “No need to worry ’bout my car. I got a ride.”

I frowned openly. “Who gave you a ride all the way from Green Valley?”

“A few of the guys.” Buck was suspiciously vague. “And we might want to hurry and get on up out of here. I’m not sure me and my buddies are welcome back.”